From Night to Day
By Mercy
NC-17
A/N :WARNING FLUFF ALERT
My thanks to the hard work that all my betas, Kar, Meli and slackerace, put into beta reading my fic for me. They do it for free and I cannot express my thanks enough. I may write the story, but make it neat and correct for you to read, but we all share one thing, a shared passion for what we read and write.
Please enjoy…
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Chapter 20
Night
Spike pulled the chair out from the table as Buffy waited at his side. He made a sweeping gesture with his hand, motioning for her to sit down. The room had a soft glow about it that came from tea light candles that sat in the middle of the table and were within a small glass cylinder. The refracting light created a subtle illumination, casting a soft shadow against the couple that now sat around the table’s edge. Trust Spike to choose one of the most elegant restaurants in town and Buffy did not doubt that it was one of the most expensive as well.
Watching him sit, Buffy couldn’t help but observe the firm trim figure of Spike’s posture as he removed his tan short leather jacket and place it on the back of the chair. The room around them was opulent and held few patrons; tables were spaced at measured lengths from each other to give some semblance of privacy between diners’ conversations. A waiter silently offered them each a menu and slipped a cloth napkin over Buffy’s lap, returning to Spike and presenting him with a wine list. Turning away from them, the waiter retreated with a smile on his face uttering that ‘he would return shortly for their order’.
“Pretty swish eh,” Spike glanced from his menu to Buffy’s eyes and around the room. “Does it meet your approval?”
“It’s umm… it’s more than I expected.” Buffy glanced at the menu again, grimacing slightly as she realised that there were no prices listed. “We could have gone somewhere more…umm.”
“What? Private?” Spike ran his hand over the table open and palm up. “We could go home if that’s what you want.” His usual cocky grin and suggestive raised eyebrow covered his face; Buffy couldn’t help but feel the heat flood into her cheeks.
“Spike,” Buffy was sure that her face was going beetroot red and placed her hand over his, squeezing it hard. “No. I mean less, you know… less expensive.”
“Buffy, believe me I can more than afford this place.” Spike used the grasp on her hand to pull her forward. “Besides nothing but the best for my girl. When are we ever going to get another chance to come here without my precious throw-her-food-everywhere daughter?”
“I would have been happy to have gone anywhere for dinner with or without Imogen.” Buffy’s gaze became intense and fiery. “It wouldn’t have mattered as long as we had time together. This is so way too much.”
“Do you want to go?”
“No way. When would a girl in her right mind say no to get gussied up and then not be taken out on the town?” Buffy’s smile spread across her face and she laughed softly. “I also get the pleasure of knowing that this is going to cost you dearly.”
“You seem to have missed the fact that this place is quiet, and that the food is fantastic, it’s romantic as hell, and that the most important thing is here already…”
“And that would be?”
“Me.”
“So sure of yourself, mister?” Buffy looked away and down at the menu. “Okay, if that’s the way you want it—I want shrimp for my appetizer, lobster as my entrée, and whatever’s the most expensive for dessert.”
“Me.”
“What?” Buffy laughed softly, “You’re what?”
“The most expensive thing on the menu for dessert,” he lifted her hand bringing it to his lips for a light kiss and a covert light bite of the flesh between his teeth. “Though you taste just as delicious as any meal.”
“Spike!” Buffy yelped as she pulled her hand away from his as he tried to lift it back towards his mouth. “I want to eat not to be eaten by you, thank you.” Buffy went even brighter red as she’d said those words without realising it.
“You don’t want me to what sweetheart? Don’t want me to taste your tight wet…” Spike’s grin spread from ear to ear.
“Spike, please not here.” Buffy whispered as she felt flushed with a sudden rush of desire bolt through her body at just the thought of his suggestion.
“You might have to eat those words my love….” Interrupted by the return of the waiter with pad in hand to take their order making Spike stop as his inferences made her blush harder.
Buffy was true to her word and ordered the expensive appetizer and main entrée, but declined dessert. Spike ordered his own meal and refused dessert saying that they were ‘saving that for home’. Buffy’s mouth dropped to the floor and she had to restrain herself from either pulling the tablecloth over her head to disappear or hit Spike on the nose for being so blatantly forward.
Spike watched as Buffy fiddled with the cutlery that sat on the table in front of her, the soft clinging of metal against metal was the only sound that passed between them. He watched as Buffy’s face tightened a little and as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Spike assumed it was in anticipation of what the ‘talk’ that they’d come here for was about. Even though it was blatantly obvious what they’d come here for to the two of them.
