CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Two days later and Spike was up early. He tended to leave the radio on all night with the sound turned low, so that when he woke he’d soon know what time it was. He was showered, shaved and dressed in the clothes Xander had bought for him yesterday by 8:00 AM. As he’d shaved he’d felt round his eyes. The tenderness was almost gone and the swelling much less than before.

He’d told Xander what he wanted to do this morning and now he wished Xander would hurry up. He’d decided that if this was the way it was going to be he’d better just get on with it, short of killing himself, which seemed pretty ungrateful when he’d been given the gift of being made human. There wasn’t anything else he could do.

So he’d decided to join the others in Giles’ flat for breakfast, providing that Xander made sure he just got toast since it would be easy to cope with. Xander had said he’d get the others to come down to the kitchen on this floor but Spike was adamant and he told him not to tell the others, the last part mostly because he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t bottle out of doing it.

A knock, then Xander came in.

“Morning,” he said cheerfully, “Ready?”

Spike nodded.

Xander saw him raise his chin and clench his jaw in the familiar way he had when he needed to psyche himself up a bit. Spike took hold of Xander’s arm and they made their way up the three flights of stairs, and along the corridor to Giles’ kitchen where they were starting to gather for breakfast.

Xander felt Spike pull on his arm as he hesitated slightly before stepping into the room.

“Spike!” Andrew saw him first, a look from Xander stopping him from rushing to hug him. Xander mouthed ‘just be cool, act normal.’

“Morning, Spike. Sit yourself down, there’s a stool a couple of feet in front of you,” said Giles, his calm voice belying the delight that Spike had joined them.

Xander walked with Spike until he found the stool then went round the other side of the table so he could see Spike’s face. He could read him like a book and if it got too much for him Xander intended on getting him out before it caused a setback.

“Morning,” said Spike, wondering if everyone was here or just the men since no one else had spoken.

“Want some pancakes?” asked Dawn.

“Um…I .was just going to have toast,” said Spike.

“Oh, come on!” said Dawn, “Toast? No way. I know you love pancakes.”

“Okay,” replied Spike, knowing how hard it was to change a Summers girl’s mind.

Spike heard footsteps behind him then a gasp.

“Spike,” said Buffy, holding Joy in her arms. She looked at Giles not knowing what to do.

Luckily Willow was behind her, took in the scene and quickly went to sit next to Spike, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Good to see you, Spike,” she said.

There was a pause when everyone realised what she’d said. Spike broke the silence.

“Look, just because I can’t sodding see, doesn’t mean that we can’t use the bloody word. It’s okay,” and he realised that perhaps it was going to be.

“You’re looking better than when I last saw you,” said Buffy quietly.

“I hope so,” replied Spike, “otherwise I would’ve put you off your food.”

That broke the tension and everyone settled down to eat. Xander made sure Spike’s pancakes were cut up and everyone laughed when Buffy asked Dawn if she’d ever grow out of eating with her fingers, making Spike feel less self conscious about feeling around his plate.

As everyone was eating Spike became aware of a sort of gurgling noise.

“What’s that?” he asked.

Everyone went quiet.

“It’s Joy,” said Buffy.

“Joy? You said that the night you got me out. Who’s Joy?” asked Spike.

This time Buffy told him.

“She’s my baby daughter. Our baby daughter.”

“But….? What…?” stammered Spike.

“I’m pretty sure she’s what you fought to protect from the Eukaryote but in doing so ended up locking her memories away so you can’t access them either,” said Giles.

“How old?” whispered Spike.

“Three months,” replied Buffy.

“Buffy, why don’t you, Spike, and Joy go into the sitting room while we clear up?” said Giles, thinking it best for the three to be alone and, being just across the hall, it was the nearest.

Buffy helped Spike into the room and to the sofa. She sat next to him, Joy in her arms.

“Buffy….” Spike started to say.

“I know your memories of me are almost gone and the ones of Joy have gone completely but we’re a family, Spike, and we need you,” said Buffy, close to tears. “Here, hold her.” She thrust the baby into his arms before he could answer.

