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Chapter 10

Buffy looked at the clock on the wall of the hospital’s waiting room, and then, seconds later, she checked the display on her cell phone. Only thirty minutes had crept by since her mother had been taken to an examination room and Buffy could already feel tension gathering in the muscles of her neck and shoulders. She hated hospitals, and it made her more uncomfortable knowing that her mom was being poked and prodded by a troop of seemingly clueless doctors.

With a quiet groan, she stretched her back and rolled her shoulders. She straightened her legs out briefly and nearly stomped on the bag she had lying between her feet. The bag was stuffed with textbooks. She needed to study and had planned on using her so-called extra free time wisely, but she was too anxious to crack open a book. She couldn’t concentrate on science, math, and English while her life was so chaotic.

She wasn’t failing her classes at UC Sunnydale, not yet, but she knew it was becoming a likely possibility with every reading assignment she blew off. She was barely getting from paper to paper, from class to class, and she just couldn’t find the time to read between slaying vampires, hunting down Sunnydale’s latest monster of the week, helping a desperate Giles before the grand opening of the Magic Box, moving back into her mom’s house, losing sleep over her mom’s mystery illness, and completely losing her mind after learning the truth about her little sister.

Dawn hadn’t said more than a few words since they had entered the waiting room. Headphones covered her ears, but Buffy couldn’t hear any music coming from them. Her hands were tucked under her bent knees, and on her lap rested the ‘Get Well Soon’ teddy bear that she had insisted on buying for Joyce.

Buffy still had trouble believing that the girl next to her wasn’t her ‘real’ sister. She acted like her sister; their early morning run-in with Spike had definitely been proof of that. They shared birthmarks, blood, and memories. And they were sharing genuine concern for their mother. Buffy couldn’t imagine sitting in the waiting room alone, as an only child and without Dawn at her side.

But her memories of Dawn weren’t real either. Every birthday, every sibling rivalry, every report card—everything that everyone remembered concerning Dawn never really happened. She wasn’t Buffy’s sister, or Joyce’s daughter, or even fourteen years old. She was a green ball of energy; a potentially dangerous Key to all dimensions that an order of monks decided to hide in a human, sister-shaped treasure chest.

Only Buffy and Giles knew the truth. And Buffy wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. She couldn’t imagine how Dawn or how her mother would react to such unbelievable and life-altering information. She couldn’t bear being to blame for their heartache. Buffy was the reason Dawn existed. The monks created Dawn so Buffy would protect the Key without a second thought. Buffy sometimes wished that she didn’t love her sister so much just so she could prove the monks wrong. She wanted to teach them a lesson for messing with her family and friends’ emotions, but she couldn’t. Regardless of everything, Dawn was Buffy’s sister and she would protect her no matter what.

She’d even look to Spike for help. He was the strongest force she knew, when humans weren’t involved. Just one day into their arrangement, Buffy already felt relief from some of her stress. It amazed her how comforted she was by simply knowing that Dawn would be heading to Spike’s place after school instead of to their empty house. It should have amazed her further that she was letting her sister hang out in a crypt with a vampire for a few hours on schooldays, but she couldn’t gather up much apprehension, no matter how hard she tried. That feeling deep down in the pit of her stomach, her feminine intuition, her tingling Slayer sense—all that internal…stuff was telling her that Spike could be trusted.

But only when it came to Dawn, of course.

Or at least that was what she wanted to believe. She couldn’t accept that after three days Spike could go from being an enemy, to her sister’s bodyguard and finally, to something that kind of resembled a potential boyfriend.

While grimacing, she looked down at the cell phone in her fist. Spike and potential boyfriend; those words should never be in the same sentence.

But she was thinking about it. Her sister wasn’t talking, she wasn’t doing her homework, and thinking about Spike was better than worrying about her mom. So she thought about Tuesday night, Wednesday night, and Thursday morning. She mulled over the arguments and the kisses until she made a decision.

It would all stop.

Well, not everything, just the kisses mostly. And the touching. Definitely the running of her fingers through his hair…along his strong arms, chest, and shoulders…his smooth lower back—she’d put up an end to all of that. She’d never be alone with him again. She’d insist on keeping at least three feet of space between them at all times. And she’d make a point to be completely dressed around him; he wouldn’t be seeing her in her pajamas again. He wouldn’t be allowed into her room—he wouldn’t be allowed upstairs at all!

“Buffy, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Buffy said, instantly snapping out of her thoughts. “Why wouldn’t I be? Why do you ask?”

“You’re acting weird,” Dawn answered. “You’re looking weird. Were you thinking about Spike?”

“No, I—now why would you think that?” Buffy demanded. She didn’t remember anything in Giles’s books about the Key being able to read minds. “I’ve just been sitting here, minding my own business, and you’re accusing me of--.”

“Thinking about Spike,” Dawn finished for her. “Which you were. Are you guys a couple now?”

“No—God, worlds of no!”

“Oh. You’re fooling around.”

“No!”

“Then you’re leading him on? Okay, I can see why you’d want to, but do you really think that’s the best idea?”

