Maybe she should just actually go to work. That would give her some time to work out the kinks and then she could come back later and hopefully be up for more…
Spike was still asleep beside her, and Buffy slipped quietly out of the bed, hoping she could at least start getting ready without him.
Only to cry out in pain and crumple down to the floor.
Immediately, Spike was awake, searching the room for her. “Buffy?!”
“I’m down here,” Buffy said. She sighed. “My legs hurt. I… God, I think I actually can’t walk.”
Spike jumped out of the bed and ran to her, kneeling down to inspect her leg. “Do you need a doctor? Should I…”
Buffy held up her hand. She could just picture trying to tell a doctor she’d strained her legs from having too much sex… “No doctor. It’s not that bad. I mean, I think I could physically walk if I had to, the muscles are just really, really sore.”
Guilt flickered in Spike’s eyes. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry…”
“Don’t be sorry.” Buffy laughed despite the ache in her legs. “You fucked me so good I can’t walk, Spike. Soo not something to get all angsty over.”
“But I hurt you. I keep doing that. I know I was too rough last night. I…”
Buffy held her finger up and touched it to his mouth. “Be quiet with all of that. Last night was amazing. I’ve already said I like you being rough, and I mean it. I came so hard last night…fuck.” She shook her head, trying to keep herself focused on the present and not turn into a puddle of goo from thinking about what he’d done to her the night before.
“I shouldn’t be…”
“Spike, I swear, if you turn into some gentle, Harlequin style lover, I am so leaving,” Buffy grumbled. “Would you just help me to the bed and get me my cell phone from my purse, please? I need to call in sick.”
“Yeah, sure,” Spike said, biting back anything else about her physical state. He picked her up and set her on the bed, fluffing up the pillows behind her and tucking the blankets around her. “Better?”
“Yes, much,” Buffy said with her bright smile that always made him feel as if his heart was beating again. “Cell phone?”
“Right. I’ll be right back, lamb.” Spike kissed Buffy’s forehead, then walked over to the small table where she’d left her purse and looked for her cell phone. He found it quickly and brought it over to her.
“Thanks, honey,” Buffy said, still smiling at him. She didn’t want him to feel bad, nor did she want him to think he had to hold back or risk messing things up between them. She’d quickly gotten addicted to the intensity of their sexual relationship and couldn’t imagine things being any other way between them. She knew for Spike to be any gentler with her would mean he’d have to hold back, and that was the last thing she wanted.
“I am okay,” she assured him. “Really. So I’m a little sore. Totally worth it for how good you made me feel, Spike.”
“I like making you feel good, baby. I want to keep doing that. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know.” Buffy put her hand against his face and smiled at the way he nuzzled into her palm. “This is a little more sore than I wanted to be, but hey…I like it when you hurt me, Spike. I like it a lot.” She brought her hand down and smirked at him. “I want to rest up so you can hurt me again.”
“You really are okay with this, aren’t you, baby? With…with all of it…”
“I am. I don’t care what you are. And the things you do to me… I like them, Spike. I like it when you’re rough. I…I like it when you’re all growly and your eyes are yellow. I know you’re never going to hurt me too much.”
“How can you know that?” Spike asked, looking into her eyes. “How can you know that when even I’m not so sure?”
Buffy smiled at him again. “Because you love me.”
“That I do, sweetheart.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about at all. Now let me call work, and then I suppose I could let you pamper me for a while. You know, if it would make you feel better.”
Spike grinned at her. “It would make me feel much better, luv.”
Buffy’s insides trembled at the thought of Spike pampering her. Just another reason why she so couldn’t bring herself to be upset over her legs being sore. She turned on her cell phone and hoped this call could be quick.
Aside from the act that had gotten her in this situation in the first place, Buffy didn’t think she’d ever felt anything so good in her life. Spike had helped her into his big, Jacuzzi tub and was now soaking with her, his strong hands massaging her sore muscles as the water bubbled around them. He’d lit several candles as well, perfuming the room with a soft, calming fragrance.
Spike definitely knew how to pamper.
“Is this helping, sweetheart?” he asked as he pulled her back up against his chest and kneaded the tight knot in her shoulder.
“Mmm…” Buffy replied, too relaxed to be overly coherent. “’S very nice.” She smiled, her eyes shut as she just let herself feel. “You’re a good boyfriend.”
His chuckle rumbled through her body, giving her shivers despite the warmth of the water. “I’m not being completely selfless, luv. I want you fixed up so I can go back to shagging you.”
Buffy giggled. “Again proving that you are, in fact, the horniest man ever.”
“I won’t deny that.”
“Well, selfish motives or not, this is good,” Buffy said. “Makes me wish I could stay like this forever.”
“Stay with me forever?” Spike asked, his hand ghosting over her thigh beneath the water.
“As good as you make me feel…yeah,” Buffy said, feeling languid and barely awake from the soak and Spike’s touch.
