Chapter 6 – Taking a Chance
Spike’s bedroom
Spike changed his shirt for the third time in the last 20 minutes. He walked back to his closet to look for another one. Sifting through clothes he finally found a red one he liked. He pulled it from the hanger and put it on. As he began to button up the shirt he slowly turned around. When he turned around he found himself face to face with Harmony.
He hadn’t talked to her since they had an argument about him forgetting their lunch date when he came home late last night. He didn’t even apologize for missing lunch and he had decided to sleep in one of the guest rooms after he left Buffy at her car. Somehow he just couldn’t be with Harmony anymore and he was finally realizing he needed to tell her exactly that.
“Spike,” she said in an annoyed tone as she tapped her foot.
“Harmony,” Spike replied.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked.
“Out.”
“But we have things we need to talk about.”
“Well,” he began as he thought about it. “You’re right Harmony.”
“I’m right?” she asked, puzzled. “Yeah, I’m right,” she said still not sure of what was going on.
“But what I need to say won’t take long. In fact it’s really easy. We’re over.” With that said Spike grabbed his leather duster and walked out.
Harmony was left pouting and confused. She had no idea what had just happened but she felt fairly certain that Spike had just broken up with her. The breaking up was what she didn’t understand. How could he break up with her?
Buffy’s apartment, San Francisco
It was about 9 in the morning and Buffy was running around her apartment cleaning everything. She’d been awake since 6 and just lain in bed for an hour before actually getting up. Then she decided to clean the apartment from wall to wall.
In the 2 hours she had already been cleaning she had done the bathroom that she and Will shared, the living room, and the kitchen. She had cleaned each until it was spotless. There was also a good possibility that the surfaces that could shine were shining.
Now she was standing in the doorway to her bedroom and wondering what to do with it when there was a scuffling behind her and then a soft prodding in the back of her leg. Buffy turned around to see her 5 year old son staring up at her with sleepy eyes.
“Mommy, what are you doin’?” he asked.
Buffy knelt down with a soft smile. “I’m just cleaning sweetheart.” She wasn’t sure what to tell William about the fact that his father was coming to meet him today.
“Do I have ta clean my room too?” he asked.
“Not if you don’t want to sweetie,” Buffy told him. She cupped his face gently and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I love you my little William,” she said, ruffling his curly blonde locks.
Will just crinkled his nose a little at the sentiment and then he giggled at the ruffling of his hair. He had the blonde hair of his mother, but the curls of his father and Buffy loved every bit of it. She could look into the face of her son and see so much of his father there. At one time it had caused her a little pain, or clench of the heart, but today it didn’t. Today, it just made her smile.
“Are you happy Mama?” he asked perceptively.
She thought about it for a moment before realizing her own happiness. “Yes Will, I’m happy.” She smiled at her little boy as she stood up. “Come on, let’s get you some breakfast. What do you want to have today?”
Will followed his mother into the kitchen and climbed into his chair at the table. He looked up thoughtfully and said, “I want some cereal Mama.”
“Coming right up,” she said smiling back at him. She got a bowl and poured some Cheerios in it for him. Then she added the milk and got a spoon before putting it on the table in front of him.
While Will ate his breakfast Buffy thought about how to tell him that his father would be coming today. She didn’t know how to say it, but she knew that she had to tell him. She couldn’t let Spike just show up and confuse Will.
“Will, there’s someone important coming over today,” she said.
Will just took another bite of his Cheerios and smiled at his mom. A minute later he looked at her and said, “Who’s comin’ over Mama?”
“Well,” she began. “Your dad is coming to meet you,” she told him.
Will took another bite. He didn’t understand what she was saying, but he wasn’t confused. He just didn’t know what it meant.
“Will, do you understand what that means?” Buffy could tell that he didn’t know what to think.
“Nope,” he said with a cute shake of his head.
“Well, every little boy has a mom and a dad. I’ve got grandma and grandpa. You’ve got me. You’ve always had me, but today you get to meet your dad.”
“Okay Mama,” he said with his little smile.
Buffy still had the feeling that he didn’t quite understand what was going on, but he was only 5. She knew that it was ok. He had never seen moms and dads together with their kids and that had made her job as a single mom easier. Today things were going to change for them.
A few hours later
Buffy was tidying up her room when there was a knock at the door. She stood up and looked into Will’s room. He was playing with his toys, seemingly unfazed by the knock. She smiled at how oblivious he could be and she wished that she could feel like her 5 year old son again.
On the way to answer the door she looked over her appearance. She was wearing a pair of black pants and a little red tank top, and she was barefoot. She’d applied some light make up earlier and put on some simple jewelry.
“1… 2… 3…” she counted under her breath as she reached for the door. She opened it and smiled at Spike.
