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Four years ago, Sunnydale:

Joyce stared at the white door that lead to her fifteen year old daughter’s bedroom and sighed deeply. The poor girl had not come out of her room for almost three days, only when necessary, and Joyce was worried terribly about her.

Buffy had been acting strangely all week and hardly ever wanted to go next door to visit William. It was as if the petite blonde had suddenly lost all interest in the life of her very best friend in the whole world. And this concerned Joyce immensely. The sanded-haired mother had tried to coax her daughter to open up and tell her what had happened so quickly as to make her do a complete 180, but Buffy would only mumble a meek, “Nothing,” and precede to go to her room and turn the stereo up full blast.

Joyce shook her head uneasily and placed a hand on the flat grains of the door.

It had all started on the first day of Summer vacation. The day had started out normal enough, even pleasant, for everyone. All the children were so happy to have an entire summer off of school to do with however they wanted. Buffy had woken up a whole hour early than what she normally did and proceeded to get ready to spend the day with her close-knit group of friends at the beach.

And when the door bell rang at nine, Joyce wasn’t surprised to find Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, and William, with his recently bleached locks and new attire. They were all, save William, dressed completely in their best beachwear, ready to welcome the sun with huge smiles.

Now Joyce considered herself young enough to understand the rather unique phases that teenagers went through, but this was the kind of thing that threw her for a loop. She just couldn’t grasp the reason why a nice, studious, handsome young man would go to such great lengths to change his entire appearance so suddenly, or why it had to be similar to Billy Idol.

Joyce, along with Giles downright refused to call him by that ridiculous nickname of his, and had only just recently began to except his choice of clothing and hair color. They really had absolutely no idea what had possessed him to make such a drastic change, although they suspected it had a lot to do with the most recent addiction to the Scooby gang, as they liked to call themselves.

~*~*~*~

Buffy had come rushing down the stairs, smiling cheerfully at her friends in the doorway. Her blonde hair was held up atop her head loosely by a small pony tail holder, and a few rebellious strands had escaped to frame her round face . Her ever-sparkling hazel eyes were outlined in a soft pink shadow and there was a faint shade of rose that adorned her curved cheek bones. Shiny gloss had bee freshly applied to her full lips in the palest shade of pink that she owned.

Joyce’s eyes threaten to fill with tears as she took in the appearance of her eldest daughter, and realized how much she had grown up in the last few months.

Buffy’s friends smiled warmly at the girl they all consider the leader of the group. She was the very glue that held them all together, and without her they surely wouldn’t still be as close as they all were.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Buffy handed her beach gear off to
Tara and greeted everyone with a joyful hello and another dazzling smile. Joyce paid close attend to William and his reaction to her daughter’s entrance. Something in his awed expression lead her to believe that he cared for her daughter in a way that the tiny blonde did not know. Every time she walked into the room he would light up for a moment, then try to hide it behind a few teasing remarks that he sent her way. Joyce thought it was absolutely adorable and even encouraged it in some way, although she never made her realization known.

She watched, not unnoticed, but not obvious to the rest of the young adults in the room, and picked up bits and pieces of their conversation here and there. She heard Willow mention something about she and Tara needing to get a little more sun, and Anya saying that she was so glad that she had at last found a job that paid generously enough for her to be able to finally afford her dream car. But it was the last thing that William had mentioned that had caused a great silence to befall on the group.

‘Faith said she’d met us there. So we’d best be on or way, pet.’

Joyce noticed the abrupt change in her daughter’s attitude and watched attentively as the smile that once spread across the blonde’s face fall into a slight frown that she tried to hide unsuccessfully. The others in the group, including William watched as her approach changed and she distanced herself from whatever the day had in store for her.

‘Faith’s comin’?’

She probably thought she did a good jump in hiding the annoyance in her voice, and to her friends she most likely had, but no one could fool Joyce, especially not Buffy. She saw right through the fake barriers her daughter built around her heart to protect herself , and on some days, she admired her for being such an adult about tough situations, but at other times, she just wanted to grab her eldest daughter and give her a good shake to get her to snap of her foolish isolationism.

