Chapter Twenty-Four
Truth Is Told
“The thing is, Buffy…” Spike paused. How the hell did you break something like this? Gently?
The seriousness of his tone made Buffy stiffen beside him. She wanted to prompt him, to push him into telling her, hating that he was hesitating. It just made her more afraid of what he was going to say. But she bit her tongue. She knew that he was just trying to get whatever it was straight in his head before speaking. He was still trembling and for some reason had his eyes closed. She squeezed on the hand he was holding, hoping that he would draw strength from her.
Abruptly, he snatched his hand away and turned around, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. He buried his face in his hands. He knew his eyes were still amber, but in his distress, he just couldn’t make them change back.
“I c…can’t,” he stuttered. “It’s too hard. Oh, God, Buffy. I love you so much and…I…”
Buffy shuffled over until she could wrap her arms around him. She stayed behind him rather than sitting next to him, somehow managing to give him space even though she was holding him. For a second, he relaxed in her arms and then, to her horror, he began to sob; heart-wrenching sobs that shook his whole body. Now she was terrified. What on earth had gotten him so upset?
“Shh, baby. It’s okay. I’m here. Whatever it is, we’ll deal, okay?” she whispered softly in his ear. “Just talk to me, Spike.”
Spike finally got his sobs under control and wiped his still amber eyes with the palms of his hands. He sniffed a couple of times and then started, hesitantly, to speak.
“You remember when I was ill that day in Leeds?”
“Oh, my God!” blurted Buffy. “Are you still ill? Is it serious?”
“Not exactly,” replied Spike.
“What?” Her mind was working overtime, thinking of all the things that could be wrong with him.
“Please, just hear me out, pet,” Spike said wearily. This was going as badly as he feared it would.
“Well, tell me straight then. It seems to me that you’re trying to break something to me gently, and all you’re doing is making it worse for me. Just freaking tell me,” Buffy snapped. She unwrapped her arms from around his body and as soon as she did Spike stood up.
He kept his back to her. “Something happened to me in Leeds. You want it straight? Well, here it is. I was bitten by a vampire.”
Buffy snorted. “This isn’t the time for jokes, Spike.”
“It’s not a joke, love, nor a bad dream. Trust me, I’ve prayed that it was.”
Buffy leapt off the bed and moved swiftly to stand in front of Spike. He took a step back and kept his eyes on the floor.
“You’ve been drinking or doing drugs, haven’t you? I knew that this lifestyle would suck you in eventually. You were wired this morning when you were on TV, weren’t you?” Buffy demanded.
Spike lifted his head. “What? No, ‘course not.” Without thinking he stared at her.
It was Buffy’s turn to step back. “Shit, your eyes!”
“Bollocks,” snarled Spike. Then he closed his eyes and sighed as he realised that a growl had escaped in his frustration. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. It’s like the eyes – I can’t always control it.”
Buffy stared at him open-mouthed. “But…how…? Coloured contact lenses,” she said. “That’s what it is - you’re still fooling with me.” Even as she said it, she knew that it wasn’t true.
Spike reached out and took her hands in his. “I’m not fooling with you. I wish that I was.” He began to lead her to the dressing table at the other side of the room.
“Spike? What are you playing at?” Buffy still couldn’t believe her ears. Was he having a nervous breakdown? He wouldn’t be the first rock star to crack under the pressure, and Spike always did live on his nerves during a tour.
“Look,” he said simply.
“Look at what?” She glanced at him, feeling bewildered.
“The mirror.” His voice was a whisper.
“What do y--” She stared at the mirror in disbelief.
She was alone. She turned to him. He was watching her carefully, as she met his gaze his eyes faded from the harsh yellow to his beautiful blue ones.
“Oh, my God, Spike. I can’t take this in. What’s going on? It’s not possible – you said a vampire? But they’re not real.”
She backed away from him until she saw the hurt and fear in his eyes. She rapidly crossed the space she’d put between them and flung her arms around him. She began to weep.
“What does this mean to us, Spike? What’s going to happen to us?”
“I honestly don’t know, pet. Let’s sit down and I’ll tell you the whole thing, yeah?”
He guided her back to the bed and began to talk, hesitantly at first, and then more confidently as she kept a firm grip on his hand the whole time. His eyes changed several times as he spoke, but to her credit Buffy barely reacted to it apart from giving a little gasp the first time it happened.
He couldn’t look her in the eye when he told her of Drusilla, his voice breaking as he confessed that he’d had sex with her. Finally, when he had brought her up to date with the whole thing, he met her gaze and spoke. His eyes changed colour so many times that Buffy felt dizzy.
“Please believe me, Buffy. I didn’t want to be with her. I didn’t mean to betray you.”
It was disconcerting to see tears falling from eyes that one moment were blue and the next yellow.
“Why are you getting so upset about it? I know that you would never go with another woman, Spike. I trust you completely. If you say she enthralled you then what is there for me not to believe?”
“Tara can tell you about a vampire’s thrall,” continued Spike, still trying to convince Buffy.
She silenced him with a kiss. “Spike, honey. Just take a deep breath. I know you haven’t betrayed me, so Tara doesn’t need to tell me about it. I. Believe. You.”
Spike glanced at her and saw concern for him on her face, not the revulsion that he’d feared. His emotions got the better of him again, and he clung to her so tightly that she had to make him let go so that she could breathe.
Buffy’s mind was reeling. She’d told him the truth when she said that she believed him, but it didn’t mean that she liked the thought. Spike had been her only lover and she knew that she was his, too. But now…? She didn’t want to think about it. She knew Spike well enough to know that if she let him see that she was upset by it, that he would be destroyed.
