Buffy: This could be it for us for all of us. I’ve already made my peace with everyone else and now it’s your turn.
Spike: Nice to see that I’m last on a short list.
Buffy: You’re not last. You’re every bit as important to me as they are. Look doesn’t this tell you something? I’m spending what could be my last night with you. Of all the things I could be doing or spending it with. I chose to be with you.
Spike: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Buffy: How did we get here to this moment, right now?
Spike: You’re asking the wrong person luv. I don’t know either. I am just as amazed as you are.
Buffy: When we first met it wasn’t exactly love at first sight. I mean for God’s sake we tried to kill each other.
Spike: Well I wouldn’t go that far as to say there wasn’t something at first sight. I didn’t know what it was exactly but there was something when I first saw you. I still don’t. But the key word there was try.
Buffy: Look we both got lucky a bunch of times. You more so then me.
Spike: You saying you let me off the hook.
Buffy: No, but really does it matter.
Spike: I guess not. But everything changed back then when I got that bloody chip in my head.
Buffy: Yeah no more hurting people without some nice migraines to accompany them.
Spike: So a fellow has to keep fighting somehow even if it was with you. Fighting against demons was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
Buffy: Then of course between fighting with me or against me and trying to get your chip out you fall in love with me.
Spike: I was bloody more surprised then anyone. Me in love with a Slayer. I was sure I had gone mad.
Buffy: When you first told me that I was sure I had gone nuts. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing you say that.
Spike: So what is it a man is suppose to do when he gets rejected like that? I tried to earn your trust and your love but didn’t think it was going anywhere.
Buffy: So let me think, oh yeah let me build a robot instead. You made me into a robot.
Spike: I never thought anyone would ever find out about her. I know she was just a robot but since I couldn’t have you. I was just so crazy back then I needed something to take your place.
Buffy: It was a thing. It could never be me. Nothing about it was real. But I still never forgot what you did for me and Dawn. I know that Glory must’ve done some bad things to you.
Spike: She got really pissed when I told her the key was Bob Barker. I told her how you were gonna kick her lop-sided ass.
Buffy: You know Spike I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it was to know how much you loved me and you always trying to be with me. You were…I mean you know what you were back then but somehow I knew even back then there was some good in you.
Spike: You must’ve been the only one because I didn’t even see it.
Buffy: I trusted you back then even with my family to take care of them. I knew even though you couldn’t hurt them that you would protect them.
Spike: I know that it must’ve been strange having a vampire take care of a Slayers mom and kid sis.
Buffy: I trusted you to protect Dawn when I knew no one else would. I wasn’t gonna let anyone hurt her and I knew that you would never do it. Of course that’s when I died to protect her.
Spike: I was so sorry that I wasn’t able to protect her and had to put you in that position. I blamed myself for a long time.
Buffy: You shouldn’t have because I know that it wasn’t your fault. But when I came back it was just so hard. To know that my friends were the ones that pulled me back from heaven was just more than I could take. I just felt so comfortable with you because I knew that you weren’t a part of it. I cut myself off from everyone because I didn’t want to believe that it was real. The only time I allowed myself to feel anything was when I was with you. When we first kissed that night I just let myself go and feel something anything.
Spike: I remember that night quite well. I was very much in tune unlike everyone else. Quite awful singing voices they have.
Buffy: I hated being back but I couldn’t hate my friends. So I took it out on myself. And you. I couldn’t love you but I could still feel your love for me. When I was with you I just loved acting on impulse and not thinking about being here or thinking about anything else but enjoying the moment.
Spike: You weren’t the only one who enjoyed our little “thing”.
Buffy: But the more I kept going back to you the more I started to hate myself in another way as I was abusing your love.
Spike: You knew I wanted more. But I had to accept the fact you weren’t ever going to give it to me.
Buffy: I know that I may have said some things that and done some things that may have confused you. But I honestly was confused myself to what I was feeling. I did want you because of how you could make me feel but I could never just go out and just give you everything.
