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A huge thanks to my Beta Burnkitty love your work *kisses & hugs*.
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Breaking me softly.

As they kissed William wrapped his arms around Buffy before slowly walked backwards towards the general direction of the bed. Their kisses became more intense but not needy. What felt like eternity, William felt his legs bump against the mattress. Buffy let her hands roam over his almost completely naked body, caressing his perfectly sculpted chest. She felt him shudder under her soft touch and Buffy couldn’t help but smile, a rush of feminine pride coursing though her. Who knew she could cause such an effect on him?

Breaking their kiss, William slowly unbuttoned Buffy’s top before slipping it off her shoulders and letting it carelessly fall to the floor. Looking into her eyes he could still see her hesitation. He cupped her face with one hand and let his lips softly touch hers. More then anything he wanted her to know she was safe with him. He moved his other hand through her hair and then slowly down her back. Buffy felt herself let out a small moan before William kissed her again, letting his hand on her face slip down to her breast, kneading it softly. With the hand on her back he gently and skillfully undid her bra clips. Buffy felt the straps of her bra slide down her shoulders and with William’s help it too was soon on the floor along with her shirt.

Buffy tugged at Williams’s towel, and much to her delight it fell away easily, pooling at their feet. William started moving down to her neck, spraying hot wet kisses as he did so. Buffy felt him run his hands down her back before cupping her bottom with both hands. He then quickly unzipped the skirts zip. It fell to the floor softly and William seized the opportunity to admire what stood before him. He couldn’t help but groan at the sight of her. She was a vision. Her hair pooled around her shoulders in soft golden waves, her skin gently flushed and her lips slightly swollen from their kisses. Her breasts sat perfectly upright, her nipples slightly pointing outwards. He felt himself grow hard knowing that Buffy stood before him, wearing nothing else but a silky black thong and her black high heels.

"Your so bloody beautiful pet." He whispered huskily into her ear. Buffy felt herself shudder at his words. She felt him run his hands up over her thong to her hips. It felt so blissful that she almost didn’t move to slip out of her shoes. Stepping out of them she was now a bit shorter and she could feel his hard cock on her thigh. Never had she experienced anything like this, never in all her life had it ever been so physically intense, the sensations, the burning, the heat. This was totally different, more different then anything she had ever experienced. As for William this real, messy, hot, stupid, ridiculous need, made him want to beg, laugh and just shag Buffy all at once.

Slowly William guided Buffy onto the bed where she laid down, her hair pooling out onto the pillows. As she gazed up at him wearing nothing but her black thong he could see that she was now flushed with desire for him her pupils dilated and her chest was heaving in anticipation. Gently William reached out and hooked his fingers under each side of her thong before sliding the down her soft legs and discarding it to the floor.

Moving upwards to face her, William gently ran his fingers to caress her cheek before slowly running them down her naked body. Buffy felt the soft feathery touch roll around her breasts as she sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. She then felt William’s hand move down to her navel, making unplanned patterns on her stomach. She opened her eyes and gazed at him. His eyes were full of heat and lust for her, everything she felt for him and more. Her body ached for him and every touch felt so right. Slowly William moved his hand towards her core running his fingers down into her heat.

"Oh god." She moaned as his finger ever so slightly grazing her nub. William took one of her heaving breasts into his hot mouth, nibbling and sucking on it gently as he let his hand still roam along the outside of her folds. Buffy felt like she was on fire, the multiple sensations almost too much to bear. Unwillingly, William moved his attention to her other breast, the cool breeze from his movement on the now hardened wet nipple sent a delightful shiver though Buffy’s core. William gave the other breast the same treatment as the first, first nibbling on the tender nipple before sucking on it, making it hard. Satisfied, William started to move down her body, leaving soft wet kisses in his wake. He shifted himself down between her legs, removing the hand that was lightly caressing her folds. Buffy suddenly felt embarrassed and clamped her thighs together in an attempt to hide herself from him.

"Don't hide from me please. Open up for me luv." He whispered his eyes pleading. Slowly she allowed him to part her thighs and William couldn’t help but inhale her arousal. Admiring her shaved pussy, he used two fingers to pull her lower lips apart to admire the view. Not giving a moment to prepare, he suddenly let his hot tongue slide from her wet hole to up against her swollen clit.

“Aaaah!” Buffy wailed.

William removed his hand from her folds, as he sucked her nub into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it skillfully. It took all of Buffy's strength not to scream and instead she gripped the sheet beneath her, finding herself thrusting her hips at him. She looked down at him to find him looking up at her, his mouth still assaulting her, his eyebrow raised. The feel of his tongue and the look in his eyes were a dangerous combination and Buffy could feel herself losing control.