Fascinated, he held Joy in the crook of his right arm, feeling his way all over her with his left hand, smiling when she gripped onto his finger with her tiny hand.

“I remember her smell,” he said softly.

“Hope it’s the clean baby smell you remember and not the ‘I need changing right now’ smell.”

“Both,” said Spike, his voice breaking a little, “She’s real.”

“She sure is,” said Buffy.

She put her arm around him and started to cry as he relaxed into her. She put her head on his shoulder and he turned to kiss her on the neck, the only part he could reach.

“You do remember that you don’t bite anymore?” joked Buffy through the tears.

Spike sat there with his two girls, somehow more able to come to terms with his blindness knowing that it hadn’t been in vain. Knowing he’d protected his daughter.

Ooooooooooo

Buffy and Joy moved into the ground floor room with Spike as it was easier for him to stay in a familiar room. The new intake of slayers had been cancelled to give Spike the chance to recuperate and adjust without hordes of girls careening about the place.

About a month after Spike had been brought out of the clutches of the Immortal, he woke up in the night. He was thirsty so he went to get a glass of water from the en suite. He stood there facing the mirror above the sink drinking it as Buffy walked in behind him, turning on the overhead light. There was a sudden crash as the glass shattered in the sink.

“Ow!” cried Spike, bending forwards.

“Have you cut yourself?” said Buffy, going up to him. He had his hands over his eyes.

“No. The light! Turn it off!” he yelled.

She pulled the light cord as quickly as she could, returning the room to darkness.

“What is it, Spike? What’s wrong?”

“The light - it hurt my eyes. It was too bright,” replied Spike, taking his hands away from his eyes and turning to her.

“Can you…..”

“See?” finished Spike. “I don’t know. I just know I saw it and it hurt.”

“Come out here. I’ll put the bedside lamp on. It’s not so bright.”

Spike walked over to the bed and stood facing where he knew the lamp was.

“Ready?” she asked.

He nodded. She turned the light on.

This time it didn’t hurt but he could see the light, not a distinct shape just light where it had been pitch black.

“Do you think……?”

“I don’t know, Buffy. I can definitely make out where the light is but I can’t see you.”

“It’s a start,” said Buffy.

“Yes,” said Spike, holding her close.

Ooooooooooo

Over the next week or so Spike became able to see more and more, first just being able to see light and dark, to vague shapes where people or furniture were. Then he was able to see things more accurately but the images were blurred and he began to suffer bad headaches from trying too hard to see through the double or triple vision.

He’d gone down to lay on the bed in the dark when he was suffering from one of these headaches, knowing the only way to ease it was to rest his eyes. He dozed for a while waking up as someone entered the room, the squeak of the door giving them away. He heard the footsteps and knew it was Buffy checking up on him.

“Spike?” she said gently as she sat on the bed, “How are you feeling now? Any better?”

He opened his eyes, closed them quickly then opened them again.

“Buffy?” he said.

“What? Are you ok? Still sore?”

“God, you’re beautiful,” he replied, a big smile splitting his face.

“I’m……You can see? Properly see?”

“Yes I can! I’d forgotten how beautiful you are.”

“Sweet talker,” joked Buffy in delight.

They hugged and kissed then Spike got up.

“Come on! I need to see Joy.”

They went up to the apartment where Willow and Dawn had been looking after Joy. Buffy had to steady Spike occasionally as he wasn’t able to judge things like the stairs without concentrating. Ironically if he closed his eyes he didn’t miss a step. They walked into the sitting room - it was bathed in light.

“Hey, Niblet, those earrings are pretty,” said Spike with a smile.

“My earrings…? You can see them? Wow, that’s great!” she exclaimed, rushing over to hug him.

“Yeah, I can see clearly, no more blurriness.” He hugged her tight.

When he let go of her he looked at Willow who sat holding Joy. She stood up and gave him the baby. Spike looked down at his baby for what seemed like the first time ever, his vision blurring again, but this time it was just with tears, tears of joy at seeing his daughter.

To be concluded in the next chapter...





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