Part Thirty: She Is My Sin
I love you.
No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.
Buffy helped Spike up to his feet, drawing in the feeling of his hand in hers. Marvelling that he actually stood before her – alive.
Alive… and breathing?
This was surely not in the brochure.
Does it really matter? He’s here. In front of you.
You’re right…
Buffy stared in amazement at the man she thought she never would see again.
He was beautiful…
“I love you,” she whispered.
Buffy tried to hold back the tears that ached to come as she gazed up at the silent man.
Here we go again…
The rejection.
The pain of letting my feelings known to the world and getting them thrown back in the face.
The humiliation when he answers with those words. ’No, you don’t…’
Remind me why we’re doing this again?
She closed her eyes and braced herself for the response.
“Yeah, you do.”
What?!!
Buffy quickly opened her eyes and saw Spike smiling down at her. There was so much warmth… love in his eyes.
“I love you too.”
She melted.
He pressed her hand reassuringly and she stepped closer – all with the intention to kiss him into oblivion.
“Wait a minute!” protested Kara and ripped Buffy from Spike. “That’s my boyfriend!”
“Bad mistake,” muttered Dawn from her spot.
Buffy focused on the other slayer and a sneer appeared on her lips. Oh, she was so going down! No one interrupted her when she was about to reunite with the love of her life.
No one.
Buffy planted a fist in the other woman’s face and saw her tumble back with a grim smile.
Then the fight was one.
Jabs were traded. Hair was lost. Bruises were slowly showing. Nails ripped skin. Harsh words were exchanged. Kicks were delivered.
It was the catfight of all catfights.
In the end, Buffy stood victorious while Kara remained on the ground – licking her wounds.
“Who’s boyfriend?” asked Buffy and crossed her arms.
“Yours,” the beaten slayer said between clenched teethes. “All yours.”
“And if you lay a finger on him again I’ll rip your…” Buffy hesitated and thought silently to herself that the humiliation had gone far enough, “Just don’t come near him again. Okay?”
Kara got up on her feet and nodded submissively – before walking away.
Spike gazed after her with a strange expression on his handsome face.
“What?” asked Buffy defensively when he turned to face her. “So I got a little territorial?”
Territorial? You beat the living crap out of that poor girl!
She was messing with my man.
True. Okay, let’s just be glad that you didn’t kill her.
Exactly.
“She’s a good girl, Buffy,” Spike said silently. “She didn’t deserve this.”
Buffy pouted.
“It was her stupid wish that screw everything up in the first place!”
He frowned.
“What wish?” Pause. “She never got the chance to say it.”
Buffy’s eyes widened in shock.
Oh. OH…
He doesn’t remember…
Yikes…
“Buffy, what wish?” he repeated and sounded pissed off.
“You see,” she began and tried to calm him down with a sweet smile. Uselessly. “All three of us kind of made wishes. And we went back in time…”
“We travelled back in time,” he said with a impressive expression. “Go on…”
“Well,” Buffy drew in a deep breath. “You sort off never heard of slayers – so you didn’t kill anyone. Then you met Kara – who also had travelled back in time, and you fell in love with her.”
Spike simply stared.
“I fell in love with her?” Pause. “How?”
“I don’t know why!” Buffy grumped. “You just did – for mysterious reason if I may say so.” She scolded. “Still think that bitch did something to you.” Biting her lower lip. “So, back to the story; apparently you got your soul back for her…”
Spike protested at that.
“Whoa! I would never do that! I did that for you.”
“Well, you did.” Buffy met his gaze. “I tracked you down and managed to convince you that we knew each other – in the future that is.”
“Aha.” Pause. “Then what?”
Buffy hesitated.
“Then you died.”
Silence.
“Excuse me?”
Buffy swallowed.
“You died.”
“I died,” he repeated and blinked. “Again…”
She nodded.
He looked down at her with a frown.
“How did we end up… back in the future?”
“I made another wish,” Buffy admitted and lowered her gaze. “Right before I died.”
Another silence.
“You died?” He blinked. “Again…?”
Another nod.
“And I returned to the moment when I was about to make my wish – only I remembered everything that happened… that would happen if I made that wish.”
“So,” he said slowly, “you remembered everything? Even the fact that I obviously had been alive at the time you made the first wish?”
“Yes.”
“And you came looking for me.”
“U’huh.”
Pause.
“What was it?”
“Huh?”
“Your wish?” he met her gaze. “What did you wish for?”
“That I had the chance to go back and change things. So that… So that we could be together.”
Spike reached out a hand and traced a lonely tear that trailed down her cheek.
“Only that it made things worse.”
She nodded silently.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and closed her tightly to his chest. “It’s all my fault…”
She shook her head.
“No…”
He nodded grimly.
“If I only had let you know that I was alive you never would have made that wish.”
“True,” she admitted and looked up at him.
“And if I had…”
But before he could finish that sentence, Buffy silenced him with a kiss.
Buffy moaned as he deepened the kiss and she ran her tong over his full lower lip. He groaned and opened his mouth to give her full access, and she marvelled at the taste of him.
Lips of Spike…
Buffy explored and tasted his mouth like it was the first time, and so did he. His hands were now slipping under her shirt and circled over her bare back. Up and down over her spine, up…and down.
He still touch me like I’m the centre of his universe…
Those hands: They made her shiver with desire, and she tried to pull him even closer, desperate to feel every inch of him. Afraid that he might disappears if she ever let go.
Her hands started wondering around underneath his shirt and he gasped when she run her fingers over his abdomen.
Then a coughing sound made them part from each other in shock.
Dawn looked joyous. And jealous. And maybe a little green…
“’nuf with the exchanging of saliva,” she said and shook her head. “We want to say hello to him as well, sis.”
Buffy stepped back as her sister and Willow both scooted forward to say their hello’s to Spike. He seemed generally pleased to see them all again.
When the ceremony was over, Buffy stepped closer to him again – suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of loss.
She remembered everything from her adventure – Spike did not. And that bothered her. She wanted him to be able to share her experience.
Buffy reached for his hand and he took it in his with a smile.
“Spike?”
“Yes?” He gazed down at her.
“Do you think you’ll ever remember?”
He remained silent for a while, watching the clouds pass by on the sky.
“Do you want me to?”
“Yes.”
He nodded.
“That’s understandable.”
The moment stretched on and Buffy got anxious.
“
Will you remember?”
He turned to her then.
“Give me time and I will remember,” he promised.
And Buffy believed him.
I remember everything…
Tbc…
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is actually the last chapter - believe it or not. But there will be ab epilogue - so don't fret. Thx for all the reviews that has inspired my to finish this off.
xoxo
xoxo