“Hi,” he said as he took in her appearance. “You look lovely.”
“Thanks,” she smiled back at him. “Come in,” she said as she opened the door and stepped aside to let him pass. She closed the door and turned to face Spike. “Umm… William…” she said a little hesitantly.
He was looking around the apartment for his son when he heard her speak his name. He turned back to her and saw the hesitation written on her face. “Buffy, what’s wrong?” He began to get worried.
She saw the worry begin to form and she smiled lightly. “There’s no need to worry William. I just wanted to let you know that Will doesn’t exactly understand what meeting you means. He’s only 5, you know and…”
He stopped her. “It’s ok Buffy. I’m willing to take whatever I can get here. I’m just glad that I get to know him at all now.”
She gave a little nod. Then she added quietly, “Wait here. I’ll go get him.”
Spike stood in the living room and watched as Buffy disappeared down the hallway. He looked after her for a minute before he began looking around the room. On the mantel he noticed there were pictures of Will and Buffy and some with Will as a baby with people from Sunnydale. Then his eyes fell on a group photo in the middle of the mantel. It had Willow, Xander, Joyce, and Buffy holding a newborn Will. ‘It must’ve been right after he was born,’ he thought. His eyes fell on the picture beside it just a moment later and he had to smile. It was a picture of the gang back in Sunnydale. Spike could still remember the picture being taken too.
“Right after…” he said quietly. The picture of the four friends was taken right after they graduated. Buffy’s mom had gotten the four of them together and snapped the happy picture. The next thing Spike knew there was a light tap on his shoulder and he spun around to be faced by Buffy once again. He began to say, “Do you remem…” but he stopped there when his gaze went down to the small boy standing beside Buffy.
“Will, this is your dad,” she told the little boy. Then she met Spike’s gaze and said, “This is your son.”
A little while later Buffy went into the kitchen to start making some lunch for the three of them. She could see Spike playing with Will on the living room floor. They were playing with Will’s cars and trucks. She could see that Will was happy too, and that’s all that really mattered to her. She could also see the happiness clearly written on Spike’s face. Deep down she was happy for him too. Overall she was happy and her happiness was bubbling up. She couldn’t help wishing that they could all be this happy all of the time.
After looking through the cabinets and the refrigerator Buffy decided on something simple and a favorite of Will’s, grilled cheese. It was quick and easy, so she could get back to watching them together or playing with them.
Once the sandwiches were done she put them on plates and set them on the table. Then she called the boys to come eat some lunch. “Ok boys, lunch is ready, so come eat.” She paused for a moment to watch them reluctantly put down their toys and come to the table. “Will, what do you want to drink?”
At once they both answered, “Milk.”
She had to smile at that. It was unbelievably cute to see them both answer like that. She never knew what they had in common and it was interesting to see. “Two milks coming right up,” she answered.
When she came back to the table she brought the two glasses of milk and an iced tea for herself. She sat down at the table with them and smiled over at Will and Spike. Lunch went by with some chit chat and smiling at Will. He really was an adorable kid and Buffy was very proud of him.
Spike could look across the table at Buffy and see how much she loved Will. He could see how proud she was of her son. While it was nice to see Buffy so happy at this point in her life it was bittersweet too. He felt bad because she wasn’t happy because of him. No, she had done it all on her own. She had shown the world and him that she could do it. She was strong and he admired that. And God, how he loved this woman.
He couldn’t help but look at her and realize what an idiot he had been. He let her go. He walked out of her life and now he wanted back in. He couldn’t believe she was letting him back into her life. He wanted to make it all up to her, and he was determined to do just that. No matter what it took he would show her that they were right for each other. She was the one for him and he knew that. Now all he had to do was prove to Buffy that he was the one for her.
Before long the time had slipped away. Buffy looked at the clock and realized that something needed to be done for dinner. It was 6 o’clock and she didn’t have much in the house to make. Then she got an idea.
“Hey, boys!” she said with a smile.
They both turned to her with their own smiles.
“What do you say to ordering some pizza?” she asked. They didn’t do it often, but she thought it would be a nice treat tonight.
Spike shrugged his shoulders and turned to Will to make the final decision. “What do you say, son?” He felt a tingle as he said ‘son.’ He’d never done that before, and it filled him with a sense of pride and love. He had an unimaginable love for this kid that he had only known for a day. Nothing could compare to the love he felt for his son.
Will looked at Spike and then at Buffy. He smiled his smile and said, “Pizza? I love pizza!” His smile turned into a grin and he jumped up to hug his mom.
Buffy beamed down at her son and put her arms around him. Then with one hand she ruffled his hair.
Will giggled and hugged his mom tighter for a moment before letting go. “Can we do it half ‘n half, Mama?” he asked.
“Yes, we can do it half and half Will.” She saw the unspoken question written on Spike’s face and she smiled. “Will?”
