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Author's Chapter Notes:
You all are knocking me dead with all the awesome reviews! I know I’ve said it before, but I’m very please that you’re enjoying the story so far, and I hope you keep on enjoying it. Title taken from Soundgarden.

Read Please; Should have put this in sooner. But I'm doing it now, so thanks goes to Joan and MSCL fan for the prompting and the pointing out to me. It's been years since I've watched My So Called Life. It was an awesome show, I think it aired on ABC back in 1994? I know I was either in the 9th or 10th grade when it came on. But anywho, that's were I got the idea for this fic. If you do a google search, since everything is on google now, I'm pretty sure you can find out more on Wikipedia. They might even have the dvd's for sale now, not sure, though. So don't take my word for it. Last thing, if someone deos find the dvd's let me know. I'd love to buy them. lol
Chapter Five: Fell On Black Days




She wanted to scream. She wanted to yell. She wanted to beg her parents to let her stay home from school. But most of all, she wanted to cry against the injustice of it all. It so wasn’t fair that Buffy’s life currently sucked, and that the love of said life was now on a mission of avoiding her. Just when had her life become so filled with drama? Buffy frowned at the girl starring back at her from the mirror. With a heavy sigh she collected her backpack and headed out of her bedroom door. It was a new day, and hopefully her peers at school had moved on to some new gossip about someone or something other than herself.




*****


Xander slipped his arm around Buffy’s shoulder and pulled her into a small hug, which she gladly accepted. She needed all the support that she could get.



“It’ll get better, promise. You just need some time, that’s all,” he whispered into her ear.




Buffy only nodded as she buried her face into his shoulder. Time. That was something she didn’t have as her eyes landed on the reason for her sorrow.



“There he goes, walking as if this is a normal day of school. Hey, maybe for him it is a normal day of school. It’s not like it was his name beining dragged through the mud. No, that honor belongs to me. And he only offered the whole avoidance thing for my sake, I know that. But, still. *sigh*




It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion. You know what’s going to happen, you can see it starting, but you just can’t look away.”




Buffy had moved from Xander’s embrace and stood starring at Spike. He made his way further down the hall and past them, Angel close on his heels. She found herself holding her breath, wondering if he’d say anything to her. She watched and waited. The two pasted them, but and her waiting was all for nothing. Spike didn’t even spare her a glance. Buffy exhaled, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Today was going to be a very long day.




*****


Joyce pushed open the door, her laundry basket firmly under her arm, as she walked into Buffy’s room. She knew that her daughter would kill her, but it was wash day and, Buffy had obviously forgotten to give her mother her dirty clothes.




She headed over to the small dirty hamper next to the vanity, and began sorting through the garments. Once done there she began to move around the room collecting items from off the floor. She came to a halt at a small pile of purses. Joyce shook her head, the way her daughter treated her things sometimes amazed her. She scooped the four bags up in her arms and carried them over to the closet. She began hanging them on a hanger when one purse fell out of her grasp and landed on the floor. Bending down she snatched it back up, noticing as she did a piece of balled up paper fell out.



She stood, looking at the rumpled sheet. She was torn, should she just pick it up and throw it away, or should she see if it was something important to Buffy. Maybe it was some misplaced homework or something. Deciding quickly, Joyce picked it up and began to read. It didn’t contain much, but what it said made her and gasp in surprised horror. She folded it back up and placed it in her pants pocket.



*****


“How do you even know that?” The blonde questioned.



“It’s not just a rumor. I know the person who saw them.” Willow responded as she brushed her hair.



Tara looked around the bathroom, making sure that they were alone. “Well?”



“He said he saw them with his own eyes. And since I’ve known him for like, forever, I’m all for the trusting on his part.”



Buffy was ready to flush the toilet and come out of the stall when she heard Willow’s voice along with another girl. But what made her pause was the rumor they were discussing. Willow obviously knew more than she was letting on, and maybe she could finally get to the bottom of this mystery and find out who was lying about her.



“Are you going to tell me who this trustworthy person is or not?” Tara asked impatiently.



