It took an hour before either of them spoke again. Spike simply sat on the sofa, feeling his eyelids become heavier and heavier. She was staring into nothing, with one hand clutching the arm rest as if it was a lifeline. It was like everything had stilled around them, lost them in their own worlds.
Spike could see the girl‘s face flash before him; the expression she’d worn just before she retreated inside herself. He wondered how long it would take to bring her out of herself if she decided to let go again. In a way it almost reminded him of Drusilla. The vampiress had always lived in her own fantasy.
It hadn’t been his wisest move to bring the girl with him, he realized that. Her mother was probably worried sick by now, so it certainly wouldn’t put him in her good books. But it wasn’t like he cared about that anyway, even though she seemed like a nice enough lady, reminded him of... The Slayer was his priority; her mum had just become an extra complication.
When the Slayer at last let go of the rest, Spike woke from his half-slumber. As he shifted in his seat and sat up straighter, she turned towards him. Not much, just so she could glance at him out of the corner of her eye.
“What does she think of me?”
It was clearly a thought being spoken out loud. She didn’t look at him as she said it, nor did she make any other move to indicate that he was there. Spike decided that she needed an other answer than whatever her cloudy brain would give her. “She loves you,” he said.
Her mouth twitched and for a second he expected that hollow laugh again, but then she pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.
“How can you be so sure?” she asked, “ She acted like... and what she did...”
“Mums love their kiddies. No matter what.”
“Then why did she do it?”
Slowly she looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. Her expression was so open, clearly wondering. In that moment the Slayer was gone and only the girl remained. Spike’s heart clenched in a way it hadn’t for a very long time, and he wasn’t even sure what exactly the woman had done. If she even had done anything that unspeakable. Perhaps it was simply some kind of a misunderstanding. The mum had to process the fact that her daughter was the Slayer, and all the things that came with the title.
He gave her the only answer he knew to be true; “She wants what she thinks is best for you.”
She was going to cry again; a faint scent of salt had risen in the air and she was blinking desperately. Quickly Spike sat up straighter, fumbling as he began rummaging through the pockets of his duster again. Finally he found the cigarette pack, flicked it open and... it was empty. Bloody hell. Sighing he dropped it to the floor and slumped back in the couch again.
A small laugh broke through the air. The girl’s eyes twinkled and she was covering her mouth with one hand. “You really don’t like to see girls cry, do you?” she said, another giggle slipping through her fingers.
“Can’t say I do, love.” He grinned at her.
Next second was the light mood gone and replaced with a heavier. Suddenly all delight disappeared from her face and her hand dropped, joining the other around her knees again. Spike watched her closely, listening to her steady heart that was just a beat faster than normal.
“You remember what I said?” she asked, “About the hospital?”
“Don’t remember you saying that much, pet,” he said “Just something about your mum sendin’ you there.”
”Mental institution, they thought I was insane.”
Spike couldn’t really say that he was surprised. The mother seemed to be a sensible woman, with a clear view of what the world should look like, same as most humans. Sunnydale was a perfect example. How many of the population hadn’t sung ‘la-la-la’ and looked the other way when they had seen a demon cross the street?
“I had a dozen of fresh bite marks on me when I came home,” the girl continued “But the police said they were from some kind of weapon… I don’t think mom even thought about another possibility.”
Of course she hadn’t, why would she? He’d bet that the doctors at that sodding hospital had given her every confirmation that her little girl had suffered from a temporary insanity. Most likely ‘An outcome of a teenager's lively imagination, deriving from an attention-deficit disorder.’ or something like that.
“What happened the other night, then?” he asked “Wasn’t the Watcher supposed to hold some sort of show and tell?”
“He did. Spoke the whole, amazing truth; Chosen one. Saves the world. Yadda, yadda, yadda.”
Spike regarded her expression, but couldn’t tell how the talk in question had gone. The silence dragged on and her mind seemed far away again. Then she noticed him watching her.
“Oh,” She offered him the hint of a smile, “She pretty much accepted it. I’ve no idea what he said, but now she’s right with the vamp-believing.”
“Yeah?” he said, frowning, “So what’s the trouble then?”
“Everyone just…” She sighed and hugged her knees even tighter to her chest, glancing over at him without really seeing him.
