IDENTITY CRISIS

*Heather Martin*

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is a story with characters created by Joss Whedon. I am only borrowing them.

Spoilers- This will have many spoilers. It occurs after Wrecked, and will refer to everything before that also. But mostly, Fool for Love.

Summary- A spell has a far greater impact than Willow or Spike counted on. The vampire is split into two separate embodiments: the demon and William. But there’s still Spike, who has to decide who he really is, the demon or the man. And time is running out.

“Poor Spikey! Can’t be a human, can’t be a vampire.” ~Wrecked
But what if he had a choice?

 
 
Only one more part after this one. Yay! I might add an epilogue too, if you want. I’m thinking it would be like NC-17, if I do. Do you want?

Chapter 9- Yin-Yang

Buffy tried to get him off her, but she was backed into the wall. The demon’s body was pressed against her, preventing any movement. He was strong. She didn’t remember Spike being this strong.

“I’ve always wanted to do this. But everytime I passed the idea to Spike’s consciousness, he buried it.”

Buffy squirmed as he lowered to her neck. He kissed the mark left by Angel, the master, and Dracula. Then he bit down.

+++++++++

Spike, who was now made up of William, ran to the cemetery. He came to his crypt, and went over to the side of it. There, propped against the structure, was his motorcycle. He hopped on.

The engine roared as he drove away. A wave of uneasiness swept over him. He hadn’t seen direct sunlight in 122 years. But William had. The two memories clouded together, creating a muddled chaos.

Spike knew exactly where the demon took his slayer. The same warehouse he and Dru had occupied. It was almost as if he wanted Spike to find him.

He parked the motorcycle near the entrance. Then he rushed inside.

His intuition was right, they were there. Buffy was chained to the wall. Flashbacks of when he had declared his love came back. Then it had seemed right. Now, the act enraged him. And the fact that the demon was draining her, made him explode. He grabbed hold of the oblivious demon’s shoulders, and pried him off.

The demon faced him. He wiped a stain of red liquid trickling down his chin. He grinned. “I’ve been expecting you, Spike. Not so soon, though. I didn’t get to finish my birth.”

Spike looked toward Buffy. Her head slumped limply. The distraction gave the demon an opportunity to knock him to the ground.

“I’ll just have to finish turning her later,” the demon informed.

Spike jumped to his feet. Snarling, he rammed into his former dark nature.

A laugh escaped the demon. “I can smell humanity all over you. Should I be calling you William?”

Spike smirked. “Doesn’t matter, mate, since I can kill you now. And the fancy part is if you kill me, you kill yourself. So, why don’t you just give up?”

The demon was in hysterics now. “Don’t think so. I have a better plan. It isn’t too late, you can merge with me, and cast William out.”

Spike shook his head. “Nah, you hurt my slayer. You see I love her, and would never do that.”

“But don’t you see, Buffy will be ours eternally,” the demon commented.

Spike punched him. “I prefer her the way she is.”

The demon growled. He kicked Spike hard in the chest. “You are just an ignorant boy!”

Reaching into his duster, Spike pulled out a stake. He raised it, pointing the wood at his opponent.

“Go ahead and try,” the demon provoked.

Spike thrust the weapon at his heart. The demon grabbed his arm, trying to get the stake out of his finger with his other hand. Spike head-butted him. Then he kicked.

“I may be human, but I can still kick your lousy arse!”

They fought for a long time. Neither were winning. It was an even match. But then the demon had to go and unbalance it by kicking Spike in the groin.

“Buggering fu. . .!” Spike yelled in pain.

The demon tore the stake out of his grasp. “I’m stronger than you. I always will be. Dark triumphs over light, there’s no changing it. So don’t try. Just surrender to me.”

Spike was breathing hard. All his energy drained away. Everything stopped at that moment.

Then it happened. The demon hadn’t noticed that he was near the wall, or that Buffy had awoke. She rose her legs up, bringing them into his back. He fell forward, stake clattering to the ground.

Spike dove for the stick. He managed to retrieve it. “Thanks, luv,” he thanked her.

She smiled. “No problem. Just hurry up. I’m sore and stuff. I want down.”

He smiled back at her.

Spike pounced on the demon. The stake fell right above his heart. One easy motion, and poof.

“You can’t do it,” the demon stated.

“Why not?” Spike spat.

The demon grinned. He licked his fangs. “I’m part of you whether you like it or not. You’re nothing without me. I make you whole.”

Spike couldn’t move. He was in a trance by the words.

“Don’t deny your own existence,” the demon went on.

Spike moved the stake away. He dropped it to the floor.

“Spike, what are you doing?” Buffy asked. Her voice wavered. She sounded tired, weak, and scared.

Spike looked over. Sadness adorned his eyes. “Sorry, pet, he’s right.”

She violently shook her head. “No! You are good. You’ve changed.”

“I may do good things but darkness will always haunt my depths. This is what is meant to be.”

Tears fell down her cheeks. “I love you,” she choked.

His gaze was tender. “Do you love me or William?”

There was a long pause. Spike thought she wasn’t going to answer, but then she did. “I love ‘you’. Whoever that is.”

He could feel his heart pound. God, he was going miss that. Soon he would be cold and still once more. Back to drinking cow’s blood.
“Love you too, Buffy. Always.”

With that, Spike met the demon’s eyes. “Let’s get this over with.”

+++++++++

Buffy was blinded by a bright light. She shut her eyes tightly.

A heaviness fell over her chest. She had wanted a normal life with Spike. That was why she had urged him to merge with William. But the truth was that Spike was both the demon and the human. He was an equal coin. You couldn’t have one without the other.

Things quieted. Buffy opened her eyes. She saw Spike lying on the ground. No one else was there, so he must be whole.

“Spike!?” she called out to him.

_________________________________________________________

So, Spike is complete now. He is the demon and William combined. But is he the same as to begin with? Wait and find out in the last installment. Plus that epilogue, if you want.





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