[Reviews - 5]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2103 times

- Text Size +




He's here. He's sitting beside me, holding my hand, and it's real. I'm not asleep, I'm not dreaming this. Because no dream could ever be this sweet.
How did I do it? Looking back, how did I live without him? Now I realize how truly broken I was when I came back. To have used him and hurt him so.
How can he even want to be near me? He deserves so much better than me. But I'm selfish, I'll never let him go.
I'll fight the devil himself if I have to, because no one else will ever touch him.

He's warm, that is so strange, because he should be cool. He should be dead.
But he's not, he's alive, he's breathing, and his heart is pounding away in his chest. I couldn't believe it when I felt it, I thought it was mine.
But he just looked at me, smiled, and brought my hand to his chest to let me feel it. My miracle.

We're in the living room now, It started raining a little while ago, so we're just watching the rain over the ocean. I wanted to sit in his lap, but I'm having to share him.
Dawn, she hasn't stopped smiling since we woke up, but neither have I. She's so happy, I know it and so does he. This morning she threw herself in his arms,
held him, and told him how much she loved and missed him. She begged him to forgive her, to tell her he still loved her. He just smiled at her with tears running down his face and
simply said, "I do."

Xander woke up later, when we huddled on the couch and started crying again. He walked through, looked at Spike, and just kind of nodded. Dawn and I both were bristled, expecting
a fight, but I should have known. He's happy for us, he knows what I went through, because he went through it too. I followed him to the kitchen, and when he looked at me, I could
see it, Hope, that she would walk through the door. And I saw jealousy there as well, because he knew it would never happen. It made me realize again how lucky I am, so I had to go back to him.
To see if he was really there. And he was, he was sitting with his arm around Dawn, watching the door. His eyes lit up when he saw me, he was happy to see me. If he only knew. But, he does.
He knows how I felt, because he felt it too. One Hundred and Forty Seven days.

I don't think I've said two words to him, but then I don't I really need to. Because when he looks in my eyes he can see it, I know he can.
Because I look at him the same way he looks at me.

Dawn fell asleep a little while ago, so he carried up to her room. He layed her in the bed and kissed her cheek, and I just stood in the doorway and watched with watery eyes. Xander left for work after his breakfast, so
it's basically just us now. He's looking at me with penetrating eyes and I'm caught. He walks to me, takes my hand and leads me to the hall after one last look at Dawn. There is so much I want to tell him, so much I need to say,
but I can't even breathe. He understands, and lifts me in his arms and cradles me to his chest. "Which room is yours, love?" I point to my room down the hall, he opens the door and carries me through, and stops dead in his tracks. I muffle a giggle in his chest at the sight of his face. He looks around in wide eyed wonder, at my room with blood red walls, antique cherry furniture, and black curtains. He smirks as he looks at my bed, a black comforter and red silk sheets. I know I'm blushing, my cheeks are flaming, and his knowing little smile didn't help things.

He sat me down on the bed, and just looked at me, waiting for an invitation. So I pulled him down beside me, and slid down to take off his boots. The duster was no where to be seen, so that left him in faded blue jeans, socks, and his black t-shirt.
When I came to rest beside him, I just looked at him, and I had to touch him again to make sure he was real. When my hand touched his alabaster cheek, I whispered his name, and it brought tears to my eyes. How long had it been since I had said his name?
It's such a silly name, but I've never heard anything so beautiful in my life. "Spike." He just sits there, he knows I want to tell him something. "I Love You." And I'll remember his face, even after they put me in the ground. The wonder, amazement, and sheer joy that bloomed across his face blinded me. "I love you so much, I- I love you! God Spike, I love you so much it hurts, I can feel it inside me. It suffocates me, it burns me. I--" He trys to calm me, because I'm screaming now, "Love, Buffy, calm dow-" "NO!! You don't understand!! I have to tell you! I've been given this chance, this chance that I've prayed and begged for, and I have to tell you how much I love you, how much I need you! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for the things I've done, the things I've said, Please, Please forgive me! Please plea--" I couldn't even finish I was sobbing so hard, I buried my face in his chest, and clung to him for dear life. He holds me to him and I can feel his tears hitting my face, can feel as he shudders with emotion. "It's alright now, love. It's alright now." He says it over and over as he rocks me back and forth, sobbing. I lean back to look in his eyes, so blue, drowning with tears and emotion, "Please, tell me. Tell me you still love me." I plead with him, as a smile crosses his face. He pulls me back in his arms.
"Silly girl. Not even death stopped me loving you. I love you, Buffy. Forever."





You must login (register) to review.