Spike still found it refreshing that in his sensual teasing, Buffy still got a little colour in her face when the heat between them was heated up in public. It pleased him that she reacted to him even if it was embarrassment and that Buffy was trapped in a whirlwind of images. Wickedly delicious things he fully intend on doing to her when they got home, but they had important things to do and talk about.
It was a pleasant change from Ellie….
…Oh my god…
Spike’s teasing smile fell from his lips as they became pursed, and his eyes closed. He hadn’t thought of his dead wife for so long and more shockingly he’d never once compared Buffy to her, not once. Spike knew that they were so unalike there was no comparison between them. Buffy was more…he stopped the thought there as he mentally kick himself; Spike couldn’t start to contrast either woman against each other. It was wrong and somehow tainted the memory of his past with the future that he had with Buffy.
Ellie would always be a part of his life because of Imogen, and it saddened Spike for just a moment that she would never be around to see their little girl grow up. Yet on the other hand, Spike would never have had Buffy in his life and he couldn’t deny that it would have been a horrendous injustice to never have experienced her. Though Spike knew that he probably would never have known the difference if Ellie had survived the car crash. Spike would have been happy anyway. He felt light pressure tighten around his hand and opened his eyes to look again at the woman that sat in front of him.
“What’s wrong?” Buffy whispered, her voice laced with concern.
“Nothing,” Spike weakly smiled. “Just thinking.”
“About what?” Buffy looked even more concerned as it was obvious whatever he was thinking about had greatly affected him. “Please tell me.”
“Really love it’s nothing.”
“You’re a bad liar Spike.” Buffy tried to pull away as the sensation of being unsure of herself began to arise within her. “Something’s making you look like you want to crawl under the nearest rock.”
“Sorry pet,” Spike tightened the grip on her hand, “just thinking about the past.”
“The car crash or Ellie?” Buffy’s response was almost instinctual. “Or both?”
“Both—I was just thinking that she’ll never be around to see Imogen grow up,” Spike’s grip even tightened harder on her hand. “What type of life I’d have if she’d survived the crash.”
“Oh,” Buffy almost choked.
“That it’s kind of sad that if she hadn’t been in that car crash, I would never would have known you. No one has consumed me with the love or passion that I feel for you,” Spike pulled Buffy’s hand to his lips again and kissed the soft flesh of her forehand. “Summers, you are my life. So much that I couldn’t tell you just how much you mean to me.”
“But you can Spike, you can tell me,” Buffy leaned over the table slightly as she softly smiled at him. “Tell me you need me.”
“I need you.”
“Tell me you want me.” Buffy looked passionately at him, her eyes burning with desire.
“I want you.”
“Tell me you love me.” Buffy lifted her free hand to Spike’s face, caressing the chiselled line of his cheek.
“I love you, you know I do.” Spike turned his lips into her hand, kissing her palm. “So much that I’m drowning in you, Summers.”
“See Spike, you can tell me how much I mean to you,” Buffy’s smile tinged with anguish as she slightly titled her head. “I know the sadness that you feel. Don’t you think that I haven’t felt it sometimes when I pick up Imogen and see Ellie in her? That I didn’t wish that Imogen were a reflection of you and me, not Ellie? Call it selfish but sometimes I wish she were my child—our child. That I don’t feel guilty for those feelings?” Buffy cast her eyes down in shame, and after a moment she lifted her eyes back to Spike’s gaze, seeing no condemnation in his eyes, she continued. “Sad that someone had to die so that we could find each other? I wouldn’t have you, Imogen or the life I’m living now.”
“Don’t think like that love,” Spike faintly whispered to Buffy, “you’re living the life that you were meant to. With me.” He touched the hand that still rested on his face and clasped it with his own, bringing her hands together and resting them on the table. “Me and Imogen.”
“Sometimes I wish…” Buffy stopped speaking as if she was unsure of what she wanted to say.
“Be careful what you wish for Buffy.” Spike looked at Buffy with serious contemplation written all over his face. “Unless it’s for…”
“Miss, your shrimp,” the waiter interrupted the couple’s conversation and placed the small plate with a large cocktail glass full of shrimp on the table. He then placed Spike’s appetizer in front of him. “Is there anything that I can get for either of you, sir or madam?”
“No thank you,” Spike spoke in such an irate tone that the waiter left in a hasty retreat.
Buffy could only stare down at her food as she quickly grabbed the cocktail fork and began to eat the contents of the glass that held the large shrimps and sauce. For a second, Buffy glanced up at Spike and noticed the clear irritation on his face, swiftly breaking eye contact with him she went back to what she was doing. Buffy felt her chest tighten in anticipation for the conversation to resume, almost afraid of what he was going to say. She felt so stupid in that fear, as she was about to hear her every wish come true.
