Title: Unexpected Blessings
Author:Pattyanne
snapkik@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine
Feedback: Yes, please!
Rating: Up to NC-17
Summary: Buffy and Spike have a baby





~~~~~~~~~~
Labor Pains? What Labor Pains?
~~~~~~~~~~


"I think I'm in labor."

Buffy stood at the kitchen sink, one hand on her
belly and an uncertain expression on her face.

Dawn and Willow turned and looked at her, then
at each other, then back at her.

"What?" Buffy asked them.

"Uh...you don't really look like you're in labor," Wil-
low explained tentatively.

"Yeah," Dawn agreed. "Aren't women in labor all sweaty
and screamy and...stuff?"

"Not at the beginning," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

Willow gave her a sympathetic smile. "Why do you think
you're in labor?" she asked.

"Well..it's only two days till my due date, and I feel kind
of...funny."

Now, Willow looked concerned. "Funny strange...or funny
ha-ha?"

"I don't know," Buffy sighed.

Dawn spoke up. "Are you in pain? Labor means pain,
right?"

Buffy sat down at the table and opened the cookie
jar. "Not really pain," she said, grabbing a handful of
Oreos and pulling them open to lick the cream out. "I
mean...not serious pain, anyhow."

"Buffy" Willow said seriously. "Are you in ANY pain at
all?"

The slayer shrugged. "Every now and then I get a
little cramp. Kind of like I get near the end of my period."

"And that's all?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"What should we do?" Dawn asked nervously. "Should
we call the doctor?"

Willow thought for a moment. "Maybe we should," she
finally said. "Buffy..you have a pretty high tolerance
for pain. Maybe you're in serious labor and just not
feeling it."

"Neat!" Buffy grinned, crumbling up chocolate cookie
bits in a glass of milk. "Wow..if this is serious labor then
childbirth will be a walk in the park. Not MY walks in
parks," she amended, "because mine are scary
and dangerous...but other people's walks in...in other
people's parks."

"Okay...so what do we do first?" Dawn asked again,
her voice high pitched.

Willow turned and looked right at her. "We don't panic!"

Buffy nodded. "Thash my moddo" she said, speaking
through a mouthful of soggy cookies bits.

Spike walked into the kitchen, stopping short when
three pairs of eyes fixed on him. "What did I do?"

"Hi, honey!" Buffy said brightly. "I'm in labor!"

He just stared at her for a moment as she sat there
with milk clinging to her upper lip, then chuckled as
though she had told him a mildly funny joke. "You
are not," he said, shaking his head.

Buffy's eyebrows arched. "I reeeallly think I am" she
sing-songed.

"No," he said firmly. "You're not."

Exasperated, Buffy glared at him. "How the hell do
YOU know? Are YOU in here with me?"

"Buffy, you're not in...."

"You're pissing me off, Spike! I don't..." She struggled
to stand up. "Get me out of this chair!"

He took her hands and pulled her up. When she
was back on her feet, she placed her hands on her
hips and confronted her husband. "I don't think you're
the best judge of MY condition!"

Willow spoke up, hoping to calm the fracas before
it really got rolling. "We were just thinking that Buffy
might be in labor, and just not feel it all that much..her
being the slayer and all. She can take a lot of pain
before she says ouch."

Spike just shook his head. "She's not in labor," he said
doggedly.

"You can say it until the cows come home," Buffy
snapped. "And it still don't make it true!"

"Look, sweetheart," he began reasonably, "You
can't be in labor."

"Why the hell not?" she asked shrilly. "For crying
out loud, Spike...you always knew this day would come!"

"Buffy..."

"And WHY are you so damn positive that I'm not
in labor?" she demanded. "Did you graduate from
medical school when I wasn't looking?"

"Because," he blurted out, "I'm not ready for it!"

Buffy didn't know whether to laugh or scream. Not
ready for it? Like THAT was the deciding factor!

"Well, WHY didn't you say so?" she asked sarcas-
tically. "I'm sure if you ask her that the baby won't
mind staying where she is until you're ready for it!"

"Buffy..."

"Maybe you can give me a rough of when you THINK
you'll be good to go. Nothing definite, just ball park,
what do you think? Two weeks? Three? Couple of
years?"

"Funny, Slayer...real funny." Spike looked at Will-
ow. "She been like this all day?"

"Like what?" Willow asked innocently.

Spike didn't reply, just looked back at his wife. "You
really think you're in labor?" he asked.

Buffy folded her arms across her chest. "Well...YOU
tell ME!"

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her towards the
back door. "You," he said, pointing at Dawn. "Run
upstairs and get your sister's bag. It's right inside
our bedroom door. And you," he turned to Willow.
"You call her doctor...number's by the phone."

"Gee, he must be ready," Buffy muttered.

"And YOU!" Spike added. "Shut up and get your ass
in the car."

She stared up at him, fully prepared to give him
the rough side of her tongue, then stopped when she
saw the look on his face.

Waiting until Dawn and Willow were gone, she
slipped one hand behind his neck. "Don't be scared,"
she said softly. "Everything will be fine...and you
ARE ready for it."

He just looked at her, his eyes filled with doubt
and worry. "You think?"

She smiled. "I KNOW," she whispered, pulling
him down until his lips touched hers. After a long
kiss, she cupped his face in her hands and said
the one thing she knew would calm him down
and fire him up at the same time.

"Spike...I need you to take care of me. I'm count-
ing on you, baby."


