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Apart from a slight headache the next morning, she felt surprisingly good after her night out. Well, except for the slight gap in her memory: she remembered leaving the club with Spike – and nothing after that. It was slightly worrying but the thing was, she trusted Spike and was pretty certain he had got her home safe with no incidents. She also trusted him not to share her slight indulgence in the world of alcohol with her mother.

It was strange really, just how much she trusted this vampire. But she did, no question about that. Come to think of it, she had even trusted him before the soul. After all, she had agreed to that deal with him, knowing that he would hold up his end, knowing that – despite the outward show – he was an honourable man. Which was not something she often thought when it came to vampires… but as she was quickly coming to learn, Spike was no normal vampire.

She smiled and rolled out of bed, getting ready for another day. It was going to be another day of lounging around, nothing to do but relax and push all thoughts of a certain dark-haired vampire from her mind. And maybe some bonding with the Scoobies later on – it had been so long since she had spent any decent amount of time with them. She missed them – she even missed Giles moaning at her for her sometimes frivolous take on her duty.



She whiled away the day with Spike and as the sun set they headed for Giles’ house. She had thought to go earlier, but some urge made her delay her departure so the vampire could come with her. After all, she had a feeling being cooped up all day had a similar effect on him as it did on her: made her restless and edgy. Her suspicions were confirmed when he jumped at the chance to accompany her and was at the door in seconds, ready to leave. She laughed as she caught up to him and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“What?” he asked.

“You. All eager to be out of the house. Like a puppy or something.”

“Thanks ever so,” he murmured sarcastically, but she saw the hint of a smile around his lips as he fell into step beside her. She smiled widely and turned back to the path with a slight skip in her step.

“So, did you enjoy yourself last night?” Spike asked after a few moments’ silence.

There was something strange about the way he asked her – and the slight smirk he was trying to hide – but she assumed it was just because he was making fun of her flirting with that college guy.

“Yeah. It was great,” she replied, “It was just really nice to get out of the house and, you know, forget about things for a night.”

He smiled and nodded, seemingly lost in thought.

“What about you?” she asked, drawing his attention back to her.

“Well… it was an entertaining night,” he answered somewhat mysteriously, smiling widely.

She frowned but he said nothing and they fell into a comfortable silence.



As they reached Giles’ she glanced at the vampire beside her, searching for any hint of uneasiness.

“Are you okay about this?” she asked quickly, as they walked through the courtyard.

“About what?”

“You know, inquisition part two.”

He smiled uncertainly as she knocked on the door.

“Just have to be a big brave boy,” he murmured only seconds before the door opened and she suppressed a giggle as Giles gave her a strange look.

“Good evening,” he greeted both of them, ushering them into the house.

She flashed Spike a wide smile and with his own slightly less certain one, they entered the house together. She took up the last seat on the couch and Spike settled on the arm next to her, a vision of calm – unless you looked closely and saw his fingers twitching. She smiled and turned to her friends.

“So, did everyone have fun last night?”

“One of the best Bronze nights of this year,” Xander exclaimed and Willow nodded in agreement.

“Where did you go to though, Buffy? You just disappeared.”

She glanced at Spike and bit her lip.

“I wasn’t feeling very well so we left early.”

She saw him struggling to suppress a smile and she elbowed him discreetly in the leg.

“I hope you’re feeling better today?” Giles asked in a way that seemed suspicious – to her at least.

“I had a bit of a headache earlier, but now I’m fine.”

She heard Spike bite back a snort and she elbowed him again, flashing him a glare.



They soon settled down to the usual Scooby banter and she was glad to see that, even though he didn’t participate greatly, Spike wasn’t completely silent by her side. And as far as she could tell, the Scoobies seemed to accept his presence with no hesitation. She did notice Xander watching him warily whenever he moved, but then Xander had always been overly paranoid when it came to vampires, even – or maybe especially - vampires with a soul.

Spike himself grew more relaxed as the evening progressed and she even dared to leave him as she and Willow went to get a drink from the kitchen. As soon as they were in the kitchen, Willow collared her.

“You were drunk last night!” she whispered loudly.

“Shh!” she returned, glancing nervously into the living room, “I wasn’t drunk! I was just a bit tipsy.”

“Is that why you had to go home?”

“Well, Spike kinda dragged me out actually. I think he was worried ‘coz I was talking to that college guy.”

Willow giggled girlishly.

“He was cute.”

“He was alright,” she replied with a shrug, “He’s kinda hazy in my memory.”

They both giggled and she glanced back at the living room, noticing that the males seemed to be silent.

“We should probably go lighten up the party,” she said to Willow and they left the kitchen.



“… from before, I mean.”

Giles was just finishing saying something as they came out and when Buffy saw Spike stiffen, she made her way slowly to his side.

“Well, ‘course I’m unchanged,” Spike replied hesitantly, eyes flashing to hers, “I got a soul, not a personality transplant.”

Ahh, she thought, Giles had taken his chance in her absence to start the interrogation. Spike seemed uncomfortable, but refused to back down and she smiled softly, sitting down on a chair by his side.

“And you don’t feel it has had any effect on your persona?”

“Why would it?” Spike countered.