"Spike... Oh god please... Don't stop." Buffy managed to pant out, begging him. She felt his hand move towards her wettened hole, sliding two fingers in easily. Buffy moaned at the sudden intenseness of stimulation. Over and over he pumped his fingers into her welcoming heat, hitting the right spot every time. Buffy moved her hands to run them though William’s hair and the feel of him inserting another finger deep inside her was too much to take. Her body started to shake of the pure intensity of the orgasm before she screamed in release.

"SPIKE!!!!!!!" She wailed as the waves of pleasure started to subside. She felt William remove his mouth from her nub and withdraw his fingers and she couldn’t help but whimper at the loss. Positioning himself on his knees in between her legs, she could feel the tip of his erection waiting for permission to enter. Wrapping her legs firmly around his waist she moved her hips forward slightly as a silent answer. William groaned as a wave of pleasure shot through him. The feel of her wet centre rubbing against him made his knob bounce in response and he slowly he slid his hardness into her. William looked down at her, groaning at his own pleasure as he saw her gasp. Buffy could feel her core being filled by him, being stretched from him. She ached her back up as he filled her, the sensation pure ecstasy.

He stopped momentarily giving them both time to adjust to each other. Buffy had never felt so complete. They fitted perfectly together and she moaned once again when she felt him start to move inside her. With slow, long strokes he massaged her inner walls coursing her to whimper. William lent forward kissing her lips, groaning in pleasure. He never knew it could feel this good, this right.

Taut muscled abs against firm stomach, naked flesh against naked flesh. William groaned at the sensation. This was incredible. So hot, so tight, so wet. He felt like he was going into cardiac arrest or something. Buffy’s legs were still wrapped around him and when she wrapped her arms around him, he felt her pull herself onto him, sitting up she started to ride him. William knew he wasn't going to last much longer, she felt too incredible; he was doing all he could to ignore how wonderful she felt. The way her muscles were fluttering around him. Her moaning every time he plunged back into her and the way her fingers lightly rubbed up and down his back was just heaven. The way she moved her hips up and down on him, embedding his hardness deeper into her hot core.

"Spike..." Buffy moaned, leaning her forehead against his. They stared into each others eyes; she had never had a single experience quite like this. So sensual, so intense it made her want to cry, run, moan and make love to him all at once. She tried to choke back her cries, the moment so powerful.

"Oh god Buffy you feel so bloody good." William muttered, still looking into her eyes. Buffy moaned at his words as she fell back onto the pillows, giving William the control once again. He lifted her legs to rest against his chest as he increased his pace, his hardness pressing deep inside her core, she could feel her orgasm nearing once again.

"Oh god harder... Faster." She moaned. William obediently thrusted into her harder, increasing in his pace. He soon felt her inner walls flutter again, watching as she ached her back, her orgasm taking a hold of her.

"Oh Spike..." Buffy moaned in pleasure as he felt her inner muscles spasm and contract around his cock. Pumping into her as she came, William could feel his own release building. He pumped harder three or four more times into her before he came with an intensity he had never felt before. His body jerked uncontrolably as his cum filled her welcoming womb.

"BUFFY!!" He roared in his release, over come by emotions he looked into her eyes. Letting her legs fall down to her side, he laid down on her, his softening cock still twitching inside her. He ran his fingers softly down her arm before he looked up at her.

"I love you." he whispered touching her face. The second he saw the look of fear in her eyes he knew he had made a mistake saying that. He should of know she wasn't ready to hear that from him.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"I love you." William whispered again. Buffy shook her head at his admission.

"No... You can't... I... Get off me." She stuttered.

"Buffy what’s wrong?" Buffy pushed at his chest and he rolled off her. She stood by the bed, her skin still lightly covered in sweat from the recent activity, she begun shaking.

"This is meaningless." She whispered. William felt his heart break but he stood wrapping his black shirt that was draped on the chair around her naked form.

"You’re shaking; Buffy is this about what I said? I don't expect you to say it back I just wanted you to know how I feel about you." He whispered watching her button his shirt up.

"I shouldn't of come here." she replied moving past him grabbing her skirt off the floor, not even bothering to put her thong back on. She slipped her legs into her skirt, she just desperately wanted to get out of there. Grabbing her hand bag and shoes she headed for the door. Horrified William snatched a robe from the dresser and quickly wrapped it around himself, catching Buffy’s arm before she could get to the door. He turned her to look at him.

"Buffy talk to me, what’s going on?" He asked sounding desperate.

"How can you love me?" She asked shaking her head.

"Buffy I love who you are, how you try... you sacrificed everything to save Dawn, to save the world..." She quickly interrupted him.

"Is that what you think? That I did it to save your precious world? I didn't, I did it for her. Dawn is apart of me, I felt it long before your stupid watcher said anything to me about what the monks had done... when I’m near her its the only time I feel anything other then dead." Buffy finished.

