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Thx for the reviews!
It's not really Spuffy yet - but patience my dears - it will come.
Part Two: In The Fast lane

As the BMW roared down the street it attracted many jealous looks, as well as appreciative glances from the ladies and one or two occasional blokes that drove similar vehicles.

William turned on the radio and flipped through the channels ’til he found a station that met his approval. Tapping his finger against the steering wheel he sang along with the song.

I’m not a perfect person/ There’s many things I wish I didn’t do/but I continue learning/I never meant to do those things to you/and so I have to say before I go/that I just want you to know/I found a reason for me/to change who I used to be/a reason to start over new/and the reason is you… Buffy…

The car span without control when William suddenly lost his focus. Desperately he struggled to get it back on hold and when it finally did he let out a relieved sigh. God, what had he been thinking? And who the fuck was Buffy?

I’m sorry that I hurt you…

Images of a crying girl on a bathroom floor. Struggling against hands that were trying to rip her bathrobe open.

It’s something that I have to live with every day…

A man bursting through a door that looked like it belonged to a crypt(?). Glass shattering in his hands.

And all the pain I put you thru/I wish I could take it all away/and be the one that catches all your tears…

The same girl, once again crying, sitting on a bed in some unfamiliar bedroom. Her face… She was so beautiful. So endearing. So… effulgent. A strong male hand reached out to stroke away her tears.

That’s why I need you to hear/I found a reason for me/to change how I used to be/a reason to start over new/and the reason is you…

Thousands and thousands of imagines piercing his already messed up mind; a man - himself, walking through some kind of camp.
Battling big ugly nasties. Sharp pain.

The regaining of a lost soul. A long and withering trip back to a place called Sunnydale(?) - his memory was not adequate.

A dark basement. Crazy ramblings. Monsters in the darkness. Always the darkness. In the basement. In his soul.

Then there were light. Her. Buffy. The slayer.

He’d found his way back to her once more. And somehow, for some unexplainable reason she’d forgiven him.

Don’t hurt the girl.

God… he had hurt her so bad at one point.

Spike is a bad, bad man.

Buffy. Always Buffy.

Look at you - glowing. What does that word mean; glowing? Gotta rhyme.

William drove off to the side curve and cut the engine off. He turned off the radio and closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep the images from overwhelming him.

But it was too late. They came flashing by as a busy traffic lane, constant flow of pictures.

Cecily. Dru. Angelus. Angel. Darla. Death and destruction. The Chinese slayer. The dark skinned slayer in New York. Sunnydale. Buffy. The scoobies. Giles. Joyce. Dawn… Niblet.
That’s what he used to call her.

More images - memories(?);

The Initiative. The chip.

Willow’s spell that made him propose to Buffy.

Harmony.

That bitch of a god Glory.

'We’re not all gonna make it. You know that? '

'I always knew I would go down fighting.´

I’m counting on you. To protect her.´´

‘til the end of the world. Even if it happens to be tonight. ´´

Dawn crying on the top of a tower.
Him falling. Failing.

Buffy’s limp and broken body on the cement.

Her face… She’d looked so got damn peaceful. Like she’d found something in her death that she hadn’t been able to find in the real life. Maybe it was peace. Serenity. Maybe it was heaven.

The summer she’d been gone he and Dawn had grown closer.

Then Buffy returned from the dead.

The moment she’d come down those stairs…

The following memories were to bitter-sweet, to hurting to go trough.

Every night I save you…

And he had saved her. In the end he’d saved her. And the world.

William shock his head and sighed wearily.

Yeah - he had saved the world. And found peace. ‘til they brought him back again. To fight once more when he really had no strength left to fight.

First he’d been a soddin’ ghost, trapped at Wolfram and Hart, haunting its corridors and the employees - but most of all irritating that big poofter. Angel. The original vampire with a soul.

And that poor bastard had actually believed that he was fighting the good fight. In an attempt to find redemption. To get his Shanshu. A hopeless fight.

