Teardrops On My Guitar by SpuffyGirl729

Buffy laid her head back onto her pillow as she held the phone to her ear. She looked over at her clock that read 1:03 a.m. Buffy closed her eyes and continued to listen. Another night of Spike telling Buffy about his wonderful date with Drusilla.

“God, Buffy it’s just, great. I’m so in love right now. I really think I did it right this time. Not like before with that stupid bint Cecily.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at that name. Cecily was the girl Spike had a crush on when he first came to America.

“God, haven’t heard that name in forever.” Buffy said as she picked at her nails.

Spike laughed. “Yeah I know.. shit. Hold on pet,”

Buffy heard the phone move then a muffle noise. She waited in silence a couple seconds until Spike finally came back on.

“Sorry luv, thought I heard my mum. Don’t feel like hearing her yell at me for being on the phone late on a school night.”

Buffy smiled. She couldn’t count the number of times she or Spike had gotten caught on the phone by their parents and got yelled at. It was like a tradition for them.

“So I want you to come to stop by the Espresso Pump Friday so you can finally meet Dru.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. It had been a month since Spike had met Dru and he had been desperately trying to get Buffy to meet her, but Buffy always had an excuse as to why she couldn’t. Her and Riley were dating regularly, hoping that it would help her get over the pain of not having Spike. But it didn’t. Buffy’s heart broke every time she saw him, and she still thought about him every night.

“Ugh, sorry I can’t. Riley’s taking me out that night.”

Spike’s jaw clenched. He didn’t understand why she was still going out with that wanker. He also didn’t understand why when he saw Riley kiss her, his whole body filled with rage and he wanted nothing more then to kick the shit out of him. Brotherly care he told himself. But that didn’t explain why he started to have dreams of Buffy at night at the sight of her made his jeans tight. But he refused to admit that to himself and told everyone he was just worried about her. Spike even made his feelings about him perfectly clear to Buffy, but it didn’t seem to faze her.

“Buffy why are you going out with him? You know I don’t like him.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Spike there is no reason for you to not like him. Please, he means a lot to me,”

*No he really doesn’t*

“And so do you,”

*You really do*

“So will you just please try and be nice?”

Spike let out a sigh. *Since when did he mean a lot to her?* Spike thought with rage. *I‘m the only one that she‘s allowed to car about like that*

Spike laid there in shock. He didn‘t know how to react to his own thoughts, so he did what he always did when he had confusing thoughts about Buffy, he brought up Drusilla.

“Sure pet, as long as you come meet Dru Friday after your date!”

Buffy bit her lip, how was she going to get out of this. Then Buffy heard Angel’s bedroom door opened and smiled. “Shit, Spike my mom’s up. Gotta go, bye!”

Before Spike could say anything Buffy hung up the phone. Ok, so it was Angel that was up and not her mom, but Buffy couldn’t think of an excuse as to why she couldn’t meet Drusilla. Buffy put the phone on the bedside table and stared at the framed pictures. There was one of her Xander and Willow joking around. Then another of her, Spike and Angel. She was standing in the middle of the two as they each had an arm around her. Buffy laid back down as tears came to her eyes.

*Great* she thought. *Another night of crying myself to sleep*

Buffy hugged Mr. Gordo to her chest as she quietly cried herself to sleep.

***

It was now Friday and Buffy walked down the hallway heading towards her AP English. She had avoided Spike as much as possible since their last phone call Sunday night. She ignored his phone calls at night, claiming the next day that she had been passed out tired, and had only met him on the bleachers on Wednesday during fifth period, using the excuse that she had a lot of studying to do. She could tell that Spike was hurt but she couldn’t seem to care. It was hurting her to much to here him talk about Dru.

Buffy took a deep breath before walking into her English class and taking her usual seat in the back next to Spike. When Spike saw her his face lit up.

“Hey kitten.”

*God, why does he continue to torture me with the cute nicknames* Buffy thought as she smiled to her friend.

“So pet, you coming by the bleachers next period?”

Buffy tried to hide her blush as he continued to call her names. Then a thought hit her that made her entire world stop. He was probably calling Drusilla those name’s as well. Buffy frowned and looked down at her notebook.

“Luv..?” Spike asked trying to get her attention. Buffy snapped out of her thoughts at put on an award winning smile. “Um, can’t sorry. I promised Willow I’d meet her next period”

Before Spike could question her, the teacher walked into and began class. Spike just nodded and turned in his seat to look forward. He knew Willow had a class next period, and there was no way in hell Willow ever skipped class. She loved school way to much.

*So why is she lying to me?* Spike thought to himself.

He looked over at Buffy who was writing something down in her notebook. Didn’t look like school work, he got a better look at what she was writing when she moved her arm and it made him feel like a complete ass. Her songs. He hadn’t asked her about her music since he had met Dru, and they haven’t had the guitar sessions in a while. Then it finally hit him, this Saturday was Buffy’s Open Mic Night, and he hasn’t helped her with anything. And to make matters worse, Drusilla had asked him to go out with her Saturday night and he said yes.

Spike quickly scribbled something down on piece of paper, folded it and looked up to see the teacher wasn’t paying attention. When the teacher turned her back to the class Spike quickly laid the note onto Buffy’s desk. Buffy looked down at the note then back up at Spike. She picked the note up, hiding it from the view of the teacher and read it.

'Are you mad at me?'

Buffy let out a deep sigh. *No,* she thought. *Not mad. Just so much in love with you I can’t think straight.* Buffy wrote down her response and handed it back to him when the teacher wasn’t looking. Spike unfolded the paper and read it.

