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Taking a seat on the top step of the back porch, Buffy sighed. Her eyes traveled around the expanse of the large, fenced-in backyard, as she bit her lip in thought. Lifting her arms to place her elbows on the tops of her thighs, she leant forward to rest her chin in her hands, balancing her weight on them.

It had finally stopped raining, but the dark storm clouds had yet to move from their spots above the normally sunny city. Buffy had always hated the rain, ever since she was a little girl, and these huge almost black puffs of clouds hanging over her head were just as bad, in her opinion. They hide the sun from view, and seemed to put a damper on an already bad day. They somehow seemed appropriate though. It was almost as if they were manifestations of the feelings churning around in the petite blonde’s mind.

She was so confused, probably more so now than in any other time in her life thus far. The feelings she had, the old feelings she thought she’d buried in the past, and the new ones that had been planted the day she returned, now seemed to all begin to mingle together and take root deep inside her. She wasn’t sure what was up or down, what was right or wrong, and she had no idea where to begin to start unraveling it all to see where she stood.

She felt at home in New York. The people, the places, and the speed of the whole place was great. She had friends, and school, and a mother and sister, and life was considerably good for Buffy there. She could be herself, and not have to worry about what people thought of her. She was wanted, and needed, and loved, and the blonde had definitely come to a realization that it was where she belonged.

But coming back home to Sunnydale…It was so wonderful. The sights, the sounds, and the atmosphere was just what she needed. It was warm, and comfortable, familiar. Everything here, the houses, the people, her friends…they all had a place inside her heart. They were hers. And now, Buffy felt like she was where she was supposed to be, where she belonged. It was almost as though the past three years spent in New York were just some extra long vacation that she had finally returned from.

But she felt the same thing in New York. When she was there she was one person, and when she was in Sunnydale, she felt like a completely different person. It bewildered Buffy, and had her questioning everything she had come to believe the last three years. How could you feel at home in two different places? And if you did, how were you supposed to choose between them? Is this what kids who split their time between both parents’ houses feel like?

The opening and closing of the back door jarred her from her thoughts, and Buffy looked up sharply, finding Darla looking back down at her with concerned eyes.

“You okay? You seem a little tense.” She wondered, slowly taking a seat on Buffy’s side, careful not to disturb the bulge in her abdomen.

Buffy smiled uneasily, shrugging her shoulders at the other blonde woman. “As fine as I can be.”

Darla’s brows shot up at that. “Considering?”

Buffy looked away for a moment, seemingly very interested in the pattern of the stitching of her tan kakis. She took a deep breath, then let it out quickly, before turning to face Darla again, smiling slightly. “Well…let’s just say that this has been one big emotionally draining trip back home.”

Darla chuckled at that. “Well, I guess we all go through them, don’t we?”

“I guess so.” Buffy agreed. “I was just kinda hoping that I would be able to avoid it, is all.” She smiled.

“Don’t we all.” The older blonde told her, smiling warmly. She then gasped as she felt a slight pressure against the inside of her stomach.

“What is it?” Buffy asked, worried. She went to stand up. “Should I go get Angel?”

“No! No, I’m fine.” Darla told her, reaching out to stop her from getting up. She smiled, her whole face lighting up brightly. “The baby just kicked, is all. Nothing to be worried about. It’s a good thing.”

Buffy visibly relaxed, and smiled back. “How far along are you?” She asked curiously.

“Seven months.” Darla told her, patting her stomach lovingly. “I can’t wait.”

“Boy?” Buffy wondered aloud.

“Yep.” The older blonde said, popping her ‘p’. “Angel and I have just decided on a name the other day, actually. We’re calling him Connor.”

Buffy smiled. “That’s a great name. Very strong. I bet he’s gonna be so handsome.”

Darla laughed softly. “He’ll look just like his father.”

“Think he’ll have his father’s charm?” Buffy giggled, sliding a stray piece of hair behind her ears as the wind blew faintly.

“Oh, yeah.” Darla chuckled, looking down where her hand still was rubbing circles on her stomach. “I think he already does.”

Both girls were quiet after that, mutually lost in thought. Darla finally broken the silence, looking up at Buffy curiously.

“Do you want children?”

The petite blonde’s head whipped up so fast Darla was sure she gave herself whiplash. “What? Whatdaya mean? Like now?” She asked, visibly panicking.

Darla laughed at her scared expression. “No, not now. I mean eventually. Do you want to have children someday?”