“You said that Rich and Tara have been trying to help you. Shall we go down and talk to them now? I think I need to hear what’s being done to try to stop what’s happening.”
Spike glanced at her. “Okay.” His voice was low.
He stood up and started to walk to the door. Buffy reached out and took his hand, making him turn to look at her. Spike could tell that his eyes were yellow and closed them tightly. He didn’t want her to see them.
“Hey, Spike, we’ll get through this. I’m here now. We’ll sort this out.” She reached up and kissed him, letting her fingers brush his eyelids. “Don’t be ashamed of these. I love you, whatever colour they are.”
He opened them and stared at her. She didn’t recoil from the harsh amber gaze like Tara and Rich did. Her love for him was too strong for it to happen.
“God, I love you, Summers.” His voice broke and more tears fell as he hugged her close.
“I love you too, Spike.”
A few moments later, they walked downstairs and found Tara and Rich in the lounge watching TV.
Rich glanced up as they entered the room. “So you told her then?”
Spike nodded and flopped down in an armchair.
Rich turned his eyes to Buffy. “So, you’re not going to rip me a new one for not telling yer sooner?”
Buffy shook her head. “No. Not just yet anyway!” She smiled weakly at him. “Like Spike said. It needed to be told face to face.” She looked over at Tara. “A witch, huh?”
Tara blushed a little. “Yes, I am.” She tensed up, worrying what else Buffy would say.
“Thank God that you are! Spike said what a help you’ve been to him. Have you managed to find anything else that might help?”
They discussed what Tara and the coven had been working on. About half-way through Buffy being brought up to speed, Spike stood up abruptly.
“Sorry, I’ve got to get out for a minute. I can’t…it’s…sorry.”
He fled the room and they all started as the front door slammed shut behind him. Rich stood and was going to follow him but Buffy put a hand on his arm as he passed her.
“Leave him, Rich. He’ll be okay. It’s just what he does when things get too much. He just walks about and it clears his head.”
Buffy knew exactly how to react to Spike’s emotions, when to give him space and when to force him to face his fears. He’d borne this burden without her help for some time and telling her had hit him hard. She knew that he just needed time to get his emotions back in check.
“If you’re sure?” Rich sat down again.
“He’ll be back within the hour. I’m certain of it. He’s a complex character; sometimes puts too much on himself. It’s not like he could have prevented this, could he? But the fact that he had sex with that bitch has freaked him out.”
“What about you?” asked Tara. “Are you okay about it?”
Buffy grimaced. “I can’t say I like it, but I do believe him when he says that he had no choice.”
“He didn’t. It’s a reported vampire trait,” said Tara. “They use it exactly as Drusilla did, to ensnare their victims without a struggle.”
“So tell me how this parallel dimension thing works? I couldn’t really take it in when Spike told me.”
Rich went and got them all a coffee as Tara started to tell Buffy all that she knew.
000000000
Spike stalked around the leafy streets near to the house.
“Come on, Spike. Get a sodding grip.”
He found himself at a small park where he’d been a few times with James all those years ago. He wandered over to the children’s play area and sat on one of the swings. He put his head in his hands and slowly rocked himself backwards and forwards with his feet. His thoughts were bleak. If nothing could be done, then surely he was going to turn into a monster. He shuddered at the memory of how aware he’d been of Buffy’s heartbeat and pulse as they made love. He’d been excited by it.
“Oh, bollocks.”
He sighed deeply and got up from the swing and slowly walked home, once more unaware that he’d been photographed.
000000000
“Hey, Ethan.”
“Mark, what have you got?” said Ethan as he answered the telephone.
“More pictures of our troubled rock star,” replied Mark. “I copped him coming out of the house like the hounds of hell were behind him. Then he sat in a park for half an hour looking pretty miserable.”
“Buffy’s only just arrived, too,” said Ethan with a grin. “You wouldn’t expect him to go storming out with her there, would you?”
“Nope. Something is definitely off. So, are we going to get these out in the open yet? The longer we take to sell them, the more chance of someone else getting similar images.”
“Patience. This could be huge. Just give it another couple of days – you never know what else we might get.”
“Okay,” agreed Mark. Ethan Rayne was an awkward bastard but he knew the job inside out, and had made a lot of money trusting his instincts.
0000000000
Spike walked back into the house and as soon as he found Buffy, he enveloped her in a hug. “’M sorry, pet, for rushing out; just needed some air.”
“That’s okay, Spike. How are you feeling now?” she replied.
He let her go and stood with his head on one side, and quirked a brow over a blue eye. Buffy giggled.
“Okay, dumb question. But you know what I meant.” She gently cuffed his arm.
“Yeah, I did. Honestly? I’m bleeding terrified. If that other vampire gets his hands on me before we get his blood for the ritual, he could finish the job that Drusilla started.” He swallowed hard as he felt his eyes change. After a moment they returned to blue.
“It won’t come to that,” replied Buffy firmly.
“But—”
“It won’t!”
Spike stared at the petite blonde in front of him and smiled. She’d always been protective of him. A mini lioness. She’d stood up to the school bully one time when he was giving poor old William Pratt a hard time. Looking at her, he thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be all right.
Tbc
[Reviews - 359]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 1495 times
- Text Size +
Banner by dawnofme
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Banner by dawnofmeAuthor's Chapter Notes:
Thanks as ever to Carol and dawnofme for their beta work :)
Chapter End Notes:
Taking a moment to leave a review makes me and my plot bunnies happy! :)