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Author's Chapter Notes:
Please leave feedback;) Another huge thanks to my Beta Burnkitty.
The Awesome banner was made by Edgehead a HUGE thanks to her *hugs*
Remind me of me.

That night when everyone had gone to bed, William had shown Buffy to his room saying she could have his bed and that he would sleep on the couch. She had hesitated at first, feeling as if she was putting him out but he firmly had told her it was not a problem. Buffy lay in the unfamiliar bed, peering around the room, trying to adjust to her surrounding’s. Trying to find something, anything that was familiar to her. Soon, she felt her eyes get heavy and reluctantly she gave in hoping maybe when she woke up, this would all be a dream. Soon she was falling, falling into her dreams. But something felt familiar about where she was. It felt too real. Looking up, she noticed someone standing in front of her. She began to speak.

“Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know: What’s it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see? That’s the secret. Not the punch you didn’t throw or the kicks you didn’t land. Every slayer… has a death wish. Even you.”

Buffy sat up with a gasp, touching her chest; she was breathing heavy and sweating. She tried to steady her breathing. That dream, it felt so real .She knew the voice was hers but she couldn’t see who she was talking to. Trying to remember the face of the person she was talking to, she tried to calm herself by lying back down on the soft pillow. It was going to be a long night.

The next morning everyone sat in the Magic Box including Buffy. They were sitting around a round table. William had asked her to sit there when they had arrived. She saw the man she now knew as Giles remove his glasses and rub them on his shirt, cleaning them before placing them back on. Giles stood in front of her as he begun to talk.

“Now Buffy I would like to run some tests if that’s alright with you?”

“First can I ask a question?” Her dream had been plaguing her since she got up this morning.

“Of course.” He replied taking a seat next to her.

“What’s a slayer?” Everyone one looked at her shocked.

“Why do you ask?” Giles tried to keep his voice steady.

“I had a dream last night; well I think it was more of a memory… I was talking to someone, I don’t know who. I couldn’t see their face. But I remember saying to them that death was there art, that every slayer has a death wish even them.” Buffy glanced at William who was sitting beside her. She could sense that he knew what she was talking about just by the look at his face.

“Yes, well. I think its best that we give your mind more time. Before we discuss that with you. I think it would only confuse you more.” Buffy looked at Giles sighing. She was getting frustrated, all she knew was these people where her friends or so they claimed anyway. They had told her that her name was Buffy and she had mysteriously disappeared three months before. But that’s all she knew. Now with this dream she had dreamt last night…It was all too much, she needed to know more. Her mind craved it.

“I get that you are trying to help. But keeping stuff from me isn’t helping; it’s just making me more confused… what ever it is I can handle it.” She replied with determination. Giles took a deep breath and glanced at William, who nodded. Giles looked Buffy in the eye and stated to explained what a slayer was, that demons and vampires where real and lastly that William or Spike as everyone called him, was the slayer. Giles then sat back, letting her take it all in. Buffy nodded slowly, standing and started backing away from everyone.

“So vampires and demons are real, Spikes a slayer and he kills them. You’re his watcher whose job is to train the slayer…” She pointed to first William, then Giles. They all nodded and Buffy backed off a bit more.

“One last thing… are you all crazy? Vampires and demons... it’s ridiculous.” William rose from his chair and slowly approached her.

“Buffy. Just calm down, please.” She shook her head violently. She then started to scan the shop and William took this moment to grab her arm. Buffy panicked and pulling her arm free, she hit him hard, in the chest. She watched on in horror as flew across the room and hit the wall behind him. Willow quickly leapt up from her chair and went to his aid as he landed on the ground with a loud thud. Buffy stared, shocked and unable to move. She looked down at her hands. Maybe they where telling the truth about all this. Maybe they’re not crazy after all. A groan made her look up. She watched as William pulled himself off the floor and brushed himself off as if nothing had happened. As if she didn’t just fling him across a whole room into a wall.

“Oh my God.” She whispered.

“Well I think it’s safe to say you haven’t lost any of your touch luv. Still as strong as ever.” William quipped, smirking. He walked over to her, while she remained rooted to the spot. He reached over and touched her shoulder gently, trying to reassure her. Pain started to swell in Buffy’s head and she felt as though she had been hit with a hot wave. Grunting, her hands shot up to her head in pain. Suddenly, memories begin to assault her mind.

“Don’t stop me this is something that has to be done.” He smiled at her.

“I know I was just going to say I’ll come and watch your back luv.” She smiled at him and hearing him call her luv sent chills down her spine. Gotta love that British charm.

“Buffy what is it?” William asked looking concerned. Buffy noticed he had caught her before she fell. Someone brought a chair over as she opened her eyes to look at him. William guided her down, giving her the energy to speak.

“Don’t stop me this is something that has to be done.” She whispered to him. William smiled softly remembering these words. It was when they had just discovered that Glory and Ben were one of the same and Buffy was determined to save Dawn by killing Ben.

“I know, I was just going to say I’ll come and watch your back luv.” he replied saying the line word for word.

“What is going on? Who am I?” She asked confusion written all over her face. It almost broke his heart to see her in so much pain. William saw Giles signal for him to bring Buffy to him so they could do some tests.

