Chapter 9
Buffy was confused when she woke up, until she looked next to her and saw Spike still asleep. It was then that the previous day came back to her.
“Oh god,” she gasped, quickly getting out of bed and searching for her clothes on the floor. She finished getting dressed, just as he started to wake up.
“Buffy, what are you doing?”
She shook her head. “I have to get back. I didn’t even call to say I would be out all night.”
He sat up, running his fingers through his tousled hair. “Joyce knows you were over here. It’s still early; you don’t have to leave yet.”
“I have to leave, Will. This…This was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”
Spike threw the covers off of the bed, grabbing his jeans and putting them on. “So, is that it then? You just pretend that nothing happened? Well, I’m not about to forget this. Things changed with us last night, you can’t deny that.”
Buffy took a deep breath to try and calm herself. “You were upset; I just wanted to make you feel better. I wasn’t thinking clearly, but this can’t happen again. I’m engaged to be married, Spike. I cheated on my fiancé; there is nothing okay about that. I have to go.” She was about to walk away, but he shot out of bed and stopped her.
“He’s not good enough for you. I can feel it, Buffy. I don’t have to meet the bloke to know that he’s not the one you’re meant to be with. We shared something special last night. You can deny it all you want, but things are different now. You can’t go back from this.”
Tears fell from her eyes, knowing that she was about to lose one of her best friends. “I’m sorry, I have to go home.”
Spike nodded and figured there was no point arguing with her. “Fine, we’ll talk later. This isn’t over.”
“No, you’re not understanding me. I’m going back home to Los Angeles. I’ll be taking the bus later tonight. That’s where I belong, with my parents and the man I love. Getting to know Joyce and you again has been great, but my life is there.”
Spike wouldn’t believe that. “You don’t belong with him. Please, just stay a little longer. We can talk about this. I just got you back; I can’t let you go now. I love you, Buffy. I’ve always loved you. I know that you love me, too. You’re just confused right now, but you can’t tell me that he’s willing to give you everything you deserve. He will never love you as much as I do,” he finally admitted, pleading with her to stay.
Buffy cupped his cheek as more tears fell from her eyes at his declaration. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Goodbye, William,” she whispered, then made her way out of his room and didn’t look back.
Spike stood in the same spot and watched the love of his life walk away from him. He didn’t think it was possible for anything to hurt worse than losing his mother.
* * * * *
“I wish you could stay longer.”
Buffy nodded and gave Joyce a hug. “I wish I could, too, but I really should be getting back. Thank you so much for letting me stay with you.”
Joyce pulled out of the embrace after a moment. “It was no trouble at all. I hope you’ll keep in touch, and you always have a place here if you ever feel like visiting.”
Buffy smiled. “I’ll definitely take you up on that.”
“You’re leaving?” a small voice said.
Buffy turned to see both of her sisters standing behind her. “Yeah, but I promise I’ll come see you guys again,” she stated and wrapped her arms around Sam, then did the same with Dawn.
“It’s cool to finally have an older sister.”
Buffy stroked the girl’s long hair. “It’s just cool to finally have sisters. Being an only child is really not exciting.”
Connor entered the kitchen, raising his eyebrows. “I don’t have to hug, right? That’s a girl thing.”
Buffy wouldn’t accept that and pulled the boy into her arms. “I can tell you’re going to be lots of fun when you get older.”
He shrugged and pulled away. “I’m a teenager; we’re not much for mushy displays.”
“What would you call making out with your girlfriend? Talk about disgusting,” Dawn said with distaste.
Connor scowled. “You’re not supposed to be watching us.”
Dawn shrugged this time. “There was nothing good on TV.”
Buffy smiled at the banter between brother and sister. She would really miss them.
“All ready to go?” Hank asked once he walked into the kitchen, putting the argument on hold.
Buffy nodded and after giving Joyce one more hug, left the house with Hank. She got into his car and gazed out the window when he pulled out of the driveway. She glanced up at Spike’s house to see that all of his lights were off. She hated having to end things with him the way she did, but didn’t see any other options. Buffy just didn’t feel the same way about him, or so she told herself. It was better this way, no matter how much it pained her to leave him.
* * * * *
The next week went by very slowly for Spike. He dealt with his mother’s funeral and lots of drinking. It would have meant a lot if Buffy could have been at the funeral, but she just wanted to get away from him. Spike couldn’t believe how much he screwed things up with her, so settled on drinking his troubles away. It managed to work, for a little while at least.
“Hey, baby, you look a little sad. Anything I can help with?”
Spike turned unfocused eyes on the woman that was sitting in the stool next to him. “Yeah, you can make this huge ache in my heart disappear.”
She licked her lips. “I don’t know about that, but you look like you could use some fun. Why don’t we go back to my place? I can show you a real good time.”
Spike was desperate and drunk enough to take her up on her offer, but a new voice stopped him.
“Please, do those lines actually work? Take a hike, bitch. This one is mine,” Faith claimed.
The woman held up her hands and walked away, not wanting any trouble.
Faith then sat down in the stool that she was in, needing to knock some sense into her heartbroken friend. “Dude, are you completely out of it? That was a whore you were about to go home with.”
Spike shrugged, taking another sip of his Bourbon. “Nothing matters anymore.”
“Okay, that does it. I can’t take much more of this depressed shit. Come on, we’re getting out of here.” She grabbed his arm, pulling him off of the stool and away from the bar.
Spike yanked his arm out of her grasp once they got outside. “Sod off, this doesn’t concern you.”
“Don’t pull that with me, Spike. If Buffy leaving is making you so miserable, then why don’t you go after her? It would be better than coming here to drink yourself into a coma.”
He shook his head. “She made it clear of where we stand. She’s engaged to a sodding wanker, nothing I do can change that. I would just be making a fool of myself if I went after her.”
“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but maybe love is worth it. If you don’t believe that she’s with the right guy, then prove it to her. Girls love romantic shit like that. If I find you in this hellhole one more time, I’ll be forced to kick your ass. Go after her, Spike. We both know that’s what you wanna do. If it still doesn’t work out, then at least you tried. Just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t doing any good.”
Spike knew that she was right, even if Buffy turned him down again. He was going crazy without her. “Did I ever say how much I love you?”
Faith waved her hand in the air. “You can say it all you want. Doesn’t mean you’re getting into my pants, buddy. That’s reserved for only one man now,” she said teasingly.
Spike smiled, the first real one since Buffy walked out of his life. “Charlie’s one lucky man. Thanks for the chat, Faith. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get out of here. I have a girl to see.”