“Everyone just what?” The words came out softer than he’d intended, but he doubted that the Slayer really remembered who she was with anymore. When she answered her voice was small, barely audible;
“It seems like everyone would be a lot happier if I just... wasn’t here.”
The library was empty, except for the Slayer and her Watcher, as most days. Something uncommon though, was that Buffy sat with her gaze fixed on the table while Giles cleaned his glasses furiously.
She hadn’t planned on stopping by that day. She knew that her mom most likely had called Giles after she’d disappeared last night and the last thing she wanted was this confrontation. Still, she hadn’t believed it would be this bad. As if her day couldn’t get any worse.
They stopped laughing immediately. Buffy really hadn’t meant to meet them today. Actually she’d planned on doing a really good job of avoiding them, most likely for the rest of her high school life. They all said ‘hello’, and then – silence.
“H-how are you, Buffy?” Willow asked.
“Peachy,” Buffy said.
More silence.
“So, Xander,” Buffy turned towards him. “How’d it go with Miss French?”
“Well,” he said “It’s a bit demanding being her absolute favorite guy in the universe, but I’ll muddle through. Actually, she asked me to come over to her place tonight.”
“Oh.” Buffy’s mind flashed back to when she, and Spike, had seen the teacher the last time. “So she is totally hooked by your charm?”
“Eh... no. She just had some conference today, so we couldn’t do the project here.” Nervously, he grinned at her. “I gotta go, the love of my life is waiting to be snared and I have to prepare myself. It’s a guy thing.”
Before Buffy could open her mouth again he’d disappeared around the corner. The same corner Giles walked around the next beat.
It would have been easier if he’d yelled at her. Now… the disappointment in his eyes made her want to run and hide. When they had met in the corridor, he’d just told her to come with him, not saying anything else during the walk to the library. After they had entered, he’d calmly asked her to sit down, before taking a seat across from her. Then he’d told her about the phone call he’d received from her mother last night.
“Buffy, I had to persuade her not to call the police,” Giles said, “She was terrified that you would get kidnapped again.”
What about me?! Have you thought about why I ran away?! She wanted to scream at him, but her mouth stayed closed. Because she knew he was right. Her mother must have been frantic. No matter what the reason, she had no right to do what she had.
“She also spoke about you… acting strangely,” Giles said “Buffy, what exactly happened last night?”
The table was made out of wood. For once there was only one book lying on it. The title was... she couldn’t actually see it, the book was turned upside down. She’d bet though that it wasn’t “The best ways how to explain yourself to your Watcher”. She forced herself to look at Giles and drew in a deep breath.
“I… I lost it, OK?” Buffy ran both hands through her hair and the man’s expression softened. “She just... reminded me of some things and I... I couldn’t stay there, Giles!”
“Oh.” A small frown formed on his forehead. “Did you remember something or...?”
The question hung in the air and Buffy didn’t feel like bringing it down. Shifting in her seat before looking away, she said; “I don’t feel like talking about it.”
She could almost see the thoughts running through Giles’ head. He’d force her to go home right away. She was sure of it. Already, she could see her mother’s face in front of her; the worry, the sadness, the anger.
Perhaps she should’ve skipped school today. But then, Spike probably wouldn’t have liked it if she’d spent the day at his... place.
Sometime during the night he’d fallen asleep and soon after she had too. When she woke up a few hours later the vampire was still sleeping and didn’t react at all as she left. To school. Why in hell had she come to school? Because you didn’t want to go home. So, what? She could’ve just taken a really long walk or done some shopping. You don’t want to be alone out there, not even in daylight.
“Buffy,” Giles said, “You’d better call her now.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Buffy stood up, slowly walking over to the phone. Just as she put her hand on it she turned towards the man again, remembering something that could post phone the call for another thirty seconds. “Giles, last night I saw my teacher, that one Xander is -“
“Buffy. Now.”
The Slayer was gone when he woke up. It was just as well. He’d slept through those few hours that were left of the night, and then fallen into a deeper slumber as the sun rose. Honestly, he’d have been surprised if she had actually stayed. He’d bet that she was scolding herself for falling asleep in the same room as a vampire. But then, after all, he had been in the same room as the Slayer. Perhaps he should be scolding himself.