**She needs me...she needs me...my wife
needs me....**


He smiled and kissed her forehead. "You're good...you
know that, don't you?"

"I know YOU, baby."

"All right," he said firmly. "Let's..." He stopped when
she made a face. "What?"

She shrugged. "Labor pain."

Spike was surprised. "That's IT?"

"I guess so," she said with a cheery smile.

"Well, that doesn't seem so bad."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Fringe benefit of being
a slayer, I guess. Painless childbirth. Lucky me, huh?"


*************************

SIX HOURS LATER....


"GET...AWAY...FROM...ME!"

"I need to examine you and see how far you're
dilated," the nurse said briskly.

Buffy lay flat on the hospital bed, panting and
sweating, and madder than hellfire.

"NO!" She whipped her head around and
glared at Spike. "Kill her!" she demanded. "It's
the least you can do for me, you rotten son of
a..."

Spike looked up and met the nurses eyes. "She's
kidding." He leaned over the bed. "Sweetheart...the
nurse is here to help you. I know you're in pain, but
I can't kill her," he whispered."

Buffy looked at him murderously. "This is YOUR
fault," she panted. "You...and your stupid birth-
day...I HATE you....I wish you were DEAD!"

Turning on the nurse, she grabbed the front of
her uniform. "Bring me...a sharp piece of wood!
Any kind!"

"Buffy!" Spike said loudly. "Let go of the nurse!"
He pried her fingers loose and kept her hands
locked in his, preventing her from sinking her teeth
into his knuckles.

Dr. Beaumont walked into the room, scanning
Buffy's chart. "How are things going in..." He stopped
short when he saw the looks he was being given
by the other three people in the room. "Not
well, I take it?" he asked needlessly.

"No!" Spike answered. "You take it damn well right! She's
in too much pain. Can't you bloody well give her some-
thing for it?"

"Please..." Buffy whined.

"I can do that," the doctor assured them. "How far
is she dilated?" he asked the nurse.

"She won't let me examine her and find out!"

Dr. Beaumont smiled. "I'll do it." he washed his
hands at the sink, then pulled a pair of rubber
gloves from the wall dispenser. "Page Dr. Hulse.
We may do an epidural."

When the door swung closed behind the R.N., the
doctor pulled the curtain closed around Buffy's bed.

"Buffy.." he began.

She glared at him suspiciously. "What?"

"I promise to be very gentle and not hurt you, but I
have to see how far you're dilated. Then, we'll get you
something for the pain. All right?"

Buffy nodded. "Thank you." In the lull between pains,
she tried to be pleasant. "You see..this wasn't
supposed to hurt."

Dr. Beaumont looked at her, puzzled. "Why did you
think that having a baby wouldn't hurt? Didn't you attend
the classes and...."

"Yes!" she interjected. "But I'm different from the others!"

"Oh? How's that?"

"I'm a ...."

Spike clapped his hand over her mouth. "Big, brave
girl!" he finished for her. "Be quiet now and let the doc
examine you, honey. I'll be right back."

She grabbed his shirt sleeve. "Where do you think YOU'RE
going?"

"I'm just...just going to tell everyone how you're doing,"
he explained.

"But I'm doing lousy," she said fretfully.

"No, you're not, love." He loosened her hand and
kissed her fingers.

"Hurry up!" she called as he made it out the door.

"Oh, yeah...I will," Spike answered. As the door
closed behind him, he paused to collect himself,
then headed for the waiting area.

Dawn saw him first and jumped to her feet. "Is it
over?"

Spike shook his head. "I wish." He sat down on
the couch next to Willow. "The doc is giving her
something so it doesn't hurt so much."

Willow smiled and patted his shoulder. "The pain
kicked in, huh?"

He nodded. "In a big way."

"Is she being mean?"

"In a BIG way."

Xander appeared in the doorway, three cans of
soda in his hands. "So," he said, handing a can
to Dawn and Willow. "How's the little mommy doing?"

"She's terrorizing the nurses," Spike replied. "They're
all afraid to go near her."

"As well they should be," Xander said, plopping down
in an armchair and opening a can of cola. "The only
thing more dangerous than a cranky slayer...is a
cranky slayer in labor."

"Yeah, well...." Spike stood up. "I have to go back," he
said bleakly.

Xander raised his can. "Courage, man."

Willow smiled cheerily. "Tell her that we're here!"

"And that we love her!" Dawn added.

"I will." Spike looked back at them from the doorway. "Good-
bye," he said, sounding like a condemned man standing
on the top step of the gallows.

Outside of Buffy's room, he waited, listening for
her cantankerous tones. After almost a minute of silence,
he pushed the door open. "Buffy?"

"Hi, honey" she said sweetly, holding out one
hand. "Come here."

Encouraged by her smile, he leaned over the bed. "How
you feeling, baby?" he asked, brushing back her damp
hair.

"Better," she sighed deeply. "Soooo much better."

Spike smiled. "On drugs, huh?"

"Mm-hmm," she nodded. "Good ones, too."

Doctor Beaumont came in to the room. "How's the
pain?" he asked.

"Bearable" Buffy said.

The doctor chuckled. "Hooray for modern medicine." He
glanced at her chart. "Good news...you're fully dilated."

"What's that mean?" Spike asked.

The doctor closed the chart with a snap. "Time
to push. AFTER we get you into the delivery room."

"Okay," Buffy said, her face determined. "I'm ready."

After summoning the nurse on the intercom, Doctor
Beaumont turned back to them. "All right. Let's go
deliver this baby."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Next...A Whole New World





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