This was one of those times.

If she would just let whatever was in her head and heart out, maybe everything would right itself and the fifteen year old wouldn’t have to cut herself off from the people she cared about because she felt threatened. Joyce really truly believed that Buffy and William would make a nice couple, and wished she could do something, anything, to make the two see how they really felt.

But who ever listened to her? Was she invisible?

Slipping out of the room quietly, watching to make sure no one noticed her departure into the small hallway besides the stairs. She still remained in earshot and although she couldn’t watch all their reactions, she listened as best she could.

‘Well, yeah, pet. We are dating now.’

‘That’s fine, I just didn’t know we inducted her into the Scooby gang so soon, is all.’

‘Thought it was a given since she and I started-’

‘Dating, yeah, I know. You have to keep reminding us all the damn time?’

The motherly part of Joyce wanted to rush in there at once and correct her daughter for her coarse language, but she stood her ground and just listened quietly as the two blondes picker back and forth, the others in the group listening too.

‘What’s that s’posed to mean? You gotta problem with Faith?’

‘What if I did?’

‘You know, you’ve been a right bint these last few weeks. There something you need to tell me?’

‘Well, maybe the reason I’m being such a bint, as you call it, is because I can’t stand the way you two act around each other.’

‘Wha’sa matter with the way we act around each other, Buffy?’

‘Oh, nothing, if you’re tryin’ to make the rest of us die of nausea.’

Joyce had to smile at that. It was cute how they both hid behind anger. Buffy saying that the couple were nauseating was probably her way of concealing the jealously she felt.

‘Can’t ‘elp it if we both find each other attractive.’

‘Well you don’t have to ‘find each other attractive’ right under my nose. It’s incredibly gross to watch you two sticking your tongues down each others throat.’
‘So what, now I can’t kiss my girlfriend, pet?’

‘Not in front of me, you can’t!’

There is was. Joyce had been right, just jealously where Buffy portrayed nausea to be. She had to bite back a laugh at that. Tuning back in, she listened to Willow finally intervene.

‘Guys, let’s not fight, okay? This is supposed to be a happy day, remember? No school for a whole summer?’

‘Ya, man, no homework, or weird English teachers with B.O., and best of all, no Coldelia!’

‘You’re right, Xander, this week is about carefree fun. Let’s get out of this hot house and head to the beach. Mom we’re leaving!’

Joyce waited a moment before she came into view from around the corner, needing them to think she’d been in the kitchen the whole time. “Have a good time, sweetie. Be careful though. Remember not to swim right after you eat.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at her mother, while the others just smiled, amused. “Check, no drowning myself in the ocean with a load full of pinic-y goodness.”

“I’m serious, Buffy. I want to know you’re safe.”

“And I will be mom, don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” She replied, following her friends out the door into the hot summer sun.

“Oh, and don’t forget to wear your seat belt!” Joyce called out, tilting her head in an attempt to make the sound of her voice each her daughter’s ears.

“I will.” Buffy said, smiling back as she waved to her mother. “Bye.”

~*~*~*~

Joyce took a deep breath before she raised her fist to knock on Buffy’s bedroom door. She didn’t hear any response right away and reached down to turn the handle when she caught the sound of her daughter’s voice, slightly garbled by the barrier between them.

“I’m fine, mom. I’ll be down in a while.”

She sounded sad and that made Joyce frown even more. “You sure you’re okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah, I just wanna be alone, that’s all.”

Joyce sighed once more, before she turned and walked away.

~*~*~*~

Two months later, Sunnydale:

In silence, Buffy and Faith waited in the deserted hallway of Sunnydale High, sitting on opposite ends of a long wooden bench, putting as much space between them as they were allowed to. They hadn’t looked at each other once, each deliberately looking straight in front of them at the aged tan wall that framed the other side of the hallway.

