Spike was snuggled against Buffy’s back, both his arms wrapped around her, keeping her as close as possible despite the heat in the room that had both their bodies coated in a slick sheen of sweat. His peaceful sleep was harshly disrupted by a persistent noise. *’S the bleedin’ phone!* He tried to roll towards the sound, but his arm underneath her refused to let go, having gone numb from spending hours cradling her.
Ignoring the pins and needles in that limb, Spike stretched to his other side as much as he could without moving her and with his fingers managed to draw the offending device and wrap his palm around it, inwardly beseeching it to *shut the fuck up!*
Finding the mute button on Buffy’s cell he turned towards her again, holding the now buzzing phone near his hip as he gently placed a kiss on her shoulder.
“Pet? Yer phone’s ringin’.” Seeing her only response was a mumbled ‘five more minutes’, he nuzzled her hair, and nibbled on the side of her neck.
“Mmm…” Buffy purred, wriggling her bum against his groin – erection ever present – “Set it to snooze?” She refused to be brought back to wakefulness by any means other than Spike-lips and Spike-hands roaming her body… *or Spike-cock…* With that thought she drifted back into the dream the beeping and the hot man behind her had began pulling her from; a dream of said man doing very naughty, exquisite things to her body.
“Not the alarm clock, pet!” Spike could feel her breath become more even again as she slipped through the threshold and back into dreamland. “Cell phone’s ringin’.” He made a final plea, remembering how her sister had reacted when he’d picked up the phone so many nights ago, yet knowing not answering the phone would result in at least three people getting worried. *’S a bloody cell phone, look at the bleedin’ screen…* He suddenly felt like smacking his forehead for not having thought of it sooner.
Thankfully both hands were occupied; one holding the still vibrating phone, the other having regained some sensation, idly stroking as much of the golden flesh within its grasp as possible. *I shouldn’t look at the screen. ‘S not right, what with ‘respectin’ a bird’s privacy’ an’ all that rot…* The British gentleman inside him warred with curiosity and just the tiniest hint of jealousy *Her folks would be callin’ the home phone.* he mused. *Bugger it! She’s my woman!*
He brought the candy pink slider phone up and grinned like a kid when he saw the word ‘Whelp’ flashing at him. *Tha’s my girl!* He suppressed a chuckled and adopted a somber voice, sounding much sleepier and grouchy than he really felt “Oi, Whelp, wha’s with the wakin’ service?”
A whispered ‘Spike, man, I need help’ was all it took for Spike to give up on his plan of pretending to still be asleep and get off the line so he could indulge in some Buffy-play-time.
“Wha’s wrong? Where are you?” He was already off the bed, the way he withdrew from Buffy having woken her in a much less pleasant manner than what she’d become used to as of late. He held up his free hand to keep the questions shining in her eyes quiet, and saw her frown in worry when he mouthed ‘Xander’ to her.
The fact alone that he had used their cousin’s real name was troubling her even more than the way he’d jarred her whole body when he’d pulled his arm from under her, letting the warm air send chills down her sweaty back. Turning fully towards him and bringing the sheet around her in an effort to replace the warmth of his body, she propped herself up on an elbow, head resting in her palm as she tried to read his reactions. He seemed visibly more relaxed after a couple of minutes so she slyly let the sheet dangle a bit lower, revealing one pert nipple.
Still Spike seemed oblivious to her, his eyes now turned to the floor. “So nothin’s wrong then?” Pause “You sure?” Pause. Frown. “Alone? Why?” Pause. Smirk. Sigh. Chuckle… Pause “A’right, I‘ll meet you there in an hour.” Looking up he saw Buffy arching an eyebrow and let his eyes blatantly glide over her, focusing on the exposed pink bud as he hastened to amend “Make that two, Whelp!” before hanging up and jumping back into bed.
~~~~*~~~~
Spike regretted having to wash Buffy’s scent off his clammy skin, as he got under the shower, but he knew he had to, unless he wanted to walk through the whole town looking like he had a ‘Just Shagged’ neon sign flashing on top of his head.
