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**Regular text = quotes, Italic text = a person’s thoughts
Chapter 1: The Proposition




How to get Willow to agree to my plan? was a thought that plagued the Slayer for some time. She knew of course that threatening the red head would work, but Buffy didn’t want to put any more strain on their relationship. They hadn’t really been as close as they were in high school since…well Glory, and then Buffy died…and well, things kept happening and they never had a chance to fix their friendship. And while Buffy didn’t really feel the overwhelming need to reconnect with someone who listened to her psychotic-wannabe-slayer-girlfriend-with-a-tongue-stud and kicked her out of her own house, Buffy also didn’t want to create any waves…or more importantly…alert Giles.

However, how to convince Willow that she needed to do this. That Spike needed her to do this. Willow never really forgot or forgave the whole “bottle in my face” fiasco and well…the bleached vampire was known to be more than a little cranky with her ever since she did that spell on Buffy. Maybe Buffy could call on what they once had…especially since Kennedy recently got the boot and there would be no more of that influence on the red witch…

“Hey Buffy!” Willow said as she entered the kitchen. My goddess she looks pale. I wish I knew what was bothering her. She should feel so relaxed now that there are so many slayers and that she doesn’t have to bear the burden of slayage alone.

Buffy and Willow had moved to England with Giles after the hellmouth had been closed, Buffy to train the slayers and Willow to continue to learn from the coven. Xander had decided to stay in California, though he’d moved up to San Francisco, so that he could continue his construction business. Also, with the advent of Anya’s death, Xander wasn’t really interested in the slaying gig any longer.

To Buffy, it seemed that with the more days that passed, the less Xander called or interacted with the other Scoobies. Perhaps it was just as well, since she didn’t want more people than necessary to notice her absence that is of course if she could get Willow to agree to one, teeny tiny spell.

“So, Willow, read any good spells lately?” God! Obvious much? Buffy said as she tried to think of a way to broach the topic of fixing things with Spike.

“Uh, I guess Buffy.” Oh goddess, what is she thinking? No spells. Willow and spells equals kablooey. I’m still training with the coven. They’ve decided that the spell I cast to release the essence of the scythe was a lucky break on my part. She’s not going to ask me to do a spell is she? And besides what kind of spell does she need – she has everything she could want now. A normal life.

“Well Willow…I…God, hah, that question came out blunt didn’t it? I guess that’s better than a ramble isn’t it hehe.” God, just cut to the chase already. You’ve already made her too jump-to-conclusion-y. “See, the thing is Willow that…um…I miss Spike…and I was thinking that…”

“No!” How could she ask me to do that?

“No? You don’t even know what I’m going to ask you yet.” This doesn’t look good. And hey, when have I ever asked her to cast a spell – a personal spell?

“And I don’t need to missy. I know exactly what you’re going to ask me and the answer is completely and totally and all other ways to say: NO.”

“But…” the increasingly distraught Slayer started.

“No! See…resolve face.”

“But Willow, if you just listen.” God, maybe I’m going to have to revert to force. Where are the tadpoles when you need some?

“No, Buffy, I am not going to undo the spell that made all of the potentials into slayers. You finally have the chance to rest, oh goddess, for all of us to rest.” The red head answered in mounting confusion. Why would Buffy want that? I know she’s been kinda grumpy lately, but reverse the spell?

Buffy sat back in stunned silence at where her supposed best friend’s mind had just gone. She thinks I want to be the one and only slayer again? While the thought is sort of appealing, just because I did like being TheSlayer doesn’t mean I want to go back to being the only one able to stop an apocalypse. The clothing cost alone…

“Willow, that’s not what I was going to ask you.” Nowhere near…although now I wonder what you’re going to think of my actual request. “I was going to say that I want to fix things with Spike. I want to…”

“NO! There is no way in the world that I’m doing another resurrection spell Buffy. Look at what happened to you! I tore you out of Heaven and it nearly destroyed you. There is no way that I’m doing that to…not that Spike would be in heaven, so would I be saving him from hell?” Willow questioned as she scrunched her nose in thought. “Never mind that. There is no way that I’m doing another resurrection spell. Been there, done that, have the T-Shirt. Besides we used that last Urn of Osiris on you and the gods are not so much with the favor-y requests from me anymore. Not since Tara,” she added quietly. If I couldn’t bring her back, how could I bring Spike back?

“Willow,” Buffy said slowly. Where did all of that come from? Like I would ask anyone to go through the same experience that I did. Plus, I still really don’t think that Willow should be allowed anywhere near that kind of magic. She’s still on my list of ‘people Buffy thought were friends but then decided to go all evil.’ “I wasn’t going to ask you to resurrect Spike.”

