“Buffy! What a surprise, sweetie,” Joyce Summers gushed as she pulled her daughter tightly against her chest in a heartfelt bear hug. While she was enormously proud of Buffy for earning a partial scholarship that allowed them to be able to afford a major university instead of community college, being alone in the house was still a difficult task to bear. “I wasn’t expecting you until closer to next weekend. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Mom.” Buffy mumbled against her mother’s chest, arms lying stiff next to her body. Pulling away, she swiped at her eyes which refused to stop watering and said, “We need to talk.”
“Oh, I know! We still have a lot to finish before the engagement party, not to mention planning what has turned out to be a not so little wedding in the spring.” Oblivious to Buffy’s watery eyes and sullen demeanor, Joyce walked over to the dining room table where a large cardboard box was perched. “The fabric samples we ordered for the bridesmaids dresses came in this morning. It really is beautiful.”
“I really don’t feel like discussing the wedding or party...or anything to do with the whole fiasco right now, Mom.” The tone of her voice finally grasped Joyce, who dropped the ice blue satin and turned to Buffy with worried eyes. “I came to talk about Spike.”
“What on earth brought him up? I thought you had finally moved past all that nonsense, Buffy.” Frowning, Joyce sat down at the head of the table and idly picked at the stitching on the tablecloth; a nervous habit that didn’t escape Buffy’s notice.
Plopping down into a chair next to Joyce, Buffy forced her mother to meet her stare and asked, “He told me to ask you...about him. It was all pretty cryptic, really. Said I wouldn’t believe him if he told me, that it had to come from you. What’s he talking about, Mom?”
“I was going to tell you, someday. It was just so hard for you to get over Spike and you were finally happy, sweetheart.” Reaching across the space between them, Joyce grasped her daughter’s hand and looked at her pleadingly. “Can’t you just let him go once and for all? Riley is such a wonderful young man and he loves you so much.”
“This has nothing to do with Riley!” Buffy yanked her hand out from beneath her mother’s, crossing her arms tightly across her chest in a protective manner. With a steely glare, she ground out, “What is he talking about. Just...tell...me, please.”
“He came by to see me while you were at school, it was your first day as a senior, and he felt that it would be better for the two of us to discuss what had...happened between the two of you, alone. I asked him to leave, Buffy. It was for your own good, don’t you see?”
“Why? What did he ever do to deserve that, Mom?” Pushing out of the chair, Buffy paced the room; fist clenched. Something clicked in the back of her mind, a memory of coffee mugs on the kitchen counter when she had gotten home from school. “He had just left, hadn’t he? God, Mom! All he did was love me; want to be with me. Was that so terrible?”
“Oh, right! Just like he loved Evangeline, too?” Joyce cried as an angry flush crept up her neck as she tried to control her anger. “He was too old for you and already in a relationship with someone very important to you. Did you honestly expect someone like him to stay with you? Of course not! He’s older and much more experienced, Spike would have just moved on to the next conquest when he got bored!” Exasperated with the conversation, Joyce threw up her hands. “I only did what was best for you.”
“It’s my life, Mom! It should have been my decision; to decide what’s best for me!” Hands on her hips, Buffy stood by the window and stared out at the children playing in the street, the elderly man from next door walking his dog, and wished she could be out there, happily avoiding this conversation. Taking a deep breath, she calmly asked, “Couldn’t you have just come to me? All of us could’ve sat down and tried to work out some type of situation?”
“I was saving you from heartache. I did what I thought was the best course of action for you at the time. If I had to do it over, Buffy...well, I wouldn’t change what I did.” Standing up, Joyce crossed the room and stood next to her daughter; tentatively reaching out and touching her forearm. “That day, while you were at school, Spike agreed to the terms I had set out for whatever relationship might have occurred between the two of you. He was to wait until you were eighteen, then we could go from there; but I didn’t want him dating my underage daughter.”
“But he didn’t even come back, Mom.” Eyes sparkling with unshed tears, Buffy turned to face her mom and whispered, “Why didn’t he want me?” Allowing her mom to pull her into a comforting hug, Buffy was shocked by what Joyce said next.
“He did want you, sweetie. He did.” Pulling back enough to look down into Buffy’s shimmering eyes, Joyce sighed deeply before spilling the secret that would surely break her daughter’s heart even more. “Spike came back on your birthday.”
Her birthday, the day she legally became a woman even though Spike had made her one long before that day. The day when she finally allowed her heart to heal, to recover from the despair and heartache she had suffered since he had left. The day she had accepted Scott Hope’s last minute date proposal; where they had attended the Winter Ball at the Bronze, where she had laughed and danced with abandon, finally content. Buffy’s shoulders slumped as the realization settled in. Spike had returned to her on the day she had truly set him free.
“Why didn’t he talk to me then?” Buffy asked quietly, her eyes clouded with pain and confusion as she stepped away from her mother. “Why just leave and not say anything to me at all?”
“Spike arrived shortly before you left for the dance, Buffy.” Joyce admitted painfully, knowing that the trust between her and Buffy would be brittle, if not broken after her confession. Seeing her daughter’s expression change from disbelief to anger broke Joyce’s heart. “You were upstairs, finishing you hair and makeup, when he got here. We talked, I made it clear how unhappy you had been since he had left and that you were finally moving on with your life. God, he was so upset with me for not telling you that he would wait for your birthday, but honestly, I thought he would move on long before then.
