After they’d finished watching the entire series, with constant commentaries from both blonds, Buffy prayed out loud there’d be a season three next year. Even Spike admitted he hoped so too, because he wanted to see Vicky and Henry ‘shag like crazy’, making Buffy punch his shoulder, giggling despite agreeing with him.
As she got off the couch to head in to the kitchen, Spike immediately felt the loss of her heat without her in his embrace, but what could he do? There were no more episodes left to watch.
“I’m gonna reheat some pizza. You want some?” she asked.
“Sure. Meanwhile-” he jumped up and headed straight for the box containing his telescope. “-`m gonna set this up.”
“OH! Can we use it tonight?” It’d been difficult that one evening for her to focus in on which exact stars or constellation he was indicating when all he could do was point and wait for her to find it, so his new toy would make it a whole lot easier.
“Don’ see why not, `s a clear night and all. But as for stayin’ up late, not so sure tha’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
She walked over to him with her bottom lip sticking out and bloody hell but he wanted to kiss that pout away. “We have work tomorrow. Have to be up early.” He stood after opening the box and put his hands on his hips, groaning internally from the deepening of that delectable pout.
“But I wanna see and you promised. It’s just one night and we can go to bed early tomorrow,” she offered, bouncing on her toes, eyes glittering like a child’s.
Shaking his head in amusement, he asked, “Does it really mean that much to you?” He secretly hoped so, elated at the thought this might be something else they could share a common interest in and therefore spend more time together.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”
Unable to keep from smiling at the way she practically begged, he caved. “Alright, kitten.” She clapped her hands together, grinning excitedly and it really hit him hard… he truly would do whatever was within his power to make her smile like that, whatever made her happy. Anythin’ for her… yeah, `m buggered. So after setting his instrument up with the tripod planted low so they could sit on the small bench outside while using it, he came inside to quickly wolf down his pizza because the sun had already set three hours ago.
They’d both bundled up in their warmest jackets before heading outdoors, but as the crisp winter breeze hit Buffy’s face, she knew she couldn’t stand out here for more than thirty minutes before the chill would get to her. The only way she could, would be if she were in the Jacuzzi’s hot water and since that option was out of the question, she told Spike she’d be back in a flash, knowing exactly what was needed to keep them both warm.
“Uh-huh,” he mumbled absentmindedly as he stared through the eye piece, taking his time to carefully adjust the lens until it was positioned perfectly on the eastern horizon. He checked his watch so he would know which stars would be rising then sat down, waiting impatiently for Buffy who was taking far longer than she’d said to return.
Coming back out to the balcony with a couple of blankets in her arms, the bundle big enough to almost hide her, she asked, “Stand up, please?”
Obliging her request, he was grateful that she laid one down on the bench because his arse was already starting to freeze. She draped the second around her shoulders, sat down, then bent over to grab a cord he didn’t see hanging from the bottom of the blanket and plugged it into the outlet before hitting a button that glowed orange.
“An electric blanket?” At her cheerful nod, he complimented her. “Bloody brilliant `f you, luv.” Even though he didn’t mind the cold, he had to admit he didn’t know how long he’d actually last given tonight’s temperature made his bones feel brittle.
“Well? You gonna join me?”
She raised her arm, her hand holding the corner of the blanket out towards him, suggesting they share it which he was more than thrilled to join her, be so close to her again. “Definitely.” Sidling up against her, he wound an arm around her waist, meeting her hand to help her hold the blanket in place then instructed her, “Go ahead, look through the lens.”
“Oh, wow! Spike, this is unbelievable!!!”
A proud smile overtook his features as he watched the little white puffs of breath escape her mouth while she rambled on in broken sentences.
“… see this much, I mean everything’s so clear and-and bright, big. Just… wow!” Pulling her head back to turn and look at him, she found something else that was equally just as ‘wow’. The way he was staring at her… head cocked to the side, lips forming a soft smile to reveal how happy he truly was over her reaction, and those baby blues. Her pulse quickened at how expressive those eyes were as they locked with hers, so attuned it seemed to her thoughts as he reflected them back at her. It was almost too intense but she found herself unable to look away. Thrall, her inner voice whispered. But since humans didn’t possess that ability, it had to be that she was the one who became enthralled from simply looking at them. And what they conveyed overwhelmed her… that he not only understood the gravity of her newfound appreciation and the accompanying awe of seeing the heavens like this, but shared in it with her as if it were his first time as well.
The light squeeze he gave to her waist when she mirrored his smile made her stutter when she tried to speak again. “A-after seeing this… th-the sky I mean, I understand your fascination. For-the-stars, the-consolations,” she rushed to add.
“Constellations, pet.” He kept himself from chuckling at her incorrect choice of word. She always managed to get them all mixed up at the most unusual times, but he found it charm-fully cute, yet one more thing he absolutely adored about her.
