“God, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck,” Buffy groaned, shuffling her way into the kitchen around ten o’clock. She rubbed her temples in small circles which were pounding from the worst hangover she’d had in years.
“Look like it, too, luv,” Spike laughed when she glared at him as if to say ‘don’t start with me’.
She looked like a mess, still wearing the same clothes from last night with the sleep tangled hair, her red halter top all wrinkled and raccoon eyes from her smudged mascara. But to him, she was a beautiful mess. He found it rather funny she would even come out looking like this in front of him when most of the time, she took great pride in her appearance. But it also made him happy that she felt comfortable enough around him not to worry about her looks.
He’d prepared for her to feel the effects from drinking last night and set about making pancakes and strong black coffee. As he assumed, she went straight for the cupboard for a bottle of Tylenol, so he handed her some water while she leaned against the counter.
“Thanks.” Taking the glass, she quickly downed two tablets before asking, “So did you put me to bed? Because I definitely don’t remember getting there myself or-” she scrunched her forehead in thought. “-even the ride home, come to think of it.”
“Had to.” Turning his attention to dishing out breakfast for the both of them, he explained why. “It was either that or leave you on the couch since you weren’ able to walk, bein’ passed out and all.”
“Thanks.” She realized had he just left her on the couch, she might have woken up with stiff muscles in addition to her headache.
Spike was a bit surprised that’s all she had to say. He half expected her to ask him if he’d ‘done anything’ to her… even if he actually had. But thank God she didn’t remember the kiss. It was bad enough he wasn’t able to forgive himself for his weak moment, but if she had remembered it, too, she probably wouldn’t forgive him either, didn’t matter if she’d actually been the one to initiate it.
“Uhmm, I hope you’re not expecting me to eat that.” She grimaced at the sight of what Spike was doing to the flapjacks.
“`S the perfect thing for you right now. It’ll soak up the acid and the sugar will help to settle your stomach.” He layered three pancakes with an ample amount of brown sugar on top of each then poured a half cup of straight black coffee over top.
“Ewww. Looks disgusting.”
“Trust me,” was all he said as he steered a reluctant Buffy by the elbow to sit down at the table and set her plate in front of her. “`S not as bad as it looks. Taste’s sorta like molasses.”
“Fine. But if I don’t like it after the first bite, I’m not eating it.”
He smiled at her grumbling; knowing she’d not only like it, but it was a good remedy for a hangover. And as predicted, before he even sat down with his own plate, she was humming in bliss around her fork.
“See?”
“Myeah, myeah,” she said with her mouthful. “So you’re, mmm-this-is-good, right.” Cutting up another piece, she looked up in time to see him smirk and gave him a genuine smile. “Thank you… again.”
“You’re welcome, pet. Can’ have you sick when we’re supposed to be watchin’ your show all day.”
After he said that and winked at her, she realized she’d forgotten all about Blood Ties. “Oh-my-God! We are so starting the moment I get out of the shower.”
Ughh! That’s another thing he expected. He only hoped the show had some redeeming qualities about it so he could get through watching it without falling asleep.
~~~*~~~
Since it was a lazy day they’d planned, Buffy chose to wear flannel pajamas and Spike a simple pair of grey sweatpants along with a plain white T-shirt. They bundled themselves up on the couch under the same blanket and brought out plenty of pillows to keep themselves comfortable.
Halfway through episode number five entitled ‘Deadly Departed’, Spike actually found himself intrigued with the development of the show. The writers had done an excellent job at setting up elements behind the basic premise of the show that would provide plenty of future intrigue and angst. He was about to ask Buffy a question when her cell phone suddenly rang. He hit ‘pause’ when she said it was Willow and had to take the call.
“Hello?” Within two seconds she had to hold the phone away from her ear as Willow chattered a mile a minute and loudly, too. “Slow down, slow down, Will, jeez. Now what’s going on?”
Spike watched as Buffy’s face lit up and she ‘squee’d’ like a teenager, saying things like ‘yes’ and ‘of course I will’.
“So when’s the big day and when do I need to be there?” After a short pause, she replied, “Consider it done.” Pause. “You bet, and again, congratulations.” Pause. “Bye, Will.”
“Wha’s all the excitement?”
