His eyes widened a little but he didn’t object. Instead he just started caressing her thigh, slowly, causing her to let out a soft moan. “Tell me what to do,” he whispered.
“You’re doing great, sweetie. Just keep touching me...” Buffy paused. “You can take it off if you want,” she then mumbled, quietly, a somewhat uncertain note in her voice like she wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to, but hoping nevertheless.
Spike found himself glancing at her thong. He opened his mouth, then closed it again and nodded, suddenly not trusting his voice. As he managed to get the small, silky piece of fabric off her – amazingly enough without tearing it to shreds – he felt himself get even harder, something he hadn’t thought possible. He longed to touch her, and at the same time, his entire body ached for her to touch him as well. “Please...” He almost cringed at the pleading note in his voice. “Buffy, I need...”
“What?” she breathed, her leg brushing against his and her arms finding their way around him, like she was afraid he would suddenly just disappear. Leaning in to kiss him, she then pulled back a little, looking at him hopefully. “Tell me, baby. What do you need?”
“You,” he gasped, inhaling shakily as she gently slipped her hand inside his boxers and started stroking his almost painfully hard cock, her eyes locked on his as she clearly wanted to make sure he was okay with her actions, fully prepared to pull back should he show even the slightest sign of not being completely comfortable. Wanting to assure her but not finding the words, he just closed his eyes, letting wave after wave of pleasure wash over him.
“You sure?” Her hand never stopped stroking him as she raised her eyes to look at him, a soft expression on her face. He just nodded, and Buffy let out the breath she had been holding. “Okay,” she whispered. “Come here. Get on top of me.”
Rolling over so he was straddling her, Spike tried not to let his relief show. Being on top made him feel like he was completely in control of the situation, which – he suspected – was the reason why Buffy had suggested that position. She never ceased to amaze him, the way she just knew exactly what he needed without him ever having to say it out loud. This was it. Although he was still a bit nervous about not being able to satisfy her like she deserved, he couldn’t help but feel oddly excited. He gave her a soft smile. “Love you.” For some reason, he barely recognized his own voice.
She responded by pulling him down for another kiss, at the same time gently guiding him inside her. As he let out a small gasp of equal surprise and pleasure – shocked at how easily he slid into her – Buffy closed her eyes, but he couldn’t bring himself to do the same, not able to stop looking at her. Then she slipped her arms around him and started moving her hips, slowly up and down, and he was lost. His eyes rolled back in his head and he could do little more than simply mimicking her movements, thrusting deeper and deeper inside her, and a small groan left his throat.
The only thing Spike was aware of was the beautiful woman in his arms; suddenly nothing else existed in the world but the two of them. He was amazed at how tight she was, and at the same time, he seemed to fit inside her perfectly, like they had simply been made for each other. Like in a fog, he suddenly got the feeling that his entire life so far had been leading up to this very moment, like he had finally found his way home after being lost for an eternity. The feeling of being inside her was breathtaking, intoxicating, almost like a drug, and he just couldn’t get enough of her.
Hearing Buffy cry out his name made him feel strangely warm inside and he started pumping faster and faster, for a moment almost afraid he would hurt her but quickly shoving the fear aside. Judging by the adorable little moans and whimpers she kept letting out, Buffy enjoyed this just as much as he did and he didn’t have to worry about hurting her in any way. Never in a million years had he ever expected to feel anything even remotely close to what he felt in that moment.
“Oh God,” she whimpered, squeezing him even tighter. “Don’t stop, please, don’t...”
He wanted it to last forever, never wanting to leave the safe little bubble he and Buffy had created together, completely wrapped up in each other and totally oblivious to the rest of the world, and he knew that if they kept going, he would come within mere seconds. So he tried to hold back, struggling desperately to slow down his pace a little, not wanting to disappoint her by coming so soon. However, doing so turned out to be pure torture as he felt like his entire body was on fire. “Can’t...” he gasped, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t breathe – but it was not a totally unpleasant feeling. “Buffy, luv, I can’t...”
Realizing how hard he was struggling to keep from losing control completely, Buffy took pity on him. “It’s okay, just let go,” she whispered, her fingers running soothingly through his bleached blonde curls. He grunted something in agreement, catching her lips with his and kissing her hungrily, clearly relieved.
As he kept kissing her, his arms shaking from the effort of holding himself up, Buffy felt the exact moment he came, releasing his warm, sticky fluid inside her. He trembled for a moment and she could feel him jerk a couple of times before finally collapsing on top of her with an exhausted sigh.
Five minutes later, Buffy was still a little out of breath. Panting, she glanced at Spike. He had reluctantly rolled off her and was now lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She nudged him, carefully, and he turned his face towards her. “You okay?”
“Huh?” He rolled his eyes, annoyed at himself for not paying more attention. The last thing he wanted was for Buffy to look at him with that concerned look on her face, thinking that something might be wrong. Especially since he couldn’t remember ever feeling better. “Sorry, pet. Guess my mind’s not working quite yet.”
She smiled a little. “You were being so quiet; I was starting to get worried I broke you.”
He couldn’t help it; he burst out laughing. “No worries, luv. I’d say, quite the opposite.”
“Really?” Buffy turned her eyes away, suddenly almost shy. “Does that mean...? I mean, was it...? Was I...?” She hesitated, not daring to look at him. “You liked it?”
“Did I...?” Spike stared at her in disbelief. “You’re joking, right?” She finally glanced at him, a serious expression on her face, and he raised a brow; “Okay, if you couldn’t even tell I enjoyed it, I’m starting to think I did it all wrong.”
“God, no, that’s so not what I...!” Realizing that he was just teasing her, she pouted a little. “Very funny. You have any idea how nervous I’ve been about this?”
Immediately turning serious, he looked at her in confusion. “You? Why?”
“Why do you think?” She laid her head down to rest on his chest, closing her eyes as he started stroking her hair. “I wanted our first time to be perfect so you wouldn’t regret it. Or hate it.” A pause. “Or feel like I was pushing you into doing something you weren’t really ready for,” she finished in a small voice.
He sighed. “Buffy, I told you...”
“I know.” She shifted a little so she could look at him. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”
“A little.” He chuckled. “Buffy, it was perfect. I mean it.” He paused. “And the only thing I regret is that I wasn’t able to last longer.”
Buffy watched him closely for a moment, as if trying to see if he really meant it. Then she seemed to relax and snuggled closer to him again, smiling happily as he started drawing patterns on her bare stomach. “You were amazing.”
His hand stopped and he let out a snort. “Right. A real pro.”
She glared at him. “Don’t do that!” He gave her a questioning look, and she sighed, explaining; “Don’t put yourself down like that. I was serious, you know. Why can’t you just accept a compliment instead of turning it into a joke?” He didn’t answer, just shrugged and looked away.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then Spike wrapped his arms around her, hugging her carefully. “I’m sorry.”
Buffy slipped her hand into his. “For what?”
“For being a git, as usual.” He was quiet for a moment, not sure of what else to say. Buffy was right, of course. A part of him still found it a bit difficult to believe that someone actually thought so much of him as Buffy did. On the other hand, for as long as he could remember, he had repeatedly been told just how worthless he was; it wasn’t that easy to just get over something like that.
“I love you, you know.”
He gave her a startled look. “I know that.”
She nodded. “I know you do. I just felt like saying it.”
It wasn’t easy to let go of the past and move on. But at least Buffy made him feel like he was heading in the right direction. He smiled. “And I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”
TBC