“Buffy, Giles wants to do some tests; they might be able give us some answers.” She nodded her head dumbly. All she craved at the moment was answers. Frowning sadly William led her back to the table where Giles was waiting. Buffy sank down into a chair and Giles begun his testing.

Later that night William and Giles sat in the Summer’s house around the kitchen table. Buffy was having a shower and Dawn was on the phone ordering pizza for everyone. Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara said they would patrol for William tonight so he could talk with Giles.

“So what’s the verdict?”

“From the data I have gathered from Buffy today its fair to say she’s what we call a day walker.”

“What does that mean?”

“A day walker is a former vampire turned human. They are stronger then humans as they retain the strength but not weaknesses of a vampire. I have only read of one other case like this. A vampire in New York named Lucas in the 1800’s. He died saving the world and was returned months later human. No one knew how or why but they later discovered there was a prophecy to be fulfilled. My guess is that the exact same thing has happened with Buffy. We just need to locate that prophecy.” Giles explained.

“We’ll start looking tomorrow.”

“Of course.” Giles replied. He stood and walked to the door. William started to follow him.

“If you need anything…” Giles said turning to face William as he reached for the handle.

“We’ll call.” Giles nodded and pulled the door open. William watched his watcher walk down the path and get into his car that was parked on the curb. Satisfied, he closed the door. William went to turn around when he noticed Buffy standing at the bottom of the stairs. Taken aback, he looked at her, wondering why she was just standing there.

“Sorry.” she smiled sheepishly.

“Its okay pet.” he replied. Buffy looked at him, with a look that he couldn’t understand. He didn’t know if she had over heard anything him and Giles had been talking about but he wasn’t about to ask.

“You hungry?” William offered.

“Starved.” Buffy grinned. William stepped forward, heading for the kitchen. Buffy meekly followed behind.

“Dawn, when did you order those bloody pizza’s?”

Later that night after they had eaten, Buffy bid everyone goodnight and headed up to bed. Well William’s bed but bed all the same. She lay down, urging for sleep to come on. Today’s events had exhausted her. Buffy tossed and turned in the bed, finally falling into a restless sleep it seemed. Soon images flashed and she was dreaming again.

She stood in front of William and she had hold of his arms as she talked.

“Come on, I can feel it Slayer, you know you wanna dance.” Her voice was cocky, taunting him.

“Say it’s true, say I do want too.” He replied, he pushing her violently to the ground. He towered over her, looking down at her as if she was nothing.

“It wouldn’t be you Buffy, it would never be you.” He hissed at her, reaching into his pocket and throwing money at her like she was some dog on the street.

“You’re beneath me.” He said calmly. He turned and walked out of the ally leaving her there to cry.

Buffy woke from her dream shaken and with tears stinging her eyes. Taking a deep breath she fought to control her emotions. That was not the Spike she had gotten to know. He looked at her with such hate and anger, like she was nothing to him. But how could that be so? He is so kind to her. Worried about her and understanding her at the same time. Buffy didn’t understand and the more she remembered the more confused she got. It was seriously doing her head in. She took another deep breath and hopped out of bed. Making her way down stairs, she carefully slipped past William sleeping on the couch and headed for the back porch. Once out there she sat on the step gazing out at the night sky.

It wasn’t long before she realized that she had woken William up as the back door quietly opened behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it was him, she just knew. She didn’t understand how or why but she chose not to question it. Her head hurt with so many other things. William took a seat beside her and turned to look at her.

“You shouldn’t be out here alone.” He said as he studied her features. Her eyes where slightly glassed over and she wore a sad expression.

“It’s not safe.” He injected again.

“I just needed some fresh air besides after today I think it’s clear that I can hold my own anyway.” He laughed softly at this. She was right; she had proved that earlier today. He knew he didn't have to join her out here tonight but he ached to be near her. He had to suppress a groan earlier when he saw her try and sneak by him as she headed out here. It didn’t help that she was only wearing one of his white shirts and a pair of black knickers. He had felt him self harden at the sight of her. He inwardly scolded himself. This was no time to be thinking like that.

“That you can luv.” he replied looking up at the sky, watching the stars twinkle. He couldn't look at her for a moment longer. The moonlight made her look so beautiful, so innocent and every part of him wanted to reach and touch her. Not wanting to scare her, he concentrated on the light movement of stars in the sky. Slowly but surely he felt himself soften. He turned to look at her once more, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

“You ok luv?” He queried.

“Please don’t call me that.” she replied turning her face away from him.

“What?” he asked confused. She looked back up at him.

“Luv… I’m not… your luv.” She replied looking at the ground. His words from her dream echoed in her mind “You’re beneath me”. She couldn’t shake the words or the tone of his voice from her mind. It was so hateful, so cruel it made her want to cry. It seeped into her very core. William looked at her confused and more then a little hurt. He sat there in awe wondering could of happened to make her say that. They had be laughing and he didn't mind say they had also done a little flirting over pizza not two hours ago. What could have possibly changed in such a short amount of time? Then it clicked. She must have had another dream and it must have been bad from the look on her face.