Buffy stared straight ahead at the wall, as if daring it to stare back and was silent. She didn’t move once since the principal had brought them both here, on the bench outside his office, ten minutes ago. She sighed as loudly as she could, not caring if she attracted the attention of the dark hair girl on the further end of the bench. Leaning on her left arm, she used her right to sift through the wicked knots in her honey colored hair, wincing when she unintentionally rubbed a finger against a sore spot on her scalp. She gritted her teeth when she found the rather large lump there, and she tired to ignore the stinging ache there.

The angry red mark on her right cheek looked much worse than her hair and actually much worse than it felt. She gingerly brought her hand back up and used her index finger to lightly touch the small cut above her right eye and realized that it too was very tender. This time she felt stronger and was able to hold back her grimace, not wanting to give the other girl any satisfaction.

Finally tearing her gaze away from the wall, she looked down at the numerous little bruises and scratches that adorned her sun-kissed limbs and rolled her eyes before adverting her stare to Faith.

The brunette girl looked a lot more worse for wear and had a lot more square surface covered in bruises. The tiny, black tank she wore gave anyone who would look a nice view of not just her boobs-which by the way she flaunted everywhere-by also of the angry bits of flesh that were turning shades of red, purple, and green. Her dark hair looked just as bad as the blonde’s and it the knots in it said anything, it would be that she had some pretty big lumps on her head too. Both of her plump cheeks were black-and-blue and she had a busted lip that seemed to leek a drop or so of blood every few minutes or so. She would then lift her hand and hastily wipe at it, as if she felt disgusted at the very action.

Sensing eyes on her, Faith turned to look at her assaulter, and chuckled. “So who do ya think won, B?”

But Buffy didn’t look amused and narrowed her eyes at the other girl. “Don’t know, don’t care. Wasn’t about winning.”

“That right? That why you attacked me outside in the courtyard?” Faith asked, her voice full of contempt.

Buffy shrugged, unconcerned about the damage either one of them caused.

“’Cause you deserved it. Anyone who hurts people that I care about will have to hear from me, and the way I see it? I had ever right to ‘attack’ you in the courtyard.”

“Oh, brave little Buffy coming to her lap dog’s rescue. I wonder what the medal will say?” Faith snarled, her chocolate brown eyes darkening to an even deeper shade.

“Doesn’t matter. I think I got my point across. Don’t you?” Buffy gave her wicked smile, letting her know just who she was messing with.

“Oh, yeah, loud and clear, B. Which, I’m guessing was very difficult from the way you look.” Faith laughed unkindly.

“You’re the one with the busted lip, Faith.” The blonde pointed out in an even voice. Faith instantly shut up.

“Oh, yeah, I’m real scared. I better watch my back.”

Buffy didn’t like the sarcastic tone in her voice and was quick to shoot back, “If you think it will help, why not, right?”

“You gonna beat up Angel too?” She asked suddenly, although not really caring either way. “Wager he probably deserves it as much as I do. I mean, I couldn’t fuck myself now could I?”

“Angel will get what’s coming to him. Giles will see to that.” Buffy told her, turning to look back at the wall in front of her.

Faith chuckled, clearly amused by the blonde’s last comment. “Oh? Is daddy gonna give him a good spankin’?”

“Shut up, Faith.” Buffy responded, not sparing her a glance.

“You know what I think?” The dark-haired girl continued without even waiting to see if Buffy would answer. “I think you’re jealous.”

That got Buffy’s attention. She turned her neck to look at Faith so sharply that it almost cracked.

“Jealous?” She huffed. “Jealous?! Oh what? You?” She gave a short snort that almost became a laugh. “Please! Don’t flatter yourself. You have nothing for me to even ‘be’ jealous of.”

“I have Spike.”

“Had, sweetie. As in past tense. You think he’s gonna want you after you went behind his back and slept with his brother?” Buffy questioned her seriously.

But Faith wasn’t fazed. “Have, had, whatever. The point is that I had him first.”

Buffy tried to ignore the piercing ache that she felt in her heart at Faith’s last statement.

‘The point is that I had him first.’

