She wondered how much of what happened tonight he’d remember in the morning. They would have to talk, really talk, and that scared her. She also wondered about Angel, how he could possibly have known anything about Spike and Drusilla’s relationship. At first she’d been convinced that Angel had simply been lying, but then Spike had told her he wasn’t. And what did that even mean? Buffy felt a headache coming up.
‘Did he tell you that he used to beat up his girlfriend, just for fun?’
Buffy shook her head, as if to clear it. It was ridiculous, Spike would never do something like that! But he had said… She let out a groan, desperately trying to push the memories of tonight’s events to the back of her mind, at least for now. She laid back down and closed her eyes, trying to force herself to go to sleep. But, of course, she failed.
Spike was tossing and turning on the couch, trapped in one of his countless nightmares. His arm reached out in the air, as if to search for someone, anyone, who could save him.
‘Do it! Hurt me! Punish me!’ Drusilla’s hysterical voice seemed to be coming from everywhere at once.
‘Hey, Willie! Here to watch the show?’ Spike tried closing his eyes, but he was unable to block out the sight of Angel and Drusilla together in bed, that, and the smug look on Angel’s face.
‘Spike, stop the car, I wanna get out! You killed her, and now you’re gonna kill me!’ Buffy glared at him, angrily, as her blood was dripping down on the car seat.
Drusilla traced his cheek with her fingers. ‘You know where I am now, sweet William? I am nowhere. The stars wouldn’t have me.’ Her smile disappeared, and her eyes were cold and empty.
‘Spike, I don’t love you. I never did. No one can love a murderer. I’m leaving now, you killed me.’ Buffy turned away from him, and disappeared.
Angel was laughing.
Drusilla and Buffy were standing next to each other. The dark-haired woman whispered something in Buffy’s ear. Both of them looked at him, giggling. Then they both started screaming.
‘Do it, Spike! Hurt me!’
’Stop it, Spike! You’re hurting me!’
Angel was still laughing.
Spike tried to back away, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t move. Panicking, he started fumbling with the seat belt, but it was stuck. He looked up, and saw the cliff coming closer. And the car kept going faster.
‘I’ve been bad, Spike, do it!’
‘Spike, don’t do it!’
Everything went black.
The first thing Spike was aware of when he woke up was that he wasn’t alone, someone was holding on to him, and he panicked, desperately trying to pull away.
“Spike, stop it, it’s me!”
Spike stopped struggling, blinked a couple of times, and looked into Buffy’s worried eyes. “Buffy?”
She ran her hand gently over his hair. “I’m right here, it’s okay.”
The horror from the nightmare, and then the relief of finding out that it was just a dream, suddenly became too much for him, and he broke down, right there on the couch, hard, uncontrollable sobs shaking his body. Beyond embarrassed, he tried to pull away from Buffy, but she would have none of that, as she gently pulled him back into her arms.
“Shh, it’s alright. I’m right here, baby, it’s gonna be okay.” He gave up, and buried his face against her neck, clinging to her almost desperately. They sat like that for a long time, just holding each other, and eventually he started to calm down.
Finally he pulled back, giving her an apologetic look. “Sorry.”
“I love you.”
It was the last thing he’d expected her to say, and for a moment he was stunned. Then he swallowed. “Love you too.”
Buffy smiled, kissing him softly on the lips. “I know.” Then she gave him a thoughtful look. “You were having another nightmare. The accident again?”
Spike shrugged, not wanting to meet her eyes. “Something like that.” She obviously expected him to go on, but he didn’t. He didn’t want her to know that she also had been in the dream, it made him feel guilty for some reason he didn’t understand.
Buffy looked a little confused, but nodded. “You wanna talk about it? Or is it too private?”
He didn’t want to talk about it, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying so, either. “Buffy, I…”
She raised her hand to stop him. “It’s okay, I understand. Come to bed with me.” Staring at her in confusion for a moment, Spike shook his head in denial and opened his mouth to object. Buffy went on before he could say anything. “Please? It’s your bed after all, and I…” She hesitated before looking down at her hands. “I don’t think I can sleep without you.”
Spike looked away. “Don’t wanna sleep.”
Buffy looked up again, taking his hand in hers, and shook her head. “No. No sleeping. Just resting.” He didn’t say anything, just looked at her like a lost boy, waiting for her to take the lead, so she got up, gently tugging on his hand. “Come on.”
He let her pull him to his feet, but then gave her a serious look. “I mean it, Buffy, I don’t wanna sleep.”
She nodded. “I know.” He looked at her for a moment, then nodded, and let her lead him into the bedroom. Buffy closed the door behind them, and they curled up on the bed, together, under the covers. In less than five minutes, they were both deep asleep and slept peacefully in each others arms for the rest of the night.
TBC