Spike: That’s of course when you called it off and meant it.
Buffy: I still tried as hard as I could to see you as just an evil disgusting thing. But some part of me knew that wasn’t completely true.
Spike: Is that why you were jealous when you saw me with other people?
Buffy: Yeah. I still wanted you all to myself. I didn’t want to think of you as a person with feelings. Just something I could just…
Spike: Turn off and on like my robot.
Buffy: Yup. A robot Spike that was my own personal plaything.
Spike: I understand now what you did and can’t really blame you for it at all. Why should you care if a vampire gets his feelings hurt?
Buffy: When you left to get your soul back I had some real tough mixed feelings about it. I didn’t know if I was ever gonna see you again and if I should be jumping up and down about it.
Spike: It was something I needed to do not just for you but for myself. To really prove that I can be a man and not a monster.
Buffy: All that stuff you had to go through and the hurt that it caused you I felt somewhat responsible for. That’s why I helped you and continued to help you even when no one else wanted too.
Spike: You don’t have to feel responsible because you didn’t owe me anything. It was me who owed you so much.
Buffy: I just knew when I saw you that you were different. I knew that you could be a good man. Even when you lost control for awhile I never gave up hope. I believed in you and still do.
Spike: I had hoped you were gonna kill me. Would have been no better ending than to be killed by you. After all you deserved to be able to do that. But when they came and took me away it was you that kept me going. Your belief in me.
Buffy: Still you were the only one that still believed in me too after everyone threw me out. It was your strength that let me get the scythe. And now it’s gonna help us win.
Spike: I was only returning the favor.
Buffy: This is all starting to make some sense now. This, us, I’m finally starting to get it and understand it. It’s that I don’t get it and don’t understand it. I think it’s because I’m still holding back when I’m with you. It’s not gonna be until I stop holding back things are gonna get clearer. But the reason is…I don’t want to get hurt again.
Spike: I could never hurt you again and I hope you know that.
Buffy: I know that and that’s why if we make it through this tomorrow I’m finally gonna stop holding back and give you an answer that you deserve. One way or the other I gonna tell you whether we have a future together.
Spike: That’s fine with me and I’ll be waiting.
Buffy: If I tell you a secret will you promise not to tell anyone?
Spike: I promise.
Buffy: (quietly) When we first met I knew there was something between us but I always tried to ignore it.
Spike: Buffy it wasn’t really a secret because I kind of already knew.
Buffy: (offended) You did not. No one knew.
Spike: I felt the vibes even then.
Buffy: (embarrassed) You’re lying I never send you any of those signals.
Spike: (smiles) You calling me a liar.
Buffy: (smiles) Big time. I’m so glad if this is my last night it’s gonna be with you. I need your strength again to get me through tomorrow. Can you give me your strength again?
Spike: No need to ask Buffy. We both are gonna make it through tomorrow because you’re gonna give me your answer.
Buffy: You know I will. I promise.
She goes over to him and they lay in each other’s arms as they go to sleep. They give each other strength to get through their toughest battle yet.
Well this is my take on the blackout scene in chosen. Sorry for those who were expecting them to have sex. I didn’t think that would happen or would be appropriate. I just think they would have to have go over their relationship because Buffy needed to make her peace with him and let him know how she feels. She still had a hard time understanding their relationship at this time but I do feel that she loved him if only on the subconscious level. So let me know what you think. Was it any good or was it bad. Let me know. Any and all feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Buffy: I’ll let you know another secret…I kind of made this decision a long time ago…it’s just now wouldn’t have been the best time for it…or me to tell you…but I will tell you when I started to make it…it was when you first told me you got your soul back…it was right then that…I couldn’t make anymore excuses to myself…about you…and what I was feeling…and I think it kind of snowballed from there…in to this…how I feel now…but I’ll wait to tell you…I promise…(Spike is asleep as she tells him this)…