”However…” Ethan smirked when Spike was the first to look away, clearly pleased with the reaction. “That is not why I’m here. I was hoping we could have a somewhat civilized conversation. Of course, how that turns out is up to you.”
Spike snorted. “Like it’s always been, right? Up to me? Is that what you keep telling yourself to be able to sleep at night?”
“Oh, I’ve never had any trouble sleeping at night.” Ethan chuckled a little. “How about you?”
Spike was quiet for a moment. “She said she killed you.”
“What?” Ethan looked slightly taken aback. “Oh, I see.” He nodded. “In her little world, she probably did. Let’s just say your mother wasn’t all there in the end. Sad, really.”
“And whose fault is that?” Spike glared at him. “What did you do to her?”
“I didn’t do anything that bitch didn’t deserve.” Ethan got a cold look on his face, then started pacing the room. Finally he stopped. “Your mother was nothing but a whore, William. She was screwing around with other men, thinking I wouldn’t find out. Then she became pregnant.” He made a disgusted sound.
Spike swallowed, remembering what his mother had told him. “How do you know it wasn’t…?”
“Mine?” Ethan laughed. “That would be impossible. You see, I can’t have children. Drusilla knew that, and still she tried to convince me she had not been unfaithful.” In a sudden fit of rage, he slammed his fist hard into the wall. Then he turned back to Spike. “You see why I couldn’t let her go through with it?”
Spike didn’t answer. Instead he glanced at his watch. Buffy would probably be back any minute. A part of him wished she would just stay away a little while longer. Nothing good would come out of her walking in on this.
“If you hadn’t left, none of this would’ve happened.” Ethan wasn’t smiling anymore. Now he looked furious, and Spike realized that he meant every word. Of course Ethan would find a way to blame him for his mother’s actions, no matter how ridiculous it may be. The man needed someone to blame and, as always, he had gotten the shortest straw. It wasn’t fair, but then again, when had anything in his life ever been?
Things were different now, though. He didn’t need to take this crap anymore. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked Ethan straight in the eyes. “You don’t get to do this anymore. We’re done talking. Get out of here, or I’ll call the cops.” He paused. “I mean it.”
Ethan met his eyes, calmly. “Unless you want me to pay your girlfriend a little visit, you will do no such thing. Because I can assure you, I’d have no problem finding out where she lives.”
Spike stared at him, clenching his fists. “You stay the bloody hell away from her, or…” He wasn’t prepared for the sudden blow, hitting him straight in the face, and gasped in shock. Bringing his hand up to his nose, he felt the warm blood trickling down between his fingers.
“You may fool yourself into thinking that things have changed, but you are wrong,” Ethan all but snarled. “I will always be the one in charge, and you will do as I say. You think I’m bluffing, regarding that little whore of yours? Believe me, I’m not. And when I’m done with her, I will come back. Then you’re going to wish I’d killed you both.”
Swallowing hard, Spike desperately tried to keep his voice from trembling. “Not if I kill you first.”
For a moment, Ethan looked genuinely surprised. Then he seemed to snap out of it, and laughed. “I believe we are done here for now. I will leave, but don’t think for a second that I won’t be back.” He started towards the door, then stopped, turning to look at Spike over his shoulder. “We’re going to finish this conversation, William, and when we do, I’ll make sure you know your place.” With that, he gave Spike one last look before turning around and left the apartment.
Spike let out the breath he had been holding and slid down to the floor. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling like was going to be sick. However, that feeling soon submitted to fury. He had wanted to smash Ethan’s face in, hurt him the way that bastard had hurt him so many times over the years. But instead he had just stood there, frozen, unable to move. One look at Ethan’s cold face and he had been reduced to a terrified child. And he hated it, because he had promised himself that he would never be that person again.
He didn’t know for sure how long he sat there on the floor, but finally he got up and headed to the bathroom to clean himself up. Once again Ethan had managed to hurt him, and he hadn’t been able to do anything to defend himself. He looked into the mirror, grimacing at the sight of his red, swollen nose. Ethan was right after all; nothing had changed. He was still the same weak, pathetic loser he had always been. And he feared that he would never be strong enough to finally stand up for himself against that man.
Then he thought about his mother, and how she had chosen to handle the situation. He didn’t know what Ethan had said or done to her, but he remembered the look on her face when she had practically begged him not to walk away from her. She had been terrified, although he hadn’t realized it then. Now he rolled his eyes, knowing it was a lie. The truth was; he simply didn’t care. He had just wanted to get to Buffy, and his mother’s unexpected visit had been nothing but an inconvenience. If he had just stayed for a moment and listened to what she had to say…
Don’t go there, mate, he told himself, firmly. His mother had never done anything for him, and he sure as hell didn’t owe her anything. If she couldn’t handle things and felt the need to take the easy way out, that was her problem, not his. For as long as he could remember, she had never cared about anyone but herself. Still, now he couldn’t help but feeling guilty. He supposed he was just used to take the blame for everything, but he couldn’t quite shake off the disturbing feeling that if he hadn’t left London in the first place, his mother would still be alive.
“Spike? I’m back, hope you’re hungry!”
The sudden sound of Buffy’s voice, coming from the other room, snapped him out of his thoughts and he froze in his tracks. He hadn’t heard the door open, but he supposed it was safe to say that his mind had been elsewhere. Now he took a deep breath, hoping his voice would sound normal. “Be right there, pet!” He glanced into the mirror one last time, relieved to see that his face didn’t look so bad after all, once the blood was gone. With any luck, Buffy wouldn’t even notice. Deciding to put the whole thing with Ethan to the back of his mind for now, he finally left the bathroom. Buffy wouldn’t need to know.
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I seem to have beaten the writers block for now, probably partly thanks to your wonderful reviews. Please keep them coming, makes both me and my muse very happy! :)