"I know..." William replied moving forward. He reached out his hand to cup her cheek but she jerked back as if his touch had burned her. He recoiled his hand, letting it slump to his side. He couldn't hide the look of hurt of his face.

"Buffy please..." His voice begging her now.

"You should know better then to fall in love with another vampire." She snapped at him. William’s face softened.

"Buffy you’re not a vampire anymore." He whispered gently. She put her head down realizing her mistake, sighing she looked back up at him.

"No but I was... second worst on record next to Dru."

"That’s not who you are anymore." He tried to reassure her.

"Stop kidding your self Spike, the demon maybe gone but the memory remains. The things I’ve seen, things I’ve done, it changes a person, scars them, makes them who they are."

"Where" he corrected.

"And ever shall be."

"Buffy..." He took a step towards her but she quickly stepped back.

"Stop it. Stop trying to sugar coat everything. No matter which way you put it, it still comes out the same. I have killed, murdered hundreds possibly thousands of innocent people... men, women and children and not just to feed but for fun... pleasure don't you understand that? It was some where inside of me then demon just brought it forth."

"No Buffy..."

"I shouldn't have come here.... This was a mistake." She interrupted, waving her hand in the air before looking at the floor. William felt his heart break at her words something it seemed she was good at doing to him lately. Is that how she really felt?

"Please don't say that luv... That was the must incredible, amazing experience of my life. I’ve never felt so close and connected to someone as I did in that moment. Please don't tell me that you think that it was a mistake." Buffy could hear the fear in his voice, the need to be reassured but she knew if she gave in now there would be no turning back. It was better to end it now before he got hurt more.

She had come to learn in her many years that everyone she cared about or got close to ended up getting hurt or worse dead. If she cut it off now it wouldn't hurt nearly as much if she gave into her desires for him as it was she had already caused so much hurt. She just hoped he could move past it and move on with his life. He deserved better, someone who was worthy of his time and love. Two things she was not, she had done so many horrible things and she didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve happiness.

"I can't do this with you." She replied turning, attempting to leave again. William’s plee stopped her.

"Just do one thing for me. Please you owe me that." She turned around to face him again.

"What?"

"If you can look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you don't love, that you don't feel the same way for me that I do for you, then I’ll let you walk out that door and you'll never have to see me again." Buffy fought back the tears that threatened to fall. Taking a deep breath and looking into his bright blue eyes that held so much hope and love.

"I don't love you." Buffy replied firmly, coldly. She watched his face crumble, his eyes tearing over at the admission she had just given him. Guilt ridden, she looked at the floor unable to look at him anymore. She was disgusted with herself and the hurt she had caused him by being so weak.

"Goodbye William." She whispered before walking out the door closing it behind her. He didn’t try and stop her this time. She stood there for a moment leaning against the hotel door finally allowing her tears to fall. She had lied to him, she had never loved anyone more in her whole life but she had to believe she was doing the right thing for him. He deserved so much more then she could ever give him. He deserved someone better, someone she had never been and never could be. With a heavy heart she wiped the tears from her eyes and walked away from the man she loved in hopes that he would have a better life with out her.

William stood staring at the door that Buffy had just walked out, how had this happened? How had he let this happen? He had allowed himself to open up, to fall in love only to have his heart shattered once again. First when Drusilla had left him saying it was for his own good, that he deserved a normal life. Then with Harmony, she had been so sweet, so nice to him but as it had turned out she had just used him for one night and then quickly discarded him the next morning. Then his mother had died leaving him to raise Dawn alone and finally Sam, Miss Initiative, he had found her being willing fed on by a vampire and before he could even process the information she had helicopter out of town with out so much as a goodbye.

Now here he stood again feeling like his heart had been ripped to shreds. Looking at the hotel door blankly, he had never thought anything could hurt so badly but when she had uttered those four simple words "I don't love you" with such clarity on her face. William had felt like he was dying. Allowing the sobs to finally rock his body as he crumbled to the floor near the bed, hugging his knees to his chest, it was only the sound of the telephone ringing that shook him from his thoughts. Wiping the tears away, he slowly picking up the receiver, placing it to his ear.

"Hello." He tried to hide the emotion’s he was feeling

"Hey Spike its Xand just wanted to see how the trip was going?" He asked brightly into the phone. There was a silence at the other end and finally Xander could make out a light sobbing.

"Will... Spike is everything ok?" he asked panicked.

"God Xander I’m such a fool." William replied to his friend wiping the tears away angrily. Xander and him had been best friends since his first day at Sunnydale High. He had always talked to him about everything and he knew he could trust him with this. Getting up off the floor he sat on the bed where not even minutes ago Buffy and he had made love, he opened up to his best mate about what had just happened.


Chapter End Notes:
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