“Buffy,” Spike grabbed her hand as she was about to take another shrimp from the glass.
“Yes.”
“Look at me,” Spike titled his head sideways until he drew her gaze away from her task. “Don’t hide your eyes from me love, not now.”
“I’m not hiding from you,” Buffy placed her fork on the table and look straight into his eyes. “I…I’m…” her voice failed her as an overwhelming irrational sense of fear struck her.
“Afraid?” Spike finished her sentence for her. “Don’t be, pet. Don’t ever be afraid of what you want.”
“And that would be what, Mister Smartypants?” Buffy tried to lighten the situation.
“What do you wish for ??? Hmmm…” Spike took his hand away from her arm and lifted his fork, taking a bit of the food that sat in front of him. Buffy watched as Spike slowly chewed on his food and didn’t even attempt to finish what he was saying.
“And what do I wish for Spike?”
“Everything Buffy, everything,” Spike spoke after he swallowed the food in his mouth.
“Not specific enough Spike,” Buffy picked her fork up again and lifted a shrimp onto it. Dipping it into the sauce and lifting it to her lips, but not before speaking again. “Tell me.”
“A successful career after you finish university,” Spike took another mouthful of food.
“One of many things that I’d want, and that’s only a minor thing.”
“Good health and money,” Spike spoke after a moment of contemplation.
“Everyone wants that, Spike.” Buffy began to feel frustrated. “Be more specific.”
“Alright love,” Spike placed his fork on the plate with a clang. “Belonging, love, devotion and passion,” he said softly with a cheeky grin on his face.
“Spike, please.” Buffy looked at him with exasperation peering through her eyes. “Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not, love; we all want all of those things,” Spike continued to speak with a soft tone that only she could hear. “But Buffy, you already have them. You belong to me. You have my love and my utter devotion.”
“You forgot about passion,” Buffy voice trembled.
“Could you wish for more passion between us, Buffy?” Spike looked at her knowingly . his voice sounding so sultry smooth that she could feel her heart beat race faster in response and the hairs on the back of her neck curl up as her skin goose bumped. “Passion that burns and consumes us every time we touch each other, until it’s all gone and reborn the next time we touch.”
Buffy felt his words flow through her body and soul; Spike was right about the passion that they shared between them. It burned and consumed them, even the slighted touch from him could send her up in flames, but their shared passion for each other wasn’t enough. Buffy wanted more. She could feel the desire for everything that was Spike to be hers and hers alone ignite. With some conviction and courage, she tried to think of how she could say it to him.
Again, simplicity would be the easiest way to tell him.
“Passion isn’t enough, Spike. I want it all—belonging, love, devotion…” Buffy sat up straight and repositioned herself in her chair. “The house, white picket fence, car…husband and children. I want it all Spike, and I want it all with you.”
“I’d give just about anything for that Buffy, anything.” Spike took another mouthful of food and silently chewed.
“I can hear a ‘but’ in there,” Buffy looked away, fear whelming inside her again.
“I’m sorry love but there is,” Spike glanced away from her as he tried to suppress the trepidation he felt begin to arise that she might just agree with some of the ‘buts’ Buffy heard in his voice. “Buffy, you’re only eighteen. How can you be sure that you could spend a lifetime with me and Imogen?”
“I know my own feelings Spike, and I know that we can make it. I can understand that maybe you’re frightened that I might find someone else. Here is my ‘but’—I don’t want anyone else. You’re everything that I want and need. Imogen is an added bonus and I couldn’t imagine her never being around in my life ever again.”
“Imogen is another lifetime commitment Buffy. Are you ready to take on the role of her mum? I mean really be a permanent part of her life. Are you really ready to be called ‘mum’ by my daughter?”
“Spike, Imogen already thinks I’m her mom,” Buffy beamed a smile at him. “I love her so much it hurts when I have to leave her. Do I really have to tell you this Spike? I would have thought that it was apparent every time I was with Imogen?”
“I’m not blind to the way you two react to each other, but I have to ask. I wouldn’t be doing the right thing by Imogen if I didn’t.” Spike pushed the plate in front of him forward as he’d finished with its contents.
“Why are you rehashing things that we’ve already talked about before, Spike? You know that I want to be with you and Imogen. Every day I wish that I was with you, every second that I’m not, I think about us, you and Imogen.” Buffy leant over the table. “My life would be empty without you and I can’t imagine ever wanting to leave you.”