Xander had sounded desperate at first, but his half-formed explanations as to the urgency of the situation had given Spike a pretty good idea of what was wrong, and that was nothing un-fixable!
~~~~*~~~~~
A quick shower and an even quicker struggle into his clothes still had him arrive half an hour late at the Espresso Pump, where Xander was already sitting at a corner table, sucking on a straw now only one inch deep in chocolate milkshake.
Spike almost chuckled at the image of melancholy that greeted him, before chiding himself. *Don’ be a poncy bugger! You have it even worse than he does!*
“Sorry ‘m late, mate. Had to make Goldilocks her coffee.”
Xander shrugged, still concentrating on the last of his milkshake before talking around the straw, still not lifting his head.
“So, you goin’ to tell me wha’s gotten you drownin’ your sorrows, or did I just leave my bird home all alone at the crack of dawn to watch you snifflin’?” He asked as he pulled a chair at the opposite side of the table.
That got a reaction out of the other boy who looked up at him eyes blazing “I’m not sniffling, William!” he barked. “And crack of dawn? It’s three in the afternoon!”
“Oi, no need for name calling!” Spike chuckled, showing his cousin he meant no offense. “Well? Wha’ happened? You an’ Red had a fight, I gathered.” *Though if he was whisperin’ when he called me he mus’ have still been with her.* Spike raised his eyebrow. “D’ya put your foot in your mouth?”
“No… Didn’t put anything… anywhere!” He sighed dramatically. “It was the exact opposite—the lack of any putting-ness that is the problem, Captain Peroxide!”
Spike didn’t even feign offense, seeing as where Xander was going with all of this… Or so he thought!
“Oh, you an’ Red haven’…” He completed his question non-verbally, pushing the forefinger of his left hand through a circle formed by the thumb and index of his right one.
“No, man, nowhere close to that, just some through-the-clothes gropage. Nothing major! Oh! And she showed me her tits once… well, actually I walked in on her as she was changing into her pj’s.”
“So, you’re not getting’ any.” Spike stated matter-of-factly “No need to be a wanker ‘bout it! D’ya pressure the bird and get told off, then?”
“No, S-p-i-k-e-“ the way Xander’s eyes flashed and he drawled out the blond’s name had Spike jump back a little and lift his palms in the air. “-I didn’t do anything! I didn’t know what to do!”
“You mean Red…” he trailed off, allowing his cousin to tell him what he suspected.
In a shaky voice, Xander embarrassedly told his cousin how Willow had snuck her hand inside his pants in his sleep early that morning, and how he had squeaked and pulled away as soon as he was awake enough to realize what was going on. “Oh, and she was completely naked under the covers!”
“You bloody pillock! You turned down a bird tha’ was givin’ you a hand job while starkers an’ in bed?” Spike could no longer contain the roaring laughter that spilled from his throat. He shook his head from side to side in disbelief once he got his breath back under control. ”Un-bleedin’-believable!” He snorted.
“Had enough laughing at my expense?” The butt of the joke glared. “Now can you help me make this up to her? I mean she left the bed and locked herself in the bathroom man! I almost had to break down the door to get her to come out!” His fists were clenched as he fought down the terror at the possibility of losing his girlfriend. “She thought I was upset with her, that I didn’t want her for crying out loud!” He buried his face in his hands and mumbled “How could I not? I told her, I told her I didn’t know what to do… She’ll think I’m… a ‘ponce’!” The sob that accompanied the last word made it impossible for Spike to comment on the hilarity of the situation. Instead, he settled for a more neutral joke.
“Lesson the first.” He said gravely and Xander eagerly raised his head. “Never try to take down the bloody door!” He pointed to his scarred eyebrow and gained a smirk from his cousin. “Seriously, though, you probably did all ya could under the circumstances an’ all. An’ I think I know how you can make it up to her!”
Certain he now had the other’s full attention, he went on. “See, in two days it’s our one month anniversaries, right?” Seeing the blank look directed at him he explained. “Red firs’ called you her boyfriend and firs’ time Buffy an’ I… well… got together. An’ that is one month ago the day after tomorrow. So what d’ya say we take the chits out to dinner. Each his own, I mean. ‘Course there’s only one fancy restauran’ in Sunnydale, but we’ll make do! Then we can all meet at the Bronze for some dancin’ and end up at that posh hotel I saw on my way in to town.” He winked. “Separate rooms, Whelp, don’ go gettin’ any ideas.”
