Buffy had her arms folded on her knees and her head down, her long blonde hair spilling over onto the bright neon colors of the blanket.
He walked slowly over to her. "Hey," he sat down next to her. "What happened?"
She raised her head and he saw that her eyes were red and swollen and her face was blotchy with tears but the crying had stopped. "Spike happened. Well, Spike and Dru happened." Her mouth twisted. "Bad things happened."
He leaned over to her and hugged her and the afghan fell away from her bare leg revealing a huge bruise forming on her shin. "Buffy, did Spike do that?" He asked in alarm.
"What? No." Buffy said. "I'm an idiot. I ran out of there so fast I wasn't watching where I was going and I ran into something. No, Spike just ripped out my heart and stomped all over it."
"Buffy, again I gotta ask...what happened?" Xander asked.
She rubbed at her eyes wearily. "I had to go there. I had papers. I-" her voice was so low he could barely make out what she was saying and what he could hear wasn't clearing things up much. "I walked in on them, Xan."
"Walked in on who? Walked- wait- Spike and Dru?" His voice rose. "Buffy, Dru hasn't been around for years. Are you sure?"
She laughed harshly. "I couldn't be more sure, Xander. You don't get surer than this. He was all naked and touching and...naked and she was all naked and hugging and there were hands all over…I can't talk about it. Just know that I am really sure."
Xander rubbed her back. "Buffy, I don't like Spike much, but I just can't picture that."
She pulled away from him. "Well, I don't like Spike much either right now! But I can picture it really well because I just saw it!"
"Wow, Spike and Dru." Xander boggled. "Dru. How could he go for that again now after what she put him through the first time?"
"Yeah, that's what I'm asking!" Buffy sighed. "I don't know, maybe it's the whole first love thing. Maybe you just never get over your first love."
"Hey, I barely remember the girl who used to beat me up and take my lunch money in the sixth grade." Xander said, trying to coax out a smile.
He got a lopsided one.
"He loved her for so long, Xan. He spent five years of his life with her." Buffy said dully.
"Yeah and the last what, two and a half were sheer hell?" Xander shook his head. "Buffy, she was like a vampire, sucking the life out of him. Again, with the obligatory disclaimer that I don't like Spike, I still gotta say I can't believe it. Man, she took everything he had. He was like a hollow hulk of a Spike there for awhile before you and Dawn took him over. I mean that night he found her on the floor, thought she was dead, even I felt sorry for the poor guy."
"Ok, well we're not all with the feeling sorry for Spike right now, Xander." Buffy complained. "Remember? Cheating bastard?"
"Oh, right, right, cheating bastard." Xander said hastily. "We hate Spike. I can do that. Can I be president of the club though, Buff? Because I hated him first. It's only fair. Also, I've never gotten to be President before. I've been Treasurer, but that wasn't nearly as-"
"Xander! Focus! We can decide on the rules and regulations and what the dues will be later!" Buffy said, so irritated it momentarily snapped her out of her mood. She thwapped him in the forehead.
"Sorry, Buffy."
"Xan, can I stay here for the weekend? Please?" Buffy asked. "I can't go home. He'll look for me there. He'll look for me at Willow and Tara's. Oz is out of town again and Faith…ok, I just don't want to stay with Faith."
He brushed a long piece of hair out of her eyes. "Sure, Buffy, you can stay as long as you want. Mi casa es su casa, you know that. Anytime." He frowned. "He'll look for you here, too, you know."
Buffy gave him an almost grin. "Yeah, but you'll lie better than Willow would!"
He laughed. "Yeah sure, lying to Spike. Got it covered. Not a problem." He paused. "What about Dawn, though. You going to tell her where you are?"
Buffy made a face. "No. I can't. She'd tell Spike in a heartbeat. She'll be in class in an hour. I'm just going to leave a message on her cell that I'm ok and spending the weekend out of town."
