From Night to Day
Chapter Eight
By Mercy
A/N thanks to Darcy and Kristy for edititng
Reflections In Innocent Eyes
He was lost in his thoughts when he heard the bathroom door open, instantly his thoughts went to Imogen, he thought the worst. There was an intruder in his home, hidden behind the door, ‘~Please don’t let them hurt my little girl~’, his instincts were going into kill mode. The door opened more just too a small crack, reflecting in his shaving mirror attached to the shower wall, he watched the door reveal his intruder.
Buffy.
She stood just behind the door, staring at him in the shower, her eyes wide and innocent. Not wanting to scare her off, he continued to wash himself, and allowed her to take the view in. He couldn’t fathom her presence in his house, or why she was there watching him? Especially after her rejection of him afterwards at the dinner table, then again maybe he had the whole situation wrong. He just didn’t know, and he didn’t care. She was here, watching him, he could see the confusion and desire melted together in her eyes, reflected in the mirror.
He slowed his movements in bathing himself, he soaped up the wash cloth again, and began running it up and down his arm. He continued up his collar bone, around and under his arm, to his torso travelling along his side, down to his hip, bending down to wash his leg. He returned in the opposite direction along his other side, so slowly that it was driving him insane, he just wanted to grab her and drag her into the shower to continue having one with her. He knew that wasn’t possible, he knew she’d run, and never trust him again, he’d be no better than the punk that had hurt her.
His thoughts were having an undesired influence on him, as he felt himself being affected by her presence and his desire for her. It was becoming obvious that he was losing control, and losing it fast, he caught her reflection in the mirror once again. He could see her watching him, looking at him up and down, not taking her eyes of his body, lapping up every inch of him. It was turning him on, and he just couldn’t take it anymore, so he took matters into his own hands. He knew that he’d either scare her off, or make his desire for her as plain as day. He put his head once more under the water, trying to clear his minds of all his thoughts, and just concentrate on here and now.
Buffy watched as he washed himself under the stream of water, as it cascaded down his body, taking the bubbles of soap with it. At points on his body it collected and concentrated into thick droplets of water, she couldn’t help herself as she watched them travel down his beautiful form. Starting at his hair, they dripped onto his shoulder, some travelling to the front of him, which was hidden from her view, others down to his back as they travelled downwards. Through the ripples of muscles, as they moved as he cleaned himself with the wash cloth, sending the droplets in different directions, all over his back. Finally reaching his buttocks, they sheared off into even more directions, down his legs, past his muscled thighs, and calves. They disappeared beyond his feet and down to the drain below the tiles.
Buffy could feel her heart and breathing speed up as she watched him bathe; she was frozen on the spot. This was not what she’d come for, but she couldn’t pull herself away, and if anything, seeing him like this just strengthened her resolve. She revelled in her response to him. It was the first step in the direction she wanted to go. She just stood there, admiring the beauty of the man before her. He was perfect in everyway possible, and every woman’s fantasy.
She continued to watch him, as he allowed the water to rinse the soap from his body, and drop the wash cloth to the floor. He moved his hand to the side of the shower. Expecting him to turn off the water, Buffy moved slightly away from the door, trying to hide her presence from him. Waiting for a few seconds, she realised that he hadn’t turned off the water at all. He was leaning back against the wall of the shower.
He could hear her sharp intake of breath as she realised what he was doing, he had closed his mind of to everything, except her being here and watching him. He grasped himself in his hand, allowing the water to lubricate his movements, as he pleasured himself under the stream of the shower. He closed his eyes, too frightened to see her disappear from the reflection in the shaving mirror. He dreamed of her being here with him now, enveloped in his arms as the water moved down and between their bodies, as they kissed and caressed each other. With no fear in her eyes, just heat and desire that he felt for her, reflected in her own eyes for him.
Buffy was lost in the moment as much as he was, she couldn’t take her eyes off him, she felt her lungs burn with each breath she struggled to take, and the redness in her cheeks burn, as she felt a little twinge of embarrassment. The truth was she’d never seen this before, never seen the male form before, and never knew that it could be so breathtaking. As the desire for him hit its pinnacle, somewhere from deep inside her was the desire to want to be with him, under the water with his hands all over her. She averted her eyes just for a minute, as the shame of spying on him, took its place along side of the desire she felt. But she didn’t want to move, and she wasn’t going to.
He continued his movements with his hand with long quick strokes, trying to make it last as long as he could. Hoping that she continued to watch him, and that thought was enough to make him want come right then and there. He opened his eyes and saw that she still was there, standing behind the bathroom door, watching him with those innocent eyes. He quickened his pace as he caught her gaze in the mirror, his want of her evident in his eyes, and he didn’t bother to even hide it anymore from her. He called her name out as he let himself have release………………..
Quickly turning of the taps, he exited the shower and grabbed a towel on the way out of the bathroom. Wrapping it around his hips, he moved out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, not really expecting her to be there, he was a little shocked to find her sitting gob smacked on his bed. A little pale and unsure of herself.
“Buffy,” Spike whispered to the girl on his bed.
“Spike, ummmmmm…………….I came…….I came…..to………” Buffy mumbled a replied.
“If anyone came luv it was me.” Spike said, trying to add some humour into the situation.
“I……………I…”
“Yes, what Buffy? What are you trying to say?”
