TOO MUCH TO BEAR
After dinner they sat and chatted, making plans for their return to London. Thankfully a colleague had seen to the removal of Carole’s body and making the place secure once more. It wouldn’t be long before the next new intake of slayers would arrive and they wanted to get Spike back in his normal routine as soon as possible, certain it would help him.
“BUFFY!”
The yell made them all jump.
“He’s GONE.” Dawn’s voice was shrill.
They all ran to where her voice had come from. She was standing on the upstairs landing. She’d gone to check on Joy, who was still sleeping in the room she shared with Willow, and she’d gone into the bathroom and seen the smashed mirror and the locks of hair on the floor. Alarmed, she’d popped her head to look in on him but had found the bed empty, untouched.
“I should have known. He was so upset when I found him and I just let him go off to be on his own,” said Buffy, distraught.
“Dawn, you stay here with Joy. Andrew, go call Xander and let him know, then you and Willow go and look for him. Head towards the Council building. Buffy, you and I will go out the other way,” said Giles quickly, “We’ll find him, Buffy,” he added.
They rushed out of the house and split up to spread out and search for him.
Oooooooooooo
Xander put down the phone and turned to Helen.
“Spike’s gone, sneaked out of the house. He’d told Buffy earlier that he’d killed Carole. She thought she’d calmed him down and reassured him that he hadn’t done it. He said he was going to bed but he didn’t. He smashed the bathroom mirror and cut off his hair then disappeared.”
“Poor Spike, but it wasn’t him who killed Carole,” said Helen.
“I know, but he obviously can still feel it somehow. God, the guy’s been humanised and vamped so often there’s no wonder he’s in pieces.”
He stood and thought for a bit.
“I think I know where he’ll go - back to the house he was using.”
“Wouldn’t you think he’d steer away from that place?”
“You’d think so but I bet that’s where he is.” He snatched his coat up from the back of a chair and snatched the car keys up from the counter.
“I’m coming with you,” said Helen, rushing out after him.
Merl had told them where Spike and Drusilla had made their lair. They got there in about fifteen minutes, driving with no regard to speed limits. Xander looked at his watch, presuming Spike left soon after saying he was going to bed. He’d been missing for over two hours. He pulled the car to a halt, noticing the house was in darkness. They got out and walked to the front door, which was closed but not locked. They crept through the house, switching lights on as they went through the rooms on the ground floor, and found nothing. They checked out the basement, finding lots of chains but no Spike.
Upstairs they opened each door - still nothing. Xander was just thinking his hunch had been wrong when he realised he could see light shining under the door from the last bedroom. It faced the back of the house so they hadn’t seen it as they’d arrived. He pushed open the door.
Spike.
He sat to the right hand side of the room on a little stool in front of a dressing table. It had a mirror on the top of it, one of the sort that has three parts to it so you can see from different angles. The smaller side mirrors were smashed. He was staring at his reflection in the middle one, the fingers of his left hand tracing the outline of it in the glass.
Xander and Helen stepped into the room, but Spike didn’t seem to hear them. He picked up a bottle of Jack Daniels with his right hand and took a couple of big slugs, eyes never leaving his reflection.
“Spike?” said Xander, walking towards him.
Spike turned to look at him for a second before he looked back at the mirror.
“What do you see?” asked Spike, words slightly slurred, indicating he’d drunk a lot of the liquor he still held in his right hand.
“Er…..a friend in a bit of trouble, I reckon,” said Xander.
Spike started to laugh, then took a couple more slugs of JD.
“Spike, honey, come on, let’s take you home,” said Helen gently.
“I am home,” said Spike, “This is where I belong.”
“No it isn’t,” insisted Helen.
Spike took his left hand from the mirror and picked up the gun that up to that point neither Helen nor Xander had seen. Both froze when they saw it. He raised it slowly, not at them but to his left temple, his eyes never leaving his reflection.
“No!” screamed Helen.
Spike jumped as if he’d forgotten they were there. He lowered the gun and turned to them, getting off the stool and standing up. The gun was in his left hand and JD still in his right.
He looked at Helen in horror, seeing her not as she was but as she’d been in her kitchen, fear in her eyes and blood on her neck. He wiped his mouth with the back of his left hand and looked at it, surprised not to see the blood he thought he’d wiped from his lips. He could taste it.
“What do you see?” he asked again
“I see Spike, my friend Spike,” she said softly.
“Do you want to know what I see?” said Spike, voice trembling.
“Tell me.” she said. She could see Xander moving very slowly, trying to get closer to Spike.
“I see…..I see….the blood on your neck. I can taste it in my mouth. I hurt you and I……I….wanted…to do more…..bad things.”
“But it wasn’t you,” she soothed.
“If it wasn’t me why do I see it, feel it?” His voice rose to a shout. He wheeled round and pointed at the bed.
“I love Buffy, but why do I see Drusilla when she touches me? Why did I spend hours in here with Dru, not Buffy?”
Helen could hear the brittle edge of hysteria in his voice.
Two more big gulps of liquor.
“I killed Carole. I can feel the way her neck snapped in my hands.”
He looked back at the mirror. He looked at his reflection, still seeing the hateful face of the vampire staring back at him, evil amber eyes glaring brightly.
He flung the bottle of JD at it as hard as he could, both shattering with a loud crash.
He brought the gun up to his left temple.
Xander, who was now behind him, leapt for it.
Spike pulled the trigger.
To be concluded in the next chapter...
[Reviews - 34]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 1789 times
- Text Size +
banner by dawnofme
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
banner by dawnofme