After returning to Giles’ flat, Buffy and Spike explained as best as they could what they had witnessed.
“What did they look like?” Giles wrote on his board and tapped lightly. The Scoobies had camped out in his apartment in various places and some were already asleep.
Buffy cocked her head to the side and plastered a maniacal smile on her face, raising her arms and trying to ‘float’ around the foyer, in imitation of what one of the Gentlemen looked like. Spike and Giles both frowned in confusion.
“A Zombie?” Giles wrote.
‘Pet, that’s not exactly convincing. You look like an extra from Night of the Living Dead,’ Spike teased her.
Buffy stuck out her tongue at him and she finally threw up her hands in frustration. She looked around for a dry erase board, forgetting where she put hers, and spied Xander’s. He was zonked out on the couch on one end, Anya on the other. Both of their feet stunk.
Holding her nose, Buffy lifted Xander’s head and pulled at the cord around his neck. Xander suddenly grabbed hold of the board in his sleep and began mumbling…that is, if he were able to speak. She watched his lips and could barely make out “my board” as he clutched the thing for dear life. Buffy finally gave up and started searching for the transparencies that Spike had used earlier.
‘On the table, luv,’ Spike whispered to her mind when he figured out what she was looking for.
Buffy then turned and riffled through the papers on Giles’ desk, finding the clear sheet that displayed a detailed image of the Gentlemen. Lifting it up, she pointed to the severe and horrible faces of the ghoulish creatures that now haunted Sunnydale. Finding a ballpoint pen, she grabbed it and started writing notes on the side of Giles’ outline.
“Army guys have 2 of them, don’t know how many there are,” she wrote and showed her Watcher.
Giles hung his mouth open in shock, frowning at this information. ‘Two?’ he mouthed as he held up two fingers.
Buffy nodded and made a side glance at Spike, her lips thinning. ‘Yeah, and I would’ve found out where their entrance is too, if it hadn’t been for White Head Wonder here,’ she groused at Spike.
Spike didn’t even bother with thinking anything; he made his thoughts perfectly clear to Buffy and her Watcher. ‘No!’ he mouthed and made a slashing sign with his left hand. He also shook his head in the negative, frowning.
Giles watched the interaction with growing curiosity. “Are you two talking?” he wrote on his board but had to ‘ahem’ a few times to get them to look at it.
Buffy looked at the board and then up at her Watcher. She narrowed her eyes in exasperation and wrote on the notepad. “Tried to tell you a couple days ago! Spike and me can hear each other’s thoughts!”
Giles eyes widened considerably and he covered his open jaw with his hand. One could tell that he was saying a multitude of Good Lords!, and Are you sure’s?in his mind by the way his eye twitched. Plus, the fact that he was currently buffing his glasses to a new and shiny state fooled no one.
Suddenly, Buffy was enveloped in a warm hug from behind, as Willow expressed her gratitude that she had returned from her patrol unharmed. Willow even moved and gave Spike a brief pat before sitting on the edge of the back of the couch. Looking confused by the gesture, Giles pointed at Willow and Spike, asking Buffy if they could talk to each other as well.
Buffy shook her head ‘no’ and wrote on her notepad. “No, but it seems they’re bosom buddies,” she finished with a huff and a frown in each person’s direction.
Willow and Spike were confused as hell. They looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Willow then pointed to Spike and mouthed, ‘He’s nice to me.’
Spike arched an eyebrow. ‘I am?’ he mouthed to Willow.
Willow gave a nudging glare indicating he was to go along with whatever she said. He squinted his eyes at her, trying to figure out why she looked like a fish out of water with her head bobs, finally giving up and going along with what she had admitted.
“She rescued me…sorta,” Spike begrudgingly wrote on his board and showed everyone.
Buffy crossed her arms and waited for the story, glaring at Spike. Giles was so lost he sat down at his desk and laid his head in his hands. It seemed everything was going to pieces around him…like the result of a bad spell.
“YOU!” Giles mouthed with conviction as he swiftly stood up and faced Willow, pointing an accusing finger at her.