He turned to Buffy waiting for what she would say.
“Why don’t you explain to your dad how we like our pizza while I go and order it?”
He nodded. “Ok Mama,” he said brightly. Will went to sit with Spike while Buffy went into the kitchen to order the pizza. “Its half pepperoni and half cheese,” he explained matter-of-factly.
“Oh,” Spike said. “That’s just the way I like it too.”
“Really?” Will asked.
“Really.” Spike looked at his son and smiled. “Say, what’d you say we pick out a movie to watch after dinner?”
“Yeah!” Will said excitedly.
“Ok. So, where do you and your mom keep the movies?”
“Right over here.” Will showed Spike the movie cabinet right beside the TV.
“What’s your favorite?”
“Um…” Will thought about it for a minute. “I dunno if I have just 1.”
Spike smiled. “I don’t know if I have just 1 either,” he whispered to Will. “Which movie do you want to watch tonight then?”
Will looked at the DVD cases for a minute and then back at his dad. He looked back at the movies and back at his dad again before saying, “Cars!”
Spike grinned and said, “Sure buddy.” He reached in and grabbed the DVD. When he turned around again he saw Buffy watching them. He held up the movie and said, “He picked Cars.”
Buffy looked back at Spike. She opened her mouth to say something, but Will interrupted. “Can I show Dad my nice cars before the pizza comes?”
She smiled and said, “That sounds like a great idea pumpkin.” Buffy watched as Will took Spike’s hand and nearly dragged him down the hall to his bedroom.
After dinner they all sat down on the couch to watch Cars. Will was happy to sit between his parents. He seemed happier than Buffy had ever seen him before and that made her happy. Spike was content to sit on the couch with his family. He finally had a family. That was something he had been longing for a long time, but he never dreamed he would find the person to have it with. Now, with Buffy and Will, he felt like he could stay this way forever. Buffy felt calm for the first time in a long time, probably 5 years. She felt like she wasn’t doing this alone anymore. She had Spike now and that meant more than she was ready to say.
About halfway through the movie Buffy noticed that Will was getting tired. She saw him lean his head on Spike’s arm and his eyes would close every minute or so. He always did the cutest things and it never ceased to amaze her. She didn’t want to take him to bed just yet though. She knew if she did he would wake up and probably not get back to sleep for a while. The movie had about a little under a hour left and Buffy thought that would be just right.
She glanced over at Spike as the movie was coming to a close. She looked at Will who was sound asleep and her lips naturally curled into a little smile. Then her gaze shifted back to Spike and she saw him look at Will and then back at her.
“We should move him to his bed,” she said.
“I can carry him if you can just lead the way,” he told her.
“Ok.” Buffy stood.
Spike scooped up Will and followed Buffy down the hallway to Will’s bedroom. He waited as she pulled back the covers. Then he stepped forward and put Will in his bed. He started to tuck him in only to be met by Buffy doing the same.
She felt her hand graze his and she looked at him. She couldn’t help but smile again as they finished tucking Will in. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead before stepping back to exit the room. She watched as Spike kissed him goodnight too. She left a little crack in Will’s door, and then she led the way back out to the living room.
She sat back down on the couch and Spike followed suit. They sat in silence for a few minutes, passing glances at one another but not saying anything.
Buffy didn’t know where to begin. She was too stubborn, and still a little hurt, to tell him that she still loved him.
Spike wanted to tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to be with her, that he wanted to love her, but he didn’t want to push her away either. Their conversation in the park the day before, she had said that she didn’t know if she could love him again. He didn’t want to get hurt either.
A few more minutes passed before Spike broke the silence by saying, “Thank you.”
She had to look at him seriously for a minute when he said that. “Thank you?” she questioned.
“Yes. You’ve given me something that I’ve wanted for a long time.”
“What’s that?” she asked curiously.
“A family of my own.”
Buffy blushed and looked down.
Spike moved his hand to her chin and tilted it back up to look at him.
She met his gaze and said, “You’re welcome.” She was quiet for a few seconds before she said, “You made Will so happy today.” She paused again before adding, “You made me really happy today.”
“And I’m happy too.”
They both looked at one another for a few minutes.
“What does this mean for us?” Spike asked with a little hesitation.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“That gives me hope.”
“There is hope,” she said with a coy smile.
“I can live with that,” he said. “For now,” he added.
She smiled and leaned in to put her head on his shoulder. “Can we just stay like this for a while?” she asked.
“That sounds nice,” he said, putting his arm around her.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter is a bit longer than some of the others. I just kept going with it. :) Hope you all like it!
Thanks to my faithful reviewers: maddonna001, cordykitten, JO
Thanks to my faithful reviewers: maddonna001, cordykitten, JO