Chapter 10
Luckily for them, the brick building they had been heading toward was, like Spike had mentioned to Buffy, not inhabited. Equally lucky for them was that it appeared to have been last used as a school of some sorts, because there was a huge, fairly well stocked kitchen pantry, although there wasn’t any fresh foods. Most importantly there was also an infirmary.
Buffy easily hefted Spike onto one of the cots lining the infirmary area, wincing when she caught sight of the damage to his hands.
“Shall we see what kind of supplies we have?” Giles moved away from the prone vampire, pushing Dawn away from Spike’s side. “Perhaps we should look into finding a butcher’s shop?”
Though he was addressing the room at large, Giles was eyeing the two wiccans.
“Yeah, finding blood for Spike is our biggest priority.” Buffy voiced her reluctant admission, continuing, “We’re not leaving him behind and we aren’t going anywhere without him. So he needs to get better.”
Anya, who had been searching through the closets, shouted her surprise, “Hey! Look what I found!” Stored in what looked like an antique refrigerator were three shelves of glass bottles, filled with reddish liquid.
Dawn, peering over her shoulder, remarked, “I’m gonna guess that’s not Kool-Aid.”
Giles removed his glasses. “No, I dare say it’s not.”
“Do you think it’ll be safe enough to give him?” Dawn turned to face the older Englishman. “This is like too easy, you know. Maybe it’s a set up.”
“We have no way of knowing that, Dawn.” Giles lifted one of the bottles, opened the top and sniffed the contents. “It appears to be blood. Whether it’s human or not, we have no way of knowing.”
Willow turned away from where she was, drifting closer to the others. “We could test it.”
“And how do you propose that, Willow? We’ve no instruments, nor do there appear to be any hereabout.” Giles raised a brow, staring at the redhead.
“Well, we could do this.” Taking another bottle from the refrigerator, Willow placed it on a nearby table. “Retego.”
The others stared at the bottle, waiting for something. Giles sighed deeply. “Really, Willow, did you expect the contents to spell out what . . .”
Willow smiled, with a smug grin, as a small human figure appeared on the glass.
Giles hemmed and hawed, then finally ground out, “Yes, well, it rarely manifests that clearly.”
“That’s really neat, Willow, but does that mean it’s safe to give it Spike?” Dawn crossed her arms over her chest, a skeptical look entering her eyes.
“Even if it’s no good, Bit, it’ll still make me better than I am now.” Spike was barely able to lift his head up, so instead he angled himself so he could see Dawn clearly. “Worth a shot.”
This wasn’t much better. In fact, Xander thought as he looked around his new prison, this was pretty much defined not good. He was tied, by his ankles and wrists, to a bench that was X-shaped. One thing he was thankful for, and oh, how he didn’t want to think of the alternative, was that Sweet’s minions had left him fully clothed. Because the other? Just isn’t something I want to think about. Not now. Not ever.
Sweet’s minions weren’t leaving him alone. Xander tested the ties holding him and only succeeded in rubbing his wrists raw. There wasn’t much point in flexing his ankles, because if he couldn’t get his hands free, it hardly mattered if his feet were. Giving up for the moment, Xander contemplated the ceiling.
“Hey guys?” Xander figured if squirming and trying to get loose didn’t work, maybe he could beg. I’m not above begging to get free. . . Nope, not this guy.
It took a couple of attempts, but he finally annoyed one of the minions enough to get his attention. “Hey, could you just, you know, set me free?”
The minion just stared at him, the big freaking puppet eyes unblinking. Xander tried to swallow the fear building in his throat. He tried one more time. “Set me free?”
When a mysterious beat rumbled through the walls and the floor, Xander closed his eyes. Really don’t want to sing about this. Really. Unfortunately, once the music started, Xander realized he had no choice. “Just liberate me. Set me running, far away from the big cheese. My body is yearning for a release from this life. Not this kind of spice.”
Another minion leaned over him, listening to the song. “Set me free! Just liberate me!”
“Give me a reason to scream and shout! Give me something to get me out! This really doesn’t look well. . . I’m sure it isn’t impossible. . . to set me free! Just liberate me!”