“I do…I do……..ummmmmmmmm”
“Buffy stop babbling, its okay sweetheart. Whatever you say will be okay?” Spike tried to reassure her.
The problem was that Buffy didn’t know what to say. What do you say to a man, just after you’ve broken into his house, watched him shower, and watched him come? Buffy was still trying to come to terms with the fact she had just stood there and watched him. It had created a haunting desire within her. She realised that she had more to overcome than just wanting to feel something for him. She wanted to overcome the fear of being with him, she wanted him as much as he wanted her. This alone in itself was going to be one of the greatest hurdles in any relationship that may develop between them.
“I’m sorry Buffy.” Was all he could say to her.
“Don’t be.”
“What?”
“I said ‘don’t be sorry’.”
“But……….” Now it was his turn to be dumfounded.
“I do………I do want you. But…………..but I don’t know if I can.”
“Luv you can do anything you want.”
“I know, but……….”
“But you’re scared?”
“Yeah I am, I’m terrified!”
Spike moved towards her, and sat on the bed beside her, taking her hand in his, frightened that she might try and run away. She had that stunned look in her eyes, like a rabbit caught in a car headlight. Too frightened to move and frozen in one spot. He just sat there next to her, really unsure what to say to her and how to approach her.
“Is this the part where you hit me over the head and run?” Spike asked the girl in front of him.
“I would if my legs would work!” Buffy replied to his question, trying to hide behind her fear behind humour.
“Do you even like me Buffy?”
“How can you ask me that? You know I do!”
“Do you trust me?”
“I’m trying to! I’m really trying too! But I’m afraid!”
“Of what Buffy? Tell me, explain it to me. Help me understand.” Spike tightened his hold on her hand.
“I’m scared. Scared of myself, scared of how I feel, scared of you a little, and scared of………. being with you.” Buffy moved slightly away from him, pulling her hand out of his.
“Buffy, luv you aren’t the only one to feel scared. I live with it everyday, and sometimes it consumes me, beyond the point I thought, of no return. But we have to face our fears, and live.” The conviction in Spike’s voice was deafening to her, she felt his insecurities and fear, come resoundingly through his voice. “Just live luv, just live!”
“I’m frightened that I don’t know how to anymore.”
“Then maybe we do need each other Buffy, because as much as I wanted to crawl into that coffin with my wife, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t because of Imogen, because she needed me, and slowly I realised I needed her too. I’ve realised something else Buffy, I need you! I need you to breathe, to move and to just be.”
“I……….I…..” Buffy was just too taken aback by his confession to say anything.
“Let me be the reason you live. Let me be the reason you breathe. Let me be the reason you be. Need me Buffy! Need me! Because for the love of god! I need you!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy numbly walked home from Spike’s after their conversation, she couldn’t say anything to him after what he’d said. He’d made his hunger for her plain, he’d put some of her cards on the table, and he knew what he wanted from her, plainly displaying it in front of her. Despite her resolve to move forward, the reality of the situation had smacked her in the face. Spike wanted her body and soul.
He wanted all of her, or not at all.
He was asking her for everything, and she knew that he would return everything he was back to her. She had thought that she felt lost in the situation before, now she just felt adrift from the reality of her life. She never expected this from him, and she didn’t know if she could handle it. She knew that she wanted to try, she truly wanted to reach out to him, be with him, and be part of him. Buffy truly felt her youth in that thought, she knew that in accepting him, she would have to accept Imogen as part of the package. The little girl deserved to be included in any decision she made, and a commitment to him, meant a commitment to her.
Lost in even deeper thoughts know, Buffy entered her room via her window trying to avoid her mom. But with no luck, Joyce sat on a wicker chair in the corner of her room, with Mr Gordo in her lap. She pulled at the pigs ears, the look of worry spread across her face.
“You used to sleep with him every night without fail, when you were little.” Joyce said as Buffy sat on her bed facing her mother.
“I couldn’t sleep without him.”
“He older than you Buffy, much older, and it’s so complicated!” Joyce continued to worryingly pulling on Mr Gordo’s ears, nearly ripping them off.
“I know mom. He is older, but not that much………….he’s only 27 !.”
“He has a baby Buffy, a little life dependent on him. Do you want that responsibility Buffy?”
“Gee I’m gone five minutes, we’ve kissed once………or twice, and you have us married already. Please mom be real!”
“I am being real Buffy! He’s a grown man, with a child! You’re only 18, for god’s sake! What would you know about what you need? Why not a boy your own age? I mean what was so wrong with Riley, that you now have to get involved with Spike? An older man!”
Buffy saw red. She could listen to anything that her mother could throw her way about her and Spike, but to bring Riley into the mix was just too much. She exploded with anger, and started screaming at her mother. “Get out! Just get out!!” Joyce had never seen her daughter react like this about Riley before; she’d just clamed up about them, when they’d broken up. She had flatly refused to speak about them.
“Buffy, I will not leave until you explain yourself young lady!”
“Please mom, not now, please!” the tears forming in her eyes, fell down like rain drops down the side of a wall, on her face. Her sobs became stronger the more tears continued to fall down her face. Her mother quickly dropped Mr Gordo and enveloped her daughter into a tight hug of reassurance, and love.
“Did something happen tonight, sweetheart?” Joyce asked her daughter, with great concern.
“Yeah mom, something did.”
“What sweetheart, tell me? What happened?”
“I think I’m falling in love.”
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