'You know, you’re a paranoid freak. Always thinking
I’m mad at you. You need help! There is no reason
for me to be mad at you!'

Spike smiled at how she made fun of him. Buffy was the only person on the face of the earth that could make fun of him and he would either laugh, or agree. Anyone else would get an ass beating. Buffy looked over at Spike and saw he was writing her back, but was writing a lot.

Spike felt eyes on him and looked up to see Buffy looking at him with a questioning look.

“Writing a book?” she whispered with a smile. Spike chuckled.

“Ms. Summers, Mr. Bradley. Do I have to separate you two?”

Both Buffy and Spike put their heads down and mumbled, “No ma’am.”

The teacher went back to her lesson and turned around just in time to miss Spike hand Buffy the note back. Buffy sunk down in her chair, using the kid in front of her as a shield while she read the note.

'I’m sorry I haven’t been coming play the guitar with you
ive just been real busy and im a complete wanker for not helping you im sorry. so are you nervous about tomorrow? Did you pick a song?'

Buffy smiled down at the note. He hadn’t said anything about her performing at the Bronze since she had asked him to help her practice. But he never did, always had a date with Drusilla, completely forgetting about her. But she didn’t say anything, to afraid to, but more importantly, to heartbroken to. It was like she was completely written out of the picture now that Dru was around. Buffy wrote back and handed it to him quickly.

'You have no idea!! I’m like panic mode
yeah, this song i wrote a while back called DEAR DIARY'

Spike looked down at the note confused. He never heard of that song before, and he knew all of Buffy’s songs. He wanted to tell her that he couldn’t make it but not in a note. So he decided to wait until after class. Buffy took the note back from him and read it.

'I never heard of that one, can I read it?'

Buffy looked past the note and into her notebook. The song was really about him and normally she would die before she even told him it existed. But ever since his dating Drusilla, and her dating Riley, anything she had written about him she could easily say was written about Riley, and he would never know the difference. Or even the fact that she was planning on breaking up with Riley next period, one of the reasons why she couldn’t meet him next period. But she wouldn’t tell him that. Buffy looked over her notebook for a few seconds then closed it. She handed it over to Spike, not having to hide it because if the teacher saw that move, she would just think Buffy was letting Spike copy some notes.

Spike smiled as he grabbed the notebook and immediately started to read from it. Spike flipped through the pages of songs he had already read, looking for the new ones. He stopped when he found the song she was talking about and read it over.

***

Dear Diary, Today I saw a boy and I wondered if he noticed me, he took my breath away.
Dear Diary, I can't get him off my mind and it scares me 'cause I've never felt this way.
No one in this world knows me better than you do, so diary I'll confide in you.

Dear Diary, Today I saw that boy as he walked by I thought he smiled at me,
And I wondered does he know what's in my heart?
I tried to smile, but I could hardly breathe.
Should I tell him how I feel or would that scare him away?
Diary, tell me what to do, please tell me what to say.

Dear Diary, One touch of his hand, now I can't wait to see that boy again.
He smiled, and I thought my heart could fly.
Diary, do you think that we'll be more than friends?

***

Spike was in complete awe. She had gotten even better then he remembered. But when he felt happy at how good she was, his stomach did flips and his jaw clenched. Who had she written this song about? Was it about Riley? She really felt that way about him? Spike squeezed his fist thinking of Buffy falling in love with that guy.

He closed his eyes to try and calm himself down. He suddenly pictured sitting in his lap smiling down at him, then leaning down and kissing him softly on his lips. Spike’s eyes snapped open. That fantasy happened during the day, when he was awake, and he couldn’t deny it. Spike didn’t look at her for the rest of the class.

***

Buffy tapped her pencil nervously against her desk. There were only three minutes left in the class and Spike still had her notebook. She had tried to get his attention but he was completely ignoring her. Maybe he didn’t like them. That would kill her. His opinion mattered so much.

The class bell finally rang, causing Buffy to jump a little. She stood up as she gathered her things and turned towards Spike. He was still gathering his stuff when she walked towards him.

“So...?” Buffy asked nervously.

Spike looked up at Buffy trying to push the thought of her kissing him aside. “Um,” Spike saw the nerouvness in her eyes and pushed all his bad feelings aside. “It’s great pet.”

Buffy let out a little sigh. “Good, it’ll probably sound better tomorrow. So I was wondering if you could drive tomorrow, you know, help me calm my nerves.” Buffy said as they walked out of the classroom.

Spike rubbed the back of his head. She was going to be so upset with him and he was going to hate it. “Actually pet, I...”

“Buffy hey!”

Both Spike and Buffy turned around to see Riley walking up to them. Spike had to use every once of control he had to hold himself back when he saw Riley walk up, put his big pawls around Buffy’s waist and kiss her.

“Mm,” Buffy said against Riley’s lips and lightly pushed him away. “Hey Riley.” Riley turned to Spike and smiled. “What’s up.”

Spike sent him a dirty look and mentally ripped his head off when he saw Riley hold Buffy by her waist. Buffy stood there uncomfortable. “Um.. so ugh.. is that cool Spike?”

Spike clenched his jaw as he turned his attention back to Buffy. Suddenly, he didn’t care if she got upset about him going or not. If she wanted to sit there and sing about her ponce of a boyfriend, then he wasn’t going to deal with it.

“I can’t make it tomorrow. Drusilla and I have a date. Cya” Spike said coldly then walked down the hallway.

Buffy watched Spike go with tears in her eyes. How could he be so cold to her.

“What’s tomorrow?” Riley asked bringing Buffy out of her thoughts.

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