William was huddling in the corner of his room, eyes closed, desperate to keep his mind on anything but what was really happening. If he would just be quiet and keep still, it would hopefully be over soon. As the blows hit him, repeatedly, he refused to cry out, refused to show any sign of pain, knowing that it was exactly what Ethan wanted. Finally the man took a step back and William held his breath, not daring to hope it would be over so soon.
“You know why I’m doing this?” He looked up then, shuddering at the cold look on Ethan’s face. Was he suppose to answer? He could never be sure of what Ethan wanted, he kept changing the rules every time. Now he raised his fist in a threatening manner, but didn’t strike. Instead he just repeated his question, calmly, like he was talking about the weather; “You know why I’m doing this?”
Right. Answering, then. William just nodded, then gasped as the fist hit him hard in the face. Ethan leaned closer and William swallowed when he realized that the wall kept him from pulling away. His stepfather got a smug look on his face. “I want to hear you say it. Why am I doing this?”
William inhaled, shakily. “Cause I’m bad.”
“That’s right.” Ethan looked pleased, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “You’ve been bad, so I have to punish you. Have to make sure you know your place. Do you understand?”
He nodded, then remembered what had happened last time he didn’t answer. “Yes.”
“Very good.” Ethan sounded almost friendly. Then the smile was gone. “Get up and get over to the bed.”
Startled, William stared at him. He shook his head, desperate not to let his fear show. “No…”
Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “What did you say?”
Swallowing, William looked him right in the eyes. “No. Please, I don’t want…” Another blow caused his head to snap back and hit the wall behind him and a wave of dizziness came over him. Though his sight had become slightly blurred, he could still see the furious expression on his stepfather’s face.
“You don’t get to speak unless I say so, is that clear?!” He didn’t bother to wait for an answer as he went on; “I said, get over to the bed.” Suddenly the man looked over his shoulder, speaking quietly to someone in the doorway; “Go back downstairs, I’ll be there as soon as I’m done here.”
William looked up, silently begging his mother to stay. Of course, she never did. But William knew she was aware of what her husband was doing almost every night, before he went to bed with her. A part of him wished that she wasn’t, her knowing only made him feel worse. Because it proved that what Ethan said was true; he did deserve this. Otherwise, his mother would never allow it. He closed his eyes for a moment, not wanting to see her turn around and leave. When he opened his eyes again, his mother was gone.
Spike jumped up, abruptly, vaguely aware of that someone was saying his name. For a moment he didn’t know were he was, looking around the room in alarm. He realized that he was shaking.
“Spike?” Buffy was on the floor next to him, her face a mixture of fear and concern. She reached out a hand towards him and he flinched back, causing her to freeze. “It’s me, it’s okay.”
She reached out for him again, and he backed away. “Don’t…”
Buffy frowned, but stopped. “Don’t what?”
He took a deep breath, trying to force himself to calm down. “Don’t bloody touch me!” She opened her mouth, then closed it again. For a moment she was quiet. “Don’t touch me,” he repeated, feeling his heartbeats slowly return to normal. It had just been a dream, no reason to freak out.
She remained where she was, but raised her hands in a none threatening manner, sort of like Spike had done when he had saved her from Angel outside The Bronze, almost a week ago. “I’m not gonna touch you.”
Spike nodded, relieved. Then realization hit him and he let out a groan. He was not supposed to have fallen asleep, but yet he had. Humiliation hit him as he realized that his nightmare had caused Buffy to wake up. What the hell had he been thinking, coming here? He glanced towards the door, seriously considering just getting up and run. He was aware of that Buffy was watching him, but refused to meet her eyes.
“Are… are you okay?” Her voice was barely more than a whisper as she kept staring at him with wide eyes.
“Sorry.” He still didn’t look at her. “Didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to sleep.”
“I…” Buffy swallowed. “No, it’s…” She remembered that Spike had mentioned something about nightmares when she had spent the night at his place, but by the look of it, and the way he was still slightly trembling, it was worse than she had imagined. And she had no idea what it was about. Suddenly she remembered something he had mumbled just before he had woken up. “Who’s Ethan?”
He did look at her then, and he looked startled. “What?”
“You said… in your sleep…” Buffy hesitated. “What happened to you?” Spike quickly got to his feet, starting to back away, and she got the feeling that if she didn’t stop him, he would run away and she would never see him again. “Wait, please…” She gave him a pleading look. “Talk to me.”
“About what?!” He sounded hostile, and Buffy found herself looking away. His temper still frightened her. When she didn’t say anything, he let out a bitter laugh. “Forget it, m’out of here.”
“No, wait, Spike…” She jumped up and grabbed his arm to prevent him from leaving. “You don’t have to go, just…”
He interrupted her, giving her a cold look. “Take your hand off me.”
Buffy released her grip on his arm, but instead of letting him go completely, she let her hand slowly run down his arm until she reached his hand and squeezed it gently. “Did someone hurt you?”
For a moment he just stared at her, then he pulled his hand away. “I’m leaving.” He glared at her, like he was daring her to object.
“But…” She wanted to beg him to stay, but stopped herself, realizing that nothing she could say right now would make him change his mind. So she just nodded. He gave her one final look before he turned around and disappeared out the door, leaving Buffy to stare after him with tears in her eyes.
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm going back to work in a few days, and then I probably won't be able to update as often as I have now. But I'll try, cause this story is far from over. I really appreciate every single review I've gotten so far, thank you all so much! Oh, and I wish you all a Happy New Year!