It was bloody incredible.
The way she’d smelled, the way he’d heard her every gasp, every sigh. The way her skin had felt electric against his…
And god, how he’d been able to move… He’d been thrusting so hard, so fast… And then when she’d bitten him…
It had been the single most incredible experience of his life.
He’d never felt more complete that he had when his fangs were in her neck at the same time hers were in his. His world had both come apart and crashed back together in an instant, and he knew he’d never be the same as he had been before.
Spike couldn’t manage to feel anything but contentment now. Even knowing Drusilla was turned and not dead, even knowing he’d failed to take down Angelus, he felt right. Those were concerns for later. Now was the time to bask in the glow of this new thing he’d found and the woman he chose to share it with.
She had fallen asleep almost immediately, her body too worn down for much exertion. Yet she slept with a small smile on her face, her body curled into his, and Spike knew she’d felt what he had.
The outside world couldn’t touch this moment. It was theirs.
He ran his hand along the skin of her back, feeling tingles rush up his spine as he marveled at how intense something as simple as that felt now. He was waking up for the first time, the world sharp, crisp, clear.
She murmured in her sleep and pressed herself closer to him. Spike’s arms grew tighter around her, and she sighed and nuzzled into him, as if instinctively seeking more of him. His one regret was that it had been Drusilla and not Buffy herself to bring him into this world, though he understood her reluctance, and was grateful to Dru for doing it, even if he knew it had been difficult for Buffy. This is how it had to be and somehow, he thought Dru knew that, too.
Spike pressed his lips right below her hairline and breathed in deeply. The softness of her skin, the richness of her scent… He could happily drown in her forever…
As soon as he finally gave Angelus what he deserved, Spike vowed to take her far away from here, take her somewhere beautiful. Lose himself in her for centuries.
She whispered his name in her sleep and Spike smiled against her. He knew she had her doubts and fears and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have some of his own. But for the first time in such a very long time he felt as if he belonged somewhere, as if he belonged with someone.
The sun was rising outside the apartment, and Spike could feel its pull. He tucked Buffy’s head at the crook of his neck, closed his eyes, and fell asleep with a smile on his face.
Spike woke as the sun drifted over the horizon, the need to feed pulling him from a deep slumber. He opened his eyes and found Buffy watching him, her gaze running over his features as if she were searching for something.
“What is it, pet?” Spike asked softly, his hand gentle against her cheek, the look on her face making him worried he could spook her.
“Do you still love me today, Spike?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Spike replied, pulling her into his arms. “I love you. I’ll love you forever. I can promise you that.”
Buffy’s arms tightened around him. “Can you?”
“Yes.”
“I’m still scared I’ll lose you. Everything’s different for you now, Spike. What if you decide you don’t love me? Or…or what if you decide you love her still?”
Spike brought her head away from his chest and clutched her face in his hands, looking intently at her. “I love you.”
She shook against him, and Spike didn’t know if he’d ever find a way to make words enough for her – and after the years she’d spent subject to her sire’s fickle whims, he couldn’t blame the poor girl.
So he rolled her over instead, pushed his way into her body, making her cry out. She tried to close her eyes, but Spike pulled out and thrust back in hard, and they snapped back open. “No. Don’t close your eyes. Look at me.”
His hips pumped a smooth, steady rhythm, his eyes blue and open as he watched her beneath him. “Tell me what you see, Buffy. Tell me.”
She clung to his biceps, holding his gaze as he’d asked, until finally she gasped and gave him his answer.
“Forever…”
He remembered fearing this once, but as he watched Buffy dancing around him, her body calling to him, he couldn’t remember why. The past ten years – no, his whole life – were like a dream now. Something pushing on the edge of his mind, but not reality.
She called to him like a siren, and he ran after her, grinning as her laughter echoed through the alleyway as she let him chase her. Warm blood flowed through his veins, giving life where there should be none.
Her feet fell through puddles from an earlier rain, light from a nearby streetlamp illuminating the droplets, surrounding her in something ethereal. Spike knew if she could see inside him now, if she could cut him open and see how his heart would never stop beating for her, she’d never doubt his promise of eternity again.
Buffy had almost escaped the alley when Spike grabbed her, pulling her back in with him, her back pressed tightly against his front. “Trying to escape, little girl?” he whispered against her ear, bringing shivers to Buffy’s flesh.
“I heard there was a big, bad vampire in this alley,” Buffy replied with mock-fear. “I thought I should escape.”
Spike’s chuckle was low, and the vibrations went through her like trembles. “Is that so?” He spun her around quickly, pinning her against the wall. “I think it’s too late. The vampire’s already got you.”