By now, Xander was struggling so hard to get free that he could feel the blood loosening the ties. And there were three minions staring at him, watching him intently. Xander could feel the frustration building inside him and he snarled the last bits. “Don’t think I’m impatient, ‘cause I’m not willing to wait. . . but something must happen, before it gets too late.”
His left wrist broke free and Xander punched the closest minion. “It could be my imagination, but it seems there’s about to be a liberation!”
Scrabbling now, Xander managed to free his right hand. “HA! Set me free! Just liberate me!”
His freedom was very short-lived, as four more minions tackled him back to the bench. “Set me free!”
“Set me free!”
A warm, soft breath blew across his cheek and Spike shivered in response. When the breathing didn’t stop, his body relaxed into its surroundings, rousing the vampire from sleep. His eyes focused briefly on the ceiling above him, tensing again when he didn’t recognize it immediately. Not in the crypt - so where the hell am I?
Awareness of his injuries flared as he tried moving, and Spike struggled to get up, however, warm hands joined the breath. Buffy’s voice sounded in his ear, urging him to lie still. “Relax, Spike. You’re pretty messed up. But you’re safe.”
“Niblet?” His voice rasped out his most pressing concern.
Buffy shook her head, a wry smile painting her features. “She’s fine. Sleeping in the other room. Everyone’s fine.” She eased up her hold as soon as he stopped fidgeting, and she quipped, “Except you. You were almost a very crispy critter.”
A rattling sigh broke from his lips and Spike finally relaxed. “Can let me go, sweetheart. Promise I won’t get up.”
She eased away from him, sitting back down on the edge of the cot he was laying on. “So.” Her normal reluctance to deal with him was gone, although Spike didn’t really register it. “How’re ya feeling?”
Spike tested his strength and limbs, finding them somewhat lacking. “Could use a bite. . . er, somethin’ to eat.”
“Okay. We found some blood. It seems to working, and we think it’s not bad.” Buffy hopped up, heading over to the refrigerated cases lining the wall.
“Where are we?” Spike raised his head and took a better look around.
Instead of answering him right away, Buffy grabbed two old fashioned glass bottles and brought them to the prone vampire. “We think this might have been a school or something. This is the infirmary, or that’s what Giles says it is.” She shrugged. “Sorry it’s cold.”
“No worries.” Spike gingerly sat up, wincing as he pulled on a patch of healing skin. His left hand was burned worse than his right, though both were sporting ugly, weeping sores and raw skin. “How’s m’face?”
Buffy looked at him steadily. “Better than it was. Your hands are the worst.”
He quickly downed the pair of bottles, licking his lips with satisfaction. “Pet? This is human.”
“I know. It was here, and this place looks all empty and abandoned.” She wrinkled her nose. “Once Dawn realized what it was. . . she wouldn’t stop nagging until we gave it to you. Don’t you remember?” Buffy looked away. “And I figured since you’re helping. . .”
Her voice trailed off as she kept her face averted from him, only letting him see a bit of her profile. Spike didn’t speak for long moments, until he could corral his errant tongue, which was about to spout platitudes and run away with his heart. “‘Preciate it, Slayer.”
Silence reigned between them for a long time, and Spike barely realized it when he slipped back into sleep.
Xander woke slowly, his brain sluggish and his body not coordinated. He tried to raise his head and blinding pain shot through him. Augh, not smart, Xan-man. I’m just gonna. . . gonna keep my eyes closed a bit longer.
With a grateful sigh, he slipped back into oblivion.
Hours later, Xander opened his eyes when the sound of soft humming reached his ears. “Damn. Was really hoping this was all a crazy nightmare.”
The humming stopped and Cyd’s concerned face peered down at him. “Oh, good, sugar buns. You’re finally awake.”
Rubbing a hand over his face, Xander grimaced. “Yeah. I’m still here. Great. Wonderful.”
Cyd helped him to a sitting position. “You are.”
When Xander didn’t respond, Cyd griped a bit. “You know, a little gratitude wouldn’t be remiss.” Cyd flounced away. “After all, I managed to convince Sweet that he’d gather more flies with honey.”
“What?” He watched the demon warily through the mirror’s reflection. “I’m not a fly.”