“R-right, constellations is what I, I meant.” With her cheeks turning crimson despite the frosty air, she couldn’t scold him or herself for mangling the English language. The man had a knack for distracting her from thinking straight sometimes. Collecting herself quickly, she told him what she thought of it all, both the stars and his eyes, though he’d never know that was part of her compliment. “They’re really… beautiful,” she said wistfully.
He noticed the moment her gaze took on a different, almost dreamy quality, staring deeper it seemed, into his eyes. He had to fight the urge to lean forward and capture her lips to show her just how she made him feel, to see if maybe, just maybe she felt the same way, too. But rejection wasn’t something he could handle, not now with her here like this and especially not after the wonderful weekend they’d spent together. So he silently prayed she could see it for herself.
Something in the distance suddenly caught her attention and she practically shouted while pointing. “Look quick!” He whipped his head in the direction she indicated in time to see a falling star, its bright tail fading out within seconds before it was gone completely. “A shooting star. Make a wish.”
Giving her a sidelong glance, he asked, “You don’ actually believe in that rubbish, do you?”
Indifferent to his opinion, she shrugged at him. “Suit yourself. I know what I’m wishing for.”
“That stuff’s for kids, Buffy, not adults.”
“Maybe… maybe not. Just remember, it was you who said it’s a sad thing to wander through life with a bag full of what ifs. Well, Mr. Genius-” she said playfully. “-what if you make a wish and it happens to come true? What will you say then?”
Cocking his head, he regarded her logic that she so conveniently backed up by using his own words against him. And though the very notion was naïve, he definitely had a wish in mind, so what could it hurt? After all, the worst that could happen was that it wouldn’t come true. “Point taken,” he replied, deciding to indulge her by going along with it. “Count me in.”
“Good,” she chirped, then grabbed his hand to hold it in hers while instructing him. “Now, let’s both close our eyes and take a few seconds to make our wishes, okay?” Now all she had to do was concentrate on phrasing her wish just right and ignore how he clasped her waist a little tighter after she’d grabbed his hand.
Bloody hell he wanted to roll his eyes, but the feel of holding her close and the fact she wanted him to do this with her, well, what could he do but give in? “Got it.”
“Here we go.”
As soon as she closed her eyes and faced the spot where they saw the star fall, he did the same… then made his wish…
The chance to spend more evenings with her like the last two, more specifically last night.
The past couple of days had turned into something he never expected, never even knew he wanted until it happened, to be able to spend so much time with her, holding her, absorbing her warmth, her scent, joking with her, the playful arguments, the small touches they shared here and there, snuggling with her… everything.
Last night in particular had been the most special to him though, when she lay sleeping in his arms for the entire evening. It felt far more intimate to him than anything he’d ever experienced before with a woman and he didn’t have that awful empty feeling like he did after physically being with some random bird… quite the opposite in fact. Even though there was nothing remotely sexual about their night together, he woke to a feeling of pure contentment… a sense of fulfillment, thus, the reason for his wish.
What was it about Miss Buffy Summers that brought out things from deep within him, feelings he’d never experienced, didn’t know he was even capable of until he’d met her? He wasn’t sure and the answers didn’t seem all that important right now, he just wanted more of it, more of her and hoped she did as well. If only they’d see another shooting star, he would make that his second wish, that she’d want the same as him.
Little did he know, her wish wasn’t too far off from that.
During the silence while their eyes were closed, Buffy made her wish… that a tiger could change its stripes. Sure, she was technically ‘dating’ someone, but she wasn’t officially ‘with’ Angel, so her thoughts didn’t have to be monogamous, right? And it was only a wish, a hope, but when it came true… if it comes true, well, she wasn’t quite sure how she would handle it. The last few days he’d shown her a completely different side of him that wasn’t the Spike she’d come to know, and the crazy part of it was she actually found herself wanting to explore that side.
Now she could definitely identify with Vicky when it came to Henry, and perhaps like Vicky, it scared her to take a risk that involved her heart, especially if this wasn’t the real William. Yet here she’d made her wish, had even gotten him to make one, too, and all because of a comment he’d made that stuck with her… what if.
~~~*~~~
“So what am I looking at?” Buffy asked while staring through the eye piece once more. And as Spike rattled off which stars were visible in relation to each other, she knew she’d never remember them all. But they each took turns gazing at the sky every half hour or so with Buffy dutifully trying to take in everything he told her like an eager pupil.
Quite some time passed as they kept doing this before she slumped back and yawned. Pulling the blanket tighter around her body, she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Tell me more stories, please? About the constellations.” She felt Spike turn his head to look down at her, but she stayed where she was, soaking up the heat from both the blanket and him.
And as Spike smiled down at what was obviously a very tired Buffy, he took this last opportunity of the weekend to tug her even closer to him, resting his cheek on the top of her head and began telling her another mythological story of the zodiacal constellation of Virgo.