His eyes were gold, his fangs glinted in the low light, and Buffy didn’t think he’d ever looked more desirable. She wanted to stop being afraid, to believe she’d really gotten Spike forever – and a Spike she could truly share herself with completely with at that. She’d worried about how he’d react when it came time to feed, but he’d moved like a predator, never hesitating in what he had to do.
It amazed her how much it had turned her on…
She couldn’t lose this. In the years since Angelus had turned her, she’d never felt anything so perfect as being in Spike’s arms now. His mouth had gone to her neck, licking and sucking the mark he’d put there the night before, and she couldn’t help but gasp for air she didn’t need. Even with all his assurances that this was forever, she couldn’t let go of the nagging feeling that she was destined to lose him – that she could never be lucky enough to know happiness like this without end.
“I want to leave Los Angeles.”
Spike pressed a kiss against her neck. “Of course, luv. As soon as Angelus is dust, we’ll go wherever you want.”
Buffy stiffened in Spike’s arms a moment before she pushed him away. He stumbled a bit before regaining his balance, then tilted his head as he regarded her with confusion. “Buffy, what’s wrong?”
“You still want to kill Angelus?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because the last time you tried you died!” Buffy yelled at him. “Dammit, Spike, are you insane? We can’t take him on. Next time you might be dust!”
“But we came close!” Spike argued. “And I’m stronger now.”
Buffy lifted her head, stubbornness set into her features. “No. I’m not letting you do this.”
“There’s not really any way for you to stop me, Buffy,” Spike countered. “I have to do this.”
“For her.” The venom in her words left no doubt as to who she meant.
“No, not just for her,” Spike replied. “For you. For what he did to you.”
“If you want to do something for me, then don’t go after him at all! Please, Spike. Let’s just go somewhere far, far away. Someplace where it can be just the two of us. Where we can be in love and Angelus and Drusilla can’t touch us. Please…”
Spike shook his head. “There is no place like that. Don’t you get it, Buffy? As long as he’s out there, he’s going to haunt us. He’ll always be out there somewhere, and we’ll never know if he’ll find us again. I can’t live like that.”
“It wouldn’t be that way! Spike, Angelus doesn’t want me. He made that perfectly clear. He’d not going to come after us, ever.”
“Can you really be sure of that? Can you?” Spike lunged forward, his outstretched arms pinning Buffy against the brick wall of the alley. “Tell me you can really live completely without fear. Tell me he’s not going to haunt your dreams, too.”
Buffy turned her head to the side, tears glistening in her eyes. “Spike, please. I just want to forget him.”
“So do I. But we can’t as long as he’s still out there. We have to do this, Buffy.”
She turned back towards him suddenly and pushed him away again. “I don’t want to face him again!” she screamed.
“We’ll get him this time, Buffy. You don’t have to be afraid.”
“But I am. God, Spike, don’t you get it?”
“Look, Buffy, I know what he did to you, but…”
“This isn’t about me. I don’t care about me.”
“Buffy…”
“You were dead, Spike!”
She screamed the words at him with such emotion that Spike took a step back. “But I wasn’t, kitten. I was…”
“I didn’t know that,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “I saw you, lifeless on the ground, and I didn’t…” She shook, fighting her sobs. “I didn’t know. And until you woke, I still wasn’t sure. I thought I’d lost you, Spike, and I can’t do that. I need you.”
Spike grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, holding her as she cried. “You won’t lose me, Buffy. I promise you. You won’t lose me.”
“You can’t make that promise.”
Spike put his hand beneath her chin and tipped her face up. “Yes, I can. We’re forever, you and me. I can feel it, Buffy. Knew it the first time I touched you.”
“I don’t want him to take you from me. He’s taken everything from me, Spike – he can’t have you, too.”
“He won’t. There’s nothing that could tear me from your side. Nothing. I’d take on the legions of Hell to stay in your arms.”
“I’d waste away to dust without you.”
“I know, pet,” Spike said, wrapping her tightly in his embrace again. “I know.”
“You’re not going after him without me.”
Spike chuckled softly and kissed the crown of her head. “I know, sweetheart. Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“And I can’t promise you I won’t stake her if I see her.”
Spike tensed, but didn’t let go of her. “I know.”
The fell together to the sheets, bare limbs entwined, lips and tongues seeking a taste. The outside world fell away as the sun rose behind closed curtains, two lovers lost in only each other.
Tomorrow they would face the darkness again.
Tomorrow they would put their demons to rest.
Until then, they would take solace in each other and seal a promise of forever.