“Oh…well of course. I didn’t mean to assume that you…cuz badness, and black lines on me and snakes and…I’m babbling.

“Willow, I actually had something else in mind. Something that I know you might object to, but I really need you to listen to me and understand why I need this. I’ve never ever asked you for a personal favor, magically speaking. And I promise that this will be the last thing that I ever ask of you.” Well, if that didn’t convince her to at least hear me out, nothing will.

Willow just stared at the pleading Slayer, thinking for the first time since the hellmouth’s close that perhaps her tears of unhappiness and lack of slaying participation wasn’t because she was taking a much needed rest. Maybe all her troubles resided in the death of one snarky, yet apparently much missed bleached-blonde vampire. Who knew that he came to mean so much? Did I miss the memo? When did we move on from the ‘bottle in my face’ feelings? “Wait, Buffy, what exactly kind of spell are you thinking of?”

Crap! How to break this to her so that she agrees? Buffy thought. Well, I guess it would be better to just be straight with her. “Willow, I don’t…God I thought this would be easier. Think Buffy think. “Willow you loved Tara right?” That was kind of a low blow…but I need this.

“Buffy you know I did, in a ‘wanted to end the world sort of way.’” How could she ask me that?

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out the wrong way. I just wanted you to understand…for someone to finally, or at least know…that I loved, no, LOVE Spike just as much as you loved Tara, Xander loved Anya. I love Spike and he never knew it.”

“Buffy…”

“No. You don’t understand. He NEVER knew that I EVEN CARED for him because I was too busy living up to everyone else’s expectations. Everyone was so fixated on me having a normal life that I started believing that was what I wanted too. I, as well as the rest of you, became so jaded by our experiences with Angel that we never gave Spike a chance. Never let ourselves see how he had changed over the years. And he DID change.” Ha! What can you say to that.

“Buffy,” Willow started out slowly, unsure how to approach the obviously distraught blonde,

“How can you possibly say that we were too jaded because of our experiences with Angel? You were involved with a vampire and said vampire killed people that we knew and almost killed you. How else were we to react to a vampire-boyfriend type situation? And Spike? Come on, he was all with the ‘going to kill you Saturday night.’”

“Willow that was years ago. You of all people have seen different sides of him, his emotions. He cried on your shoulder when Drusilla left him, tried to comfort you after Oz left, and said that you were totally bitable…okay…maybe not the ‘totally’ part, but how can you say that he was just another vampire? He was never, ever like Angel or Angelus. He was always so much better. And I was too stupid to realize it. So now that man, and yes I mean man, that I love, died not knowing how much I loved him because of you and the rest of my so-called friends.”

“Wow” was pretty much all that Willow could managed to squeek out. She had no idea that the Slayer’s feelings ran this deep or that all of her recent sadness was so unequivocally tied to Spike’s death. Perhaps she should have known though. Perhaps she should have been a better best-friend and realized what Buffy was going through. Her instant thought was to start baking cookies, but then the witch thought better of it and decided that for once, just once, she would really listen to what the Slayer wanted her to hear. Since obviously she hadn’t been listening well enough for a long time. When did it all go wrong? When did we stop being friends and became…what? co-workers? associates? Bronze-buddies? Maybe if I do this spell it will help fix it? “Okay Buffy…what’s the spell?”

Buffy could barely believe that Willow gave in that easily. She would have thought that it would have taken a lot more convincing or something else to change Willow’s mind. I wonder what this means?

“Willow…is it really that simple? I ask; you do? Or it there something more?” Please don’t let there be anything more!

“No Buffy there’s no more. I just want you to be happy, and if you believe that what you have thought up will fix all the sad puppy-dog faces I’ve seen you with these past few months then I’ll be more than happy to help.” Hopefully this way she’ll see that I’m trying to fix things between us too. I want us to be how we were in high school.

“Willow, I want…,” Here goes nothing. “I don’t want you to resurrect Spike. Even though I have no idea where he ended up, though I liked to think that his actions over the last few years saved him a seat in heaven, I don’t think that’s really possible. Nevertheless, I don’t want him brought back from…wherever…that would be messing too much with natural forces that I don’t want to deal with. The First was the result of my resurrection and who knows what would happen with Spike. So that’s what I’m asking for.”

“What are you asking for Buffy. Exactly. No avoid-o-girl syndrome allowed.” She wants to fix things with Spike but she doesn’t want him resurrected?

Taking a large breath, the champion who faced hell gods and cyborgs alike, said quickly to her high school friend, fearing she would be turned down:

“I want you to send me back in time…to William.”


Chapter End Notes:
I know, I know…William? But what better place to start making things right than at the beginning? Were you guys expecting William? Buffy’s reasoning to come next chapter! Thanks for reading. - Inara



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