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Author's Chapter Notes:
I've kept the NC17 warning, cause i don't want anyone to misunderstand, but this chapter is milder
Xander looked up from the kitchen. It was always the same: Spike meets girl, Spike loves girl way too fast, Spike loses girl, Spike gets drunk and then some. That was a known pattern. But Dru had changed that. Xander hated Dru with a passion. He knew she was dangerous but couldn’t prove it, either to himself or Spike. He’d learnt to keep his mouth closed on that subject. The one time he’d spoken out Spike had hit him, he was sorry afterwards but it had caused a strain on their friendship for quite a while. Now maybe it would be over, until she phoned again, until she called Spike to be a good puppy and come and play. But Xander hoped this was the last time he had to pick up William from a hospital and nurse him through a night.

Poor Spike, the women in his life were always after too much from him, or not enough. Unlike Xander, Spike looked like a Greek God when he took off his shirt; Adonis himself would have been insecure. The abs were chiselled and Xander enjoyed the view. And that was the problem: not that he enjoyed the view but that was all that some people saw. A statue carved from alabaster, and like alabaster, light shone out of him. The weird and the wonderful were attracted to Spike like moths to a flame. But all they could see was the beautiful body. Women used him for sex, very few realised the sharp mind and keen wit hidden behind the facade.

Xander thought back to how they’d met. They had been friends since high school when Spike at 5’10” had protected Xander at 6’2” from a beating because the local jocks had discovered that Xander was gay. Having a number of black belts in various martial arts let Spike choose friends where he would, with little thought to others’ views. He wasn’t a man who listened to gossip or let others lead him, and for that Xander was grateful. They had been friends, nothing more. Spike was as straight as they came. It was funny really when you thought about it, Spike with the acting and poetry (he could quote Shakespeare or Victorian poetry drunk or sober) was straight and Xander, the construction worker who went to night school to become an architect, was gay. But they both enjoyed soccer, football, soccer, the argument continued about what to call the damn game. They both enjoyed pool and they both enjoyed a drink. And hey, both valued their friendship.

‘Feeling better?’ Xander smirked. He took one look at Spike’s pale face and grinned. ‘Come on dead-boy, let me fix you breakfast.’

‘Watch it, whelp,’ answered Spike, ‘I can still kick your ass.’

‘Oooh, yes please!’ Xander blew him a kiss and Spike burst out laughing. It was an old game between them.

‘I said kick, not kiss.’

‘Ah, shucks. Hey, are you out tonight?’ asked Xander. ‘Only I’ve got this lovely man coming over and I’d quite like the place to ourselves.’

‘Yeh, no problem, I’ve got a shift at the Sound Machine tonight but now I’ve got to get ready for a casting of the new production of ‘Much Ado About Nothing’. They want me to read the part of Benedict, and I’d love it, the part is so rich…’ He tailed off mainly due to the look on Xander’s face.

‘Great, shit, look at the time, I’m going to be late for work. I’ll see ya later then, bye.’ Anything to escape the lecture on Shakespeare. Xander vanished out of the small two-roomed apartment they shared in California. Spike managed to down some coffee without throwing it back up and when the caffeine had hit, felt so much better. He got ready and headed off to work.

It was late when Spike finally crawled into bed. The audition had gone reasonably well and they had called him back for a second reading, but he was so insecure about himself. He never felt that he was good enough. His F- head of a father had beaten into his son how worthless he was and it always stuck. There was always that edge of little boy lost about him, and it went deep. Spike, William always missed his mom, she’d died when he was fourteen and his Dad had never really stepped up to the duties of a father. Spike could really do with someone to talk to tonight but Xander had already hit the sack, so Spike had got himself a beer and headed for bed.

It was the bright sunshine in his eyes that woke William Atherton up but when he looked around he wasn’t in his dingy basement apartment, but what looked like a doctor’s waiting room.

‘Mr. Atherton?’ Spike looked up to see the same man he’d dreamt about walking towards him. ‘My name is Rupert Giles: do you remember me?’
Spike nodded.

‘I understood that you wanted some help and guidance with your life?’

‘What is this place?’

‘All in good time, I’ll answer as many of your questions as I can.’

Rupert Giles led the way into a small but comfortable library. Spike started looking at the books automatically. There were hundreds, and what looked like first editions: poetry, Shakespeare, plays, Wilde, Plato, almost any author Spike could think of… it was heaven. Then it struck him.

‘Am I dead? Did I die in the night and come up to somewhere?’

‘No, you’re not dead, although I suppose technically I am, and this is a sort of halfway house between your world and the next, a place to take stock of things, a place where the only things that can hurt you are the ones you bring with you. Now you wanted help and I’m here to offer it, but there is a price and I think we should discuss that first.

‘We will help you become all that you could be, help you control the drink and the drugs, give you someone to talk to who really will be on your side, but we need your silence. No discussing weird dreams with everyone. You will know whom to trust with this part of your life but we don’t want you to face ridicule and worse if you tell the wrong person. And there are rules. No suicide to get back here, it doesn’t work that way, and respect others whilst you’re here, and no looking for those in your family who have died. They are around, but the pain of seeing them would only open up old wounds and start the grieving all over again.’

‘Would you be doing the helping?’ Asked Spike.

‘No, I will ‘oversee’, if you like, your care, but I have a wonderful lady who is far more able than I in getting you to where you want to be.
If you agree to our terms I will introduce you, until then feel free to wander around. There are some lovely gardens, and some classes going on, just be aware some here are dead but don’t know it, so please be careful.’

‘What will this cost me?’

‘Not much: just when you are in a position to help others, please do so. Now and for the rest of your life, go out of your way to help when you can. It becomes habit after a while,’ Giles added.

‘Now please feel free to look around. Ask anyone if you need me, most people here know where to find me.’ He led Spike out of the main doors.

‘Man, this is one weird dream,’ Spike said to himself as he wandered around the magnificent gardens. He could hear the sounds of a martial arts class in progress and followed the noise to a wide, open lawn. The dappled shade offered refuge to small groups of what looked like college students sitting, talking, reading, but in the centre was a class of young people practising Karate. The Shensun seemed to be watching them all as he put them through their paces… a woman approached William as he watched. The sunlight shone through her hair and William thought she looked like an angel.

‘It’s useful exercise when the body has been stuck in a hospital bed for months or years. We build up the exercise gradually, allowing them to realise that they are no longer sick, then they ask us if they are dead and we can continue the guidance. I’m Buffy, I work here occasionally.’

‘Spike, William, it seems like I’m visiting.’

‘We get visitors sometimes, it is a lovely peaceful place when the mind is in chaos, allows one to think things through without any outside pressures. Do you fancy a coffee?’

‘They have caffeine in heaven? I’m going to love it here.’

‘I don’t know about heaven, I’ve never been there, but we have coffee, chocolate and beer, you know: the staple food groups.’

Spike burst out laughing and followed the pretty petite blond as she led the way back into the building.





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