[Reviews - 257]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 4565 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Yes, I know, it's another update! But my muse just wouldn't stop! And I'm already working on the next chapter! So hopefully that one will be out here pretty soon too. And thanks for the all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. Enjoy!
Buffy quietly got up out of bed to go the bathroom. And that’s when she heard it.

Cecily had been actually showing Spike some attention tonight and as much Buffy hated to admit it, he looked pleased by it. Buffy had carefully hidden her jealousy while the whole time she’d wanted to scream, “He’s MINE, stay AWAY!”

But she didn’t. She’d sat there, and let Cecily pretend to be interested in her school work, and the things that were going on in her life. She’s sat there silently fuming while Cecily doted on Spike, pretending to care. She knew she didn’t. She just wanted some attention.

So Buffy when heard the noise, she walked over to the door and saw that it was opened a crack. She peeked in, hoping she wouldn’t find what she knew she would.

And there they were. Having sex. Spike was on top of her thrusting in with abandon. And he looked like he was enjoying it.

Buffy felt like going in there and ripping them apart. Staking her claim. But she couldn’t.

Because he wasn’t really hers. He was borrowed.

So Buffy trudged back to her room. She looked at her bed, but knew she couldn’t stand to stay here while they were off in the next room. She just couldn’t.

So Buffy grabbed some jeans, pulled a shirt over her head, grabbed her coat, keys and left. She didn’t know where she was going. She just knew she had to leave.

Buffy walked around the darkened streets of Sunnydale, her head down. When she neared the cemetery she went in without thinking. She sat down in the middle of her mother’s and Giles’s graves. She hadn’t been at the cemetery since the funeral.

“Hi mommy, hi Giles. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve been here and I’m sorry for that. I’d say I’d been busy, but really, I’ve just been trying to forget.” Buffy sighed. “I’m so confused. I know you probably wouldn’t approve, but… there’s this thing, with Spike. And I think I’ve got feelings for him. I didn’t want to feel this way, but I just wanted to forget ya know? I feel so different. And he makes me feel wanted and special. He makes me feel like a woman. Is that so bad? But he’s still married. And that’s where he is right now. With HER. And I can’t stand her mommy, she’s so mean to him. And then when she does pay attention to her, he acts like her little puppy. I don’t understand. I know I could be so much better for him. I could be everything for him that she is.”

Buffy pulled a couple strands of grass out of the ground and started to tear them to shreds. “I guess it’s my fault huh? What did you always say Giles? I made my bed now I have to lie in it.” Buffy stood up. “Good bye. I love you.”

Buffy turned and left, but she didn’t head back to the apartment. She couldn’t go back there. Instead she headed over to Faith’s. The only person who would understand.

When Faith opened the door and saw Buffy standing there with tears in her eyes, she motioned her in without asking. She knew Buffy would talk when she was ready. And it was only after a couple shots of Faith’s secret stash that Buffy was ready to talk.

“He was having sex. With her.” Buffy made a face.

Faith sighed. She knew this was going to happen sooner or later. “Buffy, he’s a married man. And your guardian. You knew he was married when you had sex with him. And let me guess, you made the first move?”

Buffy nodded.

“He probably wouldn’t have done anything if you wouldn’t have.”

And Buffy knew that was true.

“Do you care about him?” Faith asked. She knew the answer before she even asked it, but she needed Buffy to say it herself.

“Yes.”

Faith sighed. “He’s not the happy ending kind of guy B. He’s the wham bam thank you ma’am kind of guy. The one to scratch your itch. You’re not going to ride off into the sunset. He’s not the white picket fence and two point five kids B.”

“Okay I get it,” Buffy said irritably. “We’re not gonna live happily ever after.”

“Do you? I mean really?” Faith’s voice softened. “I know you care about him. So take what you can get now, even if it’s not what you want. Because a little bit is better than nothing.”

Buffy nodded. “Can I have some more to drink?”

Faith laughed. “Of course. As long as you’re stayin’ here.”

“I’m definitely not going home.”

* * *

Buffy knew she was going to be in trouble when she got home, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care that much. She had a massive hangover, and the sun was beating down brightly on her overly sensitive eyes.

Her and Faith had spend the night drinking, and had slept most of the day away, skipping school. Which really wasn’t a good idea, since she’d already missed so much school this year. They’d even left Faith’s phone off the hook so no one could get a hold of them. She knew Spike would be furious when she got home.

Buffy walked in the door, and as soon as she’d shut the door behind her, Buffy was whirled around and smashed against it.

“Where the bloody hell have you been??!!” Spike had a hold of her arms, and she could see that he’d been worried. He had no hair gel in, his eyes were blood shot, and she could see a physical path in the carpet where he’d been pacing.

“Around,” Buffy answered nonchalantly. She pushed his arms off her and made a move to head for her room. But Spike grabbed her and twisted her so she was facing him.

“No don’t give me that bloody shit.” Spike sniffed at her. “You’ve been drinkin’. You smell like a fuckin’ brewery.”

“Do not!” Buffy said petulantly. But she knew she probably didn’t smell very good. Whatever they’d been drinking had gotten spilled all over her jeans after she’d not so coordinately fell off the couch. Which at the time had been hilarious.

“Don’t start the with me Buffy, now where were you?”

“Oh don’t pretend to care.” Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, and jerked her arm out of his grasp. “I saw you. As soon as she pays you the tiniest bit of attention, you’re her lap dog. It’s pathetic. When mommy calls, puppy comes running.”

“You’re jealous,” Spike said disbelievingly.

Buffy huffed. “Whatever.” She dodged past him and ran to her room, slamming the door behind you.

Spike couldn’t believe it. She’d been jealous of just seeing Cecily flirting with him. Spike sighed. Cecily had been attentive and considerate. For the first time in a long time she’d actually seemed to care. She’d come onto him, wanted him. And Spike didn’t turn her down.

Spike hoped she hadn’t known about that, but somehow knew she did.





You must login (register) to review.