Everyone stared first at Giles then at Willow. She shrunk back against the couch and pointed at herself. ‘Me?’ she mouthed meekly.
Giles started talking…fast. He used no board, no notepad and he was firing questions left and right, pacing between the three people. Spike looked at Buffy in confusion and she just raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders in similar bewilderment.
It was a good five minutes before Giles stopped his silent tirade, his nostrils flaring and his eyes wild. He made a sudden move to strike Willow, but was stopped by Spike grabbing his arm and pushing him back.
Spike crumpled to the floor in silent screams, holding the top of his head and coiled into a fetal position on the floor. Willow immediately hurried to help him, as Buffy approached a stunned Giles by the door.
Buffy squat down and tilted Giles’ chin up so she could look in his eyes. They were glassy and bloodshot. He looked haggard and rumpled, things she knew her Watcher would never approve of. She turned his head to the left and then to the right, his eyes never moving. Buffy then snapped her fingers to see if he would respond…and oh, did he!
He looked at her with glaring hatred and his lip curled back in a snarling grin. He grabbed her wrist and tried to break it as she struggled against him. Feeling like she had no other choice, Buffy backhanded her Watcher with her left hand and he went limp from the blow.
Shaking from just having struck her Watcher, Buffy stood slowly, cradling her throbbing forearm. Giles was definitely out for the count, as he lay prone on the floor by the front door. She turned to see Willow trying to help a now bloodied Spike gain consciousness, and she started wondering when the man had become the monster and the monster become the man.
Knowing Giles wouldn’t wake up soon, Buffy knelt by Spike’s side and took his hand in hers. ‘C’mon Spike, can’t up and quit on me that easily,’ she whispered as quietly as she could to him, trying to rouse him.
Spike would have moaned if he could. He rolled over and curled once more into a fetal position, blood dripping out of both ears now. Willow had tried to keep his head in her soft lap, but he was in too much agony to stay still. She tried once more to lay his head on her lap, but failed as he scooted away and tried to crawl towards the door.
Fearing Spike was going for Giles, she quickly dragged his body away from the door and pulled him into the bathroom. After leaving him on the cold floor, she returned to the living room to see Spike trying to get out the door, but having no luck even reaching the doorknob. He finally gave up and flopped on the floor, exhausted and drained.
Willow and Buffy looked at each other as they gently picked him up and quietly took him upstairs to Giles’ bedroom. Willow woke up a sleeping Tara and they excused themselves, going downstairs to sleep, stopping only to drag a huge comforter out of a closet for them to sleep on.
Buffy laid Spike on the bed as lightly as she could and began unlacing his boots, finally pulling them off and chucking them in the corner. She sat him up briefly as she then removed his trademark duster, hanging it on a chair next to the bed. Fluffing up the pillows, she positioned Spike’s head on them, grimacing when blood started dotting the fabric.
Buffy left the room, softly shutting the door and crept downstairs to retrieve a wet rag from the bathroom or kitchen. Stopping first in the bathroom, she looked at her prone Watcher with some disgust at what he had attempted to do to Willow and her. Thank god Spike had stopped him. Spike stopped him…
Shaking her head to dismiss her thoughts, Buffy went to find Willow. Seeing both Willow and Tara huddled together on the smaller couch, she waved her hand in a ‘come here’ gesture to the redhead. Willow then followed Buffy to the bathroom, Tara softly padding behind her.
Rubbing her forehead at what she was about to do, Buffy hesitantly point to the shackles in the bathtub and then pointed at Giles, looking at Willow and waiting for the condemnation. Apparently, she had thought of the same thing as she slowly mouthed the words, ‘Yes, he’s too dangerous right now.’ Both agreed, they hefted Giles into the tub and manacled his wrists and his legs with the cuffs and chains that had once been Spike’s prison.
Tara softly knocked on the door to get their attention as she handed them a small throw pillow. Buffy frowned, but Tara just lifted Giles’ head and laid it on the pillow, smiling softly and then leaving the two best friends in the room alone with the Watcher. Willow and Buffy looked at each other and softly chuckled at Tara’s soft spot.