“Oh, it’s wonderful news,” she gushed. “Oz, Willow’s longtime boyfriend, finally popped the question and they’re getting married this fall. She’s asked me to be the Maid of Honor.”
“Tha’s great.” When she started elaborating on the subject though, he interrupted her. “Tha’s all real nice, pet, but can we please go back to watchin’ the show?”
“Why, William Giles. Are you actually enjoying Blood Ties?” She still couldn’t get over the fact he was interested in it at all.
“Truthfully? Yeah. Aside from the occasional drool that escapes your mouth over the undead git, I think `s good.”
Smiling at him deviously, she inquired, “Jealous?”
“Pfft, hardly. `M way more handsome and have somethin’ he doesn’t,” he replied, jutting his bottom lip out slightly, knowing she seemed to have a weakness for it. Hey, he wasn’t above using whatever, ahem, ‘innocent’ means at his disposal to get her to focus back on him.
“And what’s that, Mr. Pouty?” She brushed her thumb over that luscious lip when it stuck out like a child’s. Ooops, probably shouldn’t have done that. But it was soooo damn irresistible. She just hoped he didn’t think too much of it.
He grabbed her hand and in a sensual caress, kissed the inside of her wrist before answering her with a wink. “A pulse.”
All Buffy could think after feeling the gentle brush of his mouth against that sensitive patch of skin was another thing he had in common with Henry, though she’d never tell him… thrall.
~~~*~~~
A few hours later, Spike ordered out for pizza when they got hungry so they didn’t have to cook. Shortly before their food was delivered, though, his new telescope happened to arrive and Buffy half expected him to abandon their ‘marathon’ in favor of setting up his new toy. But to her surprise, he just shoved the heavy box aside and climbed right back on the couch with her, telling her to ‘hit play’.
Time flied as they watched season one, almost without taking any breaks at all both of them were that engrossed in the series. So much so, it wasn't until episode eleven when Buffy began yawning that Spike realized it was nearing midnight and he was feeling sleepy as well.
Grabbing the remote, he paused the DVD player. “Do you wanna wait and continue this tomorrow?”
“Huh?” She looked at him confused. “No, of course not. The next one after this is the season finale.”
“You look like you’re `bout to fall asleep.”
“Nah-uh,” she protested and tried to stifle another yawn. “I really wanna finish so we can start season two tomorrow, pleeeeeeease?”
He sighed in defeat at her whining. Bloody hell she was going to be the death of him. “`S your call. But since my muscles are a mite stiff, why don’ we get more comfortable. I gotta cramp in my arse from sittin’ for so long.”
“As in how?” She watched as he moved over to lean his back against the armrest then motioned for her to sit between his legs. “Uhmm, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
Rolling his eyes before staring at her with a look of annoyance, he asked, “`Cause you have a boyfriend, right?”
“Angel is not my boyfriend. I’m just seeing him, dating him. Big difference there.” Boyfriend implied commitment and she was so not committed. In truth, she hadn’t particularly liked it when Angel tried to kiss her or hug her. It felt like he was… rushing things. And now that she thought about it, she really wasn’t comfortable with him for that reason. Not like she was with Spike and the kisses he…
Whoa… She was stunned that her mind just went down that road, and with such ease. But neither could she deny it was true. She was more comfortable around Spike than she was -or ever had been- with anyone else, even if only recently because of his change in behavior towards her. Plus it hadn’t been until he’d mentioned Angel that she even thought about or remembered him. Oh God, she moaned to herself. If that isn’t a sign that she truly wasn’t interested in the brunette, she didn’t know what was. By all accounts he was a great guy, should be everything she’d want but… there just didn’t seem to be anything ‘there’ on her end as far as chemistry went. And his pushiness in the touchy-feely department certainly didn’t help as far as trying to win her affection.
“Then wha’s the problem? `S not like `m gonna try anythin’.” And wow, just to hear her say that about Angelus? Maybe he did stand a chance with her. Not right now of course, but in the future, anything was possible.
She regarded his words and facial expression for a moment and thought, what the hell. Not only was he right, but she believed his vow not to try any funny business.
Spike bit back a triumphant smile as she crawled in between his legs and settled her back against his chest, even allowing him to go so far as to wrap his arms loosely around her waist after adjusting the blanket to cover them both.