A deep sigh wafted from Cyd and the demon turned to look at him.
“I know that. You know that. But Sweet was going to. . .” The demon paused, letting the possibilities flit through Xander’s head. “He doesn’t like it when things don’t go his way. Hardly anyone ever says no.”
Xander’s normally swarthy features blanched, but before he could say something, Cyd continued. “I’ve bought you some time. Rumor has it a certain element arrived in town night before last.”
Hope surged in Xander’s chest –it just had to be Buffy. So someone was finally, hopefully, coming to his rescue. A slight smiled crossed his features, though with Cyd’s next words it faltered a little.
“But you’re still here, and you’re still bound to Sweet because you used the amulet.” A smile – the kind that didn’t bode well for him crossed Cyd’s features. “Don’t worry, ‘coz I’ll make a man outta you.”
Cyd slipped its arm through Xander’s and led him to the mirror. Music swelled in the air. “Let’s get down to business – to show off those buns.”
Xander groaned, recognizing both the music and the lyrics, though they were just a bit altered this time. “Not this again. Last time you had me in pink sequins and purple ruffles. Can we skip that part? Please?”
The demon circled around him, eyeing him with a professionalism that Xander hadn’t seen before. “It make take us a while, but you’ll be happy when we’re done.”
A cheeky grin crossed Cyd’s features. “You’re the bestest so far I’ve met. And you can bet before we’re through, honey, I’ll make a man out of you!”
Somehow Cyd managed to produce several sets of clothing, suits, ties, formal wear and not so formal wear, holding them in front of Xander as he stood at the mirror. “Tranquil as forest, but on fire within. Once you find your center, you’ll be finer than any sin!” Taking a look at Xander’s disheleved hair and scared expression, Cyd led him into the bathroom. “You’re a fine mess, a work in progress, and you haven’t got a clue. Somehow I’ll make a man out of you.”
Forcing Xander to sit on a stool, Cyd grabbed a pair of scissors.
Xander pushed the demon away, singing, “I’m never gonna let you finish! Stay away with those shears! Just cause I fooled with a spell and gem. . . Hey! Watch out for my ears!”
Cyd managed to cut the scraggly ends of Xander’s hair, then held up a lime green shirt. “That color is not right for me! I know this is a dream. . . I’m completely in REM.”
Dragging him further into the bathroom, Cyd pushed Xander into the waiting bath. Dunking his head under the water, Cyd kept singing. “To be a man, you must be sleek as a swimming otter.”
Suddenly, the bathroom was filled with other demons, several of them singing back up. “To be a man!”
“With all the grace of a dancing loon.” Cyd crooned as he washed behind Xander’s ears and scrubbed his back.
“To be a man!” The demons began dancing around with towels, while Cyd kept singing over them. They lifted Xander from the bathtub, drying him off as they whisked him in the dressing room.
Cyd grabbed a pink shirt and black tie, as another demon forced him into boxers. “You really can’t be much hotter. Just let me spray on some perfume! Just take a real deep breath and you’ll survive.”
Fixing the suit jacket on his shoulders, Cyd adjusted the fit and looked at Xander steadily in the eyes. “Follow my lead and I’ll make sure you stay alive. You’ll manage, just look at your eyes. So back up, get it straight, you’re here for good!”
Surveying his work with a satisfied grin, Cyd sang, “How could I not make a man out of you!”
Xander stared at his own reflection, unable to squawk or splutter. He looked amazing, grown up and sophisticated. Even the pale pink shirt looked good against the black suit. Too bad he was heading to his own doom. . .
The second time he woke up, Spike could feel the changes in his body, the rapid healing brought on by sufficient infusions of human blood. His mind was clearer and he immediately sensed the Slayer sleeping beside him, her arm slung across his chest, her breath wafting across his face. Buffy stirred beside him, murmuring, “Go back to sleep, Spike,” in a soft, sleepy voice.
He stilled, reveling in the warm saturating his skin and rumbled something like acquiescence deep in his chest. Until Buffy’s voice took on a different quality, and then every hair on his body stood up at attention.
“This babe can’t stand to see you black and blue. I’ll give you something sweet each time you come inside my jungle book.” Her body slid against his and her voice took on a breathy timbre. “It’s just too good. . . don’t say you’ll stay, cause then you’ll go away.”