Willow then yawned and tapped her wrist indicating that it was about three am. Buffy nodded and they left the bathroom, closing the door quietly. Willow returned to the small couch and huddled under the covers with Tara, as Buffy made her way back upstairs with a wet washcloth.
She entered the bedroom to see that Spike had flung off his covers, an arm lying over his eyes. She sat on the edge of the bed and began gently wiping away the now crusted blood from his nose and earlobes. After he was sufficiently cleaned up, she dropped the rag on the bedside table and took off her own shoes, tossing them in the corner with Spike’s.
Buffy then crawled into bed on the other side and watched Spike as he breathed. Stupid vampire doesn’t need to breathe…yet he does. Not a normal vampire, was never a normal vampire. Aimless thoughts just whirled through her head as her eyes slowly drooped down and she fell asleep.
Hearing her heartbeat slow down, Spike removed his arm from his eyes and softly turned to face a slumbering Buffy. He had been awake through most of it, but he lacked the energy to respond. Now he just gazed his fill at the equally exhausted woman next to him. She had gotten into the same bed with him…again! If she didn’t stop this kind of behavior, he would begin to start thinking…
‘I think all that bleach you use is making you dense,’ she mumbled to his mind.
‘You awake pet?’
‘Nah, I just talk in my sleep…course I am silly,’ she thought in amusement.
‘Hush it, thought I heard your heartbeat slowin is all,’ Spike groused back.
‘Oh I dozed off, just resting my eyes is all.’
‘That’s what old fuddy duddies say Slayer…not getting geriatric on me, are you?’
Buffy’s shoulders moved with her silent laugh and Spike smiled in the darkness.
‘With you around, I’ll probably being Slaying vamps with the smell from my adult diaper as they try to steal my orange Jell-O,’ she teased, but suddenly went very still.
‘What’s wrong, pet?’ Spike asked fretfully as he watched Buffy lift her head slightly.
‘Out the window!’ she practically screamed.
Spike rolled over as quickly as he could and stared at the ghastly face that peered in from the window. Seeing nothing of interest to it, the ghoul floated away and continued on it’s way to another townhouse, again finding nothing to suit its needs.
‘For once, I’m frightened,’ Buffy admitted, her body tremors registering with Spike.
Without thought, Spike pulled Buffy to him and cradled her head against his chest protectively. ‘Won’t let them get you, Buffy,’ he promised vehemently. He laid a tentative hand on her hair and began stroking it, soothing her. ‘Can’t get in here, too much mojo on the place,’ he assured her.
‘Talk to me, tell me some funny facts or something…to take my mind off of it,’ Buffy pleaded as she nuzzled her way closer to his chest.
Spike closed his eyes and savored the feel of a warm body in his arms…Buffy in his arms. ‘Umm,’ he started, a little quaver entering his thoughts from the comfort Buffy was providing. ‘Did you know that Vampires only became undead monsters after isolated tribal villages and communities were exposed to Christianity?’
‘This is the topic you choose?’ Buffy snorted doubtfully.
‘It’s something I’m well acquainted with…Slayer!’ he grumped.
‘Fine, just don’t go into anything…gory.’
‘Right then. In areas of countries where mainstream Christianity took hold and dominated religious thinking, Vampires and similar undead creatures weren’t a real problem,’ he started, slipping into scholarly mode.
‘That’s because they had a really good Slayer on hand,’ Buffy giggled.
‘Oi! You watch it missy!’ Spike protested with a poke to her ribs. She shook with mirth again. Evidently the Slayer was ticklish. Goody.
‘Actually, demons, damnation, and witches like Red were the predominant fear back then. They tried to mix Christianity with other religions and got a right mess. Last time they tried to mix politics with religion, they burned people at the stake,’ Spike said somberly.
Buffy nuzzled her nose into the crux of his neck to reassure him that she took what he said seriously, inhaling deeply and giving no thought as to why it soothed her so much. ‘So are you saying there is a difference between Vampires and Demons?’
‘Vampires are monsters, love,’ Spike admitted. ‘But we’re not like revenants from Hell, who are either damned souls or demons. The difference is subtle but significant.’
