Willow was fumbling with a button on her sweater, her gaze flickering between her hands and Buffy. Xander had disappeared a while ago after mumbling a lame excuse – he just ‘had to do that thing precisely now’. Thus, it was just the two of them sitting on a bench outside the school together with a choking silence.
“So...”
“So...”
Long seconds passed.
“Um... h-have you finished your E-English essay?” Willow asked.
“Not yet.”
Buffy closed her eyes. This was torture. When she opened them again the other girl was still deeply engaged with the button.
“That button is pretty amazing, huh?” she said.
Willow flinched and Buffy almost felt bad for her words. Almost. After all, the girl just meant well. As the redhead finally looked at her, however, she couldn’t regret them.
“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Willow murmured. “It’s just that... I don’t really know what to say and Giles says that I should just act normal but how am I supposed to act normal when nothing’s normal and we didn’t really know each other very well in the first place.”
“Wow. You really don’t need to breath.”
Willow smiled, but she still avoided eye contact and Buffy swallowed hard. The memory of how easily they’d been able to talk to each other was far away – lost, along with the carefree girl Buffy could barely remember herself being anymore.
“I get it,” Buffy said, standing up. “This just isn’t working.”
“What do you mean?” Willow asked.
Buffy just shook her head, giving the redhead a small smile before she turned around and walked away.
The hit sent him to the floor.
Ever since Darla had been dusted by the Slayer things had become worse. Spike supposed that Angelus needed more entertainment to pass time, or maybe this was his way to handle the loss. Darla had been his Sire after all, but on the other hand Angelus has never struck him as the mourning kind. Perhaps he just needed new entertainment.
“Say, William, what bothers you most? The fact that...”
The rest of the words were drowned in Spike’s own ragged breathing – he had learned to not listen to his Sire a long time ago.
Spike shook his head to clear it. He could smell the sunlight outside the building, but it was one of those days when it refused to lull him to sleep. Instead he’d been lying on the worn couch all morning after he’d chased away some fledglings from the house. This was just temporary though, the place stank of blood, piss and rotting corpses. Too much, even for a vampire. Spike had no idea how the ones before him had been able to live here, but newbies always were a bit lost. Didn’t know to clean up after themselves, to not leave corpses laying around in their lair.
Staring up in once white ceiling, he sighed deeply. He wasn’t even tired and there were many hours before the sun would set. Not that it stopped him from going somewhere, he could always take a sightseeing stroll through the sewers? Spike sighed and closed his eyes.
And Drusilla, who walked over to Angelus and placed a perfectly shaped hand on his chest. Her eyes twinkled as she leant forward to whisper something in his ear. Spike refused to listen in to what she was saying, instead he focused on getting back to his feet. That didn’t keep his thoughts from flying. Was she asking Angelus to let him be? Or trying to coax him into ravishing her again?
He managed to rise and stood, swaying unsteadily as Dru gently bit Angelus’ earlobe and her hand travelled down his chest, lower, lower.
As the scene flickered before his eyelids he quickly sat up, clutching the couch’s armrest desperately. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. The memories shouldn’t be able to just... He should’ve learned by now; he was in Sunnydale, he’d met some of his family two times for the first in a decade. Of course, memories would haunt him even more now. They would not control him though. Spike lay back down and shut his eyes again.
“Buffy... Buffy!”
Buffy turned around just as Giles caught up with her, panting slightly. He muttered something about ‘old men’ and ‘Slayers’ and she could feel a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth.
“Why did you run after me?” she asked, with a raised eyebrow. “I would’ve waited for you to catch up.”
“Since you didn’t hear me the first four times I called, I was left with no choice.”
“Oops. Sorry.” Her smile turned sheepish.
Without another word Giles opened the door to an empty classroom and gestured for her to go inside. Since they hadn’t decided to meet this afternoon she doubted he wanted to talk about the training – they seemed to have solved that problem yesterday.
He closed the door behind them as she put her books down and hopped onto a desk. Giles took his glasses off and began polishing them, a sign of that he had something important to discuss with her. Buffy’s brow furrowed, what could... Her eyes widened.