“You’re right, this is more comfy. You make a great pillow.” And oh God, there went that tingly feeling inside when his laughter rumbled through her body. But she told herself this was a good thing they were this easy going with each other as she settled her hands near his and asked him to hit play. Before he did, however, he asked her a question.
“If you fall asleep, do you want me to let you stay here or wake you to go to your room?”
A part of her wanted to test her theory, and him, that she could trust him now, especially when remembering what happened in Florida. So before she could chicken out, she answered, “You can leave me here, but only if you stay with me.”
Taken completely aback, he compensated his shock with a joke. “Uhmm, who are you and what have you done with my roommate?” She swatted his arm while giggling then brought up the last thing he could have predicted, albeit with teasing sarcasm.
“What, all of a sudden the need for human touch isn’t so important anymore?” It was important to her. She had no choice but to admit that the night she’d spent in his arms not only felt wonderful, but also provided her with a restful sleep. And despite her vow she wouldn’t make it a habit; her intuition that Spike would be a gentleman about this had changed her mind. So she’d give him an inch. But if he took it a mile… she’d simply go medieval on his ass then move out and into to any apartment she could find pronto, no matter how crumby it was.
“`S very important,” he said somewhat seriously. “`Sides… if `s what you want, what makes you happy then how could I say no?” Indeed, how could he deny her anything?
“Thank you.”
“Anythin’ for you, kitten,” he whispered after kissing the top of her head and hit ‘play’ before she could respond. And he knew in that moment it was true. He would do anything to make her happy. Sure, he’d gotten to her during one of her ‘grey-area’ moments, but that ‘zone’ no longer meant anything to him, only her.
~~~*~~~
Sunday.........
Waking up in a daze at the break of dawn, Buffy discovered that she’d wrapped herself tightly around Spike. But rather than be freaked out as she slowly became more and more aware of their positions, she found herself feeling content as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Their bodies had slid down the couch until he was on his back and she lay on one side of him, both their arms firmly encircling each other while she nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. She chose to ignore the fact her thigh had crept up to rest on top of his and merely pulled it away… very carefully. It seemed placing her trust in him had turned out to be a good decision despite her leg being the traitorous limb in this tangle of body parts.
“Mmmm, you awake, pet?” Though he’d barely just cracked an eye open, his body registered hers holding onto him and the fact the TV screen was black with the word ‘DVD’ in a blue ball floating across the screen, bumping into the sides of the square frame to head in another direction like the old Atari game Pong. He figured they both must have fallen asleep before the season finale finished playing out.
She raised her head to meet the beautiful blue of his sleep-filled gaze and smiled. “I woke up about a minute ago.”
“Think we missed the last episode,” he stated while watching her with curiosity as she covered her mouth before responding.
“Yeah, no biggie, we were both tired.”
“What are you doin’?”
“Major morning halitosis. Don’t want my dragon breath to kill you.”
“Got eye boogers, too.”
“Uhh,” she gasped, mortified as she frantically wiped at her eyes with her free hand while he tilted his head back and laughed.
“I was jus’ teasin, pet.”
“Ohhh, you…”
She lightly slapped his shoulder but he only laughed harder when seeing the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile from beneath her palm. After he’d sufficiently calmed down, he gently placed a hand on her head and pulled it to rest against his chest. “Don’ know `bout you, but I feel another hour or two of kip callin’ me. Whaddya say? Or would you prefer we get up and I’ll make breakfast?”
Wow, how… considerate of him, giving her options that no matter which one she chose sounded fantastic? It didn’t take her long to make up her mind after looking at the clock. “More sleep, then I’ll help you make breakfast if you want?”
It was just what he wanted to hear. “Okay, luv.” He ran his hand over her hair, pushing the loose strands away from her face before resting on her waist again, enjoying the sound of her sleepy hum of approval. Closing his eyes, he felt her shift to plant a quick peck on his jaw then tuck her head back under his chin.
~~~*~~~
Both blonds made a big affair out of breakfast, with Spike helping Buffy not to burn anything in the process, naturally. By the time they’d finished and eaten the multitude of dishes they’d made - from fruit-topped French toast to bacon and cheese omelettes along with hash browns - they were ready to fall back asleep their bellies were so full.
