“Ok, what’s with the homeless look, Buffy?” Cordelia asked sarcastically, even though there was a smile on her face, as she sat down at the table with a loud clank from the lunch tray. With a look of total disdain and shock, she glanced over Buffy’s holey jeans and T-shirt combo one more time before asking, “You are aware that you look like poop warmed over, right?”
“Yes, and thanks for the confidence boost, Cordy.” Buffy replied, idly pushing a French fry through a puddle of ketchup. “I overslept. Mom erupted on me last night and I didn’t feel like spending more time at home than I had to this morning.”
“So whatdya do to get Joyce’s undies all in a tizzy?”
“Really don’t wanna get into right now. Let’s just say that I am seriously grounded and shouldn’t plan on having any fun for a very long time.” Buffy paused long enough to finally pop the ketchup drenched fry into her mouth. “Obviously changing the subject…how was the pageant? You didn’t call me last night like you were supposed to.”
“I won, of course. Next step…Miss Teen California pageant in the spring. As for calling you, while my night was nowhere as exciting as yours, we had our fair share of fun at Chase manor...Spike moved out.” Cordelia missed the sudden peak of interest in her best friend’s eyes at the mention of her mother’s former live in lover’s name; too busy tossing flirtatious glances across the lunchroom to where the football players were sitting.
“He…uh…moved out? Why?” Buffy managed to choke out, trying her best to act nonchalant.
“Dunno, really. Got bored listening to them arguing after a while and went to my room. Mom totally spent a fortune on my new wardrobe for this year! You so have to come by and check it out.” She paused to take a sip of her sparkling water before continuing after getting a glare from Buffy. “Oh, right…Momma Drama. Anyway, long story short, Spike called it quits, Mom cried, Spike moved out”
“Oh, um…but why would he leave your mom, didn’t they get along?”
“Never really saw much of each other, really; between her work and his class schedule.” Cordelia nibbled on her bottom lip for a minute, lost in thought. “He went back to LA, maybe he has someone there? Mom was really upset, but honestly…I think it had more to do with him having the nerve to leave her than the actual breaking up. You know how fragile her ego can be.”
‘Spike’s gone. He really left me.’ Buffy thought miserably. Suddenly overcome with nausea, Buffy realized that the meager lunch she had managed to consume threatened to make a repeat performance. Pushing away from the table, she gave an apologetic look to her very much confused best friend before darting out of the lunch room. Blindly, she ran through the hallways and managed to keep the tears burning in her eyes at bay until she was safely tucked inside a stall in the women’s bathroom. It was only then, that Buffy sank to the floor and let her emotions consume her.
~*~*~*~*~
The remainder of the day passed in a blur; teachers faces were hazy and their lessons already forgotten. When the final bell rang, Buffy nearly catapulted out of her desk, ready to go home and bury her sorrows in a pint of chocolate ice cream. Walking towards her locker, a loud groan of disappointment escaped her mouth when she spotted Cordelia literally bouncing down the hallway. Cheerleading practice! How could she have forgotten? Now, it would be at least another two hours before she could escape to the sanctuary that is her bedroom.
“Hey, Buff! You feel any better?” Cordelia asked as she bounced to a stop beside Buffy. “It wasn’t the school food was it? Cuz’ that’s like way gross. I am so glad that my nutritionist makes sure I don’t have to put any of that slime they try to pass of as food into my mouth. Gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about eating mystery meat!” Finally, she stopped her mindless drabble when she realized that Buffy had yet to respond and was staring at her blankly. “Oh…not so much the food, huh? So, you ever gonna tell me what happened with your Mom?”
“Someday.” Buffy muttered, stuffing the books she needed for her homework into her backpack. How could she tell her best friend what had actually happened? Telling Cordelia would only shatter their trust and ruin their friendship, but would lying be any better? Taking a deep breath, Buffy did the only thing she could think of, omit the truth. That wasn’t exactly lying, was it? “It’s just that she was drinking and said some stuff that really hurt. I’m not totally done processing all of it, yet.”
“You know you can always talk to me, right? It’s been a while, but I still know what it feels like when your Mom acts like that.” Cordelia waited for Buffy to nod before leaning in to give her a hug. “Ok, therapy time is over…time for practice!” She exclaimed, shutting Buffy’s locker and looping her arm through her friend’s to escort her towards the gymnasium.
~*~*~*~*~
After two and a half grueling hours, Buffy’s legs and arms felt like a bowl of jelly from practice. She was officially tired of doing back tucks, straddles and any other type of punishing acrobats for the remainder of the day. Lugging her backpack and cheerleading bag over her shoulders, she headed out of the gym and began the arduous walk home since Cordelia had a “study date”.
By the time she had made it three blocks from Sunnydale High School, Buffy was barely shuffling along at a snail’s pace. Thankfully, that was the precise moment that Xander came to her rescue in his beat up truck.
“Hey there, pretty lady!” He exclaimed, coming to a stop where she had given up and tossed her bags onto the sidewalk in a heap. “Need a lift?”
“Need a stretcher, is more like it! I totally slacked on training over the summer and laid around like a couch potato. Two hours of practice and I think I might croak.” Buffy groaned, tossing her bags in the bed of the two toned truck before climbing into the cab. “You’re my hero.”
“Hey, that’s what I’m here for…always handy for the rescuing of damsels in distress.” Xander joked. “So, what happened the other night at the Bronze? You flew out of their like your butt was on fire!”