She shook her head to rid herself of the jealous thoughts she was having. But Faith wasn’t planning on letting up anytime soon.

“Did you know I was his first? He’d never been with a woman before me, B.” She said venomously. She had an evil little smirk on her lips that Buffy so wanted to smack right off of her.

Instead, she clinched her fists. Hard.

“You’d never imagine it’d be someone like me, B, didcha?”

“Shut up, Faith.”

“You’d thought it’d be you, huh? ‘Cause you guys are just ‘so’ close. It must kill to know that I got there first, right, B?”

“Shut up!” Buffy stood then, arms straight at her side, fists clinching so hard she though she’d break the skin of her palm with her nails. She was so afraid that if she didn’t keep them like that, then she would haul off and punch Faith in the nose again. And she didn’t that restarting a fight outside Snyder’s office would do her any good if she wasn’t already kicked out anyway. And, God, she didn’t even wanna think about what her mother would say…

Faith laughed in her face like it was the funniest thing she’d even seen in her life. “You really believed it’d be you, didn’t you?”

The truth was however, that Buffy really did always picture them losing their virginities together at some point in their lives. It was a little fantasy that had started out as them kissing when she had been nine, and grew from there as she got older and realized that there was so much more you could do with a person besides kissing.

She’d spent days, weeks even, mourning in her room with the stereo turned up as high as it would go, when she had found out that Spike was dating Faith. She spent even more time depressed, alone in her room when she found out from Xander that Spike had lost his virginity to the dark-aired tramp. She had avoided Spike, after that, at all cost. She couldn’t go on pretending that she didn’t know what she knew, and she didn’t want things to be different with them. How could she look at the boy in front of her and not realize that he was no longer her Spike, her William? How could she handle it when she realized that he now belonged to Faith?

“I hate you.” Buffy seethed, hazel eyes full of anger.

“Feeling’ mutual, B.”

Just then the office door behind them opened, and a furious Joyce came out. “Buffy? In the car. Now!”

~*~*~*~

“I just don’t know what to do with you, Buffy. I really don’t” Joyce’s eyes never left the road she addressed her daughter. “You started a fight. And on the first day of school, no less.”

Buffy sit in the passenger sit of the green SUV as it rolled through another green light and slowed to turn a corner. “I said I was sorry, mom.”

Joyce sighed. “I know you did, but Buffy, you could have gotten into so much trouble. I actually had to talk Snyder out of expelling you.”

Buffy didn’t look at her mother, but kept her gaze directed outside as she watched street signs and houses pass by.

Joyce glazed over to her sulking daughter and asked her what was wrong.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t you do that Buffy. Don’t shut me out of your life because you think that I wouldn’t understand or some nonsense. I need to know what goes on in that pretty head of yours.” Joyce’s voice soften as she smiled lovingly at Buffy.

Buffy finally turned to look at the older woman and sighed. “It was about Spike, mom.”

“Spike?” Joyce frowned, confused. “How is you beating up a girl at school in any way related to Spike…except for the girl being his girlfriend and all, I guess.”

“Faith cheated on him mom. With Angel.” Buffy said sadly, as if she were feeling the bleached-blonde’s emotions like they were her own.

“Oh, honey that awful.” Joyce said, instantly disliking Faith already more than she did the first time she had met her. “How’s he taking it?”

“I really wouldn’t know, mom. He hasn’t been around for the last two days. I just found out from Willow and Xander today. Apparently, Spike didn’t feel I should know.” Buffy replied, disheartened.

“Oh, I’m sure he didn’t mean to leave you out of the loop, honey. He probably just wanted some time alone, is all.” Joyce tried to reason with her fifteen years old daughter.

“I know,” Buffy breathed. She turned to revert her attention back to the window, wondering how one slut bomb like Faith McKinney could cause so much damage.




A/N: Thanks to Enchantress, spikes slayer, gypsy_jin, Nic (Smitten),and BuffyandSpikeForever. Please review and go visit Smitten's site www.bittersweetspike.com.





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