“So you’ve thought about it?” she asked.
“Yes, and actually I’m agreeing with you.” Giles said. “Did you say your mother’s been talking about moving?”
“Yes.”
Moving away. Away from him, away from school and Willow, away from the Slayer. But then, that wasn’t true. The move from Los Angeles and here had showed that she couldn’t escape from who she was meant to be. And Giles. Buffy looked up at her Watcher, he was good to her, cared about her. Almost like a... She forced the thought away.
“So, what am I gonna say to her?”
“Actually, I think it would be better if I spoke with her.” Giles said. “Or possibly the two of us together.”
“Do you think she’ll... freak out?”
Again. She added silently. Perhaps she should tell him about what had happened the last time. But what would be the point? He’d probably just feel sorry for her and she didn’t want anymore pity.
“At first, yes,” he said, “Buffy, you have to understand that it is a lot to take in; she is to find out that her daughter risks her life every night. She will also understand what really happened with Angelus. So yes, she might, well, ‘freak out’.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Giles... I think it’d be best if you told her, alone.”
“Very well.”
Buffy met his gaze for a second before she turned away to gather her books again. She wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or worried.
“I’ll come over tonight.” Giles said.
Buffy stilled with one hand on a book. “T-tonight?”
“The sooner the better I believe, don’t you agree?”
She forced herself to move again and hugged the books close to her chest, as if they were a lifeline. With her free hand she nervously tucked a lock behind her ear.
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just that... didn’t we just say that you’d do it alone?”
“It can hardly be a problem if you’re in the same house.”
“Um… well… I’m meeting a... a friend tonight.”
The Watcher’s reaction was obvious, even though he tried to hide it by polishing his glasses again. His eyes twinkled and she could see the smile that he attempted to keep at bay.
Great, just great. He had been worrying about that too. Wasn’t it enough with her mother... mothering her? Giles shouldn’t worry about her making friends. She pursed her lips, irritated, but it quickly turned into a small sigh instead. She didn’t have any reason to be angry at someone who just wanted the best for her.
“I see,” Giles said. “Is it that nice girl Willow Rosenberg?”
“Eh... yes, it is.”
And his big smile was on, he didn’t seem to notice that her answering one was forced.
She landed gracefully on the ground, but although Spike stood barely ten feet away it was like she didn’t see him. Her gaze was glued to the house and her brow furrowed as in deep thought. Last night, she’d at least nodded at him... and since when did he care if the bloody Slayer greeted him or not? Not waiting to see if she followed, Spike spun around and headed towards the nearest cemetery. He heard the girl follow and she quickly caught up with him, but she kept looking over her shoulder towards the house as long as it was in sight.
He’d be a fool not to know that something was distracting her. The demon she was fighting wasn’t an easy one, yet half her attention was elsewhere. It danced around her, and most of the moves she made were out of instinct. It wasn’t long before Spike had had enough.
Growling deep in his throat he stepped forward without a second thought. Angrily shoving the girl aside he aimed a blow towards the demon’s face. It growled back and swung at him.
“What the hell are you thinking!” he shouted, as he grabbed the demon by the arm and twisted.
It howled in pain and the Slayer stared at him wide eyed.
“Er... Spike...” she said, “Maybe now isn’t the best time to talk.”
He’d turned slightly towards her when she spoke and got to pay for it with a bleeding nose. Wiping the blood off with the back of his hand he saw the girl rush forward and grab the demon’s arms, forcing them behind its back. It struggled in her grip and didn’t notice that Spike had recovered until he hit it in the face a second time.
The demon began to sway and she let it go, just to wrap her hands around its throat instead. Soon the crack of a broken neck was heard.
“So?” Spike said, as he started to walk again.
“What?” The Slayer fell in step beside him.
“You’re not here,” he said, “Your mates having a party and you’re not invited? Or is the Watcher going on about a new apocalypse?”
For a second she just stared at him, next she looked away and her hands clenched into fists. She murmured a word so low that not even his vampire hearing could catch it.
