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Author's Chapter Notes:
Continuation of where we left off at the end of Arrangements.
Chapter 21 – The Morning After

Buffy’s bedroom

Cold. There’s that feeling of cold when you first wake up. Buffy knew she was waking up but she didn’t want to. She snuggled into her bed a little further and suddenly remembered what had happened. For the first time since waking up that morning Buffy opened her eyes and saw Spike. He looked like a porcelain god lying in her bed with the sun shining in. The sunlight was almost reaching for him. She had to smile at the sight that was the man she loved.

Staring at him as she was she wanted to reach out and touch him, but she didn’t want to wake him just yet. He wouldn’t be asleep for much longer with her awake right beside him, but watching him sleep was a rare occasion and she was reveling in its glory. Taking in the sight of him, his muscular chest, broad shoulders, lean neck, and yes, that god-like face. Images of last night flashed before her eyes and she could feel her face begin to get hot.

Buffy loved Spike more than anything, except their son, but even then that love was different and not more or less. Slowly, she raised her hand to caress along one of his sharp, defined cheekbones and another smile crept onto her face as she watched his eyes open. “Good morning,” she said with a happy lilt in her voice.

Without saying a word he sprung himself on top of her reminding her of a move a lion, not a man, would make. She squealed and he only chuckled in reply as he gazed into her eyes and said, “Mornin’ pet.” Then he claimed her lips for a good morning kiss, immediately melting her resolve for anything else.

When he broke the kiss a moment later she was putty in his hands and quite speechless putty too. He gazed intently into her eyes waiting for her to say something because his mind was racing through last night and all the possibilities of what it had meant to her. Finally he removed himself from her and rolled back to his side of the bed where he ran a hand through his hair and let out a distressed sigh.

She quickly rolled on her side so she could look at him better and a small frown made its way onto her lips. “Spike…” she began, but she wasn’t sure what to say. She had no idea what was going through his head right now, and she really couldn’t come up with a good explanation for why he would be upset after everything that had happened between them. For a minute she just stared at him, distressed and all, waiting for something from him. Then it hit her. Did he think that last night was something less? Could he possibly think that I was just using him?

Buffy moved closer to Spike, this time she was leaning over him so she could look directly into his eyes. With one hand she held herself up and with the other she moved his hand from his face. Gently, she touched his cheek and chin and moved his face to look at her. “William,” she said his name softly and she used his given name to show how serious she was. For a split second she saw several emotions flicker through his expression. She tenderly caressed his cheek for one more second and then said, “I love you.”

He took a deep breath. “I love you too, Buffy, but—”

She put a finger to his lips to silence him. “No buts. I love you and you love me and… last night was perfect. I was grieving and you were here. You were here when I needed you like never before. You comforted me and we made love. Love, okay? Last night was not about sex to me. It was you and me, just like it should have always been. You might think that I was using you to feel better, but you’d be wrong. Last night was about us. I felt how much you love me and I could feel my love for you burning inside of me. If I hadn’t been grieving for my mom maybe it wouldn’t have happened, but I know that eventually it would have. And I wouldn’t change a thing about last night even if I could.” Buffy held his cheek and ran her thumb slowly over his smooth skin. “Now, what were you going to say?” she teased.

“You know… I really don’t remember,” he said, sounding a little puzzled.

“Anything I can help with?” she asked, leaning in a little closer.

“Maybe.”

She closed the gap and pressed her lips to his once more.


A few hours later they were finally out of bed, showered, clothed and downstairs thinking about food and the rest of their day. They chit chatted about this and that for plans later. Dawn and little Will were included in their afternoon plans, of course. Their ideas went here and there before they settled on lunch at the diner and ice cream.

Buffy had just finished making their scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast and sat down with her plate when the phone rang. Spike smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and answered the phone for her. “Summers’ residence.”

“Hi Spike. Is Buffy there?”

“Oh, hey Willow.” He looked over at Buffy and smile. “Yeah, she’s right beside me eating breakfast.”

“I just wanted to let her know that Dawn and Will are awake and Will wants to see her.”

“Is he ok?” Spike asked, his tone taking on a little worry.

“Yes, he’s fine. He just wants his mom,” Willow said in her calming voice.

“Oh, right, of course he does.” He glanced at Buffy and saw that she was a little concerned too, but he mouthed the words ‘He’s fine’ to ease her tension. He was glad to see it worked and relaxed a little himself. “We’ll be over to pick them up in an hour or less. Does that work?”

“Of course it works. Take your time if you need to. There’s no rush,” she said honestly.

“Alright. See you soon Willow.”

“See ya later,” she with a little cheer.

Spike hung up the phone and set it aside before looking at Buffy. Half of her plate was already gone. At least she had an appetite. He looked back up at her face and had to smile. “He’s fine Buffy,” he assured her.

