She still couldn’t seem to wrap her head around the idea of vampires being real, never mind anything else. It had seemed beyond farfetched when Anya had brought the subject up, but now…
She certainly couldn’t pretend she hadn’t seen Spike’s face change.
So if vampires were real and she’d spent the past week in bed with one, what did that mean for her? Was she infected or something now? If she was, was there some sort of treatment? Should she be taking garlic pills?
To make matters even more confusing, she still wanted Spike. He’d revealed himself to be a literal monster and tossed her from his home a second time, and yet her body was throbbing with need for his touch and his touch alone. What did it mean that she as desperate for someone who wasn’t even human? Was she sick?
Or maybe it wasn’t her at all, Buffy realized, her eyes widening as a new thought entered her mind. Didn’t vampires have like a thrall? Dracula was always putting women into a trance in the movies. Had Spike done that to her? It would explain a lot of things – like why she was suddenly hornier than she had ever been in her life. Spike could have used his vampiric powers to turn her into some sort of desperate sex kitten.
Which, Buffy had to admit sounded a bit farfetched, but a week ago she would’ve said the same thing regarding the idea of sleeping with a vampire at all.
Truth be told, she had no idea what was going on or how to handle it – and being in the dark like this wasn’t something Buffy enjoyed.
So she decided to be proactive, stop moping and find answers instead.
She glanced down at her dress and amended that.
She’d find answers as soon as she cleaned herself up.
Buffy sat on her living room floor, surveying the piles in front of her. It may have garnered her a few strange looks from the librarians, but she’d checked out every book on vampires she could get her hands on, desperate to find something helpful.
So far, she’d come up empty.
Her subsequent trip to Blockbuster hadn’t proven anymore fruitful. Every movie she’d put in seemed to have its own take on what vampires were. And everything seemed to contradict in at least some way with what she knew about Spike.
A stake to the heart killed them, secured them to their graves, or did nothing at all. Crosses burned, repelled, or made them mock you. Sunlight was instant death, unpleasant, or part of a myth. They had reflections and showed up in photographs – or they didn’t.
They could only drink blood. Or other food was okay, too, just not enough.
They were evil. They were misunderstood.
The list went on and on, with everything debated from sleeping arrangements to physiology.
The only thing anyone could seem to agree on was that they drank blood.
Unless it was a psychic vampire. Then apparently they fed off human energy.
Buffy growled in frustration and knocked a pile of books over. With all the dating manuals out there, couldn’t someone have written a guide for what to do when you find out the hot guy you pick up at a club is really a hot dead guy with a blood habit? He’s Just into your Jugular, perhaps?
She turned sharply towards the door when she heard someone knock. Tentatively, she got up and went to it, her breath catching when she looked out the peephole and saw it was Spike.
“Buffy, I just want to talk,” Spike said from outside. “I promise I won’t lay a finger on you.”
Buffy chewed her bottom lip as she debated whether or not to open the door. She knew promises aside, he could still hurt her. Only if he wanted to, wouldn’t he have killed her that morning?
Unless he’d decided since then that now she knew his secret, she must die.
“Look, even if you open the door, I can’t get to you. I’m forbidden from entering a home without an invitation.”
Buffy frowned. She’d read that somewhere, hadn’t she? Although he still could be lying…
She decided to take the change. If nothing else, she’d risk it in order to get answers to her questions.
However, to be on the safe side, she grabbed something else she’d picked up earlier.
Spike’s eyes widened when Buffy opened the door and he saw what she was holding. “Is that a wooden stake?”
“Yeah. Do they work?”
Spike swallowed. “Yes.”
Buffy held his gaze. “Good to know.”
“It’s not really necessary right now,” Spike said. He held up his hand, demonstrating the invisible border that stood between him and her house. “See?”
Buffy lowered the stake, though she didn’t let it go. “How did you find me anyway? Some sort of vampire hunting powers?”
“You’re listed in the phonebook.”