Spike swallowed, his eyes centering in on her pulsing jugular. It would be so easy to make just that happen. All he’d have to do was drink and let her drink from him in return. He could keep her then, make her his for all eternity, the way he’d been Drusilla’s. She wouldn’t have to worry about Riley, or her job, or human muscles that couldn’t take the strain of days of lovemaking…
His demon roared to be let to the surface, his eyes flickering gold. He could make her his before she even knew what was happening...
And kill her in the process.
It was the last thought that snapped Spike out from the moment. He shook his head, forcing his demon to stay back. He couldn’t allow himself to truly be that selfish, to take Buffy’s life from her just because he wanted it all. She’d shown a definite reluctance towards the idea when she’d first found out the truth, and despite what she’d just said, he really doubted she’d changed her mind. A half-awake, romantic uttering was not a request to be turned – something Spike knew many other vampires had learned the hard way and not a mistake he was going to make with Buffy.
Still, now the idea was too prominent in his mind, along with thoughts of how beautiful her demon face would be and how good it would feel to have her fangs in his flesh, to allow her to drink from him, too, when they made love.
He got up from the tub suddenly, making Buffy’s eyes dart open as she looked at him in surprise. “Where are you going?”
“You’ve got to be getting hungry, luv, and I don’t have any food in the house. I should call someplace for delivery. Is it too early for pizza? What do humans eat at this hour anyway? I could get sandwiches… There’s a good sandwich place around here that delivers.”
“Spike, is everything okay?” Buffy asked.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. You just need to eat. It’ll get your strength back up.” He rushed out of the bathroom, leaving Buffy alone in the water.
She leaned back on the tub, a frown on her face. Something was definitely up with Spike more than him thinking she needed lunch, and she started going over in her mind what it could possibly be.
The weirdness had started right after she’d started talking about “forever.”
For Spike, being together forever wasn’t just a figure of speech or a romantic notion, something she hadn’t been thinking about when she said it. If they really wanted to be together forever, they could be – only from the way Spike darted out of there, she felt like maybe he didn’t.
Did he only love her because he knew it was, relative to his lifespan at least, a fleeting thing? Did he love her enough to be willing to spend her human life with her, but balked at the idea of anymore of a commitment than that? That hadn’t seemed like the case before, but maybe now…
Was he upset because he’d seen how weak she could be today? Was he starting to see a downside to loving her? Was he afraid this would happen often and he wouldn’t be having sex with her as regularly as he wanted? He’d had an erection the whole time they’d been in the tub. Was he upset with her because he wanted sex now and she wasn’t giving it?
And what if this did keep happening to her? She told him she didn’t want him to stop the rough sex and she’d meant it, but what if she couldn’t physically keep up with it and he had to stop on account of her weakness? While there was a definite emotional component to what they had, so much of their relationship had been based on their physical connection. If they had to change that, would his feelings for her change as well?
Buffy felt a tear slip down her cheek as her fears that she wouldn’t be enough for him grew. Would he grow tired of her and seek a stronger, more durable lover?
Would he go back to wanting a vampire? And if he did, would he want that vampire to be her, or someone else? And would she even want to be a vampire in order to allow their relationship to continue?
She tried to get out of the tub, only to give up when he legs hurt too much for her to be able to pull herself up. Her tears turned into ones of frustration, and she hated feeling so helpless and weak. She wanted to be strong enough to Spike. She wanted to be his equal.
Spike walked back into the bathroom and immediately saw the tears on her cheeks. “Luv, are you okay?” he asked as he rushed to the side of the tub.
“I can’t get out,” she said, loathing the pathetic sound of her own voice.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” Spike said as leaned in to help her out, not caring as water splashed onto the jeans he’d just put on. He wrapped her up in a large, thick towel and held her against his chest. “I wasn’t going to leave you in there, kitten. I promise.”
“I know, it’s just that I’m all weak, and I can’t…” Buffy tried to force herself to stop sniffling. “I’m sorry I’m so pathetic, Spike.”
“Pathetic? How are you pathetic?”
“I hurt myself having sex,” she said, her voice small.
“Happens to the best of us, baby,” Spike said before kissing the crown of her head.
“Yeah, but if you were with another vampire, you’d probably be able to have sex right now, and I’m just keeping you from getting laid.”
“Is this about what I said in the tub? Because I was joking, kitten. Really. I’m perfectly content just holding you. There doesn’t always have to be sex.”
“It’s not that. It’s just…” Buffy sniffed. “You ran out of here so fast, and I thought I must be upsetting you or something.”
“Oh, sweetheart, no,” Spike assured her, tightening his arms around her. “Not at all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Are you done with the bath now?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s get you all settled in the bed then. The food should be here soon, and hopefully, that will make you feel better, too.”
Buffy nodded against his chest and let him carry her into the bedroom.
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