“You had a dream didn’t you?” He said looking at her. Nodding, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.” She shakily replied trying to hold back the tears.

“If it matters to you then it does matter.” He replied placing a finger under her chin.

“You can tell me anything.” He whispered eyes sincere. She felt a shiver run down her spine at the tone of his voice. It was only then that she realised just how close they where, their lips where so close she could feel his hot breath on her face. Feeling her heart race, she took a much needed breath and pulled back slightly.

“Did you hate me?” she asked bluntly.

“What? No I never hated you its just… sometimes I didn’t completely understand you and I have a habit of losing my cool quickly… I have a tendency to do things or say things I don’t always completely mean.” Buffy looked down at the ground before looking back up at him.

“Like I’m beneath you.” Buffy spat out. William closed his eyes remembering what he had said and done to her that night. He had been so cruel and harsh to her, taking his frustrations out on her. He wished that was one memory she wouldn't get back, but here it was. Looking back at her he quickly spoke.

“Oh god Buffy…” he sighed.

“So it really did happen?” She said interrupting him.

“Yes… but please understand I was being a poonce that night, I had been hurt on patrol and you where just there… I lashed out but I never hated you, actually before you di… disappeared I was starting to have… um… well lets just say things between us kind of got complicated.” He finished shakily. She nodded her head, smiling at him.

“I’m starting to get that.” she replied.

The next day Buffy spent most of the day with Dawn as the gang were looking into the prophecy. Giles had managed to find it, even though it was written in some foreign language and they were all trying to translate it.

“Uh huh.” Willow said loudly as everyone looked over at her.

“I was able to translate part of the prophecy. I’m not to clear on it but from what I can understand apparently Buffy was tested to see if she was worthy.”

"Tested, how do you mean?" William asked.

"Well when she died saving Dawn apparently."

“Her dying to save Dawn that was a test?” William snapped. The very thought of it made him furious.

“It seems so.” Willow almost sounded apologetic. William took a deep breath trying to get his emotions under control as he continued.

“Worthy of what?” William asked walking over to her.

“That’s the part I’m unclear on… something about an up coming darkness. That three warriors will have to battle… um… a warrior of darkness that’s Buffy, a warrior of light that would be you Spike and the other of both… light and dark… Buffy is meant to bring it fourth or to being… some of the words are a bit confusing. I’m going to need more time to translate it but at least we know something.” Willow concluded a small smile on her face. Just as William was about to reply to his friend, Buffy and Dawn walked in the shop laughing and smiling, carrying shopping bags. William smiled at the sight; they looked so happy, so carefree.

“So how was your day? Did you have fun?” He asked walking over to them.

“It was great! We went to the movies, had lunch at the Espresso Pump and then did a little girl shopping… I have quite the bank account so I discovered.” Buffy smiled proudly at her new known knowledge. William smiled at her. After Buffy had died they had moved all her stuff from the crypt to William’s place. He had found a bank book tucked away under one of her pillows. He had returned it to her that morning before they headed off.

“So I’d imagine.” She smiled at him, feeling chills go down his spine as she looked into his eyes. He felt entrapped by them, she was gorgeous, the more time he spent with her the more his feelings grew, more then he ever thought possible. He quickly shook it, he could feel Buffy studying him.

“Our day went well too, we found out some stuff.” He told her as he led her to the table.

“Cool so what’s what?” Dawn asked, taking a seat next to Buffy.

“Well it mentions Buffy and Spike and a third warrior that Buffy will bring forth or something like that I’m not to clear on that part but they are meant to fight a coming darkness.” Willow replied.

“Sounds kinda dire. What else?” Dawn asked.

“We’ll know more soon.” Willow replied.

“Well that’s good right? At least we know something now.” Buffy didn’t reply she seemed zoned out as Dawn spoke again.

“Buffy?” Still she got no response. Buffy felt her head pulsate in pain and once again she was flooded by memories.

“I get that none of you can take a life, I spent over a hundred years doing it, leaving a bloody path behind me and I did it with a song in my heart… its Ben or Dawn… she was nice to me when I gave her no reason to be, I get that Ben might be innocent in all of this I don’t know if he’s working with Glory or even if he knows what she has planned for Dawn and honestly I don’t care… I’m a murderer, a vampire and if it comes down to choosing between Ben and Dawn he hasn’t giving me one reason to take his side… you lot can’t do it, I understand that… so I will.”

Buffy took a deep breath as she looked around at all the worried faces; she had tears running down her face she realised. She looked at William and Dawn.
“I was a vampire.” She whispered looking at William now. It wasn’t a question it was a fact and when no one said anything she continued feeling her anger build.

“How could you not tell me that?" She asked William. He could hear the hurt in her voice but he didn't know how to answer.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, he felt like a wounded animal.

"What do you remember?" Willow asked, diverting the attention away from her friend.

“Dawn was in trouble… I… I was going to kill someone to save her… Ben…. I… oh God I don’t understand… it’s still all so mixed up.” She cried.

“Its going to be okay luv, just give it time.” He replied finally finding his voice. He placed a supportive hand on her shoulder as she took it all in.





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