“Oh. Right.”
Spike took a deep breath, and Buffy wondered why. Did he actually breathe like humans did? Her research had been inconclusive on that matter as well.
“Look, I came here because I couldn’t leave things like they were this morning. I’m sorry for that. I just… I don’t know what to do about this whole thing. I wasn’t looking for a relationship – I certainly wasn’t looking for one with a human – but then here you are, throwing a spanner in the works and making things all sorts of wonky.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, the stake still gripped in her hand. “Gee, just what every girl longs to hear. That she’s a spanner in some guy’s works.”
Spike gave her an exasperated expression. “That wasn’t my point.”
“Then get pointy.”
“I wasn’t looking for anything, but I found it. I’ve been on this earth for over a century, Buffy. Been dead for most of it, and I’ve felt it, too. Losing Drusilla, ending up on my own – hasn’t really made immortality much of a party. But then I met you, and it’s like getting to see the sun again. You make me feel things, want things, that I’d given up on. It bloody terrifies me.”
“You’re terrified. I just found out I’ve been sleeping with a vampire.”
“Yeah, well…” Spike stopped and took another one of those deep breaths, trying to collect his thoughts. “Look, this is crazy, yeah? Even if I wasn’t a vampire, this whole thing would be insane. I’ve known you for a week, Buffy. A week. And already I’m so sodding crazy about you I don’t even know what end is up anymore. You’re all I bloody think about. And I know I should just get out of your life. Hell, you’re probably two seconds away from slamming the door in my face. But I can’t just walk away from this. You’ve crawled under my skin, gotten into my blood. I’m lost, Buffy. I’m lost.”
Buffy stared at him, her throat growing tight. That was probably the most romantic thing any man had ever said to her, especially if she factored in the sincerity she’d seen in his eyes and heard in his voice. But did it even matter? The fact still remained that he was a vampire and she was, well, not.
“I can’t, Spike. I’m sorry. I…I can’t handle this.”
Spike reached for her, though his hand dropped abruptly as he remembered the barrier. “Buffy, please. We’ll work something out, figure a way to deal with this, Just give it a chance. Please.”
She shook her head, not willing to cry.
“No.”
For a moment, Spike stood watching her, looking helpless, an invisible yet tangible reminder that they were from two different worlds between them. Buffy couldn’t take looking at him, couldn’t stand watching her own heartbreak mirrored on his face. She shut the door, holding off her tears just long enough to get it between them.
She leaned against the door, unable to stop herself from crying any longer. Spike was right – this whole thing was completely insane. But knowing that, knowing everything didn’t change the wanting, didn’t do away with the raw need to be in his arms.
Buffy realized then that she didn’t know what scared her more – the idea of falling for a literal monster or the idea of falling at all.
What would happen if she let Spike go now? He was all she had. She had no family, no real friends. For years, her life had become so entwined with Riley’s that it had been like she hadn’t had a life at all. Now she felt like she was waking up again, coming back to life, and Spike was a very, very big part of that. Could she give that up? Could she give up the way Spike made her feel?
The stake clattered to the ground as she ran out of the house, chasing Spike into the yard. He turned just in time for her to launch herself into his arms and kiss him hard.
When she pulled away, Spike was looking at her in shock. “Buffy, what…”
“I changed my mind.”
“Seriously? You’re not just fucking with mine?”
She gave him a small smile. “No.”
Spike’s answering grin was broad. He scooped her up in the air and kissed her again. Buffy gave in to the feel of kissing him, pushing everything out of her mind other than how Spike made her feel. Nothing else needed to matter, not when he was touching her.
He broke away from her lips to carry her up to the door, and Buffy clung to him, welcoming the comforting, solid feel of him against her.
Spike paused at the door, and Buffy looked up at him, her brow wrinkled. “Why are you stopping?”
“You have to invite me in, luv.”
