That night, the dream returned with full-force. It seemed as soon as she closed her eyes, he was there, hovering just out of reach. But not for long. She reached out for him and then he was hers, cool hands on her skin, a cool mouth moving over her neck, her jaw and finally finding her mouth. It was different though, this time. Before, she had dreamed of soft embraces, of barely-there kisses, of gentle caresses but now her dream was tinged with passion, a fierce and intense passion.

She could feel her body humming, could feel every touch imprinted in her skin. He was burning her up with every touch and she kept begging him for more. She was plastered to him, arms and legs entwined as he kissed her hard, kissing her with all the experience of a hundred years, reducing her to a mindless, helpless state. She found her hands running over him, tracing the long line of his back, burying her hands in his newly-blonde hair, pulling him closer.

She couldn’t seem to get him close enough. Never close enough. She whimpered his name, begging him, and as if from far away, his chuckle drifted to her as his mouth fell to her neck. She arched against him, hands twined in his hair, his name falling from her lips over and over again. And then, she felt him change and in the next second, she was crying out as his fangs pierced her skin.



She bolted upright, chest heaving, breath coming fast and hard as she struggled to calm herself down.

“It was just a dream. Just a dream,” she whispered.

“You alright?”

She screamed and whirled to face the vampire, gripping the covers to her chest.

“Hey, shh,” he soothed, moving to sit on the edge of her bed, “It’s just me.”

“S-spike,” she stammered out, wide eyes watching him, hoping he couldn’t hear just how fast her heart was beating as a result of that dream, “What are you…”

“You were making a lot of noise. You okay?”

Oh God, she really hoped she hadn’t said anything incriminating in her sleep.

“I… yeah. It was… it was just a dream.”

Worried eyes flicked over her and he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Your heart’s hammering away. You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” she got out, nodding. “I’m just… you scared me.”

“Sorry. I thought you might be having a nightmare. Heard you call my name.”

Her eyes went wide and she really hoped she wasn’t blushing.

“I-I did?”

“Yeah. Sounded like you were in pain,” he murmured, his voice full of concern, his hand tracing over her shoulder, soothing her.

“I don’t remember what it was about,” she lied.

He nodded and, somewhat reluctantly, withdrew his hand, sitting there in silence.



“Spike?” she called out and he raised his head.

“Yeah?” he asked absently and she smiled affectionately.

“I’m gonna go back to sleep now.”

“Oh, right,” he got out quickly, getting swiftly to his feet, “Sorry.”

“You… you can stay if you want,” she suggested, surprising herself.

Bright eyes locked on hers for a long moment and then he seemed to shake himself out of his daze.

“Nah, you’re alright, love. Can’t sleep anyway.”

“You okay?” she asked, worry instantly kicking in.

“Just fine,” he answered with a tiny smile, “Nothing for you to worry your little head about.”

“Spike…”

“I’m fine,” he repeated firmly and she decided to leave it.

He smiled hesitantly and moved towards the door but she called out before he could leave.

“Spike, you do know you can talk to me about anything, don’t you?”

He turned back to her and smiled softly.

“I know.”

She smiled back, warmed by his smile.

“I mean, after all, I have seen you cry over ‘Love Story’ so it’s not like you’ve got anything to hide from me,” she added, struggling to suppress her smile.

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“I’m gonna have to find a way to get you back for that,” he murmured lowly, dangerously, and she was surprised by just how much it made her heart race.

“You can try,” she answered with a smug grin.

“Night, love,” he called, seemingly conceding defeat for tonight.

“Night,” she replied, smiling still as he slipped out of the room, shutting the door silently behind him.




“What the hell is happening to you?” she whispered to herself, sinking back against her pillows and staring at the ceiling, “This is Spike.”