"You sure you don't want to spend the weekend at the beach or something? I mean, my place is luxurious sure," he waved a hand at his living room, "but it's not a relaxing getaway."
"I'm sure. Going away would require driving - don't say it -" Buffy cut him off before he could start, "and finding a place that isn't booked and interacting with strangers and trying to look like I'm not a basket case. I want to stay here and mope on your couch in peace. Besides," she continued, "a hotel doesn't have warm fuzzies like your place does."
Xander laughed. "Yeah, warm fuzzies that blind you!" He waggled a corner of the afghan at her. "I could drive you if that's the problem…"
"No, I want to stay here." Buffy said. "If it's ok, then I want to stay here."
He hugged her again. "Car keys?"
Her face scrunched up, "Car keys?"
"Yeah, if we're gonna do this subterfuge thing I'd better go move your car to a less conspicuous place," he said. "Right now it screams, 'Buffy's hiding RIGHT HERE, c'mon in!'
She actually giggled, then sobered and said warmly, "Thanks Xander. You can always make me laugh. They're on the hall table."
"I try, Buffster, I try. Now, what's on the Buffy menu for this weekend?"
"Come again?"
"There's a serious shortage of Buffy-approved foodstuffs in my kitchen at the moment and somehow I doubt you can subsist on cheetos and oreo goodness. I'm going to hit the grocery store after I move the car."
"You don't have to do that, I can-" she said.
"What, go out in public and blow your cover? Nah, no big deal. I needed to go out and get some hot pizza to make into cold pizza for breakfast tomorrow anyway. Hey!" He snapped his fingers, "One pineapple and ham pizza coming up. Plus the everything meat special for me and we have ourselves a good sulking party. And-" he raised a finger, "as I said before, it's also a protein and grease laden breakfast food so it's all good."
"Pizza sounds good, Xan. Not that hungry, but I'll have a slice if you get it." She looked down at her fingers, twisting them in the afghan, "Hey, will Anya have a problem with me staying here?"
"Nah." Xander replied. "Plus she's out of town at some New Age merchants' convention. She ran up to L.A."
Buffy stood up and headed to the bathroom. "Ok, good. I wouldn't want to cause any problems or get in the way. I'm going to take a shower while you're out and steal some sweats or something."
Xander bowed, "Mi sweats es su sweats. Back soon."
Buffy stood still, forehead resting against the shower wall, hoping the spray of the shower would soothe away some of her tension. 'Spike and Dru,' she thought again sadly, closing her eyes. With Xander's exit, the meager amount of warmth in the vicinity had abruptly departed. She turned the dial hotter hoping to dispel the chill eating away at her. She hoped Xander would hurry back.
"That bastard!" Spike swore. "He told me he hadn't seen you."
"Well, yeeaaah." Buffy said. "What part of, I asked him to lie, did you not get?"
"Yeah, but he's known me for years too." Spike said.
"And most of those years you referred to him as "whelp". Who's he going to help?" Buffy laughed.
"He called me Dead Boy." Spike grumbled.
"Blame your delicate English complexion for that." Buffy yawned.
"You're tired, pet. I'll go. We can talk more tomorrow, yeah?" Spike started to get up.
"Wait." Buffy tugged at his arm. "Would you…would you stay?" Her eyes were big and dark in the dim light. She continued hurriedly, "just to sleep. Just to hold me. We'll do the rest of the fighting tomorrow. There's still more to talk about," Spike cringed a little at the return of that fiery glint in her eyes, "but for now could you just stay?"
He kissed the top of her head and got up. She looked up at him, stricken. He ran his hand over her hair lightly, "Have to go tell the Bit to stand down. Get dressed for bed and I'll be back in a minute."
She looked dazed, like an exhausted child, the night's stresses having caught up with her and she nodded.
She was already asleep when he returned. He slid under the covers behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She stirred, "Missed you," she murmured.
"I missed you too, luv." Spike closed his eyes.