“Oh!” Buffy laughed, running a hand through her hair thoughtfully. “Well, yeah, ‘course I do. Eventually. When I’m ready. But you know, not now. Sometime down the road, though. Definitely.”

“How many?” Darla wondered.

Buffy shrugged, smiling goofily. “Dunno.”

Darla was shocked. “Really? Doesn’t every girl plan out their entire life in some perfect fairy tale kind of way?”

Buffy chuckled softly, hazel eyes dancing with amusement. “Well, I guess I did. Plan, I mean. And yeah, it probably was in some kind of perfect fairy tale way, but life doesn’t really work out like that. Things just no seem to work out the way I plan them.”

Darla tilted her head to the side, studying the younger blonde, and watched the disappointed look pass over her features. “And how’s that?” She inquired quietly.

“Well, for one, I thought I’d be doin’ a little better in the guy department.” Buffy explained, sitting up straighter.

Darla grinned friendly. “No boyfriend?”

“Not so much.” Buffy responded, looking back out at the yard.

“Well, just because you don’t have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean you can’t still think about it. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being prepared, right?” Darla suggested, adjusting herself to find a more comfortable position.

Buffy shrugged, indifferent. “I guess.” She almost cringed at Darla’s blinding smile. Something told her that this little conversation was about to get very embarrassing on her part.

“So, tell me, what would this perfect fairy tale life be like.” Darla posed, patting Buffy’s hand reassuringly.

Buffy just shrugged, not really wanting to share stories right now. “I don’t really know.”

But Darla wasn’t giving up so easily, and she pressed it further. “Well, who would the lucky guy be?”

Could there be a more loaded question? Buffy wondered silently. Why did she have to ask that question?

Buffy wondered silently. that
“W-well, I don’t know. I guess it would be the cute blonde vampire from that show ‘Sarah the Vampire Slayer’.” She grinned, satisfied with her answer.

Darla laughed, moving around again. Buffy was starting to wonder if she should ask her if she wanted to move into one of the cushioned chairs on the far left of the porch. “Well, everyone would say that, Buffy. I mean, someone real. Someone you could actually be with.”

Buffy inwardly sighed. Not gonna get outta this one, am I? “Honestly?” She looked at Darla with a look that suggested she either was, or was about to be in extreme pain.

“Honestly.” Darla confirmed, nodding her head in agreement.

“Spike.” Buffy said, with her head down. Her voice had been so soft that Darla wasn’t sure she had heard her at first. She nodded in understanding, already have been relayed the whole ‘Buffy and Spike story’ from Angel more than once.

When Buffy realized that Darla wasn’t going to respond, she slowly lifted her head, and looked up at the other blonde. “Aren’t you gonna tell me I’m crazy? To still want a practically married man?”

Darla shook her head gently, a small forming on her lips. “Absolutely not.” She said. “I’d never judge you about something like that. You can’t choose who you love, Buffy. Because, really, do you honestly think I would’ve chosen to fall in love with your brother?”

Both woman laughed at that, breaking the tension for a moment. And just like that, the damn broke, and everything Buffy had been hiding came spilling out. She told Darla all the silly little fantasies that she had come up with as a child, the more erotic ones she’d had in high school, and the ones she’d always dream about when she went to sleep at night; The ones that had always ended in ‘…and they lived happily ever after.’ She confessed that she had always dreamed of having three kids-one boy, and girl boys-and that she wanted to name the girl after Jenny, and one after Spike’s real mother Anne; the boy would be William Jr. She revealed that she really wanted to stay in Sunnydale to raise their family because New York was just to fast, and that she had Spike would get married in the Spring time in a smaller ceremony, not the big, extravagant service that Cordelia wanted.

And Darla listened. Boy, did she listen. Never once did she interrupt or laugh or tell Buffy she was completely insane. She just sat there, silent, listening to everything the petite blonde had to say, and then some. She didn’t intervene, didn’t judge her at all, and for that, Buffy was extremely thankful. And when she was done pouring her heart out, Buffy was silent as Darla smiled kindly.

“See, everyone is entitled to a little fantasizing every once and a while. All fairy tales have to come from somewhere.” Darla told her, glad that she could make a new friend, and be of help to her.

Buffy laughed sullenly, looking down at her feet. “There’s only one problem with that.”

“What’s that?” Darla posed, tilting her blonde head to study the other woman.

Buffy looked up, and met her eyes. “I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore.”





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