The problem was, she couldn’t think of any other solution. As long as Ethan was out there, Spike would never be able to truly move on with his life. And no matter how much Buffy wished she could just kill that monster for everything he had put her boyfriend through over the years, she knew that was not an option. Which meant; there was only one thing left to do. She had to make sure Ethan would finally get to pay for his crimes and end up behind bars, where he belonged.
Even if Ethan wouldn’t have threatened to hurt her, Buffy suspected that Spike would never go to the police and tell them what his stepfather had done to him, mainly for two reasons. One – even though he had to know deep down that none of it had been his fault, a part of him would always be ashamed of what happened. And two – Spike was probably painfully aware of the fact that there was no way of proving anything after all these years; there would just be his words against Ethan’s.
The mere thought that Ethan would never be punished for what he had done made Buffy feel sick. How could the world be so twisted that a man capable of raping and beating a little boy, countless times over the years, was able to get away with it? Well, Ethan wouldn’t get away with it much longer, she would make sure of that. She just had to pray that Spike wouldn’t find out what she was planning, which was very unlikely since they were both supposed to be at work today.
She hated the idea of keeping things from Spike, especially something as serious as this, but she felt like she didn’t have much of a choice. He simply wouldn’t understand; in fact, even if she would have tried to explain her plan to him, Buffy knew he would most likely refuse to even hear her out. Not that she could really blame him, of course; she knew that this plan of hers was crazy, not to mention dangerous. And she also knew that Spike would rather die than let her put herself in any kind of danger.
Tonight, though, when it was over, she would tell Spike everything. But right now, she needed to do this. Because it was just killing her inside; not being able to do anything but watch while the man she loved more than her own life was suffering, and she didn’t think she could take it much longer. By now she could feel Spike’s pain as if it was her own, and the only way she could think of to make it stop was to get rid of Ethan, once and for all. Because, just like Spike had said, the man wouldn’t just give up and leave by himself.
So, that’s why she was now standing here, right outside the bastard’s motel room. She knew she wouldn’t be able to go to the police and prove to them what Ethan had done, any more than Spike could. Unless she could find a way to get some proof. And the only thing that would possibly, hopefully, be accepted as proof after all this time was a confession. Of course, Ethan may be evil but she didn’t think he was stupid; he would never willingly admit anything to the police. So, she needed him to confess to her, without being aware of it. Or, to be more accurate; not being aware of the fact that she was planning to get it all on tape.
The small tape recorder she had borrowed from Willow fitted perfectly in her pocket. The red-head had used it in some of her classes during her first year in College before deciding that she simply didn’t need it. She had later told Buffy that, even though using such an item was allowed, it had felt too much like cheating. Buffy had just smiled and nodded, wishing she’d had one of those things back in high school. But now she was planning on using it for a completely different purpose. With any luck, Ethan would never know what hit him until it was too late.
After taking a deep breath, Buffy finally knocked on the door. It was now or never, she thought, desperately forcing herself to relax. It wouldn’t do to let Ethan see how nervous she really was; then he might suspect that she was up to something. Maybe he wasn’t even home. Although a part of her kind of wished that was the case, she really just wanted to get the whole thing over with. Despite the fact that she had waited for it to happen, she still jumped when the door finally swung open.
Spike hung up the phone with a frown. He had called the Double Meat Palace to see if Buffy wanted to meet up with him for lunch, but the woman who picked up had told him that she had called in sick a couple of hours ago. Now he tried to recall if she had mentioned something about not feeling well before he left this morning, but realized that he would have remembered a thing like that. He quickly dialed the number to Buffy’s cellphone, but immediately got the voice mail.
After giving it a moment’s thought, he decided to go back to the apartment to see if Buffy was still there. It was probably nothing serious, but he wanted to check up on her, nevertheless. Maybe she was just at home sleeping, which would explain why she hadn’t answered his phone call. If he went to see her now, Buffy would probably just say that he worried for nothing, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t really explain it, but he had a bad feeling about the whole thing. And he knew it wouldn’t go away until he got to talk to her, to make sure she was all right.
After telling his boss that he was taking an early lunch break, Spike hurriedly left the gas station. Just about to get on his motorcycle, which was parked right outside, he made the mistake of looking up and spotted a familiar face across the street, realizing with a sigh that it was Xander. The dark-haired man’s eyes widened as he obviously recognized Spike as well and he stopped for a moment, clearly debating with himself whether or not he should come over and say something.
Spike rolled his eyes; he wasn’t in a mood, nor did he have time to deal with the whelp right now. As Xander finally made up his mind and started towards him, Spike was tempted to simply hop on the bike and take off, but then reluctantly decided against it, mostly for Buffy’s sake. Buffy had made it very clear that she would choose him over her friends in a heartbeat if she had to, but Spike also knew that she still, deep inside, wished that they would all just get along.
And after everything she had done for him, Spike supposed that he owed it to her to at least try. That was the only reason he stayed instead of leaving, waiting for Xander to come over to him. He didn’t have to like it, but he could play nice if he had to. For Buffy, he would do just about anything.
TBC