But after taking their turns in the shower, it was straight back to the couch, in comfortable frumpy clothes and under the blanket all snuggled up. If one were a fly on the wall, it was a picture of the perfect couple… not friends, not roommates or co-workers, but lovers. Only thing was, it was as platonic as it could be despite the underlying sexual tension, which both had somehow shoved aside completely, discovering what they were doing now to be much more important… bonding.
Right in the middle of the episode entitled ‘Wild Blood’ when Mike had come to Vicky for help and Henry sat on the side drawing his next ‘graphic novel’, Spike paused it.
“I don’ get it.”
“Don’t get what?” Buffy shifted from between his legs to sit halfway on his thigh and face him.
“I mean `s obvious that Henry and Vicky want each other, so I don’ understand why they jus’ don’ get together.”
Now this was a subject Buffy could argue fairly over, which is what she did. Spike would fire off questions about the non-relationship ‘relationship’ they had and she would come right back at him to defend Vicky.
“What good would it do for her to get involved, especially when it comes to her feelings? He’s going to outgrow her, outlive her, wind up with other women eventually so why bother putting herself through the heartache? That’s what she’s thinking.”
“I understand your point, luv, but carpe diem. `S a sad thing to wander through life with a bag full `f ‘what ifs’. If she doesn’ take the risk, she may miss out on the greatest love she’ll ever know. She should stop thinkin’ so much and throw caution to the wind.”
“What about Mike, though? He may be the great love of her life, even though they technically aren’t together now. And the thing of it is, they’re still friends, which is what a relationship really boils down to, not sex.”
“Although I beg to differ that sex `s a very important aspect `f a relationship, I do agree with you on that one.” His brows knit together in confusion when she started laughing out loud. “What?”
Between giggles, she told him, “I can’t believe you, of all people just said that.”
“What, that I agreed with you?”
Shaking her head, she gave him a lopsided grin so he didn’t take her too seriously and really cause an argument. “How can you say that when you’ve never even been in a relationship before? You said it yourself you tell women upfront not to expect anything more,” she backed herself up by recalling his own words. “So, I’m guessing that means friendship as well.”
Bloody hell did she ever have a legitimate point, but it wasn’t as if he couldn’t imagine it, especially if it was with her. “Well,” he began cautiously, trying to figure out how best to put it. “You and I have a working relationship, a friendship and even if we slept together, I wouldn’ wanna cease bein’ either.” He knew he wouldn’t… but would she?
That stopped her dead in her tracks. “Uhmm… I’m not… I’m not sure how to respond to that. W-what I mean is that yeah, I… We’re more victims of circumstance… living together, working together, but as for sleeping together and maintaining a daily routine as if it didn’t happen? That just wouldn’t work, not with me anyway and certainly not with Vicky and Henry.”
That ‘victims of circumstance’ bit stung. She might have convinced herself of that, but he didn’t believe in coincidence. However she chose to view it, though, didn’t matter to him. He wasn’t going to give up on her, not a snowball’s chance in hell.
“I jus’ think Vicky needs to take a walk on the wild side. `S not like Henry would abandon her. And Mike’s a right Nancy-boy anyway.” But he couldn’t stop from drawing parallels between the show’s characters and himself… with Buffy. On one hand, he was Mike, but without the prior sexual history the bloke had with Vicky, in this case, Buffy. On the other, he identified himself more with Henry. Henry knew what he wanted, went out and took it. Not only that, but when it came to Vicky - to Buffy - like Henry, he held back, waiting for her to make the decision, all the while dropping innuendos to entice her, convince her and… bloody hell! He didn’t want to talk about it anymore and certainly didn’t want to think about it. All he knew, all he cared about was that Buffy was here with him right now and he was enjoying himself and their time together. No way was he going to screw it up over some debate on a fictional series.
“I’ll admit that contrary to what I’ve said, I’m rooting for Vicky to be with Henry.”
She snapped him out of his thoughts with the last thing he expected her to say. “You do?” he asked, bowled over by her declaration. “But, why?” Smirking at him, she ruffled his un-gelled locks.
“There’s just something about bad boys,” she sighed and dropped her hand in her lap, looking off in the distance as she spoke. “All that dark, sinister attraction… getting yourself into something you’re not sure about, but the ride seems so thrilling that it’s too hard to resist? Well-” she looked back him and smiled. “-at least on TV. It’s my way of seeing what would happen without actually doing it myself.” She knew the second that came out of her mouth she’d basically made a personal confession. Hiding a gulp of nervousness, she quickly sunk back into her originally position and prayed he didn’t pick up on it.