“Well, from what we know…” Giles explained, glancing at her, “Well, surely the soul… replaces the demon?”

Spike surprised them all by laughing then and she knew she wasn’t the only one hanging on his answer.

“That what he told you?” he asked when he had calmed down, just catching her eyes before looking away, “That they’re separate? Probably just like all this stuff about the demon and the human being separate…”

“You mean to suggest that a person, when turned, is still the same? You honestly expect us to believe that you are the same person you were before you were a vampire?” Giles asked – not cruelly, merely curiously.

“Well, of course not. But you can’t tell me you’re the same as you were ten, twenty years ago.”

“Certainly not.”

“Well, multiple it by about six times, and you’ll see what I’m saying.”



Giles was silent for a moment, obviously considering his next words, but then he spoke up.

“But that still suggests that you don’t think being a vampire changes someone… and that having your soul returned doesn’t change you either.”

“Of course it changes you, but…” Spike trailed off and then continued, “Look, I’m still figuring it out myself but… the soul doesn’t replace anything… It adds to what’s already there. It’s all parts of a whole, if you see what I mean?”

Giles nodded but she was still partly confused. Spike’s gaze slid to hers than and she sat up a bit straighter, her gaze holding his.

“It would be convenient, wouldn’t it?” he continued in a low voice, “If you could separate the two parts of yourself? If you could blame all your worst crimes on that other part of yourself?”

He paused for a moment, eyes flicking to the others then back to hers.

“Can’t say it’s not tempting. To lay all the blame on Spike. But he’s not a different person… he’s me. It’s all me.”

His eyes moved away from hers but the message had gotten through loud and clear, making her uneasy.

“Might be a bit more William in me than there has been of late… but I’m still Spike. Still William the Bloody. Can’t just wipe my hands of that.”

“Well, of course not,” Giles said quietly, watching the vampire intently, “But you have a chance to change yourself now… to make amends.”

“Remake myself into something I’m not,” Spike added with a weary smile.

Buffy saw Willow glance at her before turning to Spike and speaking up.

“Angel did it.”



She hated the awkward silence his name provoked and she raised her chin, refusing to show weakness. She saw Spike turn to her slightly, a brief flash of concern crossing his face, but she nodded jerkily and he turned back with his reply.

“Angel’s a myth,” he said quietly, “He doesn’t exist. He’s just… Liam… but with a bit more sense. Still got Liam’s failings… very human failings.”

He threw a quick glance at her and continued.

“Being a vampire doesn’t change that, neither does having a soul.”

And what about you, Spike?” Giles asked, bright eyes watching the vampire, “Are you a myth too?”

Spike was silent for a moment and she saw him tense, before he forced himself to relax and answered Giles’ question, a slight smirk crossing his face.

“Of course. You don’t think I crawled out of my grave already like this?” he joked, “Had to make a name for myself, didn’t I?”

He paused briefly and then continued more seriously.

“But yeah, deep down I’m just William… with the balls I never had before,” he murmured with a wry smile.

There was silence as everyone seemed to be absorbing his words – she more than any, considering what this meant to everything she thought she knew. Giles broke the silence, seemingly unfinished with his questions.

“But do you feel you are becoming accustomed to the soul?”

“Haven’t been killing if that’s what you’re asking,” Spike answered somewhat defensively, his shoulders tensing, “Slayer can vouch for me.”

“And do you never get the urge to kill?” Giles asked.

“Do you never?” Spike retorted and Giles smiled slightly.

“Fair point.”



Both Brits suddenly seemed to relax and she assumed Giles’ interrogation was over. He seemed pleased with the results anyway, as far as she could tell. Polishing his glasses, he turned his attention back to Spike and smiled.

“So, how are you enjoying the Summers’ hospitality?”

“No complaints here,” Spike replied honestly, turning to her with a smile, “Surrounded by good people.”

She smiled back, warmed by his words.

“But I assume when you feel up to it, you will find somewhere of your own?”

“Well, hadn’t really thought about it much… but yeah, I guess so.”

Giles nodded but she frowned, the idea an unwelcome one – one that she hadn’t even considered yet.



It wasn’t until they had left Giles’ that she brought it up though. They were wandering home slowly, both quiet, lost in thought. They were headed for the nearest grocery store, Spike having claimed to be in desperate need of ‘smokes’ the minute they left Giles’ house. Just before they reached the store, she took a deep breath and spoke up.

“You’re not really going to leave, are you?” she exclaimed, surprising the vampire out of his own thoughts.

“Well, like I said, it’s not something I’ve thought about yet.”

He turned to her and smiled softly.

“And anyway, I’m enjoying the Summers’ hospitality far too much at the moment.”

She smiled back hesitantly as he continued.

“But I guess… I can’t keep imposing on you and your mum forever.”

“There is no imposing!” she protested quickly, “You know you’re welcome. My mom loves having you around, you know that.”

“And you, Slayer?”

The way he was looking at her and the way he asked stilled her for a moment, sending a jolt straight through her.

“I…”

Suddenly movement to the right caught her eye and she quickly turned, coming to an abrupt halt when she saw Angel standing just a few paces away, dark eyes fixed on her.





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