Spike stood in line at the liquer store, waiting to pay for two bottles of whiskey.

He thought about the things that had happened today.

The way his father had begged forgivness from him, when he himself should have been the one asking.

But he knew Giles had needed to hear the words.

And he'll never forget the look that passed across his face when he had said them.

"I forgive you, daddy."

He had broke down again, clinging to an equally torn up Spike, thanking him and telling him how much he loved him.

And Spike had cursed himself for putting Giles through torment, when he already lived there.

~~~

Tonight Spike had two bottles, one for him and one for Giles.

They had finally let go of something that had plagued them for years.

Now when they remembered Anne, it would be the good times they shared with her.

They had battled the memories so long that they hadn't even really thought of her, only her murder.

So tonight they would remember.

~~~~~~~

Buffy sat down on the soft grass covering her mother's grave.

The only time she stayed at her dad's place was when she slept.

And that was when she cried herself to sleep.

She visited her mother everyday, and she was thankful that they had decided to bury her in L.A., where she was born.

She talked to her nonstop, telling her anything and everything that crossed her mind.

In other words, she talked about Spike.

~~~

Each night when she went into the house she checked her cell phone and her dad's caller i.d.

And everynight there was nothing.

It killed her that he hadn't tried to call, and she could only hope that he was trying to straighten himself up.

But her biggest fear was that he was living in a bottle somewhere.

That thought made her want to run to him.

But she knew that if she did they would fall into the same routine, and he would never face his feelings.

And she knew that as much as she had helped him, she had hurt him too.

She was like a drug to him, she would take him away for awhile, but soon reality creeped back in and he would cling to her a little harder each time.

And she knew, just as she had told him, that they could never last like that.

Not until they were ready to fully give themselves to the other.

And as much as he didn't want to be, he was just like his father.

She heard Giles at night, listened when she wasn't supposed to, and she knew that he needed saving as much as Spike.

Jenny truly loved Giles and she did try to be there for him.

But she didn't try to help him, she tried to pacify him.

Because it had taken its toll on her as well.

And Buffy knew that she and Spike were heading in that direction.

And she never wanted to be like that.

When she looked at Spike she wanted it to be in love, she never wanted to resent him. And she knew she would if something didn't change.

And since Spike wouldn't, she had to do it herself by leaving.

Maybe one day he would be ready to share with her, to give himself fully to her.

And she would wait for that day.

Even if she died before it came.





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