He’d just woken up and all his thoughts were immediately set on the Slayer. Spike sighed and sat up in the sofa. It was what was expected, he supposed. After all, killing Angelus and Dru had been his goal for such a long time. Now, when the revenge seemed to be just out of his grasp... The girl was supposed to be the key. Of course all his thoughts were focused on her.
And he was going to her again.
It was patrol time. A couple of hours hanging around in the cemeteries, then he’d head to Willy’s. Standing up, he slipped the duster on and went for the door.
Giles called half past ten. Buffy had just said good night to her mom when the phone rang and Joyce told her who it was. A quarter to eleven she had slipped out through her bedroom window, a stake secured in her waistband, just in case, even though Giles had promised to bring a weapon.
She ran into Spike, practically. If he hadn’t grabbed her shoulders she would’ve fallen over.
Had she been supposed to patrol with him tonight? He was in her yard – not really a big surprise – so obviously he’d thought so. If she was honest with herself, she’d thought that they would too, well; change of plans.
“Whoa, Slayer, where’s the fire?”
She realized that she was panting slightly and her heart hammered in her chest. She didn’t stop, just began jogging down the street. Behind her she could practically feel Spike’s gaze burning into her back, and then he called her name. She didn’t answer. The next second he had caught up with her.
“Xander is most likely being eaten by a bug lady right now,” she said in a hurry.
“Who is getting eaten by what?” he asked.
“You know my teacher? Who we saw yesterday?” She waited for his confirming nod. “She is actually a giant bug who’s looking for a virgin-mate.”
“Right, and now you’re running off to...?”
At the reminder of where she was heading she hurried her pace. “Giles is meeting up with me at her house.”
“Who?”
Had she never mentioned the name of her Watcher? She answered the question and he nodded.
Buffy had discussed the bug lady with Giles after the dreaded phone call. After explaining what she had been doing out in the night with; ‘I was just, you know, suddenly dying for some fresh air, just because of the... freshness’, she’d managed to sidetrack him with the creepy teacher tale and he’d let her pathetic attempt for a reason slide and said he would research it, with a deep frown on his face. And now on the phone, he’d been a symphony of ‘Oh lords’.
They had been running for a couple of minutes when she glanced over at Spike again, to find him looking at her.
“What about you?” she said
“What about me?” He raised an eyebrow.
“How am I gonna explain you to Giles?”
Spike smirked. “Who said I’m tagging along?”
“You’re following me.” Buffy rolled her eyes, slowing down a bit as they neared the teacher’s house.
“I follow Slayers all the time.”
“You... Whatever.”
But she couldn’t deny the feeling of safety that came over her when he was close. And this was the first, official slaying since... him. After all, Spike had been the one who had dragged her out on patrol again, it wasn’t weird that she felt better when he was there... right? But what would Giles say?
“Maybe you should leave,” she said, as they halted outside the house. “Giles will show up any second now.”
On cue she saw her Watcher’s car come speeding down the street. But as Spike made a move to melt into the shadows, she suddenly found herself stopping him. Her hand still rested on his arm as Giles jumped out of his car and strode up to them.
He couldn’t construe the Slayer’s expression. Nor could he say what had made her want him to stay. The Watcher’s, on the other hand, was easy to read; surprise. The man didn’t see that Spike was a vampire though or recognize him from some bloody picture, that was clear. But most likely it was because of the stress that also was all too evident in his face.
“Buffy?”
“He can fight, Giles,” the Slayer said.
For a moment the Watcher eyed him, then he nodded. Spike supposed the questions would come later.
A high-pitched wail sounded through the air. Instantly the Slayer was moving towards the door, her Watcher hot on her heels. Spike rolled his eyes and followed. Time to save the day. As he entered the house, he understood what had made the vampire, he and the Slayer had seen that night they had sparred, flee. This close to the demon there was something in him that screamed ‘run’.
The way down to the basement was easy to find. The Slayer went first. She halted for a brief second in the doorway and glanced back at him. Spike just winked at her as the Watcher urged her on.
After that single glance, the Slayer crept down the first couple of steps. Spike could only see her looking at something from his position in the doorframe.
“Play the tape, Giles,” she said.
Then she stormed down the stairs.
TBC