She nodded with a little twinkle in her eye. She knew he had been the one to over analyze Willow’s words this time. He was like a first time parent that worried over every little thing.

“He just wants to see you.”

“I want to see him too,” she replied. “How’s Dawn?”

“She didn’t say.”

“I suspect she’s taking it worst of all,” Buffy said with a sigh. Then she was quiet and finished her breakfast.

Spike followed suit and when they were finished he washed the dishes. While he was quickly washing them he could hear Buffy’s quiet breathing as she sat at the island behind him. He wondered if she would say yes when he asked her to move in with him. He knew that things had changed since he’d first thought about asking her. Now it wasn’t just about her and Will. Dawn would be with them too, and he was fine with that, more than fine really.

When he and Buffy had been in school together Dawn had been like a kid sister to him as well. She wasn’t really that annoying to him though. He supposed she reserved that for Buffy. He smiled to himself as he finished washing the dishes. For now though he’d just wait for the right moment to ask her.

Buffy stared at her hands as she sat on her stool at the island waiting for Spike to finish with the dishes. He’d insisted on doing them himself since she had cooked breakfast. Instead of concentrating on the happy thoughts of last night or making plans for their little family for the day she was focused on trying to get through to Dawn. Buffy knew her sister well, and she knew that Dawn had a tendency to sort of shut down when something bad happened. She didn’t want to let Dawn do that this time. This time Buffy was here and she wasn’t going anywhere. She was the one in charge of taking care of Dawn now and she wanted Dawn to find a way to really deal with the death of their mom.

She realized Spike was done with the dishes when the water had stopped running. Her eyes moved up to meet his and she said, “I hope you haven’t been done long.”

“Not long at all,” he replied, staring at the sad smile that graced her lips. He slowly walked around the island to her and took her face in his hands to kiss her. His lips met hers and he felt like they’d been doing this forever and he could keep doing this forever. The kiss was soft and brief, but full of emotion too. When he broke it he couldn’t help but smile a little gloating smile as he realized he’d accomplished his goal in making her forget her troubles if only for a moment.

She smiled back at him and felt his hand around hers. “Ready to get the kids?” she said without thinking. It just came naturally.

Spike felt his heart skip a beat at the question. ‘Kids.’ They were going to pick up the kids. Plural. He’d always wanted a family and now it seemed he’d fallen right into one. He just wished he hadn’t missed so much of his son’s life. The first 5 years with all they held and he’d never really know what it had been like. It hit him a little suddenly that he now had more than one kid to help take care of. He knew that Buffy was responsible for taking care of Dawn now, but somehow he hadn’t fully realized that he would be helping with that responsibility.

If Buffy agreed to move in with him, sure Dawn would too and he’d be putting a roof over her head, but he still hadn’t quite gone so far as to think of himself as a father figure to the girl. He shook himself from his reverie and said, “Yeah… ready as I’ll ever be.”

He seemed a slightly distant at first, but Buffy shrugged it off as she grabbed the keys and her purse. “Do you want to drive, or shall I?” she asked.

“I will.”

They got in the car and started off toward Willow’s place. The drive was silent, but not in an awkward way. They were each off in their own thoughts. Buffy thinking about Dawn and what they were going to do next while Spike thought about them moving to LA with him and starting their future.

That future was a lot more detailed in Spike’s mind than he let on. He dreamed of the day he would marry Buffy and the day when they’d decide to have more kids. Those were things that he wanted almost as much as he wanted her, but he didn’t want to scare her off by moving too fast. So, he was working really hard to keep things going at a steady pace.

Buffy on the other hand was worried that the responsibility of caring for a teenager would throw a wrench in her and Spike’s relationship. Her biggest fear was still that something would come between them. She knew that she loved Spike with all of her heart and she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted it all and sometimes she wondered just how far he wanted to take their relationship. With everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks they hadn’t really had a chance to talk about their future.

The jeep came to a halt in Willow’s driveway right behind Xander’s car. Willow’s was the first car in the line and Buffy glanced at her friends’ cars as she and Spike walked up to the front door. Buffy knocked twice and then let herself in just in time to see Willow walking toward the door.

“Hey Wills,” Buffy said quietly.

“Hey honey,” Willow replied, coming over to give her a hug.

“Where are Will and Dawn?” Buffy asked next.

“Will is in the living room with Xander and Dawn is upstairs getting her things together.”

“How were they last night?” she asked a little hesitantly. Buffy was aware that Spike stood silently beside her seemingly just as interested in Willow’s answer as she was. Her whole body tensed in anticipation of the answer.