“Accordin’ to the ancient poets, the virgin is also sometimes known as Astraea. She lived on Earth durin’ the Golden Age of man. If you follow the pattern of the Big Dipper’s ladle, drawin’ an arc in the southern skies, you’ll discover an unusually bright star. This is the first magnitude star Arcturus `f the Herdsmen constellation. If you extend the arc further, you will again see a very bright star. This is the first magnitude star Spica… `f Virgo. Spica represents stalks `f wheat and barley, as a beautiful goddess is carryin’ those stalks in her left hand. The myth of Virgo is the fertility story of a goddess. In response to the pleadin’ of the sad and grievin’ goddess Demeter, whose daughter was carried away to hell, known as Hades to the ancient Greeks, Zeus forced the god of hell, Pluto, to return the daughter. However, because the daughter ate the fruit of four pomegranates given out by Pluto, she was forced to live in hell four months out `f every year. Durin’ such times, Demeter kept herself holed up in a cavern out `f distress, so that the plants on earth withered, bringin’ the onset of winter.”
Despite hearing the first of Buffy’s light snores, he still continued to elaborate on the story, not yet ready to let go of her. By the time he finished, she was clearly out for the count, so adorably curled up, her face totally relaxed in sleep. He carefully unplugged the cord to the blanket and wrapping her small frame up in it, carried her inside and down the hallway to her bedroom. There was nothing more that he wanted than to retire to the couch and spend another night with her in his arms, but thought it unwise because she hadn’t requested it.
In her room, he held her tight while pulling back the covers to her bed with one hand, then by some miracle, removed the blanket and coat off her without disturbing her slumber and lay her down upon the sheets, thanking the Lord she was still in her pajamas. He tucked her in as gently as possible, intending not to wake her but it happened anyway. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked puzzled for a moment before her eyes focused on him.
“Relax, kitten, `m jus’ puttin’ you to bed. You fell asleep outside `bout twenty minutes ago.” He sounded slightly apologetic, but there was no guilt in his voice as they both knew he hadn’t done anything wrong.
Cognizant now, she remembered hearing something about Virgo and stalks of wheat before she must have dozed off. And now, taking in what he was doing for her, she was touched by the tenderness and consideration Spike showed by putting her to bed instead of jolting her awake to make her go by herself. She gave him a warm smile as he finished tucking her in, the low wattage of her bedside lamp the only thing illuminating his handsome face. Once he finished, he leaned down to kiss her forehead then prepared to turn her light off before she whispered his name and spontaneously reached out to still his arm.
Looking at her, a twinge of confusion marred his features, unable to read in her eyes whatever she was thinking. He knew she was relaxed and not upset with him for bringing her to her room despite the ground rules concerning privacy they’d agreed upon, so what was it she wanted to say? And then she did something that stunned him more than if she’d slapped him.
Propping herself up on one elbow, she cupped his check gently and pulled him in for a lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth before saying ‘thank you’ then laid back down. They exchanged soft smiles and he nodded, giving her a sincere ‘you’re welcome’ before shutting off the light then leaving her room.
The kiss was too short to be intimate but too long to be considered just friendly either. And though she’d initiated it, he’d made no attempt to deepen what probably would have been the most mind blowing kiss she’d ever experienced since she left herself open for him to do just that. But regardless of the fact he didn’t, she decided in that moment that she had to end things with Angel. The last few days spent with Spike had proved to her how little she cared about the Irishman when it came to the tingles of excitement that ran through her body whenever Spike was near her, touched her, held her.
She feared she was falling into… ‘like’ with him, and knowing it may not be the wisest idea, she could at least admit it. No good could come from it, however, if she fell any deeper and he didn’t reciprocate her feelings, so she had to guard herself against it as best she could. Too many ‘what ifs’ were involved here and most of them depended on him. She needed to remain strong, keep her emotions at bay in order to buy her the time to know for sure if he felt the same way and to prepare herself for the possible ‘no good’ that would result should he still be the Spike she’d known from the beginning. Just the mere thought that his behavior could be nothing more than a façade put on for the sole purpose of bedding her made her heart constrict in her chest. She pushed the thought away, hoping it wasn’t true but knowing only time would tell.
~~~*~~~
Spike went out to the balcony, making sure to bring the other blanket inside as well as his telescope. It was nearly two AM now, and as much as he loathed knowing how difficult it would be to wake up tomorrow morning, he wouldn’t have traded a single second he’d spent with Buffy this evening just for a good night’s sleep.
As he retired to his room, he wondered if she really was starting to see him in a different light or if it was just wishful thinking on his part. She certainly acted differently around him now, being more open, more trusting. Perhaps she was recognizing him for who he truly was.
But who was he now and how did he get here? He certainly wasn’t the guy she’d first met, that was a given. He’d experienced changes within himself, his attitude, outlook; even his patience had grown… tremendously, and from his personal perspective, the man he used to be seemed shallow in comparison. So what if she was the reason for his transformation? All he knew was that for the first time in his life, he felt what it was like to really long for someone, not just want or crave them, and because of that, he genuinely felt no remorse leaving his old self behind.
His last thought before drifting off to sleep was the hope that he did indeed become the man she deserved, and the one she wanted in her life… for keeps.