“Oh, right.” Buffy swallowed, reminded again that the man holding her was something other than human. Common sense told her that inviting vampires into your home was a very bad thing to do. It had been the precursor to gruesome deaths in the movies she’d half-watched earlier. But this was Spike, and despite his insistence earlier that he could lose control, he really hadn’t.
Besides, the bed was inside.
“Come in, Spike,” she said hoping that was enough, that there weren’t some special vampire-inviting magic words she didn’t know.
Apparently, it was enough, because as soon as she spoke, Spike carried her into the house, kicking the door shut behind him.
“Bedroom’s the second one on the left.”
Spike carried her into the room and dropped her on the bed, shucking his long, leather coat before he was on her, kissing her. She writhed beneath him, moaning into his mouth.
A stray thought popped into her head, and Buffy smirked against Spike’s lips. He felt it and pulled back to look at her. “What?”
“I was just thinking it would be nice to actually have good sex in this bed for once.”
Spike smirked at that as well. “Getting a kick out of me fucking you in the bed you shared with your husband, are you?”
“Little bit, yeah.”
“Vindictive bitch,” Spike said in a teasing tone as he kissed the tip of her nose. She giggled and the sound made Spike smile. “I missed you today. So bloody much.”
“Did you?”
“Yeah. I regretted it all as soon as you left, but it was nine o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t go after you for hours. Drove me up the sodding wall.”
“So daylight and vampires really aren’t big with the mixing?”
“No. Direct sunlight makes me burst into flames.”
“Ouch.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Well, we can work around that,” Buffy said, her hand against his cheek.
“I’m glad you want to.”
“I’m glad you do, too.”
“Doesn’t feel like I have much of a choice.” Spike shook his head. “I don’t know how you managed to do this to me, luv, but I feel like I need you more than I need blood. My body craves you constantly.”
“I don’t want to try to figure out why anymore,” Buffy told him. “I don’t want to think at all. I just want to feel.”
Spike pressed his denim-covered cock against the apex of Buffy’s thighs. “I can make you feel, baby. I can make you feel all sorts of things.”
Buffy reached between them, her fingers tugging at his belt. She growled in frustration when she fumbled. Spike chuckled, amused. “Want something, kitten?”
Her hand slid down and gripped the bulge in his jeans. “That. I want that.”
“How convenient. He wants you, too.”
Buffy smiled at him, feeling her nervousness lessen. Spike was acting like himself again, or at least how he had acted before he’d freaked out on her. She liked this, liked how comfortable it made her feel around him when he was being playful and sexy at the same time. Things were normal again, like that other thing hadn’t happened at all.
“So can I have him then?”
“You know, you have absolutely no patience at all.”
Buffy pouted. “But I’m all empty…”
Spike shivered, her words and that irresistible little pout of hers making him rock hard. “And you want me to fill you up?” he asked, his voice dropping and covering her with goosebumps.
“Only you can.”
Spike’s eyes grew darker with lust, a low growl rumbling through him before he pulled her face to his and kissed her. They both lost the need to speak, communicating with their bodies instead, rolling on the bed with hands pulling desperately at clothing, a unifying desire between them to remove the barrier.
They ended up with Spike on his back and Buffy straddling his hips. She sank down on his cock, crying out in relief when she was indeed full again. He rested his hands on her hips, letting her set the pace, have control – something she couldn’t remember having happened in that particular bed before.
She felt better now, and not just from the sex itself. She felt as if she was exorcising what remained of Riley while moving on to something new with Spike. For the first time in years, she had a real future, something to look forward to. She was starting over, heading into something that was fresh, without the monotony her life with her husband had been.
Buffy looked down at Spike, finding it had to believe he was, in fact, dead. He seemed more alive than anyone else she knew, his eyes so bright and vibrant. The words came before she fully thought about them. “You feel alive to me.”
He blinked, then smiled softly. “With you, I am.”
Thanks to all of you for the huge response I got for the last chapter. It was so nice to see so many people are really getting into this story. It makes me want to write it even more…