“I’m all for the wining and dining them, man! If nothing else, celebrating an anniversary will show Willow that I do want to be with her. Heck, I’m all for the Bronzing too, but the hotel? I think that’d be silly! I mean we have our own place, and so do you!
“Don’ be such a Scrooge, mate! Don’t you wanna pamper your chit? I know I wanna make that night special for Buffy.”
“No, it’s nothing like that, it’s just that we’ve never—either of us—been there before, so, you know… she may not feel comfortable in a strange hotel room.”
“Don’ wanna make it too obvious then? Right! We’ll jus’ have to fix your place up so that it’s all nice an’ romantic, yeah?”
“When? If we’re out at the same time and then at the Bronze…”
“Tell you what. We’ll get the restaurant reservations with half an hour difference, and Buffy and I will go and … decorate for you. Jus’ be sure to make her wait until you’ve had a chance to go to the bedroom and light the candles.”
Xander thought about it for a couple of minutes, before nodding approvingly. “But I still don’t know what to do.”
“’S not like I had a bloody manual, Whelp, you’ll figure it out!”
Puppy-eyes pleading, Xander pressed on “But you have experience now. Can’t you at least give me some pointers?”
“Not rightly gentlemanly of me to be tellin’ you what me an’ your cousin do in bed now, is it?” Spike asked pointedly. *Some o’ them not in bed an’ mos’ of them not for your delicate ears, mate!* “Wan’ me to find you some porn on the ‘net?” he offered.
“Spike, I know my porn, alright? I just doubt Willow would appreciate being twisted into all those weird positions.” He giggled, feeling much lighter now that the sense of impending doom had been lifted from his shoulders thanks to his cousin’s idea.
“A’right, I’ll give you a couple of hints, but no more than that.” Spike sat back and took a deep breath. “Firs’ off, don’ be carryin’ any condoms on you, you’ll look like a git. Make sure you have lots of them stashed near the bed, not where she can see them. Have a good wank before you ‘ave sex or you won’ last a minute and-” Spike blushed as he remembered how hard he had tried to control himself his first time with Buffy. “-ya have to take it slow, an’ be gentle about it. Pay attention to her breasts with your mouth and prepare her with your fingers… no sudden movements though. When she’s all wet an’ ready, enter slowly, li’l at a time an’ wait until she relaxes. Don’ know much about maidenheads, but at all times pay attention to her responses. Don’ wanna hurt the girl more than you ‘ave to, right?” After Xander’s solemn nod he continued “When she seems to breathe harder and tighten around your cock, that means she’s close. Use your fingers on her clit in circles.” As an afterthought he asked, “You do know where her clit is, right?”
“I told you, I know my porn.” Xander blushed an impossible shade of red that would have put Willows hair color to shame.
“Right, so tha’s it. Ever tell either of the birds we talked about this an’ I’ll drain your blood. Clear?”
“Yes sir!” Xander cheerfully saluted.
“I’m off then. I’ll make the reservations! Oh, an’ get Red some flowers on your way home. Works like a charm!” Spike said getting off his chair. “Talk to you later Whelp, an’ don’ worry, Red loves ya.”
~~~~*~~~~
Thankful he’d taken Buffy’s spare keys with him, Spike quietly let himself in the house, making a beeline for the kitchen phone, taking the Yellow Pages from the bottom drawer next to the sink on his way.
Finding the number he was looking for, he quickly dialed. “Hello, I’d like to make two separate reservations for two, for the day after tomorrow, at around eight o’clock.” He told the lady on the other end of the line in his more cultivated William-esqe British accent. “That is correct, two reservations.” Pause ”Yes, two tables for two separate couples, only make one of them at eight under the name Harris, the other at, say, eight thirty under Giles.” Pause “Thank you, have a nice afternoon.”