“I had the extreme pleasure of catching my somewhat boyfriend in a major lip lock with some ho-bag. Didn’t really feel like staying around after that. I’m sorry for bugging out of there so soon, but…hey! How did things go with um…what’s her name?”
“She’d be Anya and things are very much of the good if you know what I mean.” Xander answered with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. When met with Buffy’s knowing and sarcastic gaze, he muttered, “What? Could’ve gotten lucky if I wasn’t all gentleman-like.”
Smiling, Buffy reached across the cab to pat Xander on the arm, sympathetically. “Of course you could have, Xan.” Her comment received more grumbling from Xander. “See if I bring you pizza after work tonight.”
“Oh no! Not that! I take it all back, Xan! Forgive me, please and shower me with yummy cheesy goodness, pretty puh-lease!” Buffy begged, bouncing up and down on the seat.
“Fine, but only because you asked nicely.” He relented, pulling the truck into Buffy’s driveway. “I’ll bring it by around seven, ok?”
“Cool! See you later and thanks for the ride, Xan!” Buffy shouted as she jumped out of the cab and grabbed her bags from the back. With a final wave, she disappeared into the house.
“Buffy?” Joyce called from the kitchen, “Can you come in here, please?”
Tossing her bags onto the floor in the foyer, Buffy put on her brave-face and headed towards the back of the house to the kitchen. She hadn’t seen her mother since last night when they argued, having managed to sneak out of the house before she had woken up this morning, and needless to say, Buffy was nervous. Poking her head into the room, Buffy asked, “What’s up?”
“I just thought we needed to talk… um, last night.” Joyce said sheepishly as she wringed a dishtowel with her hands. Her nervousness seemed to start to evaporate when Buffy crawled onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “You hungry?”
“Nope, but thanks. Xan said he’d bring a pizza when he gets off work; don’t want to ruin my appetite.” Buffy squirmed in her seat and noticed two used coffee mugs on the counter next to her. “What’s up with those? Have company?”
“Huh? Oh…those, um…Barb came over. You know, the lady from the book club I joined?” Hastily, Joyce grabbed the cups and shoved them into the sink before turning back to her daughter. “Honey, I just want to apologize for the way I handled things last night. You didn’t deserve that.”
“It’s ok, really. I messed up and you got mad. It’s understandable.”
“No, sweetie, the way I overacted was just unacceptable. I said some pretty mean things that were way out of line and I hope you can forgive me.” Joyce walked around the side of the kitchen island and stood next to Buffy. “Please?” She asked, opening her arms for a hug; which Buffy gratefully accepted.
“Course I forgive you, I mean, you’re my Mom.” Buffy sniffled and buried her head against her mother’s chest. “I really am sorry for doing what I did.”
“I guess I just have to accept that my little girl is growing up.” Joyce pulled back and looked down at her daughter’s tear streaked face. “You two were…um…careful, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Buffy managed to choke out as she pulled away from Joyce. She sniffled once more and wiped at her eyes.
“Sweetie, I know things seem pretty dreary right now, but over time it’ll get better. I promise.” Tucking a strand of hair behind Buffy’s ear, she said, “There were just too many years between the two of you. Seven years holds a great deal of growing up in them.”
“How’d you know he was that much older than me?” Buffy asked, curiously.
“I…um…guess you must have mentioned it yesterday, honey. How else would I have known?” Busying herself with the dishes, Joyce kept her back turned away from Buffy for a minute while she put away the clean bowls.
“Yeah, ok…maybe I did. Um, I’ve got some homework to do before dinner.” Easing off the barstool, she headed for the door. Just before leaving, she turned back to her mother and said, “Maybe we can watch a movie when the pizza gets here?”
“Sure, sweetie, “Joyce replied, “I’ll call you when Xander gets here and remember-time heals all wounds.”
~*~*~*~*~
And it did. Get better, that is. Eventually, she no longer cried herself to sleep at night or had trouble getting out of bed to face the day. Breathing became easier and the searing pain of her broken heart slowly began to melt away into a dull ache every now and again. Her perpetual frown grew into a shining smile and spending time with her friends no longer caused the heartache of not being with Spike.
Months passed, football season was over, and taking with it the holidays that Buffy loved so much. The momentous occasion that was her eighteenth birthday came and went, complete with a surprise party and a mountain of gifts. Finally a young woman, her sorrows from the previous year was tucked away into the deepest corner of her heart, just as she had taken their only picture from their one and only date and hidden it in the very back of her closet in a memory box her grandmother had given her as a child. Out of sight and out of mind, all memories and keepsakes of her short lived romance were stowed away.
Over the time that she had allowed herself to heal, she spent a great deal of time with a friend from school. It had started out innocent, with quiet walks home, hesitant kisses on the cheeks and timid hand holding. By the time that graduation rolled around, the fledgling relationship with Scott Hope had developed into something more; but still, Buffy guarded her heart, soul and body. When the summer ended and they parted ways to go to their respective colleges, the relationship ended as well.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Ok, so I decided not to draw out the time spent without Spike. Call me selfish, but I just don't care all that much when he's not part of the main storyline and I am pretty much figure you guys feel the same way. So, I scooted it along. Spike's whereabouts are mentioned but he doesn't make any appearance. Saying what he is doing now will only make things boring later, I think. Hope that's ok. He'll be back in the next chapter. It does move ahead by 2 years and I really hope that it isn't overly predicatable for you guys. Enough about that since it hasn't even been put out yet. Thanks so much for all of the reviews! They mean the world to me.