Previously, the name would have acted as a deterrent of the best kind, reminding her of the monster that had come to Sunnydale trying to kill her. But now that name only brought memories of the last month or so with it: she saw him huddled on the floor, tormented by his conscience - but more often than not, she saw him smiling at her, blue eyes shining brightly. She shook her head, driving the thoughts away.

This was crazy. Just because of that weird thing earlier… and a stupid dream… it didn’t mean anything. She was just… lonely. And she had just been dumped so yeah, a little rebound crushing was bound to happen. Not that she was crushing on Spike. She just happened to enjoy spending time with him. And he was very pretty. She groaned and rolled over, burying her head in her pillow.

“Shut up and go to sleep,” she growled at herself.



Sleep did not come easily and when it did, it was a restless one, plagued with confusion. She tossed and turned in her sleep, her mind playing forth for her images of the two vampires she knew so well, blending them until she could hardly tell the difference. She would be kissing one, and then suddenly it would be the other. These scattered images flashed before her eyes, until once again she was bitten – by which vampire she knew not – and she jolted awake again, her heart thumping and her head pounding.

“Stupid dream,” she grumbled, rolling out of her bed lazily.

She could just see sun peeking over the horizon and decided it wasn’t worth trying to get to sleep now – not that she thought she could. She was a little wigged by her weird dreams. But that’s all they were, weren’t they? Dreams. The weirdest things happened in dreams, as she well knew. It didn’t mean it was real. She shook her head and wrapped her dressing gown around herself, sighing and rolling her tense shoulders.

She shuffled out of her room and down the stairs, yawning as she slowly become more and more awake.

“Even a Slayer dream would be better,” she mumbled to herself.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and turned to head through to the kitchen, but froze when she spotted a figure out of the corner of her eye.



She crept to the living room doorway and stopped, taking in the sleeping vampire. He was sprawled on the couch, one arm slung over his eyes, the other covering something on his chest. She tilted her head, looking closer, and recognised a picture frame. When she glanced at the table beside the couch, the empty space confirmed that it was the picture of her and her mother. She smiled softly, sadly, confused by this puzzle of a vampire. Outwardly, he was so confident, so brash, so unafraid of anything… but scratch the surface and you found a vulnerable man who craved affection. She hadn’t been blind to the way he reacted to her mother’s kindness, his whole face lighting up at the slightest sign of affection. What had subdued him so, made him so desperate to be cared for, she wondered.

Drusilla had loved him, she was sure of it – as much as an insane vampire could love anyone – but she felt like she was missing something, some piece of the puzzle. Then again, maybe this wasn’t Spike, maybe this was William. He had never spoken of any siblings, had mentioned only his mother and that very rarely, and she had never heard of any friends, or really of anyone involved in his life before his turning. He could be hiding the past, but she had a sneaking suspicion that William had been a loner – and that Spike sometimes suffered from that same curse.



He shifted in his sleep, drawing her eyes back to him, and she smiled softly, taking in his relaxed features. He looked so young when he was asleep, the hard lines of his face softening into almost boyish ones. She didn’t even really know how old he was, she thought. So much of him was a mystery, but there were a few things she knew: she knew he was a good, honourable man; she knew he was loyal; and she knew he was strong and passionate. Was that it? Was that all she knew about this man she had been living with for over a month?

Well, she knew he was attractive, beautiful even. But that was obvious to anyone who wasn’t blind. He had lost some of the bad boy swagger and mysterious attraction since his ensouling, but was regaining it quickly, and it did not mean he had lost his attraction altogether. As long as he had those high, sharp cheekbones and those bright blue eyes, that was a given. She smiled, eyes trailing over his familiar features.

“You gonna stand there all day or are you gonna make some breakfast?”

She jumped at his sleepy murmur and she saw him smile, eyes opening slowly to meet hers.

“I was just thinking.”

He raised an eyebrow in question.

“It’s nothing,” she dismissed, “Breakfast sounds good.”

She turned and quickly made her way into the kitchen, with him joining her only moments later, yawning and running a hand through his messy hair.





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