‘So you’re saying you don’t have a Demon residing inside you that makes you this way?’ Buffy had stopped nuzzling his neck and instead, leaned up to look in his eyes.
‘That claptrap is for your Watcher brigade. The important difference between demons and monsters is, that monsters are more closely related to human beings and less directly concerned with God. Vamps are inhabitants of the grave, not Hell,’ Spike explained.
‘So…do you…umm…do you have a, uh…’ she began, getting flustered with all the ideas now running around in her head. Did vampires have a choice as to what they became?
‘A soul, pet? That the word you lookin for?’
Buffy buried her face against his neck and nodded. The root, the bottom, the nitty-gritty of all her problems…did vampires have a soul? If so, what in the hellish world was she doing murdering these things? Who gave her that right?
‘Buffy, love…look at me,’ Spike coaxed as he gently lifted her face to gaze into her eyes. ‘If you take away the vamp in me, what is left?’
She stared into Spike’s eyes, trying to see past the vampire. She had caught a glimpse of what he had been like as a human, when he helped her with her government project. The light brown wavy hair, the soft blue eyes, the easy smile. He had been…well, to put it simply, quite beautiful as a human being.
And then, she thought about his personality. His snark was all Spike, nothing of William. William had seemed shy. Did becoming a vampire change people so intrinsically that they took on a whole different persona, change so drastically? How did William become someone as lethal as Spike if he had a soul?
‘Some day I’ll tell you how,’ he told her, listening to her thoughts as they ambled through her very vulnerable mind.
‘But not today, right?’ she pouted slightly with a yawn.
‘No pet, not today.’
‘One last question?’ she begged, yawning again.
Spike smiled against her forehead and pressed a soft kiss there. ‘Sure pet.’
‘What’s it like…to be a vampire?’
The question threw him into left field. ‘Well, the best analogy I can come up with is Frankenstein,’ he thought in all seriousness.
‘Huh?’
‘In the story of Frankenstein, the monster is put together with the parts of various newly dead corpses. The monster appears normal in every way, but he doesn’t quite fit in. The cold, scientific process that brought him to life and explains his existence aren’t enough for him. He wants to be part of the human community, but he doesn’t belong. The novel says a lot about what it’s like to be a monstrous outsider – lonely, misunderstood, feared, and despised. That’s what being a vamp is like, Buffy,’ he thought quietly.
Buffy felt tears well up in her eyes and she tried, in vain, to suppress them. ‘So lonely,’ she murmured to his mind.
‘S’ok love, didn’t mean to make you cry…was a bad choice of topic,’ Spike tried to assure her. He could kick himself right about now.
‘Hey now, no tears for me, love…made my bed,’ Spike soothed as he felt wetness on his black t-shirt.
‘Sorry, probably getting snot all over it too.’
Spike chuckled to himself. ‘Lessee if I can cheer you up a bit before sleep.’
‘You don’t have to…’ she started but was cut off when he started anyway.
‘Man cannot live on bread alone…unless he’s in a cage and that’s all you feed him.’
Buffy’s shoulders started heaving as she started laughing.
‘I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out,’ he chuckled.
Buffy laughed again and wrapped her arm around his waist as she snuggled into him a little more.
‘My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat,’ Spike sighed in contentment as Buffy laughed once more.
‘I need someone bad. Are you bad?’ Spike finished with a little smirk and started tickling Buffy again.
They laughed with each other until yawns overtook them. And for once, they slept peacefully.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Many, many thanks to I'M BLOODY ENGLISH for sending me Angel season 5 (she held my hand while I watched it, patting it and telling me everything was gonna be ok) - WOW, got lots of cool ideas! And you MUST (not a choice folks) read all of her stuff - MAJOR HOTNESS! Yums! Thanks to everyone who still reads this story, I'm flattered, truly! Thanks of course to my two favorite girls Zoe and Sotia, life is not possible without you gals - you smutty gals you! And thank you to EdgeHead for the awesome-ous banner for this story, I hope I do it justice!