Looking through the heavy book once more he dialed again. “Hello, I’d like to make a reservation for the day after tomorrow.” Pause “At around eleven thirty?” Pause “Great! The name is William Giles—no, make that under Elizabeth Summers.” *Can’t bloody well give ‘em a minor’s ID, now, can we?* “Thank you… Oh, and I have a request…”
Rubbing his hands together gleefully when the call was over and he was able to procure his special request, he went to look for his girl, finding her in the basement gym.
It didn’t take long for Spike to calm her down, though he had to tell her the exact problem and a part of his proposed solution, including her involvement in it.
“Spike, I can’t help my little cousin get laid! And neither should you!”
“Now pet, tha’s not fair! He helped both of us get laid, din’t he?” His smirk and eyebrow-waggling earned him a playful swat on his upper arm.
“But he’s my little cousin, as in I’ve changed his diapers—well not really, but still ewww!!!”
“Buffy, he’s my age and he loves Red.”
The seriousness in Spike’s voice left no room for argument, so Buffy found herself reluctantly condoning the plan.
~~~~*~~~~
Much, much later they were both dragging their feet upstairs, legs feeling like they were made of rubber. The only thought in Buffy’s mind was *I knew that power plate thingy had to be useful for things other than hanging clothes on!*
Spike thought he could still feel the vibrations conveyed to him earlier through Buffy’s body as he entered her again and again while she kneeled on the work-out machine. *Note to self: write power-plate’s inventor a ‘thank-you’ note!*
Neither bothering with a shower, they snuggled in each other’s arms when they made it to bed. As Buffy stroked his cheek, her love for him reflected in her eyes, Spike innocently asked “What say, you an’ I go out the day after tomorrow, too?”
“Sure baby. But what is with the day after tomorrow? First the Xander and Willow sex thing–which still… ewww, and now this. Why not tomorrow?” She gave him that adorable little frown she knew would get her what she wanted.
“Well, cuz tomorrow it won’t be our one month anniversary, will it?”
Spike looked crestfallen she didn’t remember and Buffy rushed to salvage the situation the best way she knew how. She pouted. “Oh, I knew that!” When Spike merely raised an eyebrow she went for female guile number two; faked offense “What? I really did!” followed by a swift change of topic “So, where are we going?”
“Not sayin’! All you need to know is it’ll be someplace fancy!” He nibbled at the corner of the smile that had just made an appearance on her face.
“’Kay!” She just knew she had to buy something special for the occasion, and not only to make it up to him for forgetting their anniversary, *though it’s not formally forgotten till the day’s gone by, so I wasn’t all in the wrong here!* she rationalized before leaning close to his ear and whispering, “And whatever should we do between now and then?”
Spike growled, playfully attacking her throat as he turned them and covered her naked body with his. “Oh, I bet we’ll think of something, kitten!”
Buffy giggled and pulled his head back by the unruly curls. “Ohhh, wanna talk about how we’ll fix Willow’s place up for the guys? Or – I know! – dye your hair? Roots are showing!” Her eyes were wide with mock innocence.
Spike looked at her thoughtfully for a long enough time as to make her worry he had actually taken her suggestion on passing time seriously. “Nope!” He popped the ‘p’ the way she did, before he slid inside her.
tbc.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please let me know if you liked it! *bats eyelashes* My muse really needs it!
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I want to thank all of you who are still with me, and send you each a big hug! The muse has been in kind of a vegetative state after some stuff that happened, but he will hopefully be up and biting again long before the chapters I've written run out. I also wanna thank whoever it was that nominated my ficlet "Resolutions are for Suckers" at the SpuffyAwards. I don't know who it is, but their timing was perfect!Thanks with chocolate-covered Spikes to Im_bloody_English, for putting up with me, my mood-swings and the messes that are my chapters before she works her magic on them, Darkrivertempest - who dares call me her naughty twin - for going out of her way to boost my mood and for letting her mind live next to mine on the gutter, to Dusty273 for being a sweetheart, and to Katkin, although she's been a stranger lately.PS. If anyone follows my "If Wishes were Spikes...", the third and final part will be up tomorrow!