Buffy was both surprised, and happy when Spike told her to come in. Then she saw Giles, and immediately felt bad for imposing. It had never been a secret that Spike and his father didn’t get along since the death of his mother, and judging by the tension in the room, things were still the same. She smiled politely. “Hi, Mr Giles.”
Giles returned the smile. “Buffy! How lovely to see you. How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” Buffy gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, if this is a bad time… Maybe I should just…?” She looked at Spike, wondering what to do.
Spike shook his head, gesturing for her to sit down. “Rupert was just leaving.” He turned to his father. “That was fun. Must do it again some time. Have a nice trip back to the mother country.”
Giles cleared his throat. “I told you I was staying for a couple of days. Maybe we could get together again before I’ll go back?” He looked hopeful.
Spike slumped down onto the couch. “I’m busy the next couple of days. Got a lot to do, you know how it is.”
Sighing, Giles nodded. “Of course, I understand. I’ll let you know where I’m staying, in case you’ll change your mind.”
Spike shrugged. “Whatever.”
Trying to hide his disappointment, Giles turned back to Buffy. “It was very nice seeing you again, dear.”
Feeling very awkward, Buffy managed a smile. “You too, Mr Giles.”
Giles nodded, and left the apartment. Buffy swallowed, suddenly feeling like an intruder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know your father was here. Did you say he was going to England?”
“Yeah, he lives there now.”
Buffy nodded, waiting for Spike to say something more, but he didn’t. She glanced around the room, nervously, trying to think of something to say. “So…your place looks…pretty much the same.” She cringed at how lame that came out, and hurried to add; “Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, I just meant…it’s nice. Here. The living room. I don’t know about the rest, because…well, I haven’t seen it. But I’m sure that it’s nice too.” Realizing that she was babbling, she blushed and looked down at her feet.
Spike didn’t answer, and Buffy was starting to get more than a little freaked out by his behavior. She looked up again, determined to start a conversation, whether he liked it or not. “So, how’s Giles?” The glare Spike gave her told her that it had been the wrong thing to say.
“Got married to a bird half his age, knocked her up three months later. Moved back to England about a year ago.”
“Oh.” Buffy had no idea how to respond to that. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Spike merely shrugged, and she had to bite her lip to keep the tears from falling, feeling worse by the minute. He really must hate me, she thought, realizing that Spike probably invited her in just to get rid of his father. Now with Giles gone, it was obvious that Spike wasn’t interested in talking to her.
“Why did you come here now? It’s been two bloody years.” He sounded more than a little bitter, and Buffy couldn’t blame him.
She swallowed. “Actually, it’s been two years, six weeks and four days. Five days with today, but I don’t think today counts.”
Spike stared at her, surprised. “You been counting?”
Buffy blushed again, feeling very stupid. “Yeah.”
“Why?”
That's the million dollar question, Buffy thought, sighing. “I don’t know. I just…did.” He nodded, and there was silence again. Then she remembered the letter and reached for her purse. Pulling up the folded paper, she took a deep breath and handed it to him. “Here.”
Spike frowned. “What is it?”
He took the paper from her, and was about to look at it, when she panicked. “Wait! I… read it when I’m gone? Please?” He looked confused, but nodded. Buffy let out the breath she’d been holding, and got up. “I should probably go.” She was hoping that he would object, but he just nodded again. “Okay, I’ll just…be going now.” Heading for the door, she suddenly couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough. When she opened the door, she looked back over her shoulder, giving him a small smile. “Bye.” He didn’t smile back, nor did he answer.
After Buffy had left, closing the door quietly behind her, Spike leaned back against the couch with a sigh. He realized that he’d been rude to her, but he just didn’t know how to act around her anymore. A part of him wanted to hug her close and beg her not to leave him again, another part told him to just stay as far away from her as possible, to keep from getting hurt again.
Now he looked at the letter she’d given him, wondering what it could contain, certain that whatever it was, it couldn’t be of the good. She’d told him to read it after she’d left, that meant that she didn’t want to be there to witness his reaction when he read it. That, or she was just embarrassed. Maybe she just wanted to tell him that she was sorry about Drusilla. After all, that was the reason she’d called him in the first place, right?
He should just read it, see what it said. Then he could decide if he should go talk to her again or not. He wanted to see her again. But he wasn’t sure that letting Buffy back into his life would be such a good idea. She’d hurt him before, and she still had the ability to do it again. Not to mention the fact that he was still mad at her, though maybe not as much as he wanted to be. Sometimes he wished that he could just hate her, then everything would be so much easier.
But the problem was; he couldn’t hate her, he loved her too much. All the time he’d been with Drusilla, no matter how hard he’d tried not to, he couldn’t stop thinking of Buffy, wishing that things had been different. But there was no point in thinking like that anymore. Buffy didn’t, nor had she ever, felt the same way about him. Sighing again, he opened the letter and started reading.
TBC