“Then Scott showed up and I came into the foyer to take pictures and see you off, you looked so beautiful that night and in such high spirits, sweetie…I just couldn’t ruin your night by telling you he was there; to risk sending you back to that dark place you had gone to for so many months.” Pausing to wipe at her eyes, Joyce reached out to Buffy in hopes that her daughter would forgive her for her mistakes; only to feel her heart rip when Buffy shied away from her attempt. “He was gone when I got back to the kitchen. That was the last time I ever saw him.”
Unable to hold the tears at bay any longer, Buffy crumbled to the floor in tears; not knowing what to say to her mother. Her body shook with heart wrenching sobs, and she never noticed that her mom had disappeared; Buffy was surprised when Joyce sat down next to her with an old gift bag that was covered in balloons. “I think it’s time you had these.”
Curious, Buffy wiped her eyes on the sleeve of the cream colored sweater before looking into the bag. Inside she found a small bundle of envelopes, a stuffed pig with a pink bow and a slim, velvet colored jewelry box. “What’s all this?”
“I saved everything he sent you over the years. I swear I never saw him again, sweetheart, but he occasionally sent presents and cards for holidays. He never forgot you.” Ashamed that she had kept secrets from her daughter, Joyce wiped her eyes free of tears. “The cards are from birthdays and other occasions, the pig was from a Valentine’s Day, and the small box was from your eighteenth birthday.”
“Oh, it’s so beautiful,” she breathed once the case was opened. Inside was a silver heart shaped charm dangling from a slender silver chain. Peering closely at the charm, she read, “Always in my heart.” Pushing her hair out of the way, she clasped the necklace and realized that something was missing. “Oh, no! It’s gone!” The chain that normally graced her slender neckline was no longer there; more importantly, the emerald cut diamond ring that dangled between her breasts was gone, as well. “My ring!”
“Don’t get upset, sweetie.” Joyce comforted, “It’s probably in your dorm room. When was the last time you saw it.”
“Last night. At the club, I wore it last night.” Dread filled her stomach. Scrambling to her feet, Buffy grabbed the gift bag and hurried out of the dining room. “I have to go, Mom!”
“Buffy, wait!” Joyce cried, hurrying to catch up with her daughter. When Buffy stopped, hand on the doorknob poised to leave, she asked, “Are we going to be all right? Can you forgive me?”
“Eventually, I guess. I understand why you did all of that, Mom, but I don’t know if I can forgive you just yet. I need some time, well…a lot of time, really, to sort out everything that’s happened over the past couple of days.” Not waiting for a reply, Buffy disappeared out the front door and climbed into the hand me down Jeep she had inherited after graduation.
Several hours later, Buffy sat cross legged on her bed staring off into space; a pair of stuffed pigs perched on her lap, Mr. Gordo finally had himself a playmate. When she had left her mother’s house, she had had every intention of going straight to Spike’s house and getting her engagement ring; but when she realized that asking for said ring would lead to questions she wasn’t ready to answer, Buffy had turned around and headed home. Fingering the one picture she had of the two of them, her mind wandered over everything her mother had confessed to; feeling sick to her stomach that Spike had been so close to her at one point. Antsy and on the edge of going stir crazy, Buffy pushed off the bed, sending all of her Spike memorabilia flying, she scribbled a note to Willow and headed out of the dorm.
Night had already fallen when a light drizzle shook Buffy from her mindless wandering. Glancing at the nearest street sign, she was surprised at where her feet had taken her on the long journey and took that as a sign that this was where she needed to be. Shuffling through the increasingly heavy rain, she boldly tromped through the yard and rang the doorbell. Buffy had just about lost the burst of confidence, preparing to turn and run, when the door opened and he was inches away from her. She stood there shaking in the cool weather, her clothes soaked through and chilling her to the bone; utterly amazed that the tears she had thought had long gone started back up again and were mixing in with the rain pelting down on her head.
“Buffy! God, pet, you’re bloody soaked to the bone.” Spike exclaimed, pulling her trembling form inside. “You know, kitten…there’s this brilliant invention called an umbrella, you should see about getting one; seems like you have a tendency to wander around in the rain.”
“I…I…d-d-don’t k-k-know why I’m here,” Buffy managed to get out, her teeth chattering loudly. “J-j-just sorta ended up h-h-here.”
Silence filled the room as Spike wordlessly placed a blanket around her shoulders and rubbed his hands vigorously against her arms in attempts to warm her. In all honesty, he didn't know what to say to her. Judging from her pained expression as she stared up into his face, Spike figured she had went to see her mother and undoubtedly knew what had transpired so many years before. Opening his mouth, Spike quickly shut it when he couldn't force any words to come out and was thrown off balance when his lips were suddenly covered by Buffy’s; still cool from being out in the chilly night air. All reasonable thought left his mind, pulling her shivering frame against his body and kissing her with all the pent up emotions that had been with him for the past three years.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you so much for all of the wonderful, make me smile reviews over the weekend! I am so happy that everyone seems to be growing more in love with this story as it progresses, glad that my creativity has kept you interested for so long!
Also, a special thanks to whomever nominated this story at the Shades of Grey awards! That was uber sweet and made me so happy to receive the nomination email. If you guys are interested in voting for me, it starts on the 16th of this month! And, also at the Feeling Love Awards which has voting starting on Nov. 1st. for AU/AR on both sites!
Also, a special thanks to whomever nominated this story at the Shades of Grey awards! That was uber sweet and made me so happy to receive the nomination email. If you guys are interested in voting for me, it starts on the 16th of this month! And, also at the Feeling Love Awards which has voting starting on Nov. 1st. for AU/AR on both sites!