He’d died of course. Fighting against the assassins from Wolfram and Hart. He’d slayed his dragon but in the end they’ve been to many demons to fight.

They all had died.

Wesley, Gunn, that kid Connor, Lorne too… but what had happened to Illyria? He’d had no memories of her going down - or being alive for that way either.

All he remembered was that he’d been the only one left standing in the ruins, beaten and half unconscious.

And he’d know that he would die too. And he had relied that thought. To finally be at peace.
And he’d given in. Let the darkness get to him. But what had happened then? How come he wasn’t dead?

William lifted his head and took a good look around. Everything seemed like it should around him.

Cars, people - on their way to work and other destinations.

A blue sky and clear air.

The city had not been affected by the hordes of demons. Why not? What had stopped them from reeking havoc?

The earthquake…

It was a cover up!

But who…? The slayers and the new Watcher’s Council?

William opened the car door and stepped out in the sun. The sun…

His palms turned upwards and his eyes looked up at the clear blue sky. Day. To walk in the sun once more.

It was an amazing feeling. Now when he remembers who he was - who he had been he realized that it was simply a miracle.

He was human for god’s sake! Was it the Shanshu? Or something else?

He hadn’t found redemption after his heroic death in the hell mouth - but maybe, just maybe, by fighting the good fight at Angel’s side had done it for him?

As the sun warmed his body memories came rushing once more.

It felt strange. Like a tingly feeling all over. Around him vampires roared and girls were fighting for their lives. But all that he could think of was Buffy.

"Buffy!"

She registered his voice and snatched when she saw the reason to his call out.

"Spike!"

She ran to him. God, she was beautiful. She would always be beautiful. She stopped in front of him, and he could see that she was trying desperately to make sense of it all. And he suddenly realized that he needed her to understand.

"I can feel it, Buffy."

"What?" She barley got the words out. I’m so sorry my love.

He turned his head ever so slightly and their eyes meet.

"My soul. It's really there."

He lost focus for a moment and his gaze fixed on something indeterminable that he couldn't quite name or comprehend. But he thought that it perhaps was his salvation. And it was beautiful. Peaceful. And darn it - it hurt a little bit to.

"It kind’ a stings."

Chaos all around them. The other girls screaming. They're trying to escape. Everything was about to collapse on them. Rocks and debris falling down around them. Vampires vaporizing into nothing.

"Go on then."

He needed her to go. To stay alive. After all that’s what mattered to him. But she shook her head in despair.

"No! You’ve done enough. You still can..."

Oh, God, he'd done enough. He couldn’t agree more. But there was one more thing that he gotta do. And he did it for her.

"No... You beat them back. It's to me to do the clean-up."

He felt a twinge of desperation when he saw the stubbornness in her eyes. God damned you, Buffy. This is not the time to go all commando slayer on me!

"Got to move, luv. I guess it's safe to say that school's out for the bloody summer.”

"Spike..."

"Mean it. I got to do this."

He knew that she saw that he meant it. That there wasn't anything that she could do to make him change his mind. She reached out her hand to his. Fingers linking with each other. She holds on to his hand while it caught on fire.

"I love you."

He turned his head towards her, giving her a gentle glare as he was dying.

"No, you don't. But thanks for saying it."

I love you, Buffy. But you have to go now, luv. You have to live. For me.

He saw that she read his silent declaration of love in her eyes and felt at peace knowing that she would grant him this last wish. She would survive. So that one of them was living.

And suddenly something brought Buffy out of balance. The whole cave was shaking and trembling. About to collapse down on both of them. She looked at him helpless.

"Now go!"

She pulled her hand out of his and ran up the stairs. Leaving him to meet his destiny. Leaving him to die...

William… No, Spike, woke up from his trip down memory lane when he suddenly realized that his cell phone was ringing.

He reached into his pocket and brought it to his ear. When he heard who was on the other side of the line a smile appeared on his face.

“Hi, mum.”


Tbc...





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