Oh, but he did. He could easily have her cornered in on herself and bound by her own words, condemned. But he let it go without saying a word. Yup, seems he did have every reason to keep hoping, keep waiting… thanks to that little crumb.
~~~*~~~
Late in the afternoon, they were finally into watching the unaired episodes and Buffy was glued to the telly which Spike found utterly cute. What he wasn’t aware of was that she’d been thinking on their discussion from earlier and what it meant.
She wasn’t so stupid that she didn’t know they were, in a way, discussing themselves and not just the show. The problem lay in what Spike had said, that he wouldn’t want to stop working with her or being her friend if they had sex. What did that mean coming from a man who’d never seen the women he slept with the day after, or, ‘ever’ for that matter. Did he actually care for her? In a way he’d never been capable of with anyone else? Was she his first ‘real’ female friend? Did she consider him a friend even though they were shoved together in every way imaginable by accident?
She tried to shake those thoughts, the questions, the numerous answers each could have but it was tough, especially when thinking about her tragic past relationship and the present one she couldn’t precisely define with Spike. Angel didn’t even enter into the picture. She was seeing him because he was handsome, charming and polite, but, that was it. With Spike however, she had… funny feelings and he was currently confusing her outlook on him. It wasn’t black or white like it was in the beginning when they’d first met. He was treating her really nice these days, and, she liked it. What she didn’t like was not knowing exactly where things stood with him, what he thought of her that had brought on this change in him. Was it that he was no longer interested in her as a woman despite what he’d said earlier?
Gathering a little courage, okay, a ton, she decided to ask Spike a cringe-worthy question and pray it wasn’t a bad idea.
“Spike?”
“Yeah, pet?”
“If I ever… said yes, you know… offered myself to you… like, right now. Would you do it? Take me up on it?”
Spike nearly dropped the remote in the process to pause the show she’d thrown him for such a loop with that question. What in God’s name made her decide to ask that when she should know the answer? Didn't she realize how gorgeous she was, how grateful he'd be if she were to actually give him a chance? It was then he noticed she was trembling ever so slightly as she sat there with her head looking straight at the telly, waiting for him to answer.
“You bloody well know I would, Buffy. Why?” He used two fingers to gently turn her head to face him and tried to lighten the mood by letting his cocky side come out. “Are you offerin’?”
“No,” she said softly, her features holding no expression whatsoever. “I-I was just... curious.”
Jus’ curious. Hmmmm. He doubted that or she never would have asked, but it was also clear she wasn’t propositioning him either. Why had she asked though, that was the question?
He tipped her chin up with his fingers so she had to look him in the eyes. “Settin’ all my teasin’ aside… I want you to listen. I was instantly attracted to you when I first met you. You’re beautiful, Buffy. You must know that, right?” She began shaking her head but he grabbed her chin and refused to let her say no in any way, shape or form. “You. Are. And now that I know you better I think you’re fuckin’ amazin’. Bloody gorgeous inside and out. There isn’t anythin’ I wouldn’t give to...”
He paused to ponder at his own feelings while she held a mental breath, wondering if he was going to finish that sentence and what he would tell her.
“If you… and I,” he suddenly coughed, trying to cover up his nervousness like it was no big deal. “No matter what you think, I do respect you and I wouldn’ treat you differently afterward.” Then he paused, forehead crinkling as he tilted his head, deep in thought. “I take that back, actually. I’d treat you better, like the lady you are and I’d… I’d make it very special. For you.”
She couldn’t help but smile at that. “I just wondered. And I appreciate your answer... your honesty. But you know it’ll never happen,” she added for good measure.
“Yeah,” he sighed, partly from relief she accepted his answer, partly out of frustration but wrapped his arms back around her waist regardless and gave her a quick squeeze for a hug. “I know.”
She snuggled in even closer to him after he hit ‘play’ again and laid her hands on his, lightly intertwining their fingers. Yeah, she was pretty sure he was growing some kind of feelings for her, the trouble was it scared her as much as it made her stomach start fluttering when wondering… could a tiger really change its stripes?
