Buffy woke up in a daze on the stairs of the Magic Box. Peering around herself and recognizing nothing, she walked toward the closest light switch, muttering “Huh?” under her breath. Willow and Xander, snuggled up on the floor, were startled to attention, and then started at each other in trepidation. Xander quickly diagnosed his gut, or more honestly, nether regions’ reactions to the red head, and smiled.
“Hey….”
Willow smiled back, meekly.
“Hey?”
Tara, Anya, and Giles slowly awoke next, followed by Spike, who rolled off of the counter and sent himself, screaming, to the floor. A short shriek announced Dawn’s awakening, and she fidgeted nervously.
“Who…who are you people?”
Buffy moved toward her, cautiously.
“Don’t worry.”
“Please don’t hurt me….”
“Oh, it’s okay, I don’t know anyone here either.”
Spike scoffed.
“Well that’s not true, love. I remember you clear as…well…er…I don’t remember your name, exactly…or mine for that matter, but last time I saw you we were ‘in flagrante delicto,’ remember?”
Buffy raised an eyebrow at him.
“In a what?”
“In fla…oh sod it, pet, means caught in the act.”
“In the act of what?”
Spike stared at her for a moment until the realization finally sunk in.
“Oh.”
Spike applauded.
“And the final horse crosses the finish line.”
Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.
“You don’t have to be mean…I can’t remember anything.”
Tara cleared her throat.
“Ne…neither can I.”
“I think we’re all suffering the same problem,” Anya interjected.
“Right,” Buffy said, “Well, we should probably figure out where we are…or…who we are, for that matter.”
“Looks like someone fancies herself the boss,” Spike said, rolling his eyes. “If we do get married, pet, there are going to be some changes.”
“Shut up, whoever you are.”
Staring for a brief moment at Anya, Giles tried to remember anything he could.
She looks just like the woman…could she? Bloody hell…she couldn’t be. Her eyes aren’t the same…but we did wake up together.
Giles turned to Anya and cleared his throat.
“Yes, well, I’m afraid the only memory that I can recall is of you, my dear…in quite the same position as he can remember…but I get the impression that we were not in this area…maybe another country, perhaps?”
Anya patted his hand and then gasped, pointing at her ring.
“It’s okay! We’re engaged! It’s a lovely ring.”
Buffy pouted when she looked at her barren finger, then sighed at Spike.
“Where’s mine?”
Spike thought for a moment, then grinned.
“We’re getting you a better one than I gave you…but I distinctly remember asking you, love, and you accepted…B…Betty? No…Belinda? No…BUFFY! You’re Buffy!”
“Buffy? Shyeah…what kind of name is that?”
“I don’t rightly know, pet.”
Shaking her head, Buffy smiled at Anya.
“Do you think we’re having a double wedding?”
“Probably. It does seem like the most efficient manner of getting married. We would split the cost, you know, and weddings are awfully expensive.”
Willow frowned at the shelves of the room.
“Where are we anyway? Look at all this stuff on these shelves…weird jars of weird stuff...weird books with weird covers like ‘Magick for Beginners.’ Oh!”
Tara gasped.
“This is a magic shop…a real magic shop.”
“Well, maybe that’s it,” Buffy said, “Maybe something magic….”
“Hey! I exist! I’m Alexander Harris,” Xander interrupted, beaming at the group and flashing his license at them.
Tara, Giles, and Willow pulled their licenses out and smiled, reciting off their names one at a time. Anya looked puzzled for a moment at the key she had pulled off of her necklace, then pepped up considerably.
“I’m Anya! This key fit the lock on the cash register…and I found some papers…Rupert and Anya own this magic shop together!”
“Well, that‘s…enterprising of me,” Giles said, “Aside from a few bits and pieces, I’m afraid we don’t know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don’t I? And a man…with glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably. I think we should all be fine…it’s probably just some reaction to a bad dinner or something…we’ll get our memory back and it’ll all be right as rain.”
“Oh listen to Mary Poppins…he’s got his crust all stiff and upper with the Nancy boy accent. You Englishmen are always so…bloody hell. Sodding. Blimey. Shagging. Knickers. Bollocks. Oh no. I’m English.”
“Welcome to the Nancy tribe.”
“You don’t suppose you and I are…we’re not related are we?”
Anya smiled.
“There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.”
Giles frowned at Spike.
“And you do inspire a…uh…well, a particular feeling of familiarity and…disappointment. Older brother?”
Spike scoffed.
“Father. Oh God how I must hate you.”
“What did I do?”
“There’s always something. And what’s with the trollop?”
Anya smacked his arm.
“Trollop?”
“You’re not too old to put across my knee you know, sonny,” Giles said. “What do I call you anyway?”
Spike patted his pockets, and, finding nothing, pulled his coat flap open.
“Made with care for ‘Randy.’ ‘Randy’ Giles? Why not call me ‘Horny’ Giles, or ‘Desperate for a Shag’ Giles? I knew there was a reason I hated you.”
Rubbing his neck, Buffy smiled at Spike.
“Randy is probably a family name, sweetie, and it isn’t that bad, really.”
“Not any worse than ‘Buffy,’” Spike said with a chuckle, before the back of his head was slapped.
“We should probably get to a hospital…see if they can figure out what’s wrong with us…any suggestions on how we can get there?”
Spike sauntered over to Giles and patted him on the back.
“Dad can drive. He’s bound to have some classic mid-life crisis transport…red, shiny, shaped like a penis.”
Two vampires growled at the group as they opened, screamed, and then quickly shut the door.
--
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Italics=internal monologue
And things aren't always as they seem...hehe
And things aren't always as they seem...hehe
Chapter End Notes:
Reviews make me a happy writer...:D