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Chapter 9- Over the River and Too Deep In the Woods

This cooling shave
will never fail
to stamp its user
first class male
Burma-Shave

“Didn’t we already cross this river?” Dawn peered out the passenger side window at the thick foliage along the quiet two lane road. “I know I’ve seen that name before.” She opened the glove compartment. “I’m going to get the map out and look.”

Spike nodded. “Maybe you better check, Bit. The name does sound really familiar.”

“Why do they have signs that say ‘watch out for falling rocks’? Do they fall differently here than in California?”

Chuckling, he replied. “I think rocks are the same everywhere, Nibblet, still controlled by gravity.” He enjoyed having Dawn in the passenger seat. She was a good kid. Even all those boxes of tinkling bells had started to bother him less. Of course he made sure he never sat back in the third seat.

Glancing at the Slayer asleep in the middle seat behind him, his eyes narrowed. This trip had certainly shown him a side of the Slayer that he could have done without. She’s become a right bitch.

“I think we need to turn here.”

“Are you sure Nibblet? This road is a lot narrower.”

“The map says Choctaw Ridge is the turn after the Tallahatchie Bridge.”

“I still think that name sounds so familiar.” Spike cast around in his mind for the reason, but couldn’t come up with anything. Maybe he’d driven this way some time in the past…

“Look out Spike!”

****

Buffy inspected the van. The front currently resided on the narrow gravel road, but the back was mired to the top of the wheel-wells in thick Georgia clay.

“Tell me again what happened?” She wrinkled her forehead and added. “Whose fault was this?”

Dawn took a deep breath. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We were looking for our turn when a humongous deer ran out in the road right in front of us. If it wasn’t for Spike’s reflexes, we would have hit it”.

“Why didn’t you just pull around it, or make it move?” She glared at the vampire.

“Are you really that stupid, or are you making a special effort today?” Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Squirrels may be nature’s little speed bumps, but even I don’t play chicken with a soddin’ seven hundred pound buck. At least not if you want to continue riding around in this plastic piece of crap after the fact.”

Sighing, Buffy rubbed her eyes. “Well, people, we’ve got exactly fifteen minutes until the manifestation at the top of this little hill. Right?”

Willow nodded. “I’ll go Buffy, but I really need to have a knife.”

Shrugging, the Slayer handed her a knife. Assuming General Mode, she continued. “Xander, you’ll need to be behind the wheel to steer. Spike and I’ll lift the van out. Willow, Tara and Anya go up the hill and grab the key.”

“What about me?”

The Slayer turned to her little sister. “You look at the map, see if there’s a shorter way to get back to the interstate. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. Alright, people, let’s do it.”

Everyone scattered.

Xander rolled down the window. “Ready when you are.”

“Spike, you get on that side and I’ll get this one.”

“Fine.” He grabbed the bottom of the van. “Slayer, be sure you don’t hold on to the—“

Buffy interrupted. “Go, Xander.”

The van started and the wheels spun. Buffy grabbed the van’s back bumper and lifted. The plastic bumper broke off in her hands. “Damn.”

Spike snickered.

Glaring at the vampire, she called out. “Xander, try it again.”

“Okay, Buff.” He turned the van’s ignition again. “Go.”

This time, lifting from beneath the chassis, the couple easily helped the van back on the pavement. Xander pulled up a few feet and cut the engine.


****

“Tara,do you have the key yet?” When Willow caught the blonde witches’ nod, she planted her feet. Fumbling with the knife, she dropped it in the grass. Picking it back up, she took aim and threw it toward the demon. And missed by ten feet. Rats. . “Run!”

The three women sprinted down the hill. “Buffy!”

Buffy, wiping her hands, heard the women yelling her name. Looking up she saw a light yellow furry demon chasing them down the hill.

Grabbing her sword, she ran past the three and leaped, easily slicing its head from the broad shoulders.

Walking back, she spun the sword. “That was the most fun I’ve had in days.” She looked at the women trying to catch their breath. “Did you find the key?”

Tara held it up. “I’d just picked it up when that thing showed up.”

Willow bounced on her feet. “I tried to kill it myself, but I dropped my knife.”

“Even though Willow wanted to play Slayer- Anya shook her head at the red haired witch- we decided the prudent thing was to come back here as quickly as possible.”

“Good idea. Pack the key away and let’s get out of here. Xander, would you open the trunk?”

”Sure, Buffster.”

Anya, perplexed, stared at the back of the van. “What happened to the bumper?”

Dawn offered a one word explanation. “Buffy.”

Anya nodded sagely. “Oh.”

“Ready, everyone?” Xander twirled the keys on his finger. “Let’s hit the road.”

“Wait a minute, Slayer. What’s that noise?”

“I have no idea.”

Spike cocked an ear. “Run everybody, now!” The urgency in the vamp’s voice caused everyone to scatter. The noise, at first only detectable to vampiric hearing quickly became a loud rumble.

The Scoobies peered from their safe vantage point farther down the gravel road and watched a boulder roll down the hill, gaining momentum through the thicket until it crash landed at the bottom, shooting a plume of wet clay in the air.

Gathered around the large rock, Dawn finally spoke. “Well, at least we don’t have to figure out how to bring it along with us.” Using the toe of one sneaker, she nudged at the crumbled remains of the van’s bumper, flattened neatly beneath the boulder.





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