Willow smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes and it made Buffy instinctively reach for Spike. He wrapped an arm around her waist and waited. “Well…” she began slowly, “Will did fine. I don’t think he quite understands what it all means. He just missed you for the most part, but Dawn…” Her voice went a little lower so no one else could hear. “She’s just closing down Buffy. She doesn’t want to believe that your mom is gone. She wants to think there’s some way out of this and it’s not healthy. I’m worried about her.”

Buffy sighed softly. “Thanks for watching them last night Wills.” She leaned into Spike a little more as she said, “Will doesn’t spend many nights away from me so I knew he’d miss me, but he loves spending time with you guys so much I thought he’d be ok and I think he was. As for Dawn…” She paused for a moment. “I expected as much. It’s what she does when something happens that she doesn’t want to deal with. She did it when our dad left and Mom said she even did it a little when I moved away. This time will be different though. It’s our mom that’s gone and she’s the one that always pulled Dawn through. Now I have to do that and I’m really not sure how to right now.”

“You’ll find a way Buffy. I know you will.” She smiled and patted her shoulder before adding, “Besides, you’ve got Spike to help you now.”

Buffy looked up at Spike and smiled. “Yes, that I do.”

Just then Dawn began descending the stairs. A small smile graced her lips for a split second when she saw Spike and Buffy together, but it was gone almost as soon as it was there. As Buffy took in the sight of her sister she knew this was much worse. Dawn wasn’t just pretending that nothing bad happened like all the times before. She was really curling inside herself this time as if no one and nothing could help her. Buffy squeezed Spike’s hand a little tighter and smiled at Dawn. “Ready to go?” she asked.

Dawn just nodded and walked out the door to put her things in the Jeep. Buffy felt as if her heart were breaking all over again at the sight of Dawn in such pain. She could feel her knees weaken and was grateful that Spike was holding onto her.

“You okay Buffy?” he asked quietly, not wanting to alarm Will in the other room. Somehow he was distracted enough with Xander that he still hadn’t realized they were there. Buffy looked up at him with such a pained expression that he knew he had asked a stupid question. He kissed her forehead softly and whispered. “We’ll work it out Buffy. I promise you we’ll help her, together.” He hugged her to him and felt her nod her head against his chest. Willow gestured that she was going into the next room. He smiled weakly at the redhead and focused his attention on Buffy again. “Still up for the diner and ice cream?” he asked a moment later. “Or would you rather order in and pig out on Ben & Jerry’s?”

She giggled a little at the last part. “I don’t know,” she answered forlornly after thinking about it for a moment.

“It’s ok love. You don’t have to decide now. Let’s just get Will and head back to the house for a bit. Sound good?”

“Yeah.” Reluctantly she detached herself from Spike’s arms and made her way into the living room where the others were. Spike was right behind her and as soon as Will saw them he jumped up from the couch and ran into Buffy’s arms. She picked him up and kissed him on the cheek. “How was your night pumpkin?”

“Really nice but…”

“But what?” she asked patiently.

“I missed you Mama.”

“I missed you too baby.” She kissed his cheek again and hugged him close.

Spike quietly placed his hand on the small of Buffy’s back in a silent question of whether she was ready to go. She turned and met his eyes and nodded. “Say bye to Uncle Xander and Aunt Willow,” she told Will.

“Bye,” he said, waving his little hand at them. Then he brought his hand to his mouth and back out toward them, blowing them kisses. They blew kisses back at Will.

As they were walking out Buffy looked at Will and asked him, “What do you think about going out for hamburgers and ice cream later?”

Will tried to hop in her arms and a big grin took over his face. Buffy heard Spike chuckle but she just looked at Will and smiled back at him. “You like that?”

“Uh huh,” he said nodding emphatically.

“We’ll just have to make sure Auntie Dawn comes with us, okay?” Buffy whispered.

“Okay,” Will said quietly. His expression changed to one that was thoughtful and Buffy took notice.

“Will, what is it?”

“Mama…” he started. Buffy waited patiently for him to get his words right. “I think Auntie Dawn is sad,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I think so too. That’s why we should make sure she comes out with us and has a little fun,” Buffy explained.

Will seemed to think about this for a second and then nodded in agreement just as they arrived at the car. Dawn was already in the backseat, waiting quietly for them. Buffy kissed Will one more time and put him in his booster seat in the back while Spike got into the driver’s seat. Then Buffy hopped into the front seat and waited for Spike to drive them back to the house.


Chapter End Notes:
Chapter 22 is already done. I'll probably post it next week though while I continue working on Chapter 23. Also, I'm planning on wrapping Part 1 of this story up by Chapter 26. I do have plans to make a 2nd and even 3rd part of this one though. Yes, it's turned into a mega story for me. I love it so much and its hard to let go when I still have so many ideas for the characters. :)

I'd like to thank cordykitten & Cissy for their reviews. And Cissy for her inspiration. :)



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