“Good because I’m never letting you go, Summers. Never.” Spike grabbed both of her hands together into a tight grip. “I wanted to wait a lot longer than this to talk about the future and what path we’re headed down. But considering what’s happened in the last few weeks, I think that we should talk about it now rather than later.”
“You mean our future together?” Buffy voice croaked with nervousness.
“Yes love,” Spike tightened his hold even more, “I want you to know that I want a total commitment from you, Buffy.”
“You have my total commitment, Spike. What are you getting at?” Buffy deep down knew exactly what he meant but need him to say it.
“Buffy, I think that you’re too young for it now, but in a few years I want us to get married. I want you as my wife,” Spike almost pleaded with her. “I want to have more children with you. I want you with me for the rest of my life.”
“What do you mean by ‘too young now’?” Buffy looked a little cross at his words. “I think that should be my decision if I’m too young to get married.”
“Sweetheart, you’re eighteen and I’m nearly ten years older,” Spike swallowed hard as he knew that he’d really have to tread carefully not to insult Buffy as he got his point across to her. “Buffy I don’t want you to be sorry about being married so young. When you could have seen the world with your friends or something bloody else giving you a reason to regret us. Marriage is about sacrifices and compromise,” Spike exhaled heavily. “I don’t ever want to be the reason for any regret in your life. I don’t think I could survive losing you to regret.”
“I know that all relationships are about sacrifice Spike,” Buffy sighed. “I saw what a disaster my parents’ marriage became and they married late in life. I think that I know what I want and age has nothing to do with it.”
“Hey survivor here too Buffy,” Spike tried to smile. “I saw my mother and father at each others throats for years and they still are, well my mother maybe. I don’t want that to be us.”
“So we avoid that rocky road. You know, put a big ‘No Entry” on that road and with my sense of direction we’ll never find it anyway.”
“Buffy….”
“Don’t, Spike. I know my own mind and what I want. Please don’t think for me. I can do that myself, even though sometimes I get things a bit mixy. I’m not an imbecile.” Buffy made her stand against his objections.
“Maybe you’re right, Goldie,” Spike leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the lips, “but we are still going to wait until later. I’m not a cradle robber, Buffy.”
“This isn’t the sixteenth century, Spike.” Buffy kicked him under the table with her shoe. “I’ve already got friends that have gotten married. Why should we be any different?”
“Buffy…” Spike shook his head and smiled, “you’re like a puppy with a bone. Once you get your teeth into something you don’t let go.”
“No I don’t and that’s ‘a fluffy puppy’ to you.” Buffy sighed again a bit louder this time her lip beginning to drop as she began to pout. “If we want to get married, why not sooner rather than later?”
“Because,” Spike rested his head on his hand as he tried to think of a way to make her understand that it was best they wait until later. “You have to finish school at least and getting ready for the wedding would only be a distraction.”
“Not a good enough excuse Spikey,” Buffy pulled a face. “You have to do better.”
“How about that I want to wait and I think that your mum would like for us to wait.”
“You’ve spoken to mom already about us getting married?” Buffy tried to hide the joy on her face, smiling inwardly that he might be old fashioned and ask her mom for her permission first. Before he had even brought up the subject of marriage with her, Buffy felt a little unsure that her mother might be the one behind his insistence that they wait until she was older.
“No love,” Spike saw the quick disappointment appear and disappear on her face. “But I don’t think she’d be too happy with her daughter being a child bride.”
“Fine!” Buffy sat back with her spine straight and her arms defensively crossed against her chest. “Whatever Spike.”
“Love, I only want to put off our inevitable marriage for a few years,” Spike leaned over and pulled one of her hands away from her chest. “Buffy, we need to wait just a little longer.”
“Sounds like you are just trying to find excuses,” Buffy tried to pull her hand back that now lay between his hands. “Do you even want to get married, Spike?”
Spike swallowed hard and with his free hand fumbled around in the pocket of his jacket that still hung on the back of the chair. Softly he swore, as what he was trying to retrieve wouldn’t come out of the pocket. Finally without toppling himself over from where he sat, the small jewellers box came out from where he’d hidden it. Leaning over, he placed the large box onto the table between the two of them. Buffy’s eyes widened in curiosity and her breath caught in her throat.
