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IDENTITY CRISIS

*Heather Martin*

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is a story with characters created by Joss Whedon. I am only borrowing them.

Spoilers- This will have many spoilers. It occurs after Wrecked, and will refer to everything before that also. But mostly, Fool for Love.

Summary- A spell has a far greater impact than Willow or Spike counted on. The vampire is split into two separate embodiments: the demon and William. But there’s still Spike, who has to decide who he really is, the demon or the man. And time is running out.

“Poor Spikey! Can’t be a human, can’t be a vampire.” ~Wrecked
But what if he had a choice?

Thanks everybody for the reviews. I love them! Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.

Chapter 8- Metamorphosis

Spike slept until morning. When he awoke, he found that there was no one in the house except himself and William.

“Willow took off for class, and Xander picked Little Bit up for school,” William told the vampire.

Spike detested the fact that William was using his nick-name for Dawn. The human was trying to steal his girls from him.

“Where is Buffy?” Spike questioned.

William shrugged. “I haven’t seen her since yesterday.”

Worry collected inside Spike. Buffy hadn’t come home from patrol. That meant something bad had happened.

The phone rang. Both men stared at each other.

William stepped toward the kitchen. “I’ll see who it is.” He couldn’t wait to talk on the new device.

Spike rushed after him. “Hey now, what gives you the right to. . .?”

He wasn’t fast enough. William had gotten to the telephone. He picked it up, placing it to his ear. “Hello?” He smiled with pride. He’d done it just like Dawn had when she received a call from a friend.

“Who is this?” a voice inquired on the other line.

“William. Are you wanting to speak to one of the residents at the Summers home?” he replied.

“William?” Is that you, Spike?”

“No, but he’s here.”

“What do you mean he’s here?”

“Spike is standing next to me.”

Spike had had it. He snatched the phone away. “Give me that!” he shouted.

The vampire demanded to the receiver,” What do you bloody want?”

“Spike,” the man growled.

“Peaches,” he said with just as much loathing.

“What are you doing there? If you laid one hand on Buffy. . .”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Angelus, I haven’t hurt the slayer. Now, if I laid a hand on her is another matter.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Angel hissed.

Spike grinned. “Let’s just say Buffy and I have. . . Gotten rather close.”

“I know I should have come there. But I thought about what happened last time and decided against it.”

“Look, it’s Buffy’s bleeding life, if she wants to spend it with me that’s her business.”

Spike could hear Angel breathing hard out of anger.

“Let me talk to her!” Angel yelled.

Sudden seriousness crept over Spike. “I would, but she isn’t here. She didn’t come home last night.”

“She didn’t come home? Great, that means she’s already been captured.”

Spike clutched the phone tighter. “Captured?” he whispered.

“Cordy had a vision. Buffy was in some sort of warehouse.”

“Is that all you know?”

“Well, we think a vampire captured. Cordy saw a glimpse of Buffy being bitten.”

“Right then. I’ll go save her.” Spike hung up the phone, not caring if it was abrupt.

He ran over to the door. As he did, he was greeted by Mr.Sunshine streaming through the window. He hollered as his hand began to smoke. Moving away, it stopped.

“Bloody hell!” He kicked the wall in frustration.

Ok, he had forgotten what time it was. He scanned the room, searching for a blanket. There was none in sight, but he found his duster hanging up. He took it, and draped it over his head.

“What are you doing?” William questioned, from behind him.

Spike’s hand hovered over the doorknob. “Going to save Buffy, that’s what.”

William shook his head. “You’re an idiot. It’s day out. You’ll fry.”

“I don’t give a fuck. I let her down once, I can’t do that again.”

“So, what are you going to do? Wander around, burning up little by little, until you explode?”

Spike turned around. He removed his leather coat. “That’s right, you wanker, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m not a ponce like you, I don’t back away just because there’s danger.”

William glared. “I’ve never been exposed to real danger, but that doesn’t mean I’ll walk away. Especially when it involves someone I love.”

Spike froze. “You love her?”

“Yeah, I love her. And I know you do too. So, let me go after her. I have a better chance.”

“You are going to get ripped to shreds!” Spike exclaimed.

“Maybe, but at least I’ll make it to the target without turning to dust.”

And it hit Spike, William was right. A lone tear escaped his eye. Buffy needed him and he was helpless.

Spike raised his head. He stared at William, really seeing him. His own crystal blue eyes were gazing back at him. Not a weak nancy-boy, but a confident and determined man. That was him. They were each other. Spike knew what he had to do.

“I think I’m ready, mate,” Spike declared.

“I’ve been ready,” William said.

They inched forward, closing the space between them. Then they collided.

+++++++++

Buffy awoke. It was dark. Her slayer eyes adjusted fast, her pupils letting in as much light as possible.

She tried to move her arms, but found that they were held by something. She heard clanking. Her eyes were brought up and she made out chains. Fabulous, she thought.

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up, my dear,” the demon’s voice said. He stepped into her view. His eyes glowed in the blackness.

Buffy backed as far as she could against the wall. His cold fingers brushed away her hair. He touched the said of her throat, stroking it.

+++++++++

Spike howled as he merged with his other self. A burst of light was all he could see. Then flashes of memory hit him.

He saw Cicely. “I’m beneath you.”

Then Drusilla turned him.

He watched as he killed the slayer during The Boxer Rebellion. And he felt remorse. In all these years, he finally felt something about that.

Then he killed the other slayer on the subway.

He crashed into Sunnydale. He promised Dru that they would dance on the slayer’s grave.

Drusilla left him.

He saw Buffy. He remembered every single moment with her. Why he had fallen in love made sense. She was his sunshine.

Buffy jumped. He wasn’t strong enough.

She came back.

The spell split him up. Buffy told him she cared. She was captured. He merged with William.

His eyes shot open. He fell forward, sucking in air. The oxygen didn’t seem enough somehow.

Soon, he was under control. His hand came up, feeling his chest. It was there. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Spike’s eyes widened. Bloody hell, he had a beating heart.

_______________________________________________________

For all of you cursing because Spike has turned into a nancy-boy, I just want to say, “Don’t jump to conclusions. The story isn’t over yet.”

To clarify, Spike is William now, with Spike’s memories and strength.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 





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