He rolled to look at her, and she smiled, looking up at him from beneath her lashes. “Damn, I wish I was your lover – I’ll rock you ‘til the daylight comes, make sure that you are smiling and warm.”
The words of the song shocked him, but it was her expression that had him spellbound and speechless. She’s not disgusted. . . she’s. . . He shook his head, refocusing his attention on her. “I am everything, tonight I’ll be your mother. I’ll do such things to ease your pain, free your mind and you won’t feel ashamed.”
Buffy shimmied against him, her muscles coiling and releasing. “Shucks, for me there is no other. You’re the only shoe that fits. I can’t imagine I’ll grow out of it. Damn! I wish I was your lover.”
She got up from the cot, leaning over him. “If I was your girl, believe me, I’d turn on those damned Ramones. We could groove along and feel much better.” She danced around a bit, her bright eyes burning into him. “Let me in. I could do it forever, and ever, ‘n ever. . .”
“Give me an hour to kiss you. . . walk through heaven’s door, I’m sure. We don’t need no doctor to feel better. Let me in. . . forever and ever and ever and ever. . .” She continued dancing for him, while the music rose to a crescendo around them. His eyes didn’t leave her form, not for one second and his brain couldn’t actually believe what he was seeing. Spike knew he was hallucinating. . . because Buffy wouldn’t act like this around him. Ever.
The music softened, and Buffy leaned in closer, her mouth practically on his ear. “I sat on the mountainside with peace of mind. I lay by the ocean making love to you with visions clear, I walked for days with no one near. . . and I return as chained and bound to you!”
She danced away again, singing desperately now. “Damn! I wish I was your lover. I’ll rock you til the daylight comes, make sure you are smiling and warm. I’ll have everything. Tonight I’ll be your mother, I’ll do such things to ease your pain. Free your mind and you won’t feel ashamed. Shucks! For me there is no other. You’re the only shoe that fits. I can’t imagine I’ll grow out if it. Damn! I wish I was your lover.”
The music finally trailed off, leaving Spike mouth agape and eyes wide, staring at a completely embarrassed Buffy. She started to speak, then choked back her words, afraid to open her mouth for fear another song would emerge.
The pair stared at each other, neither one able to comprehend what had just happened. Spike couldn’t stifle the hope that flared in his heart, especially since Buffy hadn’t yet started her denials or run off. Instead she sat beside him, her hand covering her mouth and fear reflected in her eyes.
“I – I can’t believe I just. . .” She floundered to find the words, but nothing would come. Her brain was too busy focusing on the idea that she’d just been hitting on Spike.
“Buffy.” She could count on one hand the number of times he’d said her name – at least until lately.
“Don’t, Spike. Can we please not talk about this?” Buffy looked away, biting her lower lip.
He could feel the anxiety, the fear that he would taunt her, that he would embarrass her and it broke something in him. He knew intimately what it was like to be humiliated for what he felt. And as much as part of him wanted to hash this out, a larger part didn’t want to hurt her or lose the ground he’d just gained.
“Alright, pet.” He let her off the hook. “We’ll suss it out later.”
The gratitude in her eyes was enough to sustain him for hours.
Liner Notes:
Set me free (just release me): Original song (Set me free (remotivate me)) and lyrics by Martin Gore of Depeche Mode, recorded in 1984. Released originally as the B-side to Master and Servant which was released on the album Some Great Reward, 1984. I’ve completely reworked most of the lyrics, and my heart-felt apologies for destroying the song.
I’ll Make a Man out of You: from the Disney musical Mulan, released in 1998. Composed by Matthew Wilder and lyrics by David Zippel. The voice of Li Shang was sung by Donny Osmond (yes, believe it or not), with additional choral voices provided by Harvey Fierstein, Jerry Tondo, Matthew Wilder, Lea Salonga, and Eddie Murphy.
Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover: Music and lyrics by Sophie B. Hawkins, released in March of 1992, from the album Tongues and Tails. The original video was banned from MTV because it was considered too erotic for regular air play, yet despite that, the song reached #5 on the Billboard charts.