“I wasn’t really planning to do this love, but I guess now is the right time,” Spike watched Buffy as her jaw dropped in bewilderment. “I do want to marry you Buffy. Today if we could. Right at this moment, but as much as we want to now isn’t the right time.” Spike tried not to cave into her desire to marry as soon as possible; he needed Buffy to be sure when she said ‘I do’. As hard as it was not to give in, Spike knew it was for the best as much as he could feel her hurt and disappointment he had to keep to his guns. “So what I’m asking Buffy is that will you marry me when you’ve finished university. Be my bride on your twenty-first birthday?”
“Huh…twenty-first?” Buffy stumbled, “That’s nearly three years away, Spike. You want me to wait three years?”
“”Well, kind of.” Spike opened the box to show Buffy the diamond necklace that he’d brought with him. “I know that this isn’t an engagement ring Buffy, but think of it as a down payment on one.” Buffy’s ‘ohhhh’ could be heard in the quiet of the dinning room, as people seated around them had stopped talking and had focused on them.
Neither of them noticed that they had become the centre of attention from a small cluster of tables. Nor did they see the smiles of amusement from others, as ‘popping the question’ seemed to have become a difficult one for the man seated with his girlfriend. Many of the women seated near them wanted to get up and shake Buffy as she made her displeasure clear to all around them at his desire to wait until she was older. The men surrounding them squirmed in their seats as they listened and felt some sympathy for Spike as he struggled with the situation.
“It’s stunning,” Buffy touched the stone with her finger moving in the box making it sparkle as the light refracted off it. “A down payment?”
“Yeah love, I suppose I should say it’s a pre-engagement diamond necklace.” Spike lifted the box from the table and removed the necklace. Standing up he moved to stand behind Buffy and undoing the clasp, he placed the chain with the pendent on it around her neck. “So Buffy, what do you say?”
“”What do I say? It’s so beautiful I can’t believe that you bought it for me.”
“All you have to say is ‘yes’, and believe it sweetheart, you’re worth more to me than this,” Spike leaned down and kissed her cheek. “When the time’s right you can get a matching ring or have this diamond set into a ring. All you have to do is say yes.”
“Of course it’s yes!” Buffy placed a hand onto his cheek as she slightly turned her face to look at him. “I still think I’m right but if it makes you happy then we’ll wait.”
With that, he slipped his hands around her hair and fastened the clasp, letting the necklace rest around her neck. Turning in her chair, she faced him as she tugged onto the bottom of his shirt pulling him down onto his knees. Resting her hands onto his shoulders, she leaned into him and gentle placed her lips onto his. With light kisses, she expressed her pleasure and elation to Spike that deepened into an intensely passionate kiss. Both pulled away sharply as people surrounding them began to clap their hands together or raise their glass in salute to their happiness. Spike bent his head into Buffy’s chest as he tried to hide his amused smile from Buffy, whose face reddened from embarrassment at being the centre of attention.
“Don’t think that I’m going to make it easy for you making me wait,” Buffy pulled gently on Spike’s hair to make him lift his head up from her chest. “I’ll make your life hell until you agree with me.”
“We’ll I could make it easier for you, if you’d consider moving in with me and Imogen,” Spike smirked. “Then you’d be around to hassle me all you like and I’d get added benefits.”
“Added benefits,” Buffy lightly smacked his cheek. “Some cheek you have. One minute you want to wait to get married and next breath you ask me to move in. Make up your mind, Spike.”
“Love, I think it would be easier to talk your mum around to you moving in with me than you becoming Mrs. Benson just yet,” Spike got to his feet and moved back into his chair. “It’d also give her time to get used to the idea of you getting married young.”
“Twenty-one is not young Spike,” Buffy began defending her youth.
“These days it is, Buffy. Most women wait until they’ve finished school and their carers have taken off and I don’t think that your mum would want anything less for you.” Spike tried to make her understand his point of view a little more.
“Spike.”
“What?”
“Shut up,” Buffy ran her hand over her necklace, “I’ve agreed to wait, but I’m going to try my best to change your mind so let’s just leave it at that. You’re beginning to sound like a broken record.”
“Okay sorry,” Spike took her other hand that sat on the table. “Guess we should eat seeing as we’ve ordered it already. Mind you I’d rather take you home to bed and…”
“Spike please,” Buffy could feel her face redden again as she knew that they were within earshot of other diners. “Stop it.”
“Make me.”
“Behave or you’ll be on the sofa tonight,” Buffy whispered to him.
“Promises….promises.”
“Haven’t I promised you enough tonight?” Buffy asked him.
“You haven’t even begun to make enough promises to me love,” Spike leaned over the table with his lips forming a cocky and suggestive grin. “This just the beginning.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
If you like my fics please check out my new fic...Live and Breathe...set post Chosen....