“Dawn,” Buffy began through clenched teeth.

“What? Is there a better way to say it? You’re letting him think that he has a chance. You’re spending time with him--.”

“That’s because he won’t leave me alone. He’s practically stalking me. Every time I turn around--.”

“Maybe he wouldn’t be so eager to see you if you stopped kissing him, Buffy. He’s already in love with you. He’s madly, insanely, and freakishly in love with you.”

Buffy paused for a minute before asking. “Does he…talk about me? Does he—Dawn, does he ask about me?”

“Usually he wants to know if you talk about him.”

She let out a little groan, rolled her eyes and mumbled a quiet curse. “This entire conversation will be repeated to him, won’t it?”

“There’s a very good possibility.”

Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “You know, you’re supposed to be my sister. Would it be so terrible if you were on my side? Just once?”

“He’s cooler than you,” Dawn responded simply. She picked up the stuffed bear in her lap and examined its glossy eyes and black plastic nose.

“I see.”

“Do you?” Dawn turned to look Buffy directly in the eye. “Sometimes you can be so clueless.”

“About what?”

“Spike. Everything.”

“Oh, well, at least I’m consistent.” Buffy snatched the bear from Dawn’s hands and gave its stomach a squeeze. “Mom will like this.”

“How long has she been in there?”

“About an hour.” When her sister sighed and sunk more deeply into her chair, Buffy continued, “Want to go on a vending machine run?”

“Do you have change for a five?”

“I can give you some money,” Buffy said, reaching for her bag. “And you don’t have to pay me back. You know why? I can be just as cool as that annoying vampire. Cooler.”

“Oh, really?” Dawn snickered as she held out her hand, willing and ready to accept Buffy’s money. “You’ll have to try a lot harder than this. Spike’s British.”

“Just get me some M&Ms, brat.”

“Seriously, have you seen his cheekbones?”

“Dawn.”

She laughed off Buffy’s threatening tone. She even snorted twice, faced with Buffy’s scowl. “God, you’re the best.”

“Excuse me?” Buffy blinked. “Was that a compliment?”

“I was really worried about mom, but now I feel a lot better.”

“Because you’ve been teasing me?”

She nodded while flashing a small but wicked smile. “Now I know how to pass the time without feeling so miserable.”

“Instead, you’re going to make me miserable.”

“Exactly.”

Maybe the monks weren’t so clever after all. At the moment Buffy was more than just a little tempted to offer her sister to the nearest big bad.

“You know, he is coming over tonight,” Dawn continued.

“Oh. Oh, no,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “No way. I need a break. I need space. He can’t make a habit of just coming over whenever he pleases--.”

“It wasn’t his idea. Mom wanted to pay him for watching me—which, by the way, is completely unnecessary, I do not need a babysitter--.”

“Mom paid him?”

“She tried, but he refused. She insisted that he come over for dinner. She wants to pay him off with food I guess. See? A lot happens when you hide in your room all morning. We talked about it during breakfast.”

“Mom’s going to be tired after her appointment; she won’t want to cook…”

“We’re ordering in. Pizza. Mom said we can invite more people, but I’d rather just spend time with her, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

“Buffy… If you don’t want Spike to come over tonight, he’ll understand. Just give him a call.”

“Spike doesn’t—he has a phone? In his crypt?”

“He has a cell like everyone else on the planet. Do you want his number?”

“He actually pays for a cell phone? You have his number?”

“Buffy, come on, it’s not that unbelievable. Do you want his number or not? Or, do you want me to call for you?” Dawn asked with a mischievous grin.

“No. And promise me that you’ll never talk to Spike on my behalf. Ever.”

“Sure, I promise,” she snickered.

“Now, about my M&Ms…”

“Alright, I’m going, but first,” she found a pen in her purse and grabbed a hold of Buffy’s hand. Before she could be stopped, Dawn scribbled seven metallic pink digits onto Buffy’s skin.

“Dawn!”

“What? I didn’t have any paper.”

“But I did!” Buffy yanked her hand back and tried to rub the ink away. “Is this permanent?” she demanded when the marks failed to smear. “You wrote on me with permanent ink—what were you thinking?!”

“Buffy, it’ll wash off--.”

“Oh, it’d better.”

“It’s just ink. People write numbers and important stuff on their hands all the time.”

“When they’re in high school!”

“I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“You don’t look very sorry to me,” Buffy grumbled. “God, I need to wash this off.”

“You should call him first. Or not,” she added once Buffy shot a glare in her direction. “Want me to show you where the bathroom is?”

“I can find it, you just…just sit there and stay out of trouble.”

“What about your candy?”

“I’ll buy my own candy. Give me my money back. Do you want something?”

“I get something? I mean, I have a choice?”

“Mom will chew me out if I starve you—no matter how much you deserve it—so, what do you want?”

“Maybe some pretzels? Or Cheetos. Whatever. Thanks, Buffy.

“Don’t mention it.” Buffy put out her hand and seconds later, it was filled with the dollar bills that she had given Dawn moments before. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere, don’t talk to strangers, and find me once you hear anything from mom.”
***





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