“Slayer?”
He could see her jaw clenching before she drew in a deep breath and seemingly forced her body to relax.
“My mom” she said, in a loud clear voice this time, without a hint of tremble in her voice. Her gaze continued to avoid his though and Spike almost rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, and...?” he said in a harsh tone.
She flinched and finally looked at him. The fear was written over her features and he had to stop himself from taking a step towards her. He shook his head.
“Why would you...” she began and then swallowed. “My Watcher is going to tell my mother about… my calling... that I’m the Slayer.”
“Your mum doesn’t know?!”
The girl stared at him like he was insane and this time Spike did roll his eyes. He was about to open his mouth again just as they walked by a fresh grave. The Slayer froze and looked down at it the same moment as a hand shot up through the dirt.
Spike took a step back, gesturing to the vampire whose head was now showing.
“All yours, Slayer.”
She hauled up her stake and waited for the vampire to crawl out of the grave. This wouldn’t be much of a fight; the vamp was slow and clumsy. She had probably passed the age of seventy when she was turned.
“I just don’t get why you haven’t told her before,” Spike said, “Seems natural to me. Isn’t she wondering what you’re doing out all night?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that I sneaked out through the window.” She finished the sentence with thrusting the stake through the vampire’s heart.
“Didn’t think about it.” He shrugged. “So she’s never asked about it then? Never suspected anything?”
Moving nearly in slow motion, she wrapped her arms around herself, with the stake secured in her right hand and pressed against her chest. Slowly she began to walk again and Spike fell into step with her, watching her closely out of the corner of his eye.
They had been walking for a couple of minutes when she suddenly spoke again.
“I did tell her, you know,” she said low-voiced, letting out a completely humourless little laugh. “She and Dad... they thought I’d gone insane and sent me off to a mental hospital.”
Spike put both hands in his pockets, waiting for her to continue. Now he understood why she had been hesitant to go into the house the night he’d brought her back.
“They let me out... as you see.” That hollow laugh again. “When I stopped talking about vampires and stuff.”
“And tonight your Watcher is telling your mum,” he said
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t like he could tell her to sod off; they were… allies… now. A big part of him really wanted to though, he had his own things to worry about. He didn’t need her little problems on top of his, not when he really had no idea how to comfort her.
“It’ll be alright,” he said, awkwardly, in the end.
“Yeah,” she murmured. “It’ll be alright.”
An uncomfortable silence followed before she finally looked up at him.
“So,” she said “How are we going to do tomorrow?”
Spike felt a grin tug at the corner of his mouth, she seemed as eager as him to switch subject.
“What about tomorrow?” he asked
“Well... yesterday you... Are you coming with me then too?”
He hadn’t really thought about it. From the beginning he’d thought that this, patrolling, would be a ‘one time’-thing, just to help her get back in the saddle. He was a vampire. He didn’t hunt down his own kind.
“I mean,” she said hastily, “you expect me to help you kill him, but you won’t help me to patrol?”
She did have a point there. He was expecting her to help him out; maybe it wasn’t right to leave her to patrol the cemeteries alone. Especially since Angelus and Drusilla were lose; it was only a matter of time before one of them paid her a visit and she wouldn’t be able to do much if she was dead. Perhaps he should actually assist her in training. After all, she was an ally for now.
When Buffy climbed into her bedroom through the window, the first she registered where the murmuring voices. The clock was close to half past twelve, and Giles hadn’t left yet? Perhaps she should go downstairs to join them; she’d never be able to sleep if she didn’t know how it had gone. She watched through the window as Spike lit a cigarette and started to walk away, pondering her options.
As she slowly opened the bedroom door and went down the stairs the memories of white walls flashed before her eyes. She found herself gripping the rail so hard her knuckles whitened.
They were sitting in the living room, side by side on the sofa. A familiar book was lying on the small table in front of them. She knew immediately what the title was, Giles had put it down in front of her the first day in Sunnydale high school.
The floor creaked beneath her foot and both persons in the living room looked up. Joyce’s eyes were full of tears.
“Buffy.”
TBC