“It was Jesse. He told me that last Friday night Buffy came over his house to study,” She made quotation marks with her fingers on the word study as she said it. Buffy had to place and hand over her mouth to stop the gasp of outrage and disbelieve that she was feeling from breaking through. “and her friends, Faith and Xander, were there as well. That’s when Spike showed up, and she runs out of the house. And get this, she gets in his car and then Jesse said about ten minutes later the windows were all foggy, and when she finally got out of the car her clothes were all messed up and everything.”



“Oh, my, God! That’s just, so, well, not Buffy. Well, not from what you’ve told me.” She quickly amended.




Willow frowned at that. “Yeah, I know. But that was the old Buffy. This is the new Buffy, and obviously her handing around with a tramp like Faith has rubbed off big time. I mean, I wonder who else she’s going to end up bonking.”



Both girls started laughing as they walked out of the bathroom.




Buffy slowly emerged from the bathroom stall, fighting the tears in her eyes. How could he? She thought they were friends, or at least they used to be friends. Resolve face firmly in place Buffy marched out of the bathroom. A moment later she returned, she forgot to wash her hands.



*****


She was on a mission. Who cared if she was venturing into forbidden territory, this was of the utmost importance. Plus, she so had to chew Jesse out! She descended the steps two at a time; reaching the bottom floor she made a left, entering the boy’s lock room entrance. If she hadn’t been focused on one thing and one thing only, Buffy would have taken note to the half naked boys getting changed for gym class. But she was oblivious to all this, the mantra playing over and over in her head; ‘Find Jesse and kill him!’




He had just finished pulling up his shorts and was bent over lacing up his tennis shoes. That’s when he noticed that he wasn’t alone. Jesse stood up coming face to face with a very pissed off Buffy Summers. She stood there hand firmly on her hips, lips in a tight frown, and her hazel eyes burning with anger. Jesse swallowed. He’d never seen her this pissed off in his whole life.




“Oh, you so better be scared. Hell, I’d be scared if I were you.” Buffy growled out. He was surprised at that. Jesse never knew one could growl a whole sentence.



“Bu… Buffy, you can’t be in here. Why are you here?” He questioned as he slowly began to back away from her.



“Don’t you dare play dumb with me, Jesse! You know why I’m here!” She began to follow his retreating form.



“I can explain. Really.”




She looked surprised at that. “Oh, you can explain? You can explain? Well, make with the explaining then!” Buffy paused. “No, there will be no explanations because there isn’t any. What you did. How could you do that?” The steam ran out of her sails as she dejectedly sat down on one of the benches.




Jesse sighed, but stayed where he was. “I was angry, okay.”



Buffy’s eyes snapped up to meet his. “Angry? What… why? What for?”



His eyes grew dark with irritation. “How can’t I? You used me, Buffy. I was nothing but a pawn in your little chess game. You had no intention of helping me. You used my house as a cover so that you could meet up with Spike!”




“And that… what? Gave you the green light to go and make up a vicious lie about me?” Buffy stood up and moved further away from him, wrapping her arms around her waist.



“I, I just wanted to make you feel something of what I felt. I wanted you to see that he’s only using you.”




She released a humorless laugh. “Well, I hope you’re happy now. I hate you. Don’t you ever speak to me again!”



With that said she left.



Jesse hung his head in shame.



*****



Shelia Rosenberg sat across the table from her long time friend and smiled. “Joyce, honey, I don’t think there’s much you can do.”




Joyce narrowed her eyes then sighed. “I know. But things seem to be happening so fast. One moment they’re babies and the next, well.” She reached over pulling the crumpled note back towards her.



“You don’t really know if it’s true or not. It just something scribbled onto a sheet of paper.” Shelia took a sip of her coffee.




“Well, what do you propose? Oh, I know. I’ll just strike up a conversation with Buffy and work in the fact that I know she’s having sex.”




“This wouldn’t be so hard if our girls were still speaking to each other. I would be able to weasel the information out of Willow.” That caused Joyce to smile.




“Please, tell me this isn’t happening.” Joyce pleaded before taking a sip of her coffee.



