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For a moment, Buffy just stared at Spike, then she shook her head in denial. “I don’t believe that.”

Spike glared at her. “Yeah? What would you say if…” He stopped then, shaking his head. “Forget it.”

Buffy snorted in disbelief. “Oh, no you don’t! You can’t just drop a bombshell like that and then…!” Realizing she was yelling, Buffy stopped and took a deep breath. “Maybe I should just leave.” She immediately regretted her choice of words, seeing the devastated look on his face. “I didn’t mean…” She sighed. “I’ll be back, it’s just… well it’s late, and you’re…”

“Pissed. I know.” Spike leaned back on the couch with a sigh. Buffy looked at him in confusion. “Means drunk, pet.” She gave him an ‘oh’ look. He buried his face in his hands for a moment, then looked up again. “I’m not…” He hesitated, failing to find the right words. “If you’re gonna leave me, then let me know now. Please.”

Buffy felt tears welling up in her eyes, refusing to let them fall. “Spike, I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

He gave her a tired look. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Buffy. Maybe you’d be better of without…”

She gave him a death glare. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence! That’s up to me to decide, not you.” He merely shrugged. Buffy opened her mouth to say something more, then decided against it. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close. He tensed up for a moment, obviously taken by surprise, then he hugged her back, a little awkwardly.

“Spike, I’m so sorry.” He pulled back and gave her a confused look, and she hurried to explain. “I should never had invited your father over tonight, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wanted to help, but I should’ve known better. I was wrong, and I’m so sorry.” He started to say something, but she interrupted him. “Don’t tell me it’s okay, because it’s not. I made a decision that I had no right making. But I promise that it won’t happen again.”

He nodded. “Okay. But I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that. I didn’t mean…”

She interrupted him again, this time with a kiss. “I know. I was upset at first, but I understand.” He looked relieved. Suddenly Buffy started giggling. “I can’t believe you hit Angel! I’m not saying it’s okay, but…” Another fit of giggling hit her. “Did you see the look on his face, I don’t think anyone has ever done that to him before.” She noticed that Spike wasn’t smiling. “Not funny, sorry.”

Spike shrugged again. “You’re the one that told me to stop. I would’ve gladly kicked the shit's head in, and mightily enjoyed it too.” He’d meant it as a joke, but the look on her face, and the way her giggling stopped abruptly, made him regret it and he looked down on his hands.

Buffy looked at him, now with a serious expression on her face. “We really need to talk.” He nodded, then tried to keep from yawning. “Tomorrow. You should try to get some sleep.” He nodded again, but seemed reluctant.

“You’re leaving then.” It came out more as a statement than a question, as if he already knew the answer.

Hesitating for a moment, Buffy knew that she didn’t want to leave, but maybe she should. It had been a crazy night so far, and by the look of it, things could still get much worse. She didn’t know if what Spike said was true or just drunken ramblings, of course she was hoping for the latter, but he seemed to know what he was talking about. And that frightened her.

As if he could read her mind, Spike cupped her cheek and forced her to look right into his eyes. “I would never hurt you, Buffy. You have to believe me.”

The pleading note in his voice almost broke her heart. She blinked away a few tears, knowing that she’d already made up her mind about staying. Hell, who was she kidding? Her mind had been made up since the moment she’d ran off to The Bronze, looking for him. “I do.” The shocked expression on his face was so obvious that it almost made her laugh. Almost. “Go to bed, and we’ll talk tomorrow. I’m sleeping here on the couch.”

He looked a little disappointed for a moment, but covered up quickly. It was obvious that the couch wasn’t where he wanted her to sleep, but also knew he didn’t have the right to ask for anything more. “You take the bed, I’m staying on the couch.”

Buffy started to object, then changed her mind. “Are you sure?” He nodded. “Okay. Thank you.” She got up, yawned, and realized that he wasn’t the only one who needed to sleep. “Good night then. See you tomorrow.”

“Buffy?”

She stopped, turning around to look at him. When he didn’t say anything more, just looking at her, she walked back to the couch. Spike got up, pulled her into his arms and hugged her hard. Then he kissed her, and suddenly she didn’t care about anything else. It was if the world around them had ceased to exist, and nothing else mattered.

But, of course, the moment was over all too soon. With a sigh, Buffy pulled back, knowing that if she didn’t, she wouldn’t get to the bed tonight, at least not alone, and for some reason she felt like that was important. She loved Spike so much it almost frightened her, but obviously he was right when he’d said that there were things about him that she didn’t know.

And a part of her really didn’t want to know. Because deep inside she feared that, whatever secrets he’d been hiding, it would be so bad that she would have to leave him. The mere thought of not being with him was almost too painful for her to handle, but what if she’d been wrong? What if their love just wasn’t strong enough to handle the truth?



TBC





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