“She’s a teen and she has hormones. And don’t act like you weren’t doing the same thing.”



“See, that’s my point. I don’t want her to be doing what we were doing at her age.” The two started to laugh.



“Let’s face it. The only way we can prevent them from growing up is by locking them away in a remote tower someplace. And, then, we’re still not promised anything.”



Joyce only nodded her agreement. Just when did Buffy grow up so fast?



*****


“No, Faith, I don’t need you to go and kick his ass. I already spoke with him. He knows that I know, and that’s the whole point.” Buffy was sitting on the edge of her bed picking at a bowl of ice cream and, talking to Faith on the phone. “Yes, I’ll be fine. It’s not like we’re friends anymore. So no biggie.”



Joyce came and tapped on the door causing Buffy to look up at her in annoyance. She was in the middle of a very important discussion. “Look, my mom is here. Let me call you back.”




Joyce walked into the room closing the door behind her. “Can we talk?” She asked, coming to stand in front of her child.




Buffy rolled her eyes. “If I say no, will you leave as quickly as possible?”




“No, that will only result in me staying in your room longer than I need to be. And it will take away your time to speak with your friend.”




“Fine, make with the talking.” Had Buffy mentioned just how much she hated parents?




Joyce sat down on the bed next to her, not sure where to start. “I don’t even know where to begin.” She paused to look around the room. It still looked the same way it had when Buffy first picked out the wallpaper, the pile of stuff animals sitting under her window. Her prized stuffed pig with its honored place on her bed. This was still a room of a child, not a fifteen year old who was sexually active. Joyce wanted to cry. “I was in here today getting your laundry and…”



“Mom, I have homework and stuff. And not to be all impatient and stuff, but can you please get to the point?”




“Who’s Spike, and when did you two start having sex?”




Buffy’s eyes widened in shock, she had that deer in the headlights look. Her shock quickly turned into a hysterical laugh. “God, you think I’m having sex? I’m not having sex, and defiantly not with Spike.”




“Fine, you don’t have to tell me the truth. All I ask is that you be careful. I know your father and I can preach to you until we’re blue in the face, but if you’re going to do it, then we can’t stop you. But for the love of everything that is holy, why did it have to be with a boy named Spike?”




Buffy jumped up off of the bed. “Did you even hear me? I said, no! There is no sex. I am not having sex. And again, I reiterate, not with Spike! I am still as pure as I was the day you gave birth to me. God, I cannot believe we’re even having this conversation.”



Her mother just gazed at her. Relief washed over her, she did believe her daughter. “Buffy, I just worry. And I only what’s best for you.”




“Yeah, I get that, really. But I’m tired and I have stuff to do, so please, get out.”




Joyce rose from the bed and walked to the door. She really did hate how the relationship between the two of them had deteriorated over the past two years. It seemed soon as her daughter started turning into a young woman, this wall was slowly constructed between the two, and now it seemed as if they were nothing more than two strangers living in the same house. Joyce closed the door behind her and head down stairs.



*****


Buffy starred intently at the closed door as tears spilled from her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to run to her mother and toss herself into her arms, and cry out all of her frustration, confusion, and hurt. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. For one, she had way to much pride for that. And, two, her mom never would understand. They were from two different worlds. She could never relate to the drama that was Buffy’s life. She had an ex-friend spread a horrible lie around school about her. She had another ex-friend telling people that she was a total slut now. And the love of her life was avoiding her like the plague. Joyce Summers couldn’t understand that.



Buffy flopped back onto the bed and gazed up at her ceiling. Why was being a teenager so hard? It was bad enough that your body was changing, ripping you out of the safety that was childhood, into the confusing world of youth. Childhood was safe, boys and girls all looked the same on the outside, you could play together without the added pressure of liking each other. Then on day you wake up, you have hair in places that were once bald, two bumps on your chest that boys can’t get enough of, oily skin, and to top it off, hormones.



Rolling over she placed one of her pillows over her head, hoping sleep would claim